a (not so helpful) guide to heartbreak

Ending one chapter and beginning another is so scary, but honestly I just feel so lucky to have gotten to experience it at all.

This audio diary was recorded back in late October right in the middle of midterm season. After the initial shock of moving to a different country, I'm grappling with feeling different from the people around me in ways I attempt (but maybe don't succeed) to articulate in this episode.

In this episode I review Black Cake by Charmaine Wilkerson which is a story filled with secrets upon secrets, showcasing that most times, even the people closest to us can feel as unrecognizable as strangers.

This episode is a brutally honest audio diary with reflections on my first few weeks living abroad in Scotland. There have been beautiful sights to see and tears cried on random benches. But overall, I'm so excited to see where life takes me. video version: https://youtu.be/t-1V9e83KXE

It took me six months to come to terms with the fact that I was being sexually harassed. It's something that can be ambiguous to the point where victim blaming becomes commonplace and the perpetrator can never truly face consequences that satisfy anyone. It left me with a bitter taste in my mouth that I'm still processing to this day and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever truly recover from it or if it will be a trauma I carry with me forever. TW: descriptions of harassment

In this episode I talk about the nuances of heart break and the impact it can have on your daily life. Sometimes I'm not sure if I should be sad that it's over but glad that it happened or if I should be sad that it happened but glad that it's over.

Even when life feels bleak there's always more out there for you to experience. Life has a lot left in store for you. And even if you don't understand when or how you'll get there, I know that you'll understand in the end.

In this episode, I'm reviewing Lightlark by Alex Aster and having a great time doing it. I missed reading fantasy books lately and this book definitely did not disappoint. It made me spiral emotionally and maybe even reginited my trust issues but it was so worth it.

I got my heartbroken and I don't know what to do about it. But I'm figuring it out I think, very clumsily, but forward progress is better than no progress at all.

In this episode I'm taken on a rollercoaster of happy, sad, angry emotions as I review Such A Fun Age by Kiley Reid. In this book chock full of racial undertones and complicated relationships, I find myself empathizing with the experiences of another lost and confused young black woman.