#423 - Gareth Guffer, Dune July and Planet Credit Score

John and Producer Dave are back from a high after John turned 2,000 revellers up to eleven with his problematic walk in music. Elis has questions but Robins simply adds so much value to live events. And he’s been adding his own energy to another live event - that of the singles night variety. And he sure did set the vibe by diving straight in with tube station facts as an ice breaker.The dating scene is perched on the lips elsewhere as there’s a fantastic suggestion from a listener about the best ways to judge a potential partner. Namely footwell, fridge and friend.Plus the ball begins to be rolled on the great lilts of the globe in the UNESCO Accents World Cup.Are you from Mississippi or Boston? If you are then voicenote us on +447974 293 022 or attach a voicenote on [email protected].

You’ve probably heard it whispered on the train on your way into work. You’ve likely heard mutterings about it on the concourse at the football. And you’ve almost certainly heard your grandma claim it at Sunday dinner. Well, this episode confirms the rumours; no one else is doing this.Especially if by ‘this’ you mean an extensive chat about spare pants, an extraordinary insight into the ice cream van outside the BBC’s broadcasting hub, and an update on a boggle tournament. For this is a show that covers more topics than the world’s best stocked library. It’s the wonders of Adrian Chiles one moment, grief granola the next.Sitting atop all these topics is a palpable sense of excitement surrounding the nation’s longest running opening set of Made Up Games. Johnny JR is currently on set point; can he channel his inner Andy Murray and secure that long-awaiting victory?If you want to throw a topic of conversation into the hat, send it to [email protected], or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

We join our heroes during a telling off session, because someone is being a naughty boy. Has John eaten too much chocolate on the way in and he’s about to experience the mother of all choco crashes? Has Elis insisted that we scrap the proposed running order to talk instead about every conceivable permutation of the Nations League? Or could Producer Dave be the one in the firing line…?After the air has been cleared, it’s pumped full of excitement. Elis receives quite possibly the greatest bit of post to leave Postman Dave’s sack since its creation, and John relishes the prospect of ball-by-ball cricket commentary.There’s muscle chat, zoo chat, and a tiny bit of (sorry) worlde chat.You too can get involved with the Elis and John ‘No One Else is Doing This’ podcast. Email [email protected], or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

Acceptance is the word on everybody’s lips today, but it has different meanings for Elis and John. For John it’s a meaningful form of accepting things as they are in life. For Elis it’s about accepting that his wife Isy will never be interested in the Nations League. Both are valid, I'm sure you'll agree.Also getting in on the acceptance game is this week’s special guest, Harriet Kemsley, fresh from her appearance on Last One Laughing. Her form of acceptance centres around dating, and together everyone questions whether Harriet should really be hosting a dating podcast…Elsewhere, there’s a humdinger of a Cymru Connection (complete with surprise connections left, right and centre) and John tallies up the wins and losses in the second instalment of John Wins Again.If you want to get in on all the acceptance fun, get in touch via email: [email protected], or WhatsApp: 07974 293 022.

Elis and Producer Dave are fresh from taking breaths of the night DJ’ing. The only two people on planet Earth to become hipper as they age. But Mixmag has it that Elis spent most of it seated. Because that’s what the top DJs do. Harris, Tong, Guetta, all from a seated position whilst sucking on Werther’s Originals.Yes Elis got a little bit tired bless him and John simply isn't willing to let him forget it. Elsewhere there’s 7 minutes of observational stand up which is hot to go to the nimblest comic, and just when you thought guff chat had tooted its last parp there’s a hall of famer piece of correspondence.And if you root around there’s also some lovely Mallett stuff and two big daddy Mad Dads amidst some top drawer listener generated content.To get in touch with your own gold standard contributions then get it to [email protected] or WhatsApp it on 07974 293 022 if you like your messaging a little fruitier.

John’s managed to pick himself up after last Friday’s show. Well to a certain degree at least - thank the lord. But the collective vibe scale is nudged handsomely towards ‘winning’ as Elis has had one of his all time great days. Cycling? Check. Wales? Check. All time hero who laughs at every single one of his jokes? Check.So it’s all the fun of the fair today. The topics of ‘banning pranks’, ‘the greatest accents of the world’ and ‘how to pad out an autobiography” float around the apple bobbing content tub, ready for the boys to sink their teeth into.And while you’re here, check out the Bureau de Change of the Mind bonus episodes in the feed. Last time out there were some real surprise thrills. That’s only on BBC Sounds.Have you got a UNESCO accent or know someone who does? Well voice note it to us on 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp, or add it to an email (however that’s done) to [email protected].

We’ve hit a low ebb. The show which won Best Entertainment Podcast at the British Podcast Awards just a few years ago is dredging the bottom of the barrel. That new low being production staff researching their credit scores ‘live’ on the show. Throw in a chat with an expert on credit ratings and it’s a wall to wall credit ball.And at such an ebb one would have thought it would lift the mood of Robins. This is him. Distilled Robins. But no. Rather, it’s broken him, because Dave has a 999 credit score without even having a credit card. Something which he simply cannot recover from. And this has affected the mood.What ensues is a breakdown. A breakdown over being unable to nudge the needle from 999 to 1000. And a breakdown over autofilling card details on a laptop. And that’s not the end of it as we see the dangers of a John with access to a credit expert on demand. Somebody break glass for a kilo of Dairy Milk to save us for the Tuesday episode record.Do you have something thrilling to add to this enthralling credit chat? The chances are remote but it’s [email protected] or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp if you want to subject the production staff to some light reading.

Huge news in Elis and John towers today, for Producer Dave bumped into the man, the myth, the Solero supper himself, Mr Tim Davie. Could he use this opportunity to pitch a brand new true crime podcast about dupes from Stockport who get sold fake shoes? Well that commission’s ripe for the taking if there’s a Magnum that goes the other way.Alongside yet more DG discussion Elis really thinks he should get into juggling, for some inexplicable reason, and we have a game which makes the greatest use of a beat since the invention of the bass drum. To get in touch with the boys send anything you’ve got to [email protected] or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.

The sun is shining, blossom is blooming and death and divorce are on the lips. Oh the joys of spring. For how is John going to bid farewell when he and his wheels go off to the great scrapheap in the sky? And how does the statistical likelihood of marriage breakup impact the need to draw cold hard financial lines in the sand? It’s all cheery stuff but amidst all that joy Elis has to bring the tone down by documenting one of his great weeks in North Macedonia with the venerable Eggy. (Think ‘scenes’, ‘limbs’ and ‘Matthew The Pharmacist’). Plus there’s a great bath-based Mad Dad to soak yourself in and John wants to get a credit expert on the show. ‘Which other comedy podcasts are doing that?’ I hear you ask. None. Precisely none. Do you want to turn on the faucets of content? Well fill up our big bubbly bath of listener input via [email protected] and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

Palin, Chalmers, Livingstone… Robins(?!). Yes, gliding into the show today is one of Britain’s greatest travellers. An adventurer unequalled in the 21st century. Because John has been on his once per 9 months short haul trip. Naples has experienced Robins, and he it. With such pizza consumption and the undoubted oscillation between ‘hungry’ and ‘full’, Elis struggles to believe that he can actually have been a laugh there.But filled with more pies than than all the ninja turtles combined, Robins has a pep in his step for what proves to be a Billy Belter of a show. The boys dig into the practicalities of 007 if he flew Ryanair and there’s a classic double whammy of a Shame.Plus, there’s something new bursting through the pipes. No it’s not potable tap water or natural gas, but something far more important to John’s existence: wins.Want to drop us a line? Well [email protected] and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp are the media of choice.