329. A Reframe on Jealousy

It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to other women and feeling jealous, intimidated, or like you’re somehow behind. But what if you could shift that mindset and instead feel genuinely inspired by the success around you? In this episode, we share a recent real-life experience from a mastermind we attended with highly successful business owners and how it challenged us to see comparison differently. Instead of letting the “small fish in a big sea” feeling discourage us, we used it as proof of what’s possible. We talk about the mindset shift that helped us move from comparison to inspiration, why personal growth plays a huge role in that process, and how surrounding yourself with the right people can change the way you view your own potential.In this episode, we discuss:What it felt like walking into a room full of highly successful entrepreneurs.The surprising common habits we noticed among women operating at a high level.Why taking care of your physical health often supports long-term success.The “highlight reel vs. inner life” trap and why it distorts how we see other people’s journeys.Questions to ask yourself when someone else's success triggers comparison.The hidden sacrifices and personal work that often sit behind visible success.Practical ways to shift from jealousy to curiosity and inspiration.Why your mindset about others’ success can either hold you back or move you forward.How getting support, such as a mindset coach, can help you break out of negative thought patterns.The powerful question to ask when a negative thought about someone else pops up.LINKS AND RESOURCES:BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Mom guilt has shaped so many seasons of our motherhood journeys, but it does not hold the same power it once did. In this honest and reflective conversation, we look back on what used to weigh heavily on our hearts and compare it to the much shorter lists we carry today. From work-related guilt and feeling torn between responsibilities, to struggling to fully enjoy our kids while managing the chaos of daily life, we share the real-time challenges we are still navigating. We also open up about the pressure of meeting different needs within the same family and how growth, perspective, and practical shifts have helped us loosen guilt’s grip. Our hope is that hearing where we have been and how far we have come helps you peel back a layer of guilt in your own motherhood story.Key Topics Covered:Amy’s early fears about bonding, attachment, and whether her firstborn would recognize her after returning to work.The internal struggle around justifying time with friends during the early years of motherhood.Abby’s vulnerable admission of questioning whether she was cut out for motherhood during a difficult phase.The specific work pressures that tend to trigger guilt in this current season.Navigating overlapping sports schedules and creating a fair system when multiple kids need to be in different places at once.Wanting meaningful one-on-one time with each child but feeling stretched thin.The emotional load of managing kids versus enjoying them.Parenting a spirited child whose needs require extra time and attention.Practical mindset shifts that have helped us move from shame toward self-compassion.LINKS AND RESOURCES:Listen to Episode 12. Mom Guilt: How We’re Working Through It: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/12-mom-guilt-how-were-working-through-itHERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastLet’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Editing your life doesn’t require a dramatic overhaul, it starts with small, intentional shifts every single day. In this episode, we explore what it really means to take an “edit” mindset into your routines, your responsibilities, and even the expectations you carry. From closets to calendars to long-held commitments, we share how thoughtful adjustments can reduce overwhelm and create more breathing room in this season of life. If you’ve been feeling stretched thin, this conversation will help you step back, reassess, and take ownership of what stays and what goes.Key topics covered:Practical strategies for deciding what to donate, sell, or keep in your wardrobe.How trends influence buying habits and how to shop more intentionally.Four closet decluttering challenges you can implement immediately.Why overcommitting can crowd out what matters most.Navigating guilt around volunteering and kids’ activities.Managing group text dynamics and communication overload.Evaluating whether networking events align with your current season.Understanding “legacy commitments” and reassessing past obligations.LINKS AND RESOURCES:LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Some comments linger longer than they should. A tone, a look, an offhand remark from your partner, your child, or a friend can spiral into a story in your head before you even realize it. This conversation unpacks what it really takes to not take things personally, especially in the relationships that matter most. From defensiveness and truth triggers to slowing down your reactions and separating someone else’s mood from your responsibility, we share practical mindset shifts that create more peace at home and in your friendships.Key Topics Covered:• The connection between defensiveness and hidden truths.• Why pausing before reacting changes everything.• Separating your partner’s emotions from your own sense of worth.• The role tone plays when giving and receiving feedback.• Helping kids regulate before expecting repair or apology.• Teaching children awareness of how their words impact others.• Navigating the sting of feeling like a means to an end as a parent.• Modeling reciprocal conversations and emotional awareness at home.• How past friendship wounds shape present reactions.• Real life examples of working through friendship conflict without escalation.LINKS AND RESOURCES:HERSELF AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastLet’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

No one really tells you how much parenting shifts once your kids reach school age, and there are a few things we deeply wish we had known sooner. The early years are all-consuming and survival-focused, which makes forward thinking feel nearly impossible. Now on the other side of that stage, we reflect on the bigger transitions kids experience once they enter school and the areas that deserve a little more intention.Key topics covered:What changes once kids enter school and why it can feel like a whole new parenting phase.How friendships evolve from “everyone is invited” to more complex social dynamics.Coaching kids through hard friendship moments, apologies, and repairing relationships.Why it’s important to remember your child’s experience may look different from your own.The impact of words and helping kids understand how their choices affect others.How to handle notes home from school and why the truth often lives in the middle.The value of volunteering at school and gaining perspective on a teacher’s day-to-day.Being pro teacher and why believing the teacher matters.Managing the overwhelm of school paperwork, sign-ups, and assignments.Creating systems at home so responsibilities don’t fall through the cracks.Teaching kids to apologize with intention, not just to avoid consequences.Why school-aged parenting can be challenging and incredibly fun at the same time.LINKS AND RESOURCES:LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We turned the conversation over to you and asked one powerful question: In what ways do you struggle with comparison? The overwhelming response was the realization that comparison shows up far more often than we think, especially around money, careers, bodies, relationships, and even our kids. We unpack why comparison feels so loud today, how much of what we see is a highlight reel, and why everyone’s starting point, values, and circumstances are completely different. From navigating career shifts and body image to friendships, marriage, and parenting, this episode is a reminder that you are not behind, broken, or doing life wrong. You are simply living your own version of it.In this episode, we talk about:The sneaky ways comparison shows up, especially the thought of “What am I doing wrong and how can everyone else afford this?”Why social media hides financial stress, marriage struggles, and real life challenges.How different values and priorities shape what people choose to spend money and energy on.Career comparison and promotions, including Abby’s experience leaving the corporate world and redefining fulfillment.Why your job might not be the problem and how finding fulfillment outside of work can change everything.Body comparison, genetics, and why not everything is meant to come easily or naturally to everyone.The truth behind our friendship and why working together skews what people see.Comparing kids, milestones, achievements, and even siblings within the same family.LINKS AND RESOURCES:HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u Let’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Parenting in a village isn’t anything new. It’s a necessity for many families, especially when extended family isn’t close by. In this episode, we talk candidly about what it really looks like to build and rely on a village of friends, neighbors, and other families. If you’ve never done this before, know that it can feel intimidating at first. Trusting others with your kids, your schedule, and your needs takes time and practice but it gets easier, and it’s worth it.Key Topics CoveredWhat it means to build a parenting village when family isn’t nearby.Why relying on others often starts out of necessity.How to ask for help clearly, specifically, and in a way that feels fair.Making drop-off birthday parties work for your family.When and how to incorporate paid support into your village.The impact of unexpected support and paying it forward.How building a village models healthy relationships and help-seeking for kids.Letting go of what you thought your village would look like and getting creative.Abby’s go-to coaching prompt for asking for help.LINKS AND RESOURCES:BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfLMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

What if the missing ingredient in your marriage, friendships, and parenting isn’t more fixing, but more fun? In this episode, we explore a powerful shift inspired by a viral quote: instead of always focusing on what’s wrong, what happens when we intentionally prioritize joy and play in our relationships?We reflect on how fun often comes naturally in dating but slowly fades as responsibilities, exhaustion, and parenthood take over. Through our honest stories, we unpack why fun is essential, how to bring it back in small, realistic ways, and how it can transform not just your marriage, but your friendships and your experience of parenting.In this episode, we cover:Why having more fun can be just as important as therapy for long-term relationships.How marriage dynamics shift after kids and why fun is often the first thing to disappear.Simple questions to help you take inventory of what actually feels fun and energizing right now.The difference between fun that happens away from your kids and fun you can create with them.Why shared experiences are key to deeper adult friendships and the power of being the one who sends the invite.A simple question to ask your kids to uncover when they feel most connected to you.Realistic, everyday ideas for adding more fun into parenting, even in busy seasons.Fun isn’t optional. It’s often the thing that restores energy, strengthens connection, and makes this season of life feel lighter and more sustainable.LINKS AND RESOURCES:HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastLet’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Friendship doesn’t stay the same as we move through different seasons of life. Many of us grow up with built-in friends from childhood or college, but as we move, build careers, get married, and have kids, our relationships naturally shift. In this episode, we’re not talking about casual friendships or surface-level connections. We’re diving into the deeper, dependable friendships that truly support us, especially as we near 40.We share four key elements that define meaningful adult friendships. First, we talk about the importance of genuinely being proud of the people closest to us. True closeness often goes hand in hand with how someone makes us feel in our body and nervous system. The friends who help us feel calm, safe, and comfortable tend to be the ones who take relationships to the next level.We also explore the value of friends who celebrate our wins. Everyone deserves people they can run to with exciting news, knowing it will be met with genuine joy. If a relationship consistently feels one-sided or competitive, it may be a sign that it’s not meant to be a deeply close friendship.Life inevitably brings hard seasons, and we reflect on how powerful it is to have friends who show up when things get tough. We discuss how small acts, like following up when someone is going through something important, can leave a lasting impact and strengthen trust over time.We also remind listeners that no friendship is perfect. A single comment or moment doesn’t have to define an entire relationship. When something doesn’t sit right, honest conversations can create deeper understanding and connection, especially when the friendship is built on mutual respect.Finally, we talk about staying open to new friendships. You may not have met your future best friend yet. So many people are looking for meaningful connection, but it often takes courage, vulnerability, and someone willing to take the first step to make it happen.Molly Millwood’s Book: https://amzlink.to/az0iWvIxqfuUD Listen to HERself episode #10 with Molly Millwood: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/10-herself-expert-molly-millwood-on-motherhood-marriage-and-the-modern-dilemma LINKS AND RESOURCES:LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Decision making doesn’t get easier as life gets fuller and for many women, the constant stream of choices can feel exhausting. In this episode we unpack what decision fatigue really looks like, how it shows up in work and family life, and why trusting yourself is often the most important part of the process.Abby kicks things off by breaking down what actually makes a “good” decision, drawing from her coaching background and education at UW–Madison. She reminds us that we’re always making the best decision we can with the information we have at the time, and explains how the nervous system and personal values play a bigger role in decision making than we often realize.Amy shares behind-the-scenes insight into a recent work decision and reflects on how she gives herself more grace than most women do when it comes to the decision making process. Together, Abby and Amy walk through real-life examples; from building a home, to managing family logistics, and highlight how two people can arrive at the same decision through very different paths.They also explore confidence, indecision, and when it’s helpful (or not) to bring other people’s opinions into the mix. The episode wraps with a few simple, practical ways they’ve each reduced daily decision fatigue - small shifts that have made a big difference.If you’ve ever felt stuck, second-guessed yourself, or wished decisions felt a little lighter, this episode is your reminder that you already have what you need. Trust yourself.LINKS AND RESOURCES:FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest locationMEDICUBE: https://amzlink.to/az0zgEJC7OXMuHERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastLet’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.