S1E17: It's still just so hard

How do I manage each day when I feel like the Victim? When I feel the disappointment. When I feel the loss? Im learning how to first find the Shame, then to sit with it and let it transform into Empowered Creator energy. Sit with me in my process and see how I am doing it.

Dr. Nima Rahmany has been the lynch pin in my learning process.Beyond therapy, beyond blame, beyond, beyond, beyond. He teaches relational skills that are rooted in somatic practices and shadow work. Together, these tools provide the outline that one needs to get deeper. Deeper into the Why. Deeper into Self. Deeper into what truly matters.My 9 months with Dr. Nima have completely changed my world. They have allowed me to become "Trigger Proof" and resilient. They have allowed me to develop a practice of truly integrating my "parts" and understand myself from within. They have allowed me to find peace, EVEN WHEN I remain alienated from my kids.To find Dr. Nima: https://becometriggerproof.com

Playing with a song generator.This version really hit home.

As I began to understand my relationship dynamic with my father (Part 1 of this video), I was clearly shown how that dynamic played a role in my relationship with my daughters.How my tactics for finding validation and love, led to the intense emotions that I express, that not only made my dad afraid of me, but it turns out, also lent to my daughters feeling afraid of me.Oh, what a difficult, but important realization.

I just completed a 3 day journey -- doing guided journey work on my relationship with my father. What I came away with, was not what I had thought I would come away with... Rather than explanations of why he acted the way he acted, I came away with a clear understanding of MY PART in the relationship, which made getting my needs from him harder to achieve. Humbling.... This first part uncovers my relationship with my Dad. The second part uncovers how this relates to my relationship with my daughters. Enlightening.

Even with the tools, the self-love, the shadow work, the parts work, etc... the fact remains that I am not in contact with my kids. It is simply hard.

We all suffer when we fight reality. The distance from what our fantasy of reality is, to the actual state of reality is the place where we suffer. Here is a process to work with those covert fantasies and turn them from suffering into unconditional love.

How do I manage loneliness during estrangement? I use tools -- mostly Sarah Blondin's mediations -- to connect to my inner-self, and pour love on my parts that are needing attention. Check out how easy this is.If you need practice and guidance (you most assuredly do) then here is Sarah Blondin's site for the Course "This Deepest Self"It is the best $40 you can spend.

Sometimes we really mess up a conversation. Even on with solidly good intentions, can be heard by our children in the opposite way. This happened to me. It was used against me in court. But mostly, it made my daughter feel unsafe, and that is the most tragic part of it all. And the shame around this event, has been hard to reconcile. So, here is the story, and here is how I would approach it differently, and here is how I reconcile the shame.

How do you move out of victim and into powerful creator? You take a look at the covert fantasies that you may be having. You look at what reality is showing you, and you work WITH reality, rather than fight against it. This helps you move out of victim mentality, as you begin to understand that things are the way way they are. Its powerful.