303. The Top 3 Things We've Learned in Marriage

Marriage is a constant journey of learning, growth, and reminding ourselves of the basics—especially during stressful seasons. In this week’s episode, we’re taking you behind the scenes of our own marriages to share the top three lessons we’ve each learned with our spouses over the years.We kick things off with a little chit chat (thanks to Colin for the idea!) about what we’ve been reading and watching lately before diving into the heart of the episode: the relationship lessons that continue to shape our marriages.Here’s what you’ll hear in today’s episode:Amy’s #1: Why standing by your core values matters, even when it feels uncomfortable—especially when it comes to finances.Abby’s #1: The power of speaking up when it matters most (without nitpicking everything).Amy’s #2: Shifting your perspective from “me vs. you” to “us vs. the problem.”Abby’s #2: Embracing the reality that we all change over time—and learning to love your spouse as they grow.Amy’s #3: Letting your partner positively influence you (this one gets spicy!).Abby’s #3: Why having dreams together matters—and how to let your spouse in on yours.If you’ve been craving real, honest conversations about what makes marriage work, this episode will give you tangible reminders, relatable stories, and encouragement to keep building a strong foundation with your partner.Let us know what resonates most with you! Share your biggest takeaway from this episode over on Instagram @herselfpodcast—we love hearing from you.LINKS AND RESOURCES:LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Conflict is a natural part of every relationship—whether it’s in marriage, friendship, family, or work. In this week’s episode, we’re diving into the 5 different conflict styles (the accommodator, the avoider, the compromiser, the competitor, and the collaborator) and exploring how they show up in our lives.We share personal stories and examples of how conflict plays out differently in our marriages versus our friendships. Abby opens up about realizing her conflict style might not be what she originally thought after reflecting with her husband, Colin, who leans more toward the “need to be right” style. Amy talks about how she used to lean heavily on avoidance but, through therapy, has been growing into a more collaborative approach.Inside this episode, you’ll learn:What the 5 conflict styles are and how they show up in relationships.Why saying “we never fight” might actually mean you’re not speaking up for yourself.Why our conflict styles can look different in marriage vs. friendships.How to decide which relationships are worth working through conflict for.Remember: the goal isn’t to avoid conflict altogether, but to understand how you (and those around you) approach it so you can move toward healthier resolutions.Read the article on the 5 conflict styles here.LINKS AND RESOURCES:GOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herselfFORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest locationCORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Since it’s a holiday here in the U.S., we’re bringing back one of our most downloaded and loved episodes of all time—with none other than the incredible Shrink Chicks, Emmalee and Jennifer, co-founders of The Therapy Group.These two women are experts in relationships, and in this conversation, we dig deep into what happens after kids enter the picture. From navigating conflict and working through small disagreements to building healthier communication patterns, this episode is packed with strategies you can use at every stage of your relationship.To be honest, it felt like we were sitting in on our very own couples therapy session—except thousands of you were right there with us, nodding along to the truths being shared.What you’ll learn in this episode:How to navigate conflict in a way that strengthens your relationship.Tools to move through disagreements without disconnecting.Why communication patterns matter more than winning an argument.The importance of seeking support instead of trying to “fix it all” on your own.Important note: The guidance shared in this episode is meant for those in safe, healthy relationships. If abuse is present, these tools won’t apply, and we encourage you to seek professional resources and support.One of the most powerful takeaways from this conversation is that you don’t need to figure out your relationship struggles alone. Resources, therapy, and the right tools can transform your partnership—and your life.We’d love to hear your biggest “aha” moments after listening. Share your takeaways with us on Instagram and tag @shrinkchicks and @herselfpodcast so we can connect with you.LINKS AND RESOURCES:VUORI: 20% off first purchase at: http://vuoriclothing.com/herself LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

As moms, we know every season brings new challenges, and summer can be one of the hardest to navigate. In this week’s episode, we share an honest summer recap—the wins, the struggles, and the lessons we’re carrying into fall and beyond.From childcare challenges to balancing marriage and motherhood, we open up about the good, the bad, and the messy parts of parenting during the summer months.Childcare struggles & solutions: Amy shares what she learned when their nanny left for college in August and how she’s planning ahead with summer camps for next year. Abby talks about what worked (parent swaps) and what will have to change as Owen transitions out of daycare.Parenting & relationships: Many parents find themselves burnt out by the end of summer, especially when one parent carries more of the load. Amy and Abby talk about how this impacts relationships—and why it’s important to ask for help before you’re drowning.Practical takeaways: From childcare swaps, community programs, and after-school care, to making small changes at home, Amy and Abby share the strategies that are helping their families run more smoothly.Personal edits: Amy admits she’s working on bringing more positivity to family check-in meetings, while Abby is finding balance between her love of open weekends and Colin’s need for structure.This conversation is a reminder for every parent: check in with yourself often. Needs change, kids grow, relationships evolve, and your routines should too. Don’t stay stuck—start making small edits now to set yourself up for a smoother season ahead.We also want to take a moment to celebrate a very special milestone today; this is our 300th episode! We couldn’t be here without the support of each and every one of you. Thank you for tuning in, listening week after week, and sharing the episodes that resonate the most with you. Here’s to 300 more!LINKS AND RESOURCES:BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfGOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herselfCORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Happiness. For some, the word sparks joy. For others, it feels complicated. In this episode, we’re unpacking what happiness truly means — and why our own perspectives on the word itself are surprisingly different.Inspired by research from a UC Berkeley professor who studies happiness, we explore three key factors proven to boost your well-being:Human connection — why in-person connection is essential for joy.Expressing gratitude — how appreciation shifts your mindset.Volunteering — the surprising way giving back benefits you, too.We also share personal stories and simple practices we use to spark happiness in our own lives — even on hard days.If you’ve ever wondered why happiness can feel so elusive or how to cultivate more of it, this conversation is a heartfelt mix of science, personal reflection, and actionable tips you can try today.LINKS AND RESOURCES:FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest locationLMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

In this episode, we're answering your questions—everything from serious parenting dilemmas to fun, rapid-fire get-to-know-you questions. We kick things off by digging into thoughtful, vulnerable topics like:How to help kids develop a tolerance for discomfort.What to do when someone you care about is in a toxic relationship.How to respond when family members ignore birthday invitations.Parenting children with developmental delays.When to let go of a long-term friendship.How to make meaningful friendships that aren't just “mom friends”.Later in the episode, we switch gears and get into the lighter stuff, answering questions like:Who is more hygienic?Who needs more sleep?Who is more of a homebody?Who is pickier about food?Who takes longer to get ready?What do we admire most about each other as parents?Who is more confrontational?Who has the wilder spending habits?Spoiler alert: One question made us both emotional—so be sure to listen all the way through!Whether you're navigating parenting, family drama, or just want to get to know us better, this episode has a little something for everyone. If you loved this Q&A format, let us know—we'd love to make this a recurring thing!LINKS AND RESOURCES:GOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herselfVUORI: 20% off first purchase at: http://vuoriclothing.com/herself LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

If you're raising a child who feels everything deeply and expresses it loudly, this episode is for you.Today, we’re diving into a topic that sparked our biggest listener response ever—first explored in Episode 157 with Claire Lerner—and it’s all about parenting children with big reactions.Both of us are moms to what we lovingly call “big reactors.” These are the kids whose emotional outbursts and transitions hit differently. They're intense. They're spirited. And traditional parenting advice? It usually doesn’t work.We talk about:What we learned from our game-changing conversation in Episode 157.Why big reactions are often wired into your child’s DNA.The reality that gentle parenting isn’t always effective with these kids.How transitions can be a major trigger—and how we’ve learned to navigate them.Amy’s experience taking her whole family to therapy (and what actually helped).The critical role of one-on-one attention for highly sensitive or strong-willed kids.The surprising ways these kids ask for love—even when it doesn’t feel like love at all.This episode is here to remind you—you’re not alone. And while parenting a big-feeling kid can be exhausting and confusing, it’s also deeply rewarding. The bond you can build is incredible when you find what works and stay consistent.If you’re raising a spirited child, a highly sensitive kid, or a little one with intense emotional reactions, this episode is a must-listen.LINKS AND RESOURCES:LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Is sibling fighting driving you up the wall lately? You’re not alone—and this episode is straight from the heart of our community’s requests. In this conversation, we're diving into real-life strategies to help parents navigate sibling conflicts with more confidence and less chaos.First things first: sibling fighting is normal! In fact, sibling relationships are the training ground for learning how to navigate friendships, handle conflict, and set boundaries. The goal isn’t to eliminate fighting altogether—it’s to help our kids learn from it in healthy ways.We’re sharing:Why zero sibling conflict isn’t a realistic goal.How to step out of the referee role and what to do instead.Why you shouldn’t automatically side with the younger sibling.Tools and scripts that help during transition times like after school.Our honest take on using screen time as a sibling conflict tool.What to do in the moment when the fighting actually starts.You’ll walk away with tips that are practical, parent-tested, and rooted in advice from top parenting experts.If you're a parent looking for real solutions and a little solidarity—you’ll love this episode.LINKS AND RESOURCES:CORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herselfLMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Are youth sports taking over your calendar? You’re not alone. In this episode, we—two moms raising three kids each in a sports-loving community—open up about the challenges and joys of navigating youth sports with kids aged 9, 7, 6, and 4.5.We get real about what it means to be a sports family, how our own upbringings shape our decisions, and why it’s okay to press pause and ask: “Is this still working for our family?”You’ll hear:Why your childhood experience with sports might be influencing your parenting.The important questions we always ask before signing up for a new season.The emotional and logistical load of youth sports (and how we try to split duties with our partners).Our take on whether parents should coach their kids' teams.How to re-evaluate your family’s priorities when sports start to take center stage.Whether you’re a seasoned sports mom or just entering the world of practices, tournaments, and team snacks, this episode will offer perspective, reassurance, and a whole lot of solidarity.Tune in if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the sports schedule, wondered if you're doing it “right,” or just need to hear that you’re not the only one Googling “how much is too much?” when it comes to youth activities.LINKS AND RESOURCES:LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF GOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Heads up: This episode contains adult content—pop in your earbuds if the kids are around!We are excited to dive into a topic we haven’t discussed in a while: intimacy. Whether you're newly postpartum or deep in the trenches of parenting, we know that maintaining a healthy sex life with your partner can feel complicated—and sometimes like just another thing on your to-do list.We’re sharing what has worked for us personally, how our sex lives have shifted through different seasons of motherhood, and how we’ve learned to reconnect with our partners along the way.In this episode, we discuss:How sex changes during different stages of parenthood (especially postpartum).The impact of hormonal and physical shifts on your desire for intimacy.The difference between spontaneous vs. responsive sex drives—and why understanding yours matters.Tips for improving communication in the bedroom (hint: start with what you do want).Easy ways to rekindle connection and feel more like a team again.And make sure you stay tuned to the end—we polled our community and we share your amazing, real-life recommendations for improving intimacy that you won’t want to miss.Whether you're looking to reignite the spark or simply feel closer to your partner, this episode offers practical advice and heartfelt insight to support your relationship.LINKS AND RESOURCES:GOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herselfBETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfFORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest locationSPICY BOOKS LIST- curated by us and all our listeners! Affiliate LinksLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.