267. The five steps to create Secure Attachment for a better relationship

In today’s episode, we are joined by Rebecca Lynne Ray, who shares her personal journey of healing her anxious/fearful avoidant attachment style. She realized she needed to work on her attachment style after a painful breakup that left her feeling insecure. In this episode, she shares how she became securely attached, created deeper connections with her friends, and learned how to receive support. Lynne also shares how this work impacted other areas of her life, including her career and her relationships with her family. Tune in to learn more about the journey to secure attachment.Learn more about Lynne’s work as a therapist here: http://rebeccalynneray.comAnd about her upcoming book on suicide risk management here: https://www.rebeccaray473.com/suicide-risk-managementDiscover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/Watch Sarah Cohan on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itssarahcohanIf you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help you have a better relationship where you feel like you're getting 100% of each other. Book a free Secure Love Roadmap Call to get started. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

This episode is for you if you struggle to have conflict with your partner or find yourself in the same recurring conflict pattern over and over again. I explain the steps to be able to resolve conflict so you can put it bed and move on with your life. Knowing that you and your partner can resolve conflict will help you feel like you two are on the same team and working as a unit. And no matter what life throws at you, you will be able to handle it. Tune in to start changing your approach to conflict.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/Watch Sarah Cohan on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itssarahcohanIf you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help you have a better relationship where you feel like you're getting 100% of each other. Book a free Secure Love Roadmap Call to get started. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

This episode covers the five steps to creating secure attachment for a better relationship. If you are anxious preoccupied, dismissive avoidant, or fearful avoidant this episode is for you. I cover the relationship dynamics that most insecure attachment styles experience and how you can heal your attachment style. When you create secure attachment, you feel supported, prioritized, and connected in your relationship. Having this in your romantic partner will help you feel more confident at work, with kids, and in your community. Do these five things and you’ll start to see a difference!Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/Watch Sarah Cohan on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itssarahcohanIf you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help you have a better relationship where you feel like you're getting 100% of each other. Book a free Secure Love Roadmap Call to get started. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Today, I talk with Becca about how she overcame her anxious-preoccupied attachment style to get over her ex and finally start dating.When we started working together, she had been struggling to get over her ex for over a year. She was new to dating and felt inexperienced. She was working overtime to make sure others felt comfortable while staying small and hiding herself. Now she is dating, having the best sex of her life, and meeting new people, not even thinking about her ex. She is blowing her own mind by dating different kinds of people and showing up confidently. Find out how she did it and the biggest obstacle she had to overcome yet as a parent.Join the Feel to Heal: 14 Day challenge for a more secure relationship here: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/F30VAqEzRsGaQAmghgjhUwDiscover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/Watch Sarah Cohan on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itssarahcohanIf you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help you have a better relationship where you feel like you're getting 100% of each other. Book a free Secure Love Roadmap Call to get started. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

My client recently asked me based on all the couples that I work with what advice I would give to a man that wants to have a better marriage. I told him to take his wife of the pedestal so they are on an even playing field. Naturally, I had to record this episode so you have this information too. I share how this dynamic plays out and the true cost it has to your marriage. I also share the specific steps on how to put yourself on a pedestal so that your needs are on the same level. No more people-pleasing, seeking external validation, or overgiving. This will help you to increase your self-worth in a consistent way.This dynamic can show up in many other types of relationships whether hetero or homo, so change the gender and pronouns as needed.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/Watch Sarah Cohan on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itssarahcohanIf you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help you have a better relationship where you feel like you're getting 100% of each other. Book a free Secure Love Roadmap Call to get started. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

In today’s episode, I go over the four different attachment styles and their main patterns in relationships. I talk about their biggest fears, how they show up in relationships, and what they should focus on to create earned secure attachment. I also explain the dynamics at play in the anxious avoidant relationship dynamic. If you want to learn more about your attachment style or need a refresher, this episode is for you.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/Watch Sarah Cohan on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itssarahcohanIf you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help you have a better relationship where you feel like you're getting 100% of each other. Book a free Secure Love Roadmap Call to get started. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

This episode is to help you through the times when your relationship or marriage feels hard. I call them low love cycles. And every relationship has them. I share four tools to help you through the low cycle. And I even pull some wisdom from the superstar herself, Taylor Swift. No I’m not a Swiftie, but her approach to songwriting can help you get through this low cycle. Tune in so you can get back to the good parts of your relationship quicker.Download your free scripts to get your needs met in your relationship here. https://www.sarahcohan.com/free-toolsWatch today's episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/HmZxMaP0E8o?si=8dQ03NTOWZ_tVxgzDiscover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help you have a better relationship where you feel like you're getting 100% of each other. Book a free Secure Love Roadmap Call to get started. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Today I’m spilling the tea about how to reframe boundaries as a loving and supportive act for a healthy relationship. If you have an anxious-preoccupied, dismissive avoidant, or fearful-avoidant attachment style, you likely don’t set boundaries at all, set too many boundaries to avoid vulnerability, or feel like boundaries are a punishment and don’t want to hurt people with them. This episode will help you see boundaries in a new way and set them with love so you never feel disrespected.Tune in so you can build trust with yourself and your relationships through boundaries.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Every longterm relationship will eventually pick up some scrapes and bruises. Some wounds will be bigger than others. But it is important to repair these wounds in order to rebuild a deeper connection with each other. If you’ve experienced betrayal, disappointment, or feeling let down in your relationship, this episode is for you. I share the steps you need to take in order to rebuild trust between you two. It’s possible to move past these hurts so you can enjoy your relationship again. Tune in to learn more.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

If you’re in a long-term relationship or marriage, you likely have a repetitive argument that you keep coming back to. Usually there’s a word, phrase, or tone that will set one of you off, and that reaction escalates into conflict. It can feel like this fight never gets resolved. I share a recent one that I had with my husband and then I share the steps to resolve this conflict so it doesn’t keep triggering you. Being able to resolve conflict is a key pillar of having a healthy relationship. Tune in to have productive conflict that gets resolved today.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform