From ‘What’s Wrong With You?’ to ‘What Happened to You?’: Louise Rellis on Youth Trauma and Resilience

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. "When we operate from a 'fight' mentality, we are keeping our nervous system in a state of high alert. True healing begins when we move from combat to curiosity." - Kristin Grayce McGaryDiscover how to break free from unconscious childhood patterns and transition from a "fight" mentality to a healing mindset with holistic health expert Kristin Grayce McGary. Learn how integrating emotional awareness with functional medicine can build lasting resilience and transform your physical well-being.Are the survival strategies you developed as a child actually sabotaging your health and happiness today?Key Takeaway Insights and ToolsThe "Whole Person" Diagnostic Approach: Health is not merely the absence of symptoms but the alignment of biochemistry and emotional history. By observing body language and micro-expressions, we can uncover hidden blocks that lab tests might miss. [00:12:30]Deconstructing Childhood Survival Patterns: Many adult habits in relationships and work are actually outdated "safety" mechanisms formed in childhood. Bringing these into conscious awareness allows you to choose which patterns to keep and which to discard. [00:22:15]The Biology of "Fighting" vs. Nurturing: Using combative language (like "fighting" a disease) can create a biologically detrimental stress response. Shifting the focus toward moving toward health rather than resisting illnesscreates an internal environment more conducive to recovery. [00:35:45]Tool: The "Pause and Assess" Strategy: A practical method for building resilience by stopping to evaluate whether your current motivations are driven by past trauma or present-day values. [00:48:20]BioKristin Grayce McGary (LAc., MAc., CFMP®, CST-T, CLP) is an internationally recognised health and lifestyle author, and speaker. She weaves together 29 years of experience, education, wisdom, and compassion to empower you to reconnect, reawaken, and rejuvenate on all levelsShe is an authority on autoimmunity, functional blood chemistry analysis, thyroid and gut health, family healthcare, food as medicine, biohacking techniques, integrating mind/body/spirit in health & soulcare, Authentic Relating practices, and is initiated into several lineages of shamanic practices.She is the author of Holistic Keto for Gut Health: A Program for Resetting your Metabolism and Know Your Blood, Know Your Health; Prevent Disease and Enjoy Vibrant Health Through Functional Blood Chemistry Analysis. Her upcoming book is on Blocks to Healing and how to resolve them quickly.Website:  https://kristingraycemcgary.com/Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/kristingraycemcgaryFacebook:  https://www.facebook.com/inspiredpositivehealthInstagram:  https://www.instagram.com/kristingraycemcgary/Subscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform to ensure you never miss an episode focused on deep personal transformation and holistic resilience.Content WarningThis episode contains discussions regarding chronic illness,Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. “The nervous system runs the show, even when you think you’re in control.” - Louise RellisIn this episode, I speak with Louise Rellis, founder of the ANAM Rural Youth Association, about providing vital mental health support to marginalized youth in Alberta. We discuss the effects of trauma on behavior and practical strategies for emotional regulation, including informal conversation techniques that create a safe space for youth to express themselves.Louise emphasizes the importance of community and the role of compassionate adults in fostering resilience. We explore accessible explanations of polyvagal theory and share stories of hope and transformation through trauma-informed care. This conversation highlights the need for understanding and support to empower young people to overcome challenges and thrive.BIOLouise Rellis is the Founder and Executive Director of Anam Rural Youth Association, a mobile, trauma-integrated support service for marginalized, at-risk and systen-disconnected youth and young adults across Central Alberta. Through Anam, she meets young people where they are-literally and emotionally-removing access barriers and providing one-on-one trauma-integrated care. Anam’s work is grounded in the belief that every young person deserves to recognize their worth and potential, especially those who have been disconnected from traditional systems.Louise is also the founder of Mt. Leinster Consulting, where she provides a non-clinical mental health support for adults who haven’t found success in conventional settings. Her consulting work includes community and workplace traumatology, trauma-integrated workshops, and organizational support rooted in Polyvagal Theory and lived experience.Known for her direct, practical, and deeply human approach, Louise challenges the diluted, buzzword version of “trauma-informed” care and instead champions trauma-integrated practice-an approach that assumes trauma is present and shapes every element of how support is delivered.Her work has been recognised for advancing equitable access to mental health support and amplifying the voices of youth often invisible in traditional research and service design.LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/louise-rellis-017a77110/Website:  https://mountleinsterconsulting.ca/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anamruralyouth/Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/anamruralyouth/  Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. "Thinking feels heavier, not because the task is complex, but because the space required to think has become crowded."Struggling to finish simple tasks? Learn about the "Clarity Tax"—the hidden cognitive cost of overthinking and decision fatigue—and discover a three-step micro-reset to reclaim your mental focus and emotional steadiness.Why do straightforward tasks like writing a short email sometimes feel impossibly heavy, even when you aren't "busy"?Key Takeaway Insights and ToolsThe "Clarity Tax" Defined: Mental fatigue is cumulative; it is the "tax" paid for constant task-switching, micro-decisions, and sensory input that fragments attention and overloads working memory. [00:01:59]The Loop of Overthinking: Overthinking isn't just rumination; it manifests as "cognitive loops"—rewriting sentences or second-guessing finished decisions—which physically crowd the mental workspace required for problem-solving. [00:03:05]The Warning Signs of Cognitive Load: When the "tax" becomes too high, accuracy slips, emotional reactivity increases (irritation over small things), and strategic thinking narrows to the "easiest" familiar solution. [00:06:00]The 40-Second Micro-Rest Tool: A physiological "downshifting" of the nervous system—such as a slow exhale or closing your eyes—that restores cognitive clarity in under a minute. [00:08:59]The 3-Step Mental Reset ProtocolWhen the "internal fog" settles in, use this sequence to clear your mental browser:Identify ONE Next Step: Stop trying to solve the whole project; find the single immediate action to give the brain one target instead of many.Externalize the Clutter: Write down everything else pulling at your attention. Once thoughts live on paper, they stop occupying "RAM" in your working memory.The Physiological Pause: Take a micro-rest (stretch, walk, or deep breath) to reset your nervous system's gear.Call to ActionShare this episode with a colleague or friend who is feeling the weight of "decision fatigue" to help them reclaim their clarity.Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. Are you leading with clarity and structure—or are you unintentionally relying too much on inspiration or too much on systems?Discover how balancing meaning and mechanism—the “poet and the plumber”—can improve your leadership, strengthen your routines, and increase follow-through. This episode breaks down practical tools, including the pre-mortem, to help you align purpose with process at work and in your personal projects.Key Takeaway Insights & Tools Leadership requires balancing meaning (poet) and mechanism (plumber).When one dominates, progress stalls—ideas lack structure or systems lack purpose. (00:00:59–00:02:08)The poet creates clarity of purpose so people understand why their work matters.This role provides coherence and direction, shaping judgment and prioritization. (00:03:06–00:04:31)The plumber ensures systems, routines, and expectations actually support the stated purpose.When plumbing contradicts narrative, engagement drops and friction increases. (00:04:31–00:06:25)Imbalance leads to predictable failure: meaning without structure remains theoretical; structure without meaning becomes hollow.Two common leadership traps are inspirational intent with no systems—or rigid systems with no unifying purpose. (00:06:25–00:08:19)The pre-mortem is a practical tool that integrates meaning and mechanism.By imagining success and failure before execution, teams reveal risks, responsibilities, and alignment issues early. (00:09:03–00:10:34)Tools discussed:Pre-mortem exerciseSuccess/Failure split-team analysisDiagnostic questions: “Why?” for poetry, “How?” for plumbing (00:14:31–00:15:53)Personal leadership also depends on poet–plumber balance.Define why something matters before building habits, routines, or time blocks around it. (00:12:29–00:13:46)Books Mentioned:On Leadership — James G. MarchThe Friction Project: How Smart Leaders Make the Right Things Easier and the Wrong Things Harder — Robert Sutton & Huggy RaoIf you found this episode valuable, share it with someone who would benefit from strengthening their leadership or personal discipline.Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. SDasdSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. sfseFDSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. “Protecting your time isn’t selfish — it’s self-respect in action.”Do you ever say yes when every part of you wants to say no — and walk away wondering why you agreed in the first place?Learn how to say no without guilt or apology. In this solo episode, Jason Lim explores the psychology of boundaries, how over-agreeing drains our energy, and how clear, values-based decisions protect focus, time, and peace of mind.Key Takeaway Insights & ToolsEvery “No” Protects a “Yes” (03:19)Clarity about what truly matters is the foundation of boundaries. Every time you say no to what’s meaningless, you’re actually saying yes to what’s essential — your family, focus, or health.Tool: Write down your top three priorities for the week and use them as a filter for new requests.Do a Time Audit (05:03)We underestimate how much time “just one call” or “just a few minutes” consumes. Learn to ask not “Can I fit this in?” but “What will I have to give up to make room for it?”Tool: Track your week to see where attention leaks occur and replace “I’m sorry” with “I don’t have the bandwidth to give this the attention it deserves.”Assertive Communication (06:52)Boundaries falter not from lack of words, but lack of permission. Say what you mean, stop over-explaining, and let silence reinforce your certainty.Practice: Record yourself saying, “Thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t take that on right now.” Play it back until it sounds calm and grounded.Boundaries Build Trust (08:03)Boundaries aren’t walls — they’re agreements about respect. When you set limits early and consistently, you become more predictable, reliable, and respected.Example: “I’ve started keeping my mornings clear for deeper work, so I’m not available before nine.”Delegate to Empower, Not Escape (10:45)Saying no doesn’t mean shutting people out. It means redirecting requests to where they belong and letting others grow.Tool: For one request this week that doesn’t require you, delegate it. Notice that the world doesn’t fall apart — it expands.Saying “No” Is a Practice (11:26)The discomfort and guilt you feel when you start saying no isn’t a signal of wrongdoing — it’s a sign of change. Over time, this habit sharpens focus and gives your “yes” real weight.Reflection: When a new request arrives, pause and ask:Does this align with what matters?Do I have time and energy for it?What will it replace if I agree?If this episode helped you reclaim a bit of peace or perspective, share it with someone who struggles to say no. Subscribe to It’s an Inside Job on your favorite podcast platform, and keep building resilience — one boundary at a time.Host BioJason Birkevold Liem is a resilience coach, leadership consultant, and host of It’s an Inside Job, a podcast exploring the science and psychology behind resilience, well-being, and self-leadership. Through practical strategies and candid storytelling, Jason helps leaders and professionals strengthen their mental and emotional fitness.Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. “Resilient people don’t let past investment dictate future choices. They measure value by direction, not duration.”What would you walk away from today if you weren’t busy trying to justify the time, money, and effort you’ve already spent?In this solo episode of Seeing Sideways, I unpack the Sunk Cost fallacy and how it quietly sabotages decisions in your work, relationships, and goals. You’ll learn practical ways to let go of draining commitments so you can choose more clearly, protect your energy, and build resilient self-leadership in a noisy world.Key Takeaway Insights and Tools (Bullet Points with Timestamps)[00:01:07] Decision-making in a noisy worldI introduce Part Three of Seeing Sideways, exploring how cognitive biases distort our judgment in an information-heavy, opinion-saturated world and why awareness is the first step toward clearer decisions.[00:03:38] What the sunk cost fallacy actually isI explain how the sunk cost fallacy keeps us clinging to plans, projects, and relationships purely because we’ve already invested time, money, or effort—even when walking away would serve us better.[00:04:58] Everyday examples: concerts, relationships, and leadershipThrough real-life illustrations—from staying at a bad concert to remaining in draining relationships or funding failing projects—I show how this bias leads us to “throw good energy after bad” instead of cutting our losses.[00:06:02] Why the sunk cost fallacy once helped us surviveI explore the evolutionary roots of this bias: in resource-scarce environments, sticking with hard-won investments made sense, but in modern life it often deepens financial, emotional, and mental losses instead of protecting us.[00:08:24] The real cost: stagnation and missed growthI break down how the sunk cost fallacy creates stagnation, locking us into regret and frustration, and how it stops us from reassessing, learning, and moving toward better opportunities.Share this episode with one person who you know is struggling to walk away from a draining project, role, or relationship—they may need to hear that letting go can be a strategic move, not a failure.Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday