Who Am I Becoming?

What happens when the woman you used to be no longer feels like you?In this episode of Midlife Bites, Kirsten sits down with Emma Mongaven, a stylist, mum of four, and military wife, for a deeply honest conversation about identity, loss, change, resilience, and finding your way back to yourself.Emma shares her journey from her career at the ABC and life in Sydney to becoming a mum of four, moving back to Perth, navigating the impact of her husband's military service and health challenges, and eventually discovering a new version of herself.She calls it Emma 2.0.And Emma 2.0 is colourful, unapologetic, curious and willing to try things simply because they might be fun.This conversation explores what happens when life changes so much that you barely recognise yourself anymore—and how reconnecting with your identity can start with something as simple as putting on clothes that actually feel like you.In this episode, Emma shares:Her journey as a mum of four and military wifeLeaving Sydney and returning to Perth after nearly two decades awayLosing a career she loved at the ABCThe impact of her husband's military service and health challenges on their familyHow multiple life changes can become impossible to separate from one anotherThe grief that can come with losing a career, identity, relationships, routines and versions of yourselfHow becoming a mum caused Emma to lose touch with her own identityThe powerful photo that made Emma realise just how disconnected she had becomeWhy she wanted to give that younger version of herself a hugHow clothing became part of her journey back to herselfMoving from conservative, structured corporate clothing to a much more colourful and expressive personal styleWhy style isn't about creating clones of yourselfHow experimenting with clothes can help women reconnect with who they areWhy play and experimentation become so important in midlifeThe fear of being bad at something newLearning to become comfortable with being a beginnerWhy trying something new doesn't have to mean you're going to be good at itEmma's experience with boxing and how exercise became an important part of her wellbeingThe importance of therapy, connection and communityWhy you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonelyHow Emma consciously created a new community around herselfLearning to stop pushing yourself down to fit other people's expectationsThe fierceness that can emerge in midlifeSetting boundaries and becoming your own advocateDiscovering resilience by looking at everything you've already survivedThe importance of tenacity and audacityWhy authenticity matters more than trying to be acceptableLearning to love what you love and own it without shameWhen you lose yourselfOne of the most moving parts of the conversation is Emma describing a photo of herself shortly after the birth of her fourth child.Looking at the woman in the photo, Emma didn't see the confident, colourful woman she is today.She saw someone who looked sad, disconnected and like she was trying to disappear.At that point in her life, she was dealing with motherhood, the loss of a career she loved, uncertainty about the future, family pressures and the impact of her husband's declining health.Clothes had become something simply to wear rather than something that expressed who she was.Emma says she now looks at that version of herself with compassion and wants to give her a hug.That moment became part of understanding how far she had come—and how much there was still to rediscover.Finding Emma 2.0Emma's transformation wasn't about becoming someone completely different.It was about asking:Who do I want to be now?As life changed, Emma began experimenting with colour, clothing and style.She started asking herself how she wanted to feel, rather than simply worrying about what was acceptable or what she thought she was supposed to wear.That experimentation became an important part of reconnecting with herself.And this is also what Emma now encourages the women she works with to do.Not to become a version of Emma.Not to follow a particular fashion formula.But to discover what feels like them.The power of playOne of the key themes throughout this conversation is play.As adults, and particularly as women navigating the demands of midlife, play can disappear.We're busy looking after everyone else.We're working.We're parenting.We're managing households.We're dealing with change.And eventually, we can forget what it feels like to simply experiment and try something because we're curious.Emma believes play can be a way back to ourselves.It might be trying a new outfit.Wearing bold earrings.Trying a new activity.Taking up boxing.Dancing.Singing badly in the car.Or simply giving yourself permission to do something you're not immediately good at.You don't have to know that something will become your new passion.You can simply give it a go.Being willing to be a beginnerEmma and Kirsten also talk about how intimidating it can be to start something new in midlife.By this stage, many of us are used to being competent.We know what we're doing at work.We know how to parent.We know our routines.We've developed skills and expertise.So suddenly becoming a beginner again can feel incredibly uncomfortable.But Emma's approach is simple:Why not?You don't have to be good at something before you try it.You can learn.You can improve.And sometimes the things you initially think you'll hate become things you genuinely enjoy.Tenacity and audacityEmma shares two words that have become particularly meaningful to her:Tenacity.Audacity.Having the courage to step outside what feels comfortable.Having the determination to keep going.Being willing to try something new.And sometimes simply having the audacity to say:This is me.Emma shares the story of her young daughter joining a Little League team where she was playing up an age group, surrounded by boys, in a sport she had never played before.Her daughter didn't necessarily love every moment of it, but she showed up.For Emma, watching that became a reminder of what it means to have the courage to try.Your midlife doesn't have to look a certain wayThis episode is ultimately about giving yourself permission to evolve.You may not be the same woman you were ten, fifteen or twenty years ago.And you don't have to be.Your body may have changed.Your relationships may have changed.Your career may have changed.Your family may have changed.Your priorities may have changed.You may have lost things along the way.But there can also be something incredibly powerful about discovering what comes next.Emma's story is a reminder that you can grieve who you were while also becoming someone new.Emma's advice for women in midlifeWhen Kirsten asks Emma what wisdom she would give women navigating their own midlife bite, her answer comes down to three powerful ideas:Authenticity.Be yourself.Passion.Love what you love.Personality.Let yourself be seen.Emma's message is to stop being ashamed of the things you genuinely enjoy.Whether it's oysters, pickles, purple, leopard print, bold jewellery or something completely different—if you love it, own it.Do it with passion and personality.And don't be afraid to let that shine through.Key takeawayYou don't have to have everything figured out.You don't have to know exactly who you're becoming.You can experiment.You can try things.You can change your mind.You can be a beginner.You can rediscover parts of yourself you thought you'd lost.And you can create your own version of Emma 2.0—or whatever version of yourself comes next.Connect with EmmaEmma works with women to help them reconnect with their personal style, confidence and authentic selves.Find Emma online through her website and social media to learn more about her styling work and follow along with her colourful approach to midlife.Loved this episode?If this conversation resonated with you, follow Midlife Bites so you don't miss the next episode.And if you have a moment, leave a review. It helps other women discover the podcast and reminds them that they're not the only ones navigating the messy, funny, challenging and sometimes wonderful experience of midlife.Midlife isn't here to break you; it's here to remake you.Click subscribe or follow to make sure you get notified about new episodes. Visit here to access a comprehensive resource hub for Australian women navigating menopause, offering trusted professionals, support, and information all in one place.https://www.allabouthercentre.com.au/

Why I’m Stepping Away from Traditional Psychology: A New Approach to Supporting Midlife WomenAfter nearly 30 years of providing psychological services, Kirsten is making a big—and scary—change.In this episode of Midlife Bites, Kirsten shares why she has decided to step back from traditional psychological services and move into a mentoring model designed specifically to support women through midlife, perimenopause, and menopause.This isn’t because she’s tired of hearing women’s stories. Quite the opposite.Kirsten explains that she loves helping women make sense of their experiences, understand themselves, and work out what they want for the next chapter of their lives. But she has increasingly felt that the traditional mental health care model can be restrictive when the work a woman needs goes beyond treating psychological distress.For some women, perimenopause and menopause can have a significant impact on mental health, and psychological support is absolutely important. But for many others, the challenge is less about pathology and more about navigating change, identity, values, relationships, boundaries, purpose, confidence, and figuring out who they are becoming.And that is where Kirsten sees mentoring playing an important role.In this episode, Kirsten talks about:Why she has made the decision to step away from traditional psychological servicesThe limitations she sees in the mental health care plan modelWhy not every difficult experience during perimenopause or menopause is necessarily a mental health disorderThe difference between psychological distress and psychological growthWhy perimenopause can bring identity, values, relationships, boundaries, and purpose into sharp focusWhy ten rebated psychological sessions may not be enough to support a transition that can last for many yearsThe importance of community and connection for midlife womenWhy many women lose touch with curiosity, fun, joy, and experimentation during midlifeHow mentoring can provide a more active and flexible form of supportKirsten’s vision for bringing women together through online group sessions and in-person eventsCreating opportunities for women to try new things, meet other women, and reconnect with themselvesThe option of VIP mentoring with individual access to KirstenWhy self-trust can come under fire during perimenopauseWhat it means to grow into a more grounded, self-accepting and self-led version of yourselfWhy Kirsten believes midlife women deserve support that goes beyond simply treating symptomsA different way of looking at midlifeKirsten challenges the idea that every difficult experience during perimenopause needs to be viewed through a pathological lens.Perimenopause can be genuinely difficult. For some women, it can significantly affect their mental health and professional psychological support is important.But difficulty doesn't automatically mean something is wrong with you.This stage of life can also bring about a deeper developmental process—one that asks us to reconsider who we are, what matters to us, what we want to stand for, which relationships nourish us, where we need boundaries, and what we want the next chapter of our lives to look like.From psychological services to mentoringKirsten explains why she believes a mentoring model gives her more freedom to support women through this developmental work.Her new mentoring approach will include:Online group sessionsCreating a space where midlife women can come together, share experiences, have meaningful conversations, and support one another.Events and experiencesOpportunities to try different activities, explore new interests, meet other women, and reconnect with curiosity, fun and joy.Community and connectionHelping women build connections with others while also reconnecting with themselves.VIP mentoringFor women who want additional individual access and support from Kirsten.At the heart of the mentoring program is a desire to help women develop greater self-trust, self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-leadership.Kirsten describes this as finding your way towards becoming a more grounded and anchored “wise woman.”If you need psychological supportKirsten is also clear that mentoring isn't the right fit for everyone.If you are experiencing significant psychological distress or need a traditional psychological service, All About Her – The Centre for Menopause has psychologists who continue to provide psychological services for perimenopausal and menopausal women.The new mentoring approach is intended for women who may not necessarily need psychological treatment but are looking for support around areas such as:IdentityValuesMeaning and purposeRelationshipsBoundariesChoicesChangeSelf-trustConfidencePersonal growthFinding joy and curiosity againA bold stepFor Kirsten, this transition is also personal.Stepping away from a professional model she has worked within for nearly 30 years is a significant and scary decision. But she believes that if she is encouraging women to make courageous choices that feel aligned with who they are becoming, she needs to embody that courage herself.Midlife can be a time of enormous change—but it can also be an opportunity to reclaim parts of ourselves that have been lost along the way.And sometimes, moving forward means being brave enough to try something different.Connect with KirstenIf this episode raises questions for you, Kirsten welcomes you to reach out and start a conversation about whether her mentoring approach might be right for you.You can also visit All About Her – The Centre for Menopause to find a practitioner who can support you through midlife.🌐 Website: allabouthercentre.com.au📧 Email: [email protected] this episode?If Midlife Bites resonated with you, follow the podcast so you don't miss future episodes.And if you have a moment, leaving a review helps other women discover the podcast and feel a little less alone in their own midlife journey.Midlife isn't here to break you; it's here to remake you.Keywordsmidlife women, perimenopause, menopause, midlife transition, women's mental health, psychological growth, midlife mentoring, menopause support, self-trust, identity, boundaries, purpose, personal growth, women's community, midlife confidence, self-leadershipClick subscribe or follow to make sure you get notified about new episodes. Visit here to access a comprehensive resource hub for Australian women navigating menopause, offering trusted professionals, support, and information all in one place.https://www.allabouthercentre.com.au/

In this episode of Midlife Bites, clinical psychologist Kirstin Bouse is joined by Dr Sarah Davenport, a Melbourne-based clinical psychologist, to help listeners get to know the person behind the therapy room.Sarah shares her professional journey from public mental health into private practice, and what she’s learned from working long-term with women across different life stages. Together, they explore why private practice allows for deeper, more flexible care, and how personality fit and trust are just as important as expertise in therapy.The conversation also touches on how Sarah found her way into working with women’s mental health and hormones, particularly during the menopausal transition, and the values that shape her small group practice.A warm, grounded introduction to Sarah, her work, and her approach to supporting women through midlife and beyond.Click subscribe or follow to make sure you get notified about new episodes. Visit here to access a comprehensive resource hub for Australian women navigating menopause, offering trusted professionals, support, and information all in one place.https://www.allabouthercentre.com.au/

In this follow-up conversation on Midlife Bites, clinical psychologist Kirstin Bouse is joined again by Dr Sarah Davenport to explore the deeper emotional landscape of the menopausal transition.Sarah speaks openly about menopause as a time of profound change — not just physically, but psychologically and relationally. Together, they unpack common experiences women bring to therapy, including mood changes, rage, fatigue, brain fog, loss of identity, and the unsettling feeling of “not feeling like myself anymore.”The discussion delves into grief and loss in midlife, self-abandonment, and the realisation many women face that the ways they’ve lived, given, and coped no longer fit. Sarah reflects on how past trauma can resurface during this stage, why menopause can feel like a reckoning, and how reclaiming voice, boundaries, and self-trust becomes essential.A compassionate, validating conversation about why midlife can feel so hard — and how, with the right support, it can also become a powerful turning point.Click subscribe or follow to make sure you get notified about new episodes. Visit here to access a comprehensive resource hub for Australian women navigating menopause, offering trusted professionals, support, and information all in one place.https://www.allabouthercentre.com.au/

Quick song for Mid-Life BitesClick subscribe or follow to make sure you get notified about new episodes. Visit here to access a comprehensive resource hub for Australian women navigating menopause, offering trusted professionals, support, and information all in one place.https://www.allabouthercentre.com.au/

In this episode of Midlife Bites, clinical psychologist and host Kirstin Bouse sits down with Emma Mun Gavin—mother of four, military wife, and midlife reinvention advocate—to explore what it really means to rebuild yourself when life forces you to start again.Emma shares her deeply personal journey through a series of major life upheavals: her husband’s medical discharge from the military after 25 years due to complex PTSD, depression, anxiety, and physical injuries; losing her own job after nearly two decades in Sydney; and relocating her family back to Perth, a place that felt unfamiliar despite being “home.”Amidst caring for her family and navigating her husband’s mental health, Emma found herself facing a powerful question so many women ask in midlife: “Who am I now?”From here, Emma 2.0 began to emerge.Through therapy, boxing, and intentionally building new community connections, Emma slowly rebuilt her identity. A surprising but transformative part of her healing came through fashion—shifting from conservative corporate attire to bold, expressive style that mirrored the woman she was becoming. Today, she helps other women reclaim joy and confidence through color, experimentation, and unapologetic self-expression.This episode is an inspiring reminder that midlife reinvention is not only possible—it can be a profound act of self-advocacy, courage, and joy.Listen in if you’ve ever wondered:“How do I rebuild myself after everything in my life changes?” “Is it too late to rediscover who I am?” “Can self-expression really transform identity?”Connect with Kirstin:🌐 allabouthercentre.com.au🎧 Follow Midlife Bites wherever you get your podcasts.Click subscribe or follow to make sure you get notified about new episodes. Visit here to access a comprehensive resource hub for Australian women navigating menopause, offering trusted professionals, support, and information all in one place.https://www.allabouthercentre.com.au/

Welcome to the very first episode of Midlife Bites! In this debut, host Kirstin Bouse—clinical psychologist and midlife mentor—opens up an honest conversation about what it really feels like to be a woman in midlife.From the disorienting shifts of perimenopause and menopause to the deeper emotional tug of wondering, “Where did I go?”, Kirstin normalises the ups and downs of this messy, powerful chapter of life. She reframes midlife not as a failure, but as a natural transition—one that can be just as transformative as puberty or pregnancy.This episode is an invitation to stop clinging to who you used to be and instead explore the more exciting question: Who am I becoming? Along the way, Kirstin introduces her signature program, WANT, designed to help women reconnect with themselves and clarify what’s next.Tune in to embrace midlife as a time of growth, reclamation, and possibility—and maybe even share your own story with the community.Click subscribe or follow to make sure you get notified about new episodes. Visit here to access a comprehensive resource hub for Australian women navigating menopause, offering trusted professionals, support, and information all in one place.https://www.allabouthercentre.com.au/

In this episode of Midlife Bites, clinical psychologist and host Kirstin Bouse explores the quiet but powerful experience of grief in midlife—not the grief of losing others, but the more subtle losses that come with menopause, changing identities, and shifting bodies.Drawing from her own experience of having to give up strength training due to persistent pain, Kirstin reflects on how these changes can challenge our sense of self and belonging. She unpacks modern grief theories, explaining that grief isn’t linear but rather an oscillation between loss and adaptation—a continual movement between acknowledging what’s gone and adjusting to what’s next.This episode is a heartfelt invitation to honor past versions of yourself, accept the uncertainty of who you’re becoming, and recognize that growth and loss often coexist in midlife.Listen in if you’ve ever wondered:“Why do I feel sad about things that don’t seem like losses?”“Who am I now that so much has changed?”“Can grief and growth really happen at the same time?”Connect with Kirstin: 🌐 allabouthercentre.com.au🎧 Follow Midlife Bites wherever you get your podcasts.Click subscribe or follow to make sure you get notified about new episodes. Visit here to access a comprehensive resource hub for Australian women navigating menopause, offering trusted professionals, support, and information all in one place.https://www.allabouthercentre.com.au/

You know that mental checklist that never seems to end? The one running quietly in the background — keeping track of everyone’s needs, appointments, and emotions? That’s the invisible load — and in midlife, it only seems to get heavier.In this episode of Midlife Bites, clinical psychologist and host Kirsten Bouse unpacks the hidden weight so many women carry — the constant managing, fixing, remembering, and caring that leaves us drained and disconnected from ourselves. She dives into why this load intensifies during perimenopause and midlife, how it quietly shapes our relationships, and what it really takes to start lightening it.Kirsten doesn’t promise quick fixes — instead, she offers honest reflection, small but powerful shifts, and an invitation to finally put yourself back on your own list.If you’ve ever thought, “I’m tired of being the one who holds it all together,” this episode will feel like a deep exhale.Click subscribe or follow to make sure you get notified about new episodes. Visit here to access a comprehensive resource hub for Australian women navigating menopause, offering trusted professionals, support, and information all in one place.https://www.allabouthercentre.com.au/

In this episode of Midlife Bites, host Kirstin Bouse welcomes fellow psychologist Kaz Amos for an open and heartfelt conversation about the messy, beautiful middle of life.Kaz shares her winding path from personal training and counselling to finally becoming a registered psychologist—while juggling family, business, and the realities of midlife. Together, Kirstin and Kaz explore what it really means to navigate this season: the physical and emotional upheaval of perimenopause, shifting identities, changing relationships, and those moments when we feel a little invisible.They also talk about the power of therapy—not just for individuals, but for couples learning to reconnect in new ways—and the importance of having safe spaces and honest conversations. From Kaz’s women’s group (“The Love Club”) to the solidarity of Generation X women demanding better research and cultural awareness around menopause, this episode reminds us that we’re not alone in these transitions.The conversation even touches on the overlap of perimenopause and adult ADHD, highlighting how complex and layered midlife can be.It’s real, relatable, and deeply validating—an invitation to keep talking, sharing, and supporting one another through this transformative stage of life.Listen in if you’ve ever wondered:“Is it just me feeling this way?”“What’s happening to my body and mind?”“How do I find myself again in midlife?”Connect with Kirstin: 🌐 allabouthercentre.com 🎧 Follow Midlife Bites wherever you get your podcasts.Click subscribe or follow to make sure you get notified about new episodes. Visit here to access a comprehensive resource hub for Australian women navigating menopause, offering trusted professionals, support, and information all in one place.https://www.allabouthercentre.com.au/