251. Mom Guilt, Where We Are Today

Inspired by our recent project together, today’s episode is all about how we tackled decluttering Amy’s house! Amy felt her house was bursting at the seams in all the wrong ways - think overflowing closets, dresser drawers, toy storage, etc. In comes Abby to save the day! Having read all the books and listened to all the podcasts, Abby has taken all the information she’s learned over the years to create her own manageable and flexible method of decluttering to keep her home, and now Amy’s, a space that is clutter free and easy to keep tidy. We’re tagging it the “Abby Green Method” and she’s going to share her 4 decluttering steps with us during today’s discussion! Whether you’ve also read all the books like Abby and feel like an experienced declutterer, or you’re totally new at this and feeling overwhelmed with where to begin, our hope is that you are able to take away some of the tips from this episode and apply them to your own decluttering journey!Links & Resources:10% off at BETTERHELP20% off your purchase of Thorne20% off your first order of WILD with code HERSELF20 Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Dr. Jasmine, our guest on today’s episode, did everything she could to check off her boxes on her timeline. But after struggling to conceive her first child, she expected motherhood to be smooth sailing from there. However, after the birth of her baby, Dr. Jasmine suffered from debilitating postpartum depression, anxiety, and insomnia. With her background as a clinical pharmacist with a doctorate in Pharmacy, Dr. Jasmine felt that even though she was clinically prepared to be aware of the signs and symptoms and treatment of PPD, it still didn’t make sense to her why she was walking through that hardship. Once she accepted her feelings, she sought help from a perinatal mental health therapist and decided to pursue studies to obtain her own perinatal mental health certificate to better understand what she and so many other women were struggling with. Now through that storm, she hosts a podcast called “Healing the Tigress” where she focuses on conversations and stories around Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI) mental health. Her presence online has created a safe and honest space for other women to share their experiences and celebrate the meaning of “One and Won”. Today on our show, Dr. Jasmine is so vulnerable about her postpartum depression, anxiety, and insomnia experience and also shares with us how she came to the conclusion that one child was the best fit for her and her family. She explains how the societal saying of “One and Done” can be perceived and instead, provides a new and fresh reframe of “One and Won” to celebrate the joy of having one child. This concept leaves room for families to change their minds if they decide to expand their family in the future. We are so grateful for the honesty and openness Dr. Jasmine brings to today’s episode and hope you share this with someone you love who may need to hear today’s message. Links & Resources:Free sample pack with purchase of LMNT - try the chocolate salt, perfect for fall!Use code HERSELF20 for 20% off First order of Wild Follow Dr. Jasmine on InstagramDr. Jasmine’s WebsiteListen to Dr. Jasmine’s Podcast: Healing the TigressDr. Jasmine’s Newsletter and most popular article, “One and Won…”Check out the Office of Women’s Health “Talking PPD” campaign!Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We shared in our last check-in episode that this school year was going to bring big changes to both of our family’s lives. Today, we, Amy and Abby, wanted to revisit those changes and discuss how things are going now that we are a few months into the school year, as well as talk about how we practice self care during this season of motherhood.  While today is a shorter episode, we still wanted to bring you, our listener, some tangible tips that we feel have made a big difference with prioritizing self care in our everyday lives. We talk about leaving space for quality family time, creating time to move your body and how that movement may vary during different seasons of motherhood, and how to tweak your daily routine by adding or removing habits that can support your well-being. We want to be good examples for our kids. And our kids watching us pour into them with an empty cup doesn’t set the greatest example. Fill up your cup mama, however you feel will fill you up best, and then pour into your family with renewed enjoyment and excitement for motherhood. Whether you are a stage ahead of us in motherhood, or a stage behind, we hope you found today’s episode helpful in some way!Links & Resources:10% off at BETTERHELPCheck out Forage Kitchen!Free sample pack with purchase of LMNTLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

You cannot miss this episode! Cindy Hovington, PhD, mother of three, and creator of Curious Neuron is our guest on today’s episode. Cindy specializes in mental health and emotions and has made it her mission to support parents in developing skills and habits that will allow them to nurture their own well-being. She also helps parents to develop leadership skills, coaching skills, and learn science-based well-being tips to encourage parenting and emotional intelligence. We are diving into some deep and heavy topics today with Cindy, but you know here at HERself, it’s our passion to bring you the best information from the best experts. Soccer practice, dance class, play dates…the list goes on and on of the activities we do for our children. Cindy reminds us that the studies show if we continuously say “there isn’t enough time!” that it will eventually have negative effects on our mental and physical health. It’s so important to be mindful of how your family spends their time and find the balance that works for your family. Setting boundaries, knowing your limit, and having open communication with your family is key.Gentle parenting has been a trending parenting style for the past several years. Cindy has really great insight to help us find the balance between being too permissive and being too authoritarian. Finding that balance is not only best for your children, but best for your mental health as the parent. Cindy has a special offer just for HERself listeners, so check out the links in the show notes for more information!Links & Resources:20% off at Vuori Clothing$5 off your first order of GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’20% off your first order of WILD with code ‘HERSELF20’HERself Episode 97 with Kristin NeffFollow Cindy Hovington on Instagram and FacebookCindy’s WebsiteListen to Cindy’s Podcast: Curious NeuronCurious Neuron FREE Parental Well-Being KitJoin the Curious Neuron membership using the code HERSELF30 to get 30% off! Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We get into it ALL in today’s episode with Dr. Heather Finley! After struggling with her own digestive issues for nearly 20 years, Heather completed her training to become a registered dietitian and also has a doctorate in clinical nutrition. She understands first hand the impact that nutrition, lifestyle, and mindset all have on digestive health and now uses her passion for nutrition to help people struggling with bloating, constipation, and IBS find relief from their symptoms and feel excited about food again. Social media is constantly showing us the newest elimination diet, anti-bloating pill, or inflammation-friendly health trend. But is it really that easy? Heather gives us her expert opinion on what “normal” GI health should look like, factors that may be impacting your overall gut health, and how to help your bloating. Travelling seems to always bring on constipation due to many external factors like dehydration, less movement, diet change, etc. Heather gives us her favorite tips and tricks to ease your tummy problems while on your trips, but they are also totally applicable to at-home use too! Decreasing inflammation and elimination diets seem to be big trends online right now. We talk with Heather about how the gut can impact a lot of areas of our health, how to know if you’re experiencing inflammation, and whether or not you should try that new trendy elimination diet. The good news is that there is help from experts like Heather if you are experiencing any of the symptoms we talked about in today’s episode AND there is so much research happening surrounding gut health! Follow Heather for an expert’s guidance and the most up-to-date information on these topics! Links & Resources:10% off at BETTERHELP20% off your purchase of ThorneFollow Dr. Heather Finley on Instagram and DM her “Mocktail” for her free mineral mocktail recipe guide!Visit https://guttogetherprogram.com to book a discovery call with Heather and her team and start improving your digestive symptoms today!Heather’s WebsiteLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

This episode is a bit different from our norm! Today we have a couple on the show! Stranz and Mallory Wolfgramm host the podcast “Make Marriage Work” and are here to talk with us about what they’ve learned as a couple over the years and techniques we can take away to have successful arguments and conflict resolution in our relationships. Mallory is a licensed therapist with a private practice who specializes in couple’s therapy and is the perfect guest to talk about this topic! We want you to know that every relationship has a conflict cycle and it’s perfectly normal to have arguments! And to really prove that theory, Abby and Amy get vulnerable and share some areas of conflict in their marriages and relationship challenges to get Mallory’s expert advice.  We also talk through Mallory’s controversial Instagram post about how she feels we should know our partner’s phone passcode. We really enjoyed today’s talk with Mallory and Stranz and feel this could have gone on much longer than time allotted for!Links & Resources:Free sample pack with purchase of LMNTFollow Mallory on InstagramMallory’s practice, The Marigold Practice Listen to Stranz and Mallory’s Podcast: Make Marriage WorkLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Parenting in the digital age can be confusing and scary. We know a lot of our listeners have the same questions that we do when it comes to technology and our kids! Today on the podcast, we are interviewing Dr. Devorah Heitner who has a PhD in Media/Technology and Society, is a parent, author, and screentime expert. She brings a lot of passion to this topic and answers all our questions with a new perspective surrounding social media, devices, and screentime when it comes to our kids!Every family will have a different take on screentime. Instead of judging others for their comfort zones and boundaries, Dr. Devorah encourages us to talk about screentime with friends and family to see the ways other families approach the use of tech in their homes. Dr. Devorah gives us her insight on wearable devices that have gained a lot of popularity with younger kiddos. We also ask the question “when is it the right time to give my child a cell phone?” Many factors go into this answer and Dr. Devorah breaks them down for us. Most importantly, we need to mentor our children on how to conduct themselves online and on their devices. Having the hard conversations about the content they view and conversations they have with their peers will help lead them in the right direction. There is no blueprint, but Dr. Devorah does give us a lot of insight into things we should discuss and think about before giving our children access to being online and devices.Links & Resources:Free Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’Try Forage Kitchen!Follow Dr. Devorah Heitner on InstagramDr. Devorah’s WebsitePurchase Dr. Devorah’s Books; “Screenwise” and “Growing Up in Public”SubstackLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Society pressures women to stay youthful, but our guest on today’s episode, Tanya Dalton, has a motivating message that will encourage you to embrace aging gracefully and love the wisdom that comes with having more birthdays! Tanya is a bestselling author, motivational speaker, wife, and mother who is going to share with us why we should be excited about getting older!Several other cultures revere their older adults and grandparents are often seen as the wisest family members! However, in America, women in their 50s and older are seen as the “wicked stepmother” and the “old crone” tropes that come with negative connotations. Tanya explains why aging could not be further from this comparison and why it is in fact a beautiful thing that should not be feared! We know a lot of our listeners are entering their 40s soon, so we talk with Tanya about why your 40s can be exciting and a time for deep self exploration. Getting to know your true self over the years and quieting your ego will leave room for your intuition to speak and help you make life decisions more easily. Knowing what you truly want out of your life and doing the things you love will not only make YOU happier, but those around you as well. Let’s all celebrate our next birthdays with enthusiasm for another year of beautiful life worth living!Links & Resources:10% off at BETTERHELPFree sample pack with purchase of LMNTTanya’s Website Listen to Tanya’s Podcast: The Intentional AdvantagePurchase Tanya’s Books; The Joy of Missing Out and On PurposeLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Mom guilt can feel SO heavy in one season of life, and lighter in others. If you’ve yet to feel one of the lighter seasons, today’s episode is for you. We are here to tell you that we see you and we hope that today’s episode helps to open up the conversation about mom guilt.In today’s episode we both share how our mom guilt has changed over the years from when our children were infants to their ages now. For Abby, mom guilt currently shows up with her children’s involvement in sports and being able to spend time at practice and games with all the other life things going on creating schedule conflicts. Amy shares that having one child who is a deep feeler and big reactor requires a lot of hands-on parenting and how that has affected her other children and the guilt that comes along with making each of her three children feel special. Something both of us can relate to is the guilt that comes along with being a working mother. Amy finds encouragement thinking about the other working moms in her life that are both amazing career women AND amazing mothers! Seeing the proof you can be both at the same time and reminding yourself that your work is important for your family makes the guilt a little less heavy. Whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, working to release the mom guilt will lead to a happier life!Links & Resources:20% off your purchase of Thorne20% off at Vuori ClothingHERself Episode 12 - Mom Guilt: How We’re Working Through ItLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Divorce is a heavy topic, but it happens and that’s why we thought it was important to bring you this episode. We are so lucky to have Kate Anthony as our guest for today. Kate is a divorce coach who helps women decide if they should stay or leave their marriages and is a wealth of knowledge of the divorce process. Whether today’s episode applies to you personally or not, it could be helpful for your sister, friend, or other family member. We hope you take what you need from today’s interview with Kate and pass this episode along to someone you know who may need the information too.There are two big common misconceptions about divorce that Kate breaks down for us. Lots of people think that couple’s therapy may be the first step towards reconciliation. However, it is not always the answer and Kate tells us which marriage scenarios should actually avoid it. If divorce is the route you choose, Kate shares with us how she thinks you should go about the first steps of the process as well as some important “do’s and don’ts” of divorce. If you, our listener, is living in an unhealthy marriage, we want you to know that you deserve to be happy. Reach out to a marriage coach, someone like Kate, who can help you discern what your next steps should be and utilize their resources. You deserve happiness and we support you! Links & Resources:Free sample pack with purchase of LMNT10% off at BETTERHELPFollow Kate on InstagramKate’s WebsiteListen to Kate’s Podcast: Divorce Survival Guide PodcastPurchase Kate’s Book; “The D Word”Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.