getting it together, together

Halley and Jaz are back behind the mics, and this week’s episode is giving full chaotic bestie energy. what starts as a tiny texting disagreement spirals into a hilarious deep dive on friendship etiquette, unread messages, and why “one sec” almost never means one second. if you’ve ever wanted to scream at your friends through the phone, you’re going to feel very seen.but of course, it wouldn’t be Delusional Diaries without some unhinged detours. between questionable snack choices, roommate horror stories, and a rant or two about unsolicited opinions, the girls manage to turn even the most random topics into comedy gold. somewhere in the middle of the chaos, there are moments of raw honesty about health, moods, and how to stay sane when life insists on being annoying.by the end, you’ll feel like you’ve been on FaceTime with your two funniest (and most brutally honest) friends. from pop culture hot takes to delusional rants that will have you laughing out loud, this episode is messy, dramatic, and exactly the kind of therapy session you didn’t know you needed. buckle up, press play, and enjoy.Timestamps0:16 - Jaz has been annoying Halley3:52 - Jaz’s bitching hour 5:25 - The lunch on everyone's FYP10:12 - What is Halley so excited about 20:19 - Tate McCrae concert 22:11 - Pop culture couples36:22 - Our overweight dogs 45:43 - The question we always getLinks DraftKings: Download the app and use code DIARIES Nuuly: Sign up with code DELUSIONAL to get $28 off your first month SeatGeek: Use code DELUSIONAL10 for 10% off your tickets Wayfair: https://www.wayfair.com/ZocDoc: http://Zocdoc.com/diaries  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

your favorite duo is back this week: Halley and Jaz dive straight into the week’s wildest headline, Taylor and Travis are officially engaged. the two spiral into full-on parasocial mode, breaking down everything from the shock of a collab post announcement to imagining what the wedding guest list and security would even look like. Jaz jokes about becoming a bodyguard, Halley debates whether it will be a mega-celebrity event or a secret ceremony, and both of them can’t help but laugh at just how invested they’ve become in a couple they’ve never met.from there, the conversation flows into a whirlwind of personal updates. Jaz vents about the chaos of her home renovations, accidentally sending the most questionable texts to her contractor, and realizing just how much fences cost in Long Island. health takes center stage as well as Halley navigates her workout routine and spray tan obsession, and as the two debate TikTok’s “pale girl exposure therapy” trend, listeners get a raw and hilarious look at how they balance wellness, vanity, and everything in between.as always, the episode is packed with their signature hilarious banter. they go off about awkward gynecologist appointments, friendship trio politics when it comes to picking a maid of honor, a specific chaotic experience at a bathhouse that ended in no massage, and the bizarre etiquette breaches they’ve witnessed at influencer events like the US Open. add in puppy potty-training wins and the iconic story of Halley accidentally doubting herself about James Marsden literally living across the street, and you’ve got a jam-packed episode full of laughter, relatability, and the kind of storytelling only Halley and Jaz can deliver.Timestamps 0:18 - Celebrating the royal engagement6:34 - Halley’s health updates13:20 - Pale girl exposure therapy 18:17 - Gyno appointments and drinking water22:35 - Maid of honor controversy 26:40 - Haircuts and husbands 29:46 - “Not looking for a husband, but looking for a father”35:19 - Stacy updates 40:29 - Providing context  45:53 - The US OpenLinks DraftKings: Download the app and sign up with code DELUSIONALSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Halley and Jaz are back this week with a jam-packed episode that swings from fair food to full-on meltdowns. Jaz shares her whirlwind trip to Alaska for the state fair, complete with nostalgia, fried food, and accidentally getting the best sleep of her life in a bunk bed. meanwhile, the two catch up on home life, debating bed sizes, dogs hogging the sheets, and how to actually get a night of rest in New York City.the conversation takes a raw turn when Halley opens up about her ulcerative colitis and recent colonoscopy. from the stress of prepping, to her full-blown panic at the hospital, to adjusting to new medications, she doesn’t hold back about how draining chronic illness can be. Jaz balances things out with her never-ending food cravings, late-night kitchen raids, and even considering Ozempic just to quiet the “food noise.”also, the girls spiral over Camp Rock versus Camp Star, rant about bizarre internet drama, Jaz’s dog’s very unfortunate medical moment, and of course dive into Taylor Swift theories and the very infamous podcast appearance. this episode is chaotic, it’s candid, and it’s exactly the kind of unfiltered girl talk you come here for every week.Timestamps0:18 - Jet lagged and our trip to Madrid 6:06 - Alaska State Fair 9:45 - Loves a frozen face 15:09 - Halley’s health updates 34:31 - The girl who fell in love with her psychiatrist36:01 - The food noise 38:47 - What happened to Frank42:10 - Camp Rock: The Final Jam46:58 - The Life of a ShowgirlLinksSeatGeek: Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/DELUSIONAL10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $20 discountGourmand Beauty; Delusional10 for 10% off your order https://www.gourmandbeauty.com/?srsltid=AfmBOoo99sl3FDzLjvj-aJ_UORzzdaxXkOk8eD1uR6aalqo0yChup-3wSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz kick things off with a hilarious deep dive into Halley’s ongoing coffee conspiracy. After her viral latte video, she’s convinced her local shop is purposely sabotaging her order: burnt espresso, missing flavors, the works. from Uber Eats hacks to wondering if the baristas secretly hate her, it’s a full caffeine-fueled saga that sets the tone for the episode’s blend of comedy and chaos.the conversation spirals into astrology, creative burnout, and a bit of a look into the realities of influencer life. the girls get real about how nonstop travel, brand deals, and constant pressure to create can drain inspiration, while also reflecting on how much their lives have evolved since they started. they open up about balancing relationships, fighting scarcity mindsets, and handling criticism from people who say they’ve “changed.” it’s like something inbetween a vent session and candid insight into what it’s really like behind the curated feeds.to wrap things up, they switch gears with nostalgic back-to-school memories, playground favorites, and even the rise and fall of silly bandz and Webkinz. plus, they answer a listener dilemma about guy best friends crossing the line and imagine the ultimate “day from hell” itinerary in New York City. from childhood flashbacks to savage hypotheticals, this episode is messy, unfiltered, and oh-so Delusional Diaries.Timestamps 0:24 - Salted Tahini Latte Drama3:52 - Our August Horoscopes, busy lives, and thoughts on influencer marketing 21:56 - Back to school 34:57 - SillyBandz & our favorite trends from school41:46 - A question from our listener 43:04 - A NYC day from Hell See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz take you through a whirlwind of updates, laughs, and a little chaos. from Jaz’s candid talk about body changes and jean sizes to Halley’s Montauk staycation complete with beach views, shark sightings, and wild Hampton crowds, they share all their recent shenanigans… they also share why their Costa Rica trip got canceled, swap stories about festival life, Jaz fresh from Lollapalooza, and break down the extremes fans go to for barricade spots. between packed coffee shop lines, overpriced party tickets, and Surf Lodge’s impossible entry rules, the girls keep it real about what’s worth the hype and what’s not.the episode then dives into the realities of influencer life, as they discuss why people hold creators to a higher standard than their own friends and the bizarre nitpicks that show up in comment sections. from defending a lighthearted dog joke to tackling the “no benefit of the doubt” culture online, Halley and Jaz aren’t afraid to call out the double standards they face. they also touch on messy friendship politics: like suddenly seeing your ex-friend post with someone they used to trash...of course, it wouldn’t be Delusional Diaries without a crash-out rant or two. Jaz unleashes on West Elm’s customer service nightmare, and her newest addition to her family. there’s also talk of vision checks without insurance, LASIK horror and success stories, and mutual squeamishness over needles. it’s a full ride of personal drama, lighthearted banter, and the kind of unfiltered storytelling that makes you feel like you’re in the room with them!Timestamps0:24 - Jaz’s new info 2:38 - The Hamptons this summer 10:49 - All things music festivals 14:20 - Back to Alaska 17:30 - Holding influencers to a higher standard than your own friends?22:50 - Posting your 7th grade opp on your Instagram story? 24:22 - Bitching hour 38:27 - Jaz’s biggest crashout of all timeLinks SeatGeek: Use code delusional10 for 10% off your next SeatGeek order https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/DELUSIONAL10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $20 discountSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

if you’ve ever felt like you’re one meltdown away from a wellness era or two iced coffees into a spiral, this episode is going to be your comfort zone. Delusional Diaries returns with the kind of unfiltered conversations that cover everything from habit-building and hot girl workouts to that deeply relatable sense of “i’m trying, but also… i’m tired.” it’s less self-improvement and more self-awareness (with a side of Diet Coke).Halley & Jaz get real about the intersection of health, stress, and identity, peeling back the curtain on what it’s like to navigate chronic illness while keeping up appearances. there’s talk of gut issues, liquid diets, and the emotional toll of feeling “off” in a world that expects you to be on. but somehow, it’s still funny, because vulnerability and sarcasm go hand in hand here.and naturally, things derail in the best way: from irrational fears (reborn dolls, anyone?) to the politics of bridesmaid dresses, twins, minivans, and blacking out at weddings, it’s the usual delusional chaos, full of tangents, truths, and the kind of late-night debates only best friends can have. tune in, spiral with us, and feel like you’re one of us in this first episode of augustTimestamps 0:36 - Jaz’s and Halley’s health updates 16:30 - Halley’s biggest fear18:47 - Oceans, waves, and riptides 20:34 - What are we not good at 27:30 - Bitching hour 36:06 - All things bridesmaids dresses41:36 - Whose most likely to… LinksQuince: Go to quince.com/delusional for free shipping and 365 day returns ZocDoc: Go to zocdoc.com/diaries to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

in this week’s episode, Halley and Jaz are breaking down SO MANY TOPICS: starting with the viral TikTok comments about pregnancy rumors and a spontaneous ear bleed (yes, you read that right). the girls deep-dive into the messy world of gender reveals, pregnancy expectations, and the irrational emotional rollercoaster of wanting a baby… eventually. from Botox updates to debating if it’s ever okay to be disappointed by your baby’s gender, they dish it all with their signature mix of honesty and humor.then it gets a bit unhinged, in the best way possible, as they unpack the internet’s latest obsession: the woman who stole $1300 worth of goods from Target and said, “I’ll just pay now.” this naturally leads to Halley and Jaz sharing their own teen stealing confessions, Jaz’s traumatic memory of being the first-ever Target customer in Alaska, and a spiral into the chaotic world of retail stories and their teenage jobs. Plus: the ongoing saga of their Pickle closets, unsolicited DMs, and influencer pet peeves.to wrap it up, the duo dive into their chaotic travel updates, Jaz’s terrifying solo flight on a mini plane, and their excitement (and exhaustion) over upcoming plans. from Costa Rica content trips to fall cravings, puppy fever, HR cheating scandals, and Justice store memories: you’ll laugh, reminisce, and relate to every second. as always, it’s real, delusional, and completely unforgettable.Timestamps0:18 - Comments about Jaz being pregnant  2:23 - Our thoughts on gender reveals 7:58 - The Target Thief 17:05 - Our jobs in retail22:38 - Bitching hour 26:32 - Peaks and Pits 35:25 - Coldplay Concert Scandal 40:45 - How do singers go on tour 42:55 - Itching for a new dogLinksDraftKings: Download the app and sign up with code DIARIES See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Halley and Jaz are back: with way too much to catch up on. from summer travel whiplash to an exciting (but mysterious) Costa Rica work trip, they’re trying to slow down… but obviously, that’s not happening. they recap Halley’s Europe adventures, reflect on hosting everyone except themselves all summer, and spiral over how there are somehow only eight weekends of summer left. (how did that happen?)naturally, the convo devolves into a full Love Island debrief. spoiler alert: they don’t trust the producers, they’ve got big opinions on Nic and Olandria, and yes, they’re still obsessed with Amaya. they also get deep about cancel culture, double standards between men and women, childhood bedroom redesigns, babysitting horror stories, sneaky Rite Aid thefts, and why college dorming should honestly be illegal. ALSO: a lot of your questions get answered, and the answers are JUICY!this episode is a chaotic cocktail of nostalgia, unfiltered advice, and friendship rants with a side of sassiness & tea-spilling. it’s everything you didn’t know you needed: just press play and let the rollercoaster begin. Timestamps 0:22 - Travels & life updates3:15 - Love Island Finale 10:20 - Our take on music these days13:08 - Would we buy the original Birkin 15:12 - Questions from our followers 38:08 - Do Kevin and Reed get to have opinions when it comes to decorating the houses 43:16 - PB Teen & American Girl Dolls LinksHelloFresh: Sign up for HelloFresh and get 10 free meals with a free item in every box! Hellofresh.com/delusional10FM Cash App: Download Cash App Today #CashAppPartner #CashAppPod https://cash.app/?utm_source=episodic&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=episodic_podscale_delusionaldiaries_2025&shortlink=8u4300cq&af_dp=cashme%3A%2F%2F&c=Episodic_Podscale_DelusionalDiaries_2025&pid=Episodic-to-App&af_xp=custom&source_caller=uiSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this week on delusional diaries, halley and jaz are back and buzzier than ever… literally fresh off getting their ears re-pierced and botox topped off (because, duh). they’re taking you inside the chaos of their lives lately: wimbledon, pimm’s, why jaz is officially back on her “freeze my face” era…but that’s just the beginning. halley spills all the details on her eurotrip-esque paris + london adventure, from chaotic eurostar nightmares to staying at the ritz, plus yes, we finally get the tea on why reed didn’t propose the girls also reflect on aging, looking hot at 50, married life weirdness, family holiday traditions (including an accidental thanksgiving meltdown, oops), and the constant struggle of being hot and hyper-analyzed on camera.botox? yes. wimbledon? yes. almost crying at the train station? also yes. this episode is everything you could wish for… Timestamps:0:17 - Our new additions 2:51 - Botox refresh8:06 - Wimbledon & our love of tennis12:53 - We need some sleep15:22 - Euro travels 24:13 - Jaz is a sister-in-law30:36 - Workout accountability 37:44 - Jaz’s houseLinks ZocDoc: Go to zocdoc.com/diaries to find and instantly book a top-rated doctorSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz are in the Hamptons with fresh summer cuts and full of 4th of July energy. the episode kicks off with a much-needed hair update and a debate over who really has the shorter cut. spoiler: no one actually knows what an inch is. they swap stories about childhood holiday traditions, chaotic firework moments, and working family fair booths. they also dive deep into their own anxious inner child moments, like waking your mom up at 2AM and silently praying you wouldn’t get screamed at, and share a few reflections on religion, OCD tendencies, and growing empathy for their moms now that they’re older. it’s equal parts hilarious and weirdly healing.of course, it wouldn’t be a Delusional Diaries episode without some breaking down of reality TV and whatnot. the girls go in on the current Love Island season, debating who’s real, who’s fake, and who’s getting done dirty by editing. throw in some blackout flashbacks, boat day dreams, and home renovation updates, and you’ve got the ultimate summer chaos.Timestamps:0:16 - We got our Summer cuts 3:04 - July 4th nostalgia 11:15 - Jaz 4th of July redemption year 14:19 - when you had to wake up your parents in the middle of the night 19:36 - Love Island thoughts pre-frontal lobe convos 28:25 - Jaz’s new house updates 36:57 - What’s your villain origin story 46:30 - What conspiracy theory do you believe 49:21 - Kylie Jenner lip kits 50:43 - Sleepovers growing up and our sneaking out stories Links: SeatGeek: Use code delusional10 for 10% off your next SeatGeek order https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/DELUSIONAL10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $20 discountSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.