The Calm Advantage: Chris Voss on Negotiation, Empathy, and the Psychology of Influence

Chris Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator, bestselling author of Never Split the Difference, and one of the world’s leading experts on high-stakes communication. In this conversation, Brett and Chris explore what negotiation really is and why most of us misunderstand it entirely.Before he was teaching executives and founders how to navigate boardrooms, Chris was negotiating with terrorists, kidnappers, and people on the brink of taking their own lives. What he learned in those moments wasn’t about dominance or control. It was about understanding.They discuss the neuroscience of calm, why your nervous system is always negotiating before your words are, and how empathy, not agreement, not sympathy, becomes the most powerful tool in moments of conflict. Chris breaks down the internal “chatter” that sabotages us in difficult conversations and explains why curiosity is a competitive advantage in leadership, relationships, and business.This episode moves beyond tactics and into something deeper: how we regulate ourselves under pressure, how we create psychological safety, and why feeling understood can release potent forces for change.Whether you’re navigating a high-stakes negotiation, leading through tension, or simply trying to communicate more effectively in your personal life, this conversation reframes what influence truly means.

Vanessa Bennett is a depth psychologist, therapist, and author of The Motherhood Myth. In this conversation, Brett and Vanessa go all the way back. Vanessa grew up as a parentified child in a single-parent home — the overachiever who learned early that love was something you earned through achievement, not something freely given.At 25, a close friend told her she always seemed angry. That one honest observation cracked her open. It sent her into therapy, yoga, Al-Anon, and eventually across the country — alone, at 30 — to leave her career in New York advertising, end a long-term relationship, and start over completely. Her work now sits at the intersection of depth psychology, spirituality, and the real, unfiltered experience of being human. And when she became a mother, two weeks before COVID lockdown, the myths she'd spent years studying became impossible to ignore. This is a conversation about what actually heals us. And what gets in the way.

For years, The Gravity Podcast created space for meaningful conversations around business, creativity, and personal growth.But over the past year, something shifted.In this episode, Brett shares why he realized he was playing the external game — building, scaling, optimizing — and why he now wants to play a bigger game: the game of consciousness.After attending Abundance 360 and hearing Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Richard Branson present their visions for space travel, Brett entered a deep therapeutic and spiritual process that led to a powerful realization: while we are investing extraordinary energy into exploring outer space, most of us have barely explored the vastness inside ourselves.INNERSPACE is born from that insight.This podcast will trace the psychological and emotional origin stories of builders, creators, leaders, and seekers — starting with childhood and following the invisible threads forward.Less performance.More presence.More honesty about the human experience.The first guest episode drops Thursday, 2/19.Welcome to INNERSPACE.

In this very special 200th episode, host Brett Kaufman takes a heartfelt pause to reflect on the journey of the Gravity Podcast. What started as a simple idea for recording meaningful coffee conversations has turned into a five-year archive of deep, vulnerable, and inspiring stories. With no roadmap in hand, the podcast became a space to explore the human experience and build a conscious community around authenticity and connection.To celebrate the milestone, Brett revisits standout moments from some of his most impactful guests: people who have shaped the Gravity conversation and helped listeners feel a little more seen in their own lives.Today on Gravity: Chet Scott reminds us why real, connected community is essential to human survival and resilience.Jenny Britton of Jeni’s Ice Cream shares a deeply personal turning point and how her body, not her brain, guided her back to alignment.John Kim (The Angry Therapist) opens up about authenticity, healing, and the importance of embodied experiences.James Clear, bestselling author of Atomic Habits, talks about designing your life as a creative act—and how living intentionally is itself a form of art.Bob Roth, CEO of the David Lynch Foundation, reflects on his decades-long journey with Transcendental Meditation and making the practice accessible without the fluff.Lewis Howes shares his path through trauma and adversity, and how he transformed pain into purpose.Maggie Smith, poet and bestselling author, gets real about heartbreak, motherhood, and the creative process of turning personal pain into art that heals others.LEARN MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST:The Gravity Podcast - Available on Apple and SpotifyLEARN MORE ABOUT GRAVITY:The Gravity ProjectGravity on InstagramLEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOST:Brett KaufmanBrett Kaufman on Instagram

In this re-released episode in tribute to the great David Lynch, Brett Kaufman welcomes Bob Roth, one of the most experienced meditation teachers in the US and author of the New York Times bestseller “Strength in Stillness: The Power of Transcendental Meditation.” With nearly 50 years of experience, Bob has introduced thousands to the practice of Transcendental Meditation. As the CEO of the David Lynch Foundation, he has championed the cause of teaching meditation to over a million at-risk individuals across 35 countries. Bob shares his transformative journey, from witnessing Robert Kennedy's impactful speech and aspiring to be a Senator to his life-altering introduction to TM at the University of California, Berkeley. He delves into his early life, his father's wartime trauma, and the family's move to Marin County. Bob underscores the universality of trauma and the profound role of TM in calming the brain's amygdala, fostering resilience, and promoting overall well-being.Today on Gravity:Bob Roth's childhood, influences, and experiencing Berkeley in the '60sBob’s personal journey with Transcendental MeditationScience and benefits of TMAddressing trauma through TM and its societal impactDavid Lynch's influence and the expansion of TM in ColumbusLEARN MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST:The Gravity Podcast - Available on Apple and SpotifyLEARN MORE ABOUT GRAVITY:The Gravity ProjectGravity on InstagramLEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOST:Brett KaufmanBrett Kaufman on Instagram

“As a human being you look at a situation and say the intuition, I have there's potential within myself that hasn't come out yet and I want to enliven that I want to live life in a way that I'm doing my best and enjoying and meditation is the field for that.” – Cary DavisToday on Gravity:Cary’s childhood and growing up in West VirginiaCary’s early adulthood in the service and discovering meditationStudying Transcendental Meditation and becoming a certified teacherThe science behind meditation and proven health benefitsMeditation as a tool for living a healthier & more fulfilled lifeConnect with Cary Davis:Website: tm.org/columbusLEARN MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST:The Gravity Podcast - Available on Apple and SpotifyLEARN MORE ABOUT GRAVITY:The Gravity ProjectGravity on InstagramLEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOST:Brett KaufmanBrett Kaufman on Instagram

"That's where the growth is. It's not about all the tricks, it's just about the consistency, creating that new pattern. And then once you create that new pattern, you can start to be the architect of the life that you want." – Joshua SteckelToday on Gravity:Joshua’s childhood and being homeschooledJoshua’s weight loss journey in adolescence and developing lasting habitsHow Joshua uses his faith to guide him in becoming the best version of himselfJoshua discovered breathwork practice while recovering from serious injuries in his 20sBreathwork as part of the GRO Transformational Wellness Program at the Green|House communityBuilding lasting health habits Connect with Joshua Steckel:Instagram: @j_smooth_movement, @prismperformancecenterWebsite: prism-performance-center.comLEARN MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST:The Gravity Podcast - Available on Apple and SpotifyLEARN MORE ABOUT GRAVITY:Website: gravityproject.comInstagram: @gravitycolumbusLEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOST:Website: brettkaufman.comInstagram: @brettkaufman

"You don't have to publish, you don't have to be a writer in terms of writing a book, but you've just got to, you've got to write to author a great life." – Chet ScottToday on Gravity:Reframing self-talk and learning to speak into yourself Running on fear versus running on loveOvercoming adversity and finding gratitudeThe power of journaling and authoring your own lifeConnect with Chet Scott:LinkedIn: Chet ScottWebsite: builttolead.comLEARN MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST:The Gravity Podcast - Available on Apple and SpotifyLEARN MORE ABOUT GRAVITY:The Gravity ProjectGravity on InstagramLEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOST:Brett KaufmanBrett Kaufman on Instagram

"There's something bigger than you or I, an energy that is more powerful. I think that being able to recognize the fact that there is something more powerful than my being and that's a good thing that we don't have all that control." – Nicole DavisATTENTION: This episode contains discussions of topics that may be triggering to some listeners. Please check the show notes prior to listening.Today on Gravity:Nicole’s childhood and growing up in Los AngelesNavigating her mother’s addiction and suicide with the support of her fatherNicole’s adolescence and her own struggle with substance abuseGetting sober and becoming a motherDeveloping a community and launching a business through social mediaConnect with Nicole Davis:Instagram: mamanicoledavis, @foundgoods, @houragencyWebsite: foundgoodsvintage.com LEARN MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST:The Gravity Podcast - Available on Apple and SpotifyLEARN MORE ABOUT GRAVITY:The Gravity ProjectGravity on InstagramLEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOST:Brett KaufmanBrett Kaufman on Instagram

“It's so fun to see this community organically grow. And nothing makes me happier than when I teach group training and seeing the group form new friendships. it's beautiful.”– Kara ShafferToday on Gravity:Kara’s childhood and growing up as a competitive gymnastBecoming a collegiate athleteChanging course on a path to self-discovery and acceptanceKara pursuing coaching and uncovering her calling to teach othersDeveloping a career as a fitness coachKara’s role in the Green|House GRO program as the expert for movementConnect with Kara Shaffer:Instagram: @karashaffermoves Website: karashaffermoves.comLEARN MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST:The Gravity Podcast - Available on Apple and SpotifyLEARN MORE ABOUT GRAVITY:The Gravity ProjectGravity on InstagramLEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOST:Brett KaufmanBrett Kaufman on Instagram