Vijnana Bhairava Reflections: Grace and Effort

Beyond the Void and Union with Shiva:Swami Muktananda's teaching distinguishes our tradition by revealing that beyond the void is Shiva.Dharana emphasizes mindful separation from infinite manifestations, leading to union with true nature, Bhairava, synonymous with Shiva.Surrendering the Senses: Seeing them as 'Nothing':Mind and senses depicted as a five-fold mandala: smell, touch, taste, sight, and sound working together.Analogy of senses as peacock's feathers, creating a dizzying experience.Swami Lakshmanjoo's method: Concentrate on the void while seeing senses as 'nothing'.Reflection on the yogic tradition's viewpoint of 'the void' and the difference between rejecting senses and concentrating on the void.The Source of the Senses Mapped by the Tattvas:Teaching aligns with Tattvas, where Shiva and Shakti's dance creates all manifestation.Outward expansion involves the development of the power of physical senses (Jnana Indriyas), leading to sensations, subtle elements, and gross elements.Three capacities arise simultaneously, with objects often overshadowing the deeper mechanism within us.A Closer Look at The Moment of Sensation:The indriyas (senses) have no meaning without the objects they are correlated with.Importance of accessing a deeper space during sense perception, in line with the yogic concept of surrender.Surrendering to the Source:The void described in Dharana is devoid of object but not content.Interacting with objects is interacting with Shiva in a limited way; turning attention within enriches the experience.Letting go of the sense object is a gain to the heart, allowing the experience of Shiva beyond the void.Translation and Practice of Dharana 9:Swami Lakshmanjoo sees the senses as nothing; Paul Reps adds the approach of melting into the beauty of the senses.Achieving the goal of the heart, the real wish behind the senses, through different approaches.Jai Deva Singh's teaching on the Absolute void as Bhairava and Shiva being most full from the point of view of Reality.Imagery and Practice:Paul Reps' imagery of the peacock tail and melting its beauty within for finding the source in the heart.Traditional approach of perceiving a point in space until it becomes nothing.Both approaches lead to achieving the goal of the heart and fulfilling the real wish behind the senses.

Full Essay with Quotes: Babaji often tells the story of his meeting with Swami Muktananda in which Muktananda told him that many meditation traditions teach that one meditates to experience the void, but that beyond the void is Shiva. In the current Dharana, we see the same teaching— when we use our practice to detach from the infinite manifestations of the mind and senses, we are able to attain mindful separation, which is like a void, and that sustaining that state brings us into union with our true nature, here named Bhairava, which is the same way of saying Shiva. Shiva exists beyond the void. In this Dharana our mind and senses are described as a type of five-fold mandala, smell, touch, taste, sight and sound working as one to inform us of our physical reality. These senses are likened to a peacocks feathers, which when fanned behind them create a dizzying experience much like the mind and senses can become. Our task as yogis is to witness the mind and senses, but not to multiply them with our energy. One method for this, given by Swami Lakshmanjoo, is to see the senses themselves as voids. “You must concentrate simultaneously on [the void while experiencing each of] these five, that it is nothing, it is only a void and nothing else. Then, you have to forcibly concentrate that these are nothing, [that] these objects are nothing–“What I see is nothing, what appears to me is nothing, what I hear is nothing, what I touch and what I get [as] the sensation of smell, it is nothing, it is only śūnya.” It is only seeing as energy–just seeing only, hearing only, not to analyze that…There it ends. And when I feel smelling, there ends that. At the time of that sensation of smelling, you must end it there. You must not go further, You must not go beyond that so that you will [avoid being] entangled in the world of the senses.”This is one of the many underlying teachings of the Tattvas, the yogic map of manifestation. In the tattvas we see that Shiva and Shakti’s dance creates all of manifestation. As we expand further from Shiva we are covered by maya, illusion, meaning as our awareness moves further from our own center we identify less  and less with our true nature. This outward expansion from center takes a particular path that is helpful in understanding this Dharana. We see in tattvas 17-21, the power of the physical senses are developed— there are called the Jnana Idriyas, which is referred to in the text by Swami Lakshmanjoo as well. This is considered the source of the senses, described as the ‘power of seeing’ the ‘power of smelling’ and so on. This source gives rise to the sensations themselves, tattvas 27-31, called the subtle elements. This would be the capacity for sense itself, but not of any particular scent. The capacity for sight, but not necessarily a particular sight, etc. And eventually the power and capacity for the senses gives rise to the actual gross elements themselves, tattvas 32-36, the final and most externalized of manifestation. Interesting enough, all three of these capacity’s arise simultaneously, we see the object, but often miss the deeper mechanism happening within us. Intro to Kashmir Shaivism: “The moment the senses of perception are produced, the five tanmatras or subtle elements of perception also come into manifestation from the same Ahamkara, because the indriyas can have no meaning or existence whatsoever with​out the objects with which they are inseparably correlated. For instance, the indriya of hearing has no meaning without something to hear, that is, without sound. Similarly, the indriyas of feeling-by-touch, tasting, and smelling have no meaning without a simultaneous reference to something to feel, taste, and smell. Therefore, the moment Manas arises as desire, Ahamkara takes a triple form: I - (1) de​sire - (2) to see - (3) some color.” (Note: the ahamkara is the self that is doing or the personality associated with this individual body. It refers to the sense of being an individual separate from everything else.)This means that behind every color is a deeper understanding if we are willing to surrender it. This experience of surrender is something we have been given by Swami Rudrananda, but keep in mind that this word does not come up very often in the text as we have read it. Therefore the act of surrender is a way of describing a very paradoxical yet essential reality we must learn to participate within— if we can let go of the sense object in front of us, which appears to mean we are left with nothing, we are actually brought to a much vaster experience. Beyond the void is Shiva, this is an essentially another way of teaching us the nature of surrender. When we let go we begin to receive. Let go of the color, receive the source of the color. To the mind we have lost something, but to the heart we have gained. As Jai Deva Singh teaches at the end of his commentary on this Dharana: The Absolute void is Bhairava who is beyond the senses and the mind, beyond al the categories of these instruments. From the point of view of the human mind, Shiva is most void.From the point of view of Reality, Shiva is most full, for Shiva is the source of al manifestation.Which brings us to the translation and practice of Dharana 9. Paul Reps wording is very much on the positive side, instead of letting go or getting less, he focuses on melting within and receiving more. Instead of rejecting outer form, we see that our goal is to absorb it. We find the source by letting ourselves really open up to it. In sight we see that once we surrender the object of our focus, we receive the object of our wishes. “Or, imagine the five-colored circles of the peacock tail to be your five senses in illimitable space. Now let their beauty melt within. Similarly, at any point in space or on a wall—until the point dissolves. Then your wish for another comes true.”

Immerse yourself in the transformative spirit of Ganesha as our Ashram resonates with the joyous celebrations that extend from personal realms to the universal. Delve into the symbolic journey through the story of Mushaka, Ganesha's mouse, illustrating the release of karmic obstacles and the surrender to Shakti's play, guiding us toward union with Shiva. Join us in expanding awareness beyond the five coverings, inspired by the wisdom of Ganesha and the transformative power of surrender. Om Gam Ganapataye Namah! The Mouse of the Mind: Embracing Ganesh through the Story of Mushaka It is that time of year - Ganesha pervades our Ashrams and pujas, our lives and is everywhere! The celebrations spread in a widening circle to envelop ourselves and our families, then our friends & relatives, next the people in our public lives, then the arts & artistes enriching our lives and finally, encompassing all beings in all Lokas. It feels like a wholesome practice expanding my awareness past five aspects of my karma - from the physical and personal to the subtle and Universal. These aspects are reminiscent of the five kanchukas in Kashmir Shaivism (or even the five koshas of Advaita) that limit the experience of Universal consciousness. The five heads of Ganesha seem to symbolize His help for the progress of my awareness through these five coverings. In our practices, we surrender to the play of Shakti (i.e., Parvati) which moves our ordinary awareness into union with Shiva (Universal consciousness). Ganesha’s energy helps the surrender by removing obstacles manifested in these karmic covers. The story of Ganesha’s vehicle, the mouse, illustrates the nature of these blocks. The story begins in Indra Loka where Krauncha was an accomplished celestial musician. His artistry however inflated his ego leading to pride and jealousy. He became miserly in praise of others, often absent when others performed or, preferred to sulk in the back or linger behind pillars in the hall. One day, Indra called on him to perform for the assembly of sages and Devas. As he sashayed to the dais, he thought he heard rapturous applause from sage Vamadeva on the way. In reality, however, he had stepped on the sage’s feet and the furious sage had cursed him “Enough of your false pretenses! May your outer form reflect your inner nature!” Krauncha was immediately transformed to a huge mountain-sized rodent to match the size of his pride! Why a rodent? It loves dark places and prefers corners and edges to open spaces which are seen as threatening or negative. Our pride is invisible to us and operates in the dark recesses of our mind, delighting in gossip and thriving on the failures of others. This negativity bias is a survival instinct that causes us to blame others when they reflect our limitations back to us. Back in the story, as the mouse-mountain moved, it trampled and destroyed the dwellings and all beings in its path. A desperate Indra ejected Krauncha from the heavens to the earth. Scurrying on earth, it destroyed forests, mountains, lakes, farms and families eventually reaching the Ashram of sage Parashara. Ganesha who was visiting the Ashram decided to end the rampage and collared the mouse with his lasso. This yanked the mouse off his feet and landed him, stunned, at Ganesha’s feet. The shock of the event flashed Krauncha’s behavior past his mind’s eye. He felt remorseful and begged Ganesha for forgiveness. Ganesha saw that Krauncha’s negative nature had dissolved. So he decided to employ Krauncha’s skills and talents and made him his vehicle. And, this is how Ganesha snagged a mouse for his ride. And like tiny mice, all kinds of thoughts scurry about the mind and pull it away from our practice. Unless we surrender them, we function from our mind and ego, much like Krauncha, the musician. This is the nature of the blocks manifest in our karmic coverings. As Babaji had said at a recent Satsang, ”… The Shakti will take you through every insecurity, every illusion, and every obstacle that exists in you, on the way to that state of perfection. You have to be willing to face it and move beyond all of it …” As we practice to expand our awareness past the five coverings, the Shakti will present our karma to us. Our heartfelt wish to grow draws Ganesha’s energy to all parts of our mind - through the smallest openings and darkest areas like riding a mouse! To help us surrender past the karmic blocks to union with Shiva. Om Gam Ganapataye Namah!

Embarking on the path to spiritual growth is often framed as a solemn endeavor, demanding ceaseless, mindful effort. But it doesn't have to be a burdensome task—instead, it can be a playful and invigorating journey that engages us fully in every minute of our existence. In a recent exchange with Sri Shambhavananda, the anecdotes about Paul Reps, the contemporary Zen master and compiler of Zen Flesh Zen Bones, were illuminating. Reps illustrates that continuous mindfulness can be pursued not just through disciplined practice, but also with a touch of lightheartedness and curiosity. As we delve Dharana 6, we'll explore how the wisdom of "every minute Zen" aligns with the ancient teachings of Shiva Sutra 2.3, which states that "pauseless effort brings attainment." Our spiritual journey, as it turns out, can be a seamless blend of focus, surrender, and even a bit of playfulness—enabling us to embody mindfulness in every moment. Eventually this work paves the way for our work with Dharana 5 & 6 from the Vijnana Bhairava, which focuses on entering the natural and uplifting flow of Shakti that permeates our Heart, our Shushumna, and even our daily lives. The tale of “Every Minute Zen” from Zen Flesh Zen Bones highlights the importance of unbroken mindfulness….”Zen Students  are with their masters at least ten years before they presume to teach others. Nan-in was visited by Tenno, who, having passed his apprenticeship, had become a teacher. The day happened to be rainy, so Tenno wore wooden clogs and carried an umbrella. After greeting him Nan-in remarked: “I suppose you left your wooden clogs in the vestibule. I want to know if your umbrella is on the right or left side of the clogs. Tenno, confused, had no instant answer. He realized that he was unable to carry his Zen every minute. He became Nan-in’s pupil, and he studied six more years to accomplish his every-minute Zen.” The story of every minute zen reminds us that we should be fully aware and present at all times. Paul Reps himself was known for his playful techniques to maintain mindfulness. For instance, a simple action like switching a bracelet you wear everyday from one wrist to the other could serve as a practice to be more present. The teaching here is, perhaps, that being fully present is equal parts discipline and creativity. It requires us to be committed but also to maintain a sense of playfulness. As Reps once described it, “serious play”— our everyday play of being present. I recently had the chance to ask Babaji about pauseless presence in Monday Night Satsang. His guidance was that one can't force themselves to be continuously present; one needs to be relaxed and in tune with the flow of the moment in order to really experience the present. This mirrors the commonly used motto in high-stakes professions: "Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast”— that is, we have to relax and slow down if we are ever going to rise up to the real heights of any discipline. Paul Reps emphasized the same idea in his poem, "Smooth Motion Cures Commotion," suggesting that when we move smooth we not only heal ourselves but even those around us, “If the world ship sinks will you save it,” Reps writes, “Yes you will, move smooth.” Shiva Sutra 2.3 also reflects this, teaching that “Pauseless effort brings attainment”, meaning that practicing with continuity is one of our greatest assets in our practice. How do we achieve continuity, and thus the rewards of it? Slow down and smooth out our effort, and let the rest come naturally. A metaphor that Babaji often uses is that of digging a well— if you are steady and stick with it, eventually the rewards will rush up to meet you in a natural and sustainable manner. About a year and a half ago, Babaji advised the sangha to ‘slow down’ in their daily practice. One example of this is that of ‘over-breathing' when meditating on the breath, leading to hyperventilation and nervous system imbalances. Babaji recommended gentler breathing patterns and a focus on heart-centered meditation. For much of the sangha this was a rejuvenating experience, much our current Dharana is describing—Slowing down and smoothing out their practice allowed them to feel the natural energy and power that is radiating from within them all the time. Which brings us to the heart of our current Dharana. Dharana 6 of the Vijnana Bhairava guides us to focus on the lightning-like upsurge of shakti in the spine. Reaching directly for this level of experience could be like trying to move fast without first moving slow and smooth— either it is ineffective, or could cause imbalance. For this reason, the commentary on the Dharana urges us to take our time to ground our awareness, and allow the upsurge to come slowly and naturally. The take away here is that our work isn’t to push or pull energy, but to calm our mind and body deeply, bring our attention low into our base and allow the exhale to be a natural expression of this upward flowing energy. If done consciously, this experience should help us feel more grounded and present, as opposed to our energy flowing up into our heads and thoughts. It should be noted that the upsurge of Kundalini energy discussed in this chapter is also described as an expansion of the heart center. This means that we can also practice this lightning like expansion in our hearts as we exhale, which may be more in line with your daily practice. I found this parallel to be extremely beneficial in unlocking the teachings that Babaji has been describing over the past couple of years— the effortless expansion of our hearts during the exhale. This level of experience can only be truly felt when the mind is calm and the body is relaxed. So, let's take a moment to engage with Dharana 6. As Babaji has been guiding us, try applying this focus to your heart first, and then taking your time to bring the awareness down to your base before feeling the lightning like energy of the spine.Dharana 5 & 6 from the Vijnana Bhairava, Paul Reps Translation“Consider your essence as light rays rising from center to center up the vertebrae, and so rises livingness in you. // Or in the spaces between, feel this as lightning.”

This class will deepen your connection to deity Vishnu through stories and new perspectives, kirtan, and meditation.

This class reflects further on Vijnana Bhairava Dharana 5 through discussion, free writing, and meditation.

This pressure or density is not only natural, but good for us. When diving underwater in the physical world, our body recognizes the pressure and slows down our heart rate, shifting our nervous system down towards a more restful and rejuvenating state. The pressure is also good for our lungs. In our subtle bodies when meditating there is a very similar experience, when we go inside our heart rate slows down and our nervous system down shifts. And similar to the water, there is a natural tendency to bob like a buoy in our heads all day long, staying at the surface, and it takes a certain kind of work to actually go deep within ourselves. And like water, we do this in small sessions— we don’t need to live underwater, we just need to practice going there over and over again. In fact, it is teh repetition that is the source of our depth, “Inserting the spark of awareness and letting it fade” as Shiva Sutra —- teaches. It is Effort over time, as Rudi teaches, that yields real growth. The pressure of this dive within ourselves is unique, subtle. I hope that by discussing this pressure it does not lead to any expectations of pressure and thus doership. Instead I hope that by discussion this subtle pressure that we feel when we go inside it helps us actually feel our experience more clearly, and interact with it more personally. Because, as Babaji has been teaching steadfastly for quite a while, we so often get attached to the technique and artificial goals in our practice, such as “how deep we are diving”, or  “how long we can hold our breath” to keep with the analogy, and we not only miss the point of our practice, but we miss the experience, and thus also miss the growth. Technique is here to guide us to the present, to our direct experience, to our state of being— that is what I hope this discussion does for you.  Because it doesn’t matter how deep you dive within yourself— its the pressure itself that is beneficial, the actual experience of going inside and working with that experience— and when you can shift your awareness from the ‘depth’ to the ‘experience’, every depth becomes more beneficial, sustainable and interactive. We are diving into the heart to interact with the experience, not to be done with the experience. As teh Sutras say, it is a subjective experience, not objective— meaning it is meant to be happening to you in the state you are in today, within the context of your life right now. We are each meant to really experience the process of going inside every time we do it, not to simply go through the motions like watching a TV show while you walk 3 miles on a treadmill. This is why it is beneficial to pay attention to the experience rather than focus on the destination— the experience is where the growth is. The subtle pressure that exists within us, that we slowly but surely breathe through, is the source of the healing— it doesn’t matter the depth or the time spent underwater/inside, it matters how much you are absorbing and participating in the experience. It Which brings us to the second half of the Dharana, the rising up. Diving down is the work, rising up is the serenity. In the water, diving down is effort, you not only have to actively swim against the natural buoyancy of the ocean, you have to stop every few kicks to actively clear your ears, and this process continues every few feet. At a certain point you stop and allow yourself to rise up slowly. There is no need to kick here, or even clear your ears, you simply rise up and expand to the surface. In our practice it is the same. The work of going inside takes time and effort, we work with the experience directly and gradually, and let it work on us. And eventually there comes a time to allow ourselves to rise up and expand naturally. In the big picture one could say this is the moment of our Kundalini rising up the spine to the crown chakra. If we zoom out even further, this could be said to be the description of enlightenment itself, a gradual rising up that takes place over liftetimes of Sadhana. From a more zoomed in perspective, this could also be referring to the latter half of the circular breath, wherein our attention rises up the spine. Or in an even more localized way, and the way we have been instructed to work more and more these days by our teacher, this is referring to the subtle expansion that takes place in the heart on each exhale. For the past year or so, Babaji has been emphasizing the practice of bringing our attention to the heart with our inhale, and then allowing the heart to expand with the exhale. The expansion that takes place in the heart is subtle, and happens gradually. When letting one’s self rise up from a decent depth underwater, it can often feel slow, or even impreceptible, compared to the effort one expels to dive down. But again, if we pay attention to the experience itself as we did when we dove down into the heart, there will be plenty to feel. For me, I was expelling too much effort in the expansion of the heart and missing the experience altogether— but when I thought of it like rising up from under water, I let go and actually felt what was happening. So this analogy was a bit of a breakthrough for my personal practice, helping me use a natural physical experience to better understand a natural subtle experience. From where you’re sitting, let your eyes close and turn your attention within. This initial turn already initiates the healing process, and you can feel the subtle shift. This is almost like the shift of being in water versus being on land, there’s a buoyancy in side, an ebb and flow like rising and falling currents. Breathe in through the third eye, and towards the base of the throat. Feel this slight shift in internal pressure, there’s a density being approached, like the density of water just a few feet under the surface. Instead of trying to go past the density you encounter, feel it. Absorb that healing pressure, let it do its work. Swallow to relieve the pressure in the throat, almost like cleaning your ears, and feel the path to the heart open up. This is the practice we have been working on with Babaji for a while now. The path to the heart. Notice the experience of getting to the heart with your breath— feel the subtle density that you encounter and work with it. That density is why we are meditating, it is literally what we are breathing through. With each inhale we can bring our awareness towards the heart, embracing the subtle hug of pressure that may exist there, and as we exhale we expand our experience in the heart in a different way. 

This class will help you deepen your connection to goddess Parvati, followed by kirtan and meditation.

In this Teaching Moments episode, Sangha member Arati and Satyam discuss their experiences of finding refuge in the heart, our meditation practice, and the sangha.Arati: Talking about my practice is not something I’m very familiar with…I feel like I am still trying to learn, understand, and feel for what it means to have a spiritual practice. The talks that the sangha members gave at the intensive really resonated and inspired me to try and open up as I could relate to a lot of what they talked about and how they used their practice during rough times.The last couple of years have been very turbulent for me and I can’t say I’m totally on the other side so a lot of my experience is still current. A 10 year marriage ended and with it took a lot of people I considered family, I lost my house and most of my belongings, I left a job that I worked really hard to get to where I was and with all that change…so much else was shaken up and lost. It felt like my entire world and what I relied on for stability, security, safety, and comfort was all pulled out from underneath me in a blink of an eye. It felt so quick that I didn’t know who I was anymore. When people would ask me how I felt..it felt like I was jello, in the in-between…it was so scary and uncomfortable. Early on when these changes started happening, I went to Shoshoni for a weekend training with Satyam and Abhaya and when I returned to the east coast, I signed up for an online yoga teacher training with them. During that training, everything was falling apart and it was so hard for me to show up for those classes let alone meditate on my own each day. But ever since I connected to this practice, it’s been there for me when I didn't know what else to do.I had always dreamed of going to India and what better of a time than when you’ve lost everything? And because I have this practice and have been warned over and over throughout the years…I knew I wasn’t going to find anything out there to solve my problems or the key to my happiness but staying or going was equally tough. So I left my job and went on a big adventure with my new partner. I was traveling the world and in a newish relationship and although I’m so grateful for both of these experiences, after having my life dismantled, it definitely wasn’t a vacation.I won’t go too much into my traveling and it did strengthen my gratitude for these teachings and for Babaji but I also went through a lot more discomfort on so many different levels. Because of the state I was in internally, the chaos, uncertainty, and unfamiliarity all around me was so challenging physically, emotionally, and mentally. I kept making a (small) effort to do my practice but I have been exhausted by life and my mind felt like it was torturing me when I would sit to meditate. Still feeling pretty lost, I reluctantly reached out to Abhaya and asked about spending some time at Konalani.On the Big Island there is a place called the city of refuge where, in ancient Hawaiian times, if you committed a crime and you made it to this point, you would be absolved of your punishment, which was typically death. That sounds pretty extreme and I wasn’t running from a crime but even though I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, getting myself to the ashram felt like making it to my own place of refuge.I was right, it hasn’t been easy. Being at the ashram is not an escape from any of your problems and most days, they are highlighted for me. But I’ve been able to get some clarity and reconnect to my practice in a big way. I have a reason to wake up each morning and am committed to doing my practice each day no matter what. I’ve got a place to sleep, food to eat, work to do each day and the support of the sangha. When I have to face my stuff - feeling lost, confused, disoriented, sad, overwhelmed - I can be in the flow of the ashram and I can remember that I am here to do this work.My idea of a refuge has really deepened during my time here. I asked Babaji how I should work while I am here and he said to stay centered and when I feel myself getting drawn out to come back. He’s also pulled me aside during seva and told me to stop worrying and that I need to relax. I’ve always liked Babaji’s surfing references because I surf a little bit and I found this quote where he said: “It is a lot like surfing: there is a wave of energy causing the transformation in your life. Your job is to keep centered and to keep your balance. That means you don’t go to extremes mentally and emotionally. You don’t get overly excited or overly conservative. Try to stay centered and balanced.”It’s been hard for me to find this state of being centered and balanced because my mind really wants to analyze all the loss and feel all the emotions over and over. It hit me during a movie yoga night when there was a really intense scene happening and I could feel myself getting pulled into the drama, feeling the anxiety and anticipating what was coming. Babaji told us all to take a breath and in that moment, I released the grip on the scene and felt a sense of relief and peace inside. It was so easy to realize that the movie was separate from me and the emotions I was feeling weren’t me. It made me wonder what if surrendering my own stuff was that easy? I truly want to experience my inner self as a place of refuge that’s always with me and can’t be taken away. So, I’ve really been trying to connect to this place inside and cultivate my inner refuge while I am meditating, while I am doing seva, and everywhere in between by recognizing that I am feeling heavy, tight, anxious or having negative thoughts and drawing my attention inside, relaxing, and allowing there to be calm.  In Spiritual Practice, Babaji says: “What we are looking for when we meditate is peace of mind. Peace is the most incredibly valuable thing in the whole universe. Our minds are always active. They try to define us through our experiences.Though that may be useful to a degree, it is not the truth. The truth of who we are and what we are lies beyond the chatter and the noise of our minds. When we move beyond the chatter we will find clarity and a real sense of being present. We will begin to have a deeper understanding of our existence.” I am so grateful to have an actual place of refuge to go to and for the support I’ve received over the years and especially recently. It’s helped me prioritize my practice and start to feel my feet on the ground again. Mostly, it has helped me feel a glimpse of my inner self that is beyond the chatter, beyond anything external, so that I can feel safe, secure, and at peace no matter what.Satyam:A line that really stuck with me from Arati’s presentation was “I truly want to experience my Inner Self as a place of refuge that’s always with me and can’t be taken away”… I do too, and I’m sure you do as well. As she taught, We have a place of refuge in our hearts, a place we can go to at any time to dissolve the obscurations of daily life. But like the place of refuge here in Hawaii, It takes effort to get there, and effort to remain there, but no matter how much effort it takes what’s most important is that it really is there. And as Arati taught, we can find refuge in our practice if we are willing to seek it out throughout our daily practices, tasks and activities. We have to find refuge in each repetition of the mantra, each weed we pull, each breath we take, each dish we wash, each posture we practice... In classic non-dual understanding, the place of refuge is only revealed to those willing to walk with refuge. As the Shiva Sutras put it, ‘the path is only revealed to the revealer’— the path to the place of refuge is only revealed to those who are seeking refuge in their path. This unique effort is of course nothing new, but a foundational topic in every practice. How do perform mantra in a way that leads us to its place of refuge? We can’t yell the mantra, or do them faster, to accelerate the process— we start from where we’re at, and work our way from the vibration in the mouth, to the throat to the heart. The same goes for the breath— you can’t just jump into breath awareness, the mind pushes and pulls it immediately. You have to lengthen and smooth out the breath, and then slowly but surely release that effort and arrive at the experience of refuge in breath awareness. Swami Rudrananda always taught that the WIsh to Grow practice begins at a superficial level, none of us mean it at first, but we simply repeat each repetition with a little more sincerity, and eventually we arrive. The topic of refuge inspires a deeper appreciation for how we practice, not just what we practice, which has been at the forefront of Babaji’s teaching over the past year and a half. When he says we need to learn to relax as we practice, in my opinion this doesn’t mean we relax and then practice, as if they are two separate things, but that we learn how to use our practice to help us relax, that we use our practice not to blow up our karma, but release ourselves from it. Babaji recently used the analogy of dropping something out of your hand as a way of understanding surrender— when you use each mantra as a way to release, each breath as a way to release, then you become released. This is what the topic of refuge means to me, and how it has opened up my practice. So let’s take time to walk through our practice with refuge and see if the path to the place of refuge in our hearts naturally unfolds for us step by step.