201. Your relationship rules: Control attempt or reasonable boundary?

I’m taking us back to one of my older popular episodes - and it’s just in time for those of you already starting to navigate difficult conversations around plans for the holidays.If you’re already feeling a sense of dread about the holiday season…A looming feeling of pressure about the expectations of your loved ones…Or maybe you find the behaviour of some relatives pretty tough to deal with…Then this podcast is for YOU.I’ll let my past self take it away! 

I’ve been reading How to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carniege and it talks about a simple anti-worrying strategy that I just had to share with you all.So if you’re an obsessive worrier - like I myself have always been - buckle up, because this one is for you.Mentioned in the episode:How to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carniege1:1 coaching with Rebecca - [email protected] to feel calm when they're not texting back - private podcast

Are you constantly worrying about what other people think?Are they mad at you?Do they like you?Did they think what you said at dinner was stupid? Or insensitive?In today’s episode - I’m talking about the simple, yet powerful skill we need to master to FINALLY stop worrying so much about what other people think.Mentioned in the episode:1:1 coaching with Rebecca - [email protected]

Do you and your partner seem to argue about the same things over and over?Do small disagreements suddenly turn into huge arguments where neither person feels heard or understood?If so, I’d bet that you’re making at least one of these 5 common mistakes that actually create more unnecessary arguments in relationships. In today’s episode, I’m walking you through what those mistakes are, how they show up in relationships, and how to begin overcoming them TODAY.Mentioned in the episode:1:1 coaching with Rebecca - [email protected] private podcast series waitlist

You’re hurt about something that’s happened in your relationship.But should you say something? Is it just your thoughts? When should you speak up and when should you change the way you’re thinking about something?This is exactly what we’re talking about in today’s episode!Ready? Let’s dive in.Mentioned in the episode:1:1 coaching with Rebecca - [email protected] to feel calm when they're not responding - Private podcast

Do you see other people posting their engagement photos, or baby shower pictures and feeling envious?Or maybe you see people posting their travelling pictures - and start to feel dissatisfied with the lack of travelling you’ve done lately?Or maybe you see your best friend’s boyfriend spoiling her with expensive gifts, and you start to compare that to your own relationship - where your partner's idea of romance is splitting a chicken masala from the local takeaway.Comparison can leave us feeling anxious, frustrated, and disconnected from our lives.So let’s talk about why it happens, and how to stop it in its tracks.Mentioned in the episode:1:1 coaching with Rebecca - [email protected]

Ever felt an intense feeling of shame when someone is upset with you?Well... I've had a couple of situations happen recently.One with my wife and one with a close friend of mine - where I experienced feelings of both shame & anxiety, after making a mistake.My brain jumped to thoughts like:'I'm not good enough''I'm a bad friend'I even started catastrophising to...'What if my friend doesn't forgive me?''What if the whole friendship group falls out with me over this?'So today, I'm walking you through exactly how I coached myself to the other side of it.And how you can too!Mentioned in the episode:1:1 coaching with Rebecca - [email protected]

Today I'm answering a question from a listener."My boyfriend of 1.5 years and I started out having an open relationship. Turned out that this wasn't a good fit for me due to my insecurities and brought on anxiety that was unmanageable."Now my boyfriend has agreed to be in a monogamous relationship with me. I find my self feeling "guilty" that he is now in a different style of relationship than what he initially wanted, and worried that he will inevitably change his mind and we will have to break up."Any advice to how to deal with this anxiety and guilt?"Mentioned in the episode:1:1 coaching with Rebecca - email [email protected] masterclass - Your Self-Trust Bubble: How to stop spiralling in the face of rejection

Is your fear of losing them pushing them away?Are you feeling so anxious that it’s getting in between you and your partner - or maybe you and your friends - when all you want is to feel closer to them?In today’s episode, I’m talking about 5 ways a fear of losing someone actually pushes the people we love away.And I’m offering you practical ways to start to challenge these subconscious patterns, and create connection with them instead. Mentioned in the episode:1:1 coaching with Rebecca - email [email protected] masterclass: Your Self-Trust Bubble - How to stop spiralling in the face of rejection

Don’t like thirst trap pictures on Instagram.Don’t reply if your ex messages you.Don’t go for drinks with your female co-worker, unless other people are going.Sometimes we set rules for our partners as a way to avoid or manage our own fears and anxieties. Other times, we really don’t want to be okay with a certain kind of behaviour.In this episode, I help you get better at making that judgement call - and manage your mind in the face of any behaviour in your relationship.Mentioned in this episode:1:1 coaching with Rebecca - [email protected] Self-Trust Bubble: How to stop spiralling in the face of rejection MASTERCLASS