#269 Authentic Sexual Expression: A Journey Beyond Societal Expectations (with Alex Gear)

In this episode, Mike Andryszewski shares his personal and professional journey in the realm of bodywork, sexuality, and spirituality. Mike discusses his background as a bodyworker and the various modalities he incorporates into his practice, including Thai massage, myofascial release, and craniosacral therapy. He emphasizes the importance of integrating mind-body connection and addressing deeper emotional issues through therapeutic touch. Mike also opens up about his experiences with premature ejaculation, sexual shame, and the transformative power of open communication with partners. The conversation delves into Mike's time as a celibate monk in a Hari Krishna ashram, his subsequent sexual renaissance, and how he reconciles his spirituality with his sexuality. The discussion culminates in the significance of connecting with nature and sensuality as a means to enhance both sexual and spiritual well-being.Key points:00:00 Introduction and Hot Seat Questions00:20 Mike's Background and Passion01:57 Exploring Body Work04:53 Integrating Coaching and Body Work07:48 Personal Journey and Sexual Renaissance12:22 Overcoming Premature Ejaculation20:16 The Role of Communication in Sexual Health27:46 Managing Shame and Expectations in Sexual Experiences30:33 The Importance of Communication in Sexual Relationships32:26 Exploring Spirituality and Sexuality38:30 Integrating Spiritual Practices into Sexual Experiences42:41 Connecting with Nature and Sensuality47:13 Final Thoughts and Practical Advice

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam intterviews Alex, a men's sex coach, about authenticity in male sexuality. Alex shares his personal journey and experiences with societal pressures that shaped his early sexual experiences, including performance anxiety and the influence of substance abuse. Cam and Alex discuss the transition towards a more genuine, shame-free sexual expression. They explore how societal messages and stereotypes impact not only their sex lives but also their broader relationships and mental health. They emphasise the importance of open communication, vulnerability, and self-exploration to understand one's unique sexual blueprint. By overcoming fear and anxiety, they advocate for embracing one's authentic sexual self. The episode also touches on the significance of nervous system regulation in dealing with sexual anxieties and the role of men's support groups in facilitating open conversations about these issues.Key points:00:00 Introduction and Opening Questions00:47 Defining Authentic Sexuality01:52 Societal Expectations and Masculinity03:05 Personal Struggles with Sexual Performance05:30 Journey to Sobriety and Self-Discovery07:23 Facing Shame and Embracing Authenticity15:33 Navigating Nervous System Responses17:22 Breathwork and Nervous System Regulation21:08 Communicating Sexual Desires with Partners25:10 The Importance of Vulnerability29:46 The Struggle of Asking for Help30:05 Acknowledging the Need for Help31:07 Vulnerability in Discussing Sexual Issues31:59 Exploring Sexuality and Self-Understanding33:20 The Power of Erotic Blueprints35:14 The Fluidity of Sexual Desires38:31 Breaking Free from Masturbation Habits40:39 Navigating Shame and Self-Pleasure42:29 The Anxiety Around Ejaculation49:10 The Importance of Vulnerability in Men's Groups50:16 Closing Thoughts and Where to Find More

On this episode, Cam interviews returning guest Kiki Maree, a sexologist, who discusses her passion for helping individuals express and understand their sexuality more authentically. The conversation covers the significant impact of body image on sexual satisfaction and the importance of understanding the fluidity of sexuality throughout life stages. Kiki shares insights on normalizing changes in sexual desire and function, particularly in relation to the menstrual cycle and life transitions such as parenthood and menopause. Cam adds his perspective on supporting men in accepting changes in their bodies and sexual function, highlighting the influence of media and societal expectations on self-perception. They also address practical tools and strategies for improving body image and sexual satisfaction, including focusing on body functionality and finding relatable representations in media. The episode concludes with a discussion on fostering a positive relationship with one's body, both individually and within intimate partnerships.00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction01:04 Understanding Sexuality and Menstrual Cycle04:29 Body Image Issues in Sexuality08:00 Impact of Body Image on Intimacy16:43 Strategies for Positive Body Image26:02 Practical Tips for Self-Compassion35:11 The Reality of Porn Representation36:24 Finding Authentic Representation37:52 Exposure to Diverse Bodies42:41 Personal Journey to Body Acceptance46:21 The Influence of Social Media on Body Image51:36 Reframing Exercise and Diet Culture55:38 Conclusion and ResourcesFree Body Image Masterclass: https://www.wixforms.com/f/7398981604351149056

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak with Nikki Justice—award-winning comedian, mother, and OnlyFans creator—about turning pain into punchlines and reclaiming power through comedy, courage, and self-expression. After a divorce during the pandemic, Nikki stumbled into stand-up, transforming her unconventional life and past struggles into bold, unapologetic storytelling.We explore the realities of being a woman in comedy and sex work, navigating online hate and societal judgment, and how humour can be both rebellion and release. Nikki also shares the inspiration behind her daring new show, The Naked Truth—a fully nude stand-up performance that celebrates vulnerability, body confidence, and freedom from shame.A raw, funny, and fearless conversation about resilience, reinvention, and the radical act of owning your story—on and off the stage.Key Points:@ 3:48 Finding comedy after divorce@ 7:53 Facing judgment and online backlash@ 21:44 Creating The Naked Truth@ 27:00 Balancing humour, healing, and authenticityRelevant Links:Nikki Justice Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkijusticecomedy/Nikki Justice Website: https://www.nikkijustice.com.au/

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak with Annette Benedetti—Portland-based sex and intimacy coach, writer, and host of the acclaimed show Talk Sex With Annette—about reclaiming pleasure, power, and connection through curiosity and compassion. Ranked in the top 2.5% of podcasts globally, Annette’s work dives deep into taboo-breaking conversations around kink, trauma, and empowerment, informed by both her professional expertise and lived experience as a survivor.We explore how cultural narratives and trauma shape our relationship with sexuality, the body, and intimacy—and how healing begins with awareness, consent, and curiosity. Annette shares practical insights on rebuilding trust and sensation after trauma, moving away from performance-based sex toward mutual exploration, and helping men appreciate their own bodies as worthy of pleasure and beauty.A raw, empowering conversation about dismantling shame, embracing embodiment, and creating space for authentic healing and pleasure.Key Points:@ 0:52 Barriers to embracing feminine power@ 4:39 Navigating trauma and its impacts@ 9:43 Rebuilding trust and sensation after trauma@ 16:31 Reframing goals and expectations around sex@ 47:30 Appreciating the male form and bodyRelevant Links:Annette Benedetti Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/annettebenedetti/Annette Benedetti YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@talksexwithannette

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak with Honey Brooks, a rural Australian mum, top OnlyFans creator, and bold voice redefining modern relationships—about navigating stigma, intimacy, and authenticity in the adult industry. From building a million-dollar business on her family farm to creating content with her husband, Honey shares her journey of creating content with her husband, including the importance of communication, trust, and respecting boundaries when sex and work intersect. We explore subscriber relationships, the responsibilities of adult creators, and the importance of fostering healthier conversations about sexuality. A candid and empowering dialogue on shame, connection, and writing your own rules.Key Points:@ 0:00 Introductions and background@ 3:30 Navigating disclosure and stigma@ 8:57 Creating content with a partner@ 27:41 Audience and subscriber relationships@ 42:39 Reflections on the adult industry@ 48:43 Closing thoughtsRelevant links:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/honeyybrooks/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@honeybrooks_

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak again with Leah Carey—sex and relationship coach based in the US who specializes in supporting people recovering from high-control or narcissistic abuse backgrounds. This time, we explore how trauma impacts intimacy, consent, and sexual connection. She explains how constant stress and lack of autonomy in childhood wire the brain for hypervigilance and fear, reducing creative problem-solving and shaping long-term challenges in relationships. We discuss why common self-care practices like meditation or journaling can be triggering for survivors, and explore trauma-sensitive alternatives that feel safer and more accessible. Leah also unpacks the complexities of intimacy and consent for those with trauma histories, including people-pleasing tendencies, blurred boundaries, and strategies for cultivating safe, pleasurable experiences. A deeply compassionate dialogue on recovery, autonomy, and reclaiming intimacy after control.Key Points@ 4:36 Impact of trauma on brain development@ 12:27 Challenges with common self-care practices@ 18:37 Navigating intimacy and consent@ 50:59 Recap and resourcesRelevant LinksLeah Carey Website: www.leahcarey.comLeah’s Substack: https://xoleahcarey.substack.com/Leah Carey Instagram: @goodgirlstalk

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak with Lex Nyree, Melbourne-based sexologist, educator, and advocate for destigmatizing sexual health about the importance of open, shame-free conversations around STIs. With a background in youth and social work and currently completing her Master of Sexology, Lex brings a unique perspective to reducing stigma and normalizing topics often considered taboo. We discuss her practical and compassionate approach to STI education, focusing on common infections, transmission, treatment, and the role of disclosure and consent in building healthy intimacy. Lex also shares how resources like Let Them Know and creative educational tools can support people in navigating these conversations. A powerful dialogue on sexual health, communication, and breaking down stigma to create more informed and connected experiences of sex.Key Points:@ 1:51 Importance of destigmatizing STIs @ 6:16 Strategies for STI education and prevention@ 26:58 Disclosure and consent around STIs @ 36:40 Understanding STI transmission and risk factors @ 47:26 Resources and reliable information Relevant Links:Lex Nyree Instagram: @sexwithlexmelb

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak with Rob Kancler, men’s coach and facilitator drawing on Tantra, Taoism, and somatic practices about the developmental journey of male sexuality and intimacy. Rob shares how early experiences of isolation and confusion shape men’s long-term challenges with self-esteem, connection, and performance. We explore the role of the nervous system in intimacy, unpacking how fear-based responses like fight, flight, freeze, and fawn often disrupt presence and pleasure. Rob and I discuss reframing masculinity and responsibility in relationships, shifting away from rigid scripts toward curiosity, creativity, and authentic communication. A rich conversation on cultivating embodied intimacy, regulating the nervous system, and redefining what it means to lead with presence in sex and relationships.Key Points:@1:19 The development of male and intimacy@4:29 Nervous system awareness and fear-based responses @17:34 Reframing masculinity and responsibility in intimacy @1:14:21 Closing reflections and resources

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I continue my conversation with Professor Alan McKee, who has spent decades studying pornography, pleasure, and sexual development. We dive into the legitimate problems with mainstream porn, including its narrow focus on penetration at the expense of female pleasure, its reinforcement of unrealistic beauty standards, and its lack of consent modeling. Alan and I also discuss how habitual porn use can create rigid “erotic pathways” that don’t always translate to real-life encounters, and why strategies for more mindful consumption are key. Together, we reflect on what it would take for sexual media to better represent diversity, consent, and connection, and how healthier pathways can support more positive experiences of sexuality.Key Points:2:10 Lack of variety in practices15:38 Unrealistic beauty standards 23:27 Lack of consent modeling 36:16 Habitual and compulsive use50:23 Recap and future directions