E38: Stop Overthinking Your Dom/sub Dynamic

Send your thoughts via textChief and Moineau discuss Stephanie Goerlich's book 'With Sprinkles on Top' and the importance of communication in bridging the gap between kinky and vanilla partners.We compare mental fantasies with real-world practicality (including threesome and more-some discussions!), as well as negotiating and compromising in relationships.We then try out two exercises from the book - a mad-lib style desire sharing exercise, and one to gauge our comfort levels with erotic language.If you're a kinky person looking for ways to improve your relationship and get more comfortable sharing your desires with a partner then this podcast is for you!Resources:Stephanie Goerlich's website: https://www.stefanigoerlich.comThe PDF of exercises: https://www.stefanigoerlich.com/negotiationwkshts.htmlOur website: https://kinkyevents.co.ukTimestamps:00:00 Introduction00:58 Kinky Statistics02:28 Introducing the Book: With Sprinkles on Top04:39 Exploring Kink and Communication06:50 Personal Kink Experiences and Fantasies10:01 Discussing Threesomes and Boundaries24:06 Fantasy Worksheet Exercise33:42 Exploring Desires and Fantasies34:19 Power Dynamics and Control35:24 Communication and Connection37:05 Erotic Vocabulary Exercise--------------Enjoyed the episode? Take your sex life to new heights and turn your fantasies into reality with my book and courses. Your dream dynamic is just a step away! The BDSM Bundle: Get my two best selling digital courses, plus my ebook as a bonus (https://courses.kinkyevents.co.uk/bundles/bdsm-bundle).Sensational Scenes. Learn how to heighten arousal, induce subspace, and have mind-blowing sexual experiences. Pick up a copy of my ebook today (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/book).The Art of Submission. Become a confident submissive and make your kinky fantasies a reality with our online video course for subs (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/aos).Sinful Shibari: Learn rope bondage for couples with our online video course (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/sinful-shibari).Freebies: Free ebook, sex menu template, and email content ...

Send your thoughts via textChief presents 30 varied exercises designed to improve communication skills within BDSM and D/s relationships. These activities aim to deepen the connection, enhance understanding, and ultimately lead to a better sex life. Ranging from joint journaling and desire mapping to more elaborate setups like role-reversal games and fantasy sharing, each exercise builds upon the previous ones.Each exercise is discussed briefly, including instructions and several resources for each activity, emphasising the flexibility of the exercises to suit individual dynamics.The episode encourages couples to actively practice these exercises to foster trust, empathy, and a more satisfying relationship.00:00 Introduction to 30 Communication Exercises00:30 Why Communication Matters in D/s Relationships01:28 How to Approach These Exercises02:03 Week 1: Foundation of Communication02:08 Day 1: Joint Journaling02:28 Day 2: Desire Mapping03:22 Day 3: Create Safe Words03:44 Day 4: Daily Check-Ins04:02 Day 5: Feedback Session04:40 Day 6: Communication Games06:11 Day 7: Weekly Reflection06:30 Week 2: Exploration and Education06:50 Day 8: Research Assignment07:19 Day 9: Sensation Play Experiment08:06 Day 10: Role Reversal08:29 Day 11: Boundary Testing09:35 Day 12: Kink Workshop or Webinar10:38 Day 13: Fantasy Sharing11:12 Day 14: Weekly Reflection11:40 Week 3: Deepening Trust and Connection11:47 Day 15: Trust Exercises12:08 Day 16: Gratitude Lists12:24 Day 17: Surprise Day12:43 Day 18: Vulnerability Night13:10 Day 19: D/s Day Out13:46 Day 20: Aftercare Focus14:06 Day 21: Weekly Reflection14:41 Week 4: Integration and Future Planning14:48 Day 22: Dynamic Goal Setting15:18 Day 23: Contract Review/Creation15:58 Day 24: Creative Play16:31 Day 25: Self Care Day16:47 Day 26: Community Engagement17:15 Day 27: Legacy Letter17:45 Day 28: Celebration Session18:27 Day 29-30: Reflection and Relaxation18:53 Conclusion and Final Thoughts--------------Enjoyed the episode? Take your sex life to new heights and turn your fantasies into reality with my book and courses. Your dream dynamic is just a step away! The BDSM Bundle: Get my two best selling digital courses, plus my ebook as a bonus (https://courses.kinkyevents.co.uk/bundles/bdsm-bundle).Sensational Scenes. Learn how to heighten arousal, induce subspace, and have mind-blowing sexual experiences. Pick up a copy of my ebook today (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/book).The Art of Submission. Become a confident submissive and make your kinky fantasies a reality with our online video course for subs (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/aos).Sinful Shibari: Learn rope bondage for couples with our online video course (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/sinful-shibari).Freebies: Free ebook, sex menu template, and email content ...

Send your thoughts via textChief and Moineau share a candid conversation about their recent intimate and sensual experience. They discuss reading explicit sexting exchanges, the buildup of sexual tension, and the psychological and physical aspects of their BDSM and DS relationship. The conversation covers themes of edging, teasing, and the importance of understanding and meeting each other's needs. They also highlight the roles of communication and consent in their dynamic, delving into a detailed recount of a night filled with massages, dirty talk, and slow, anticipatory teasing, culminating in deep emotional and physical connection.00:00 Introduction and Naughty Sexting01:51 Dreams and Desires04:56 Consent and Boundaries07:25 Anticipation and Preparation16:36 Unexpected Massage25:07 Teasing and Restraints30:39 Building Anticipation: The Art of Teasing31:19 Exploring Sensitivity: Techniques and Reactions33:30 Roleplay Dynamics: Daddy's Not Supposed to Touch34:09 Graphic Details: Fingering and Feedback35:58 The Fantasy and the Reality: Toys and Tools36:54 Psychological Elements in BDSM39:17 The Importance of Relaxation and Comfort43:23 Edging and Penetration: The Balancing Act46:21 The Climax: Achieving Multiple Orgasms51:55 Aftercare and Reflection52:27 Final Thoughts and Resources--------------Enjoyed the episode? Take your sex life to new heights and turn your fantasies into reality with my book and courses. Your dream dynamic is just a step away! The BDSM Bundle: Get my two best selling digital courses, plus my ebook as a bonus (https://courses.kinkyevents.co.uk/bundles/bdsm-bundle).Sensational Scenes. Learn how to heighten arousal, induce subspace, and have mind-blowing sexual experiences. Pick up a copy of my ebook today (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/book).The Art of Submission. Become a confident submissive and make your kinky fantasies a reality with our online video course for subs (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/aos).Sinful Shibari: Learn rope bondage for couples with our online video course (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/sinful-shibari).Freebies: Free ebook, sex menu template, and email content ...

Send your thoughts via textChief and Moineau revisit their Sex Menus from March 2020, and chat through what's changed and what hasn't. This episode highlights why a Sex Menu is such a fantastic tool for open communication in relationships. They showcase how such candid discussions can significantly enhance intimacy and satisfaction, foster a deeper understanding between partners, encourage exploration, and ultimately improve your sex life. Whether you're deeply embedded in the BDSM community or just curious about enhancing communication and desire in your relationship, this episode provides a real-world example of how embracing change and being open about your sexual wants can lead to more fulfilling experiences.--------------Enjoyed the episode? Take your sex life to new heights and turn your fantasies into reality with my book and courses. Your dream dynamic is just a step away! The BDSM Bundle: Get my two best selling digital courses, plus my ebook as a bonus (https://courses.kinkyevents.co.uk/bundles/bdsm-bundle).Sensational Scenes. Learn how to heighten arousal, induce subspace, and have mind-blowing sexual experiences. Pick up a copy of my ebook today (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/book).The Art of Submission. Become a confident submissive and make your kinky fantasies a reality with our online video course for subs (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/aos).Sinful Shibari: Learn rope bondage for couples with our online video course (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/sinful-shibari).Freebies: Free ebook, sex menu template, and email content ...

Send your thoughts via textChief and Moineau spill the beans on finding BDSM events and making kinky friends. It’s a no-holds-barred chat filled with personal anecdotes, laughter, and a heap of useful tips for anyone curious about or already exploring the world of BDSM.They tackle everything from the ins and outs of FetLife to the unique charm of munches, all while keeping it real about the ups and downs of connecting in the community.Whether you're navigating the scene in a buzzing city or a quiet town, this episode packs everything you need to broaden your kinky social circle and step up your BDSM game, served with a side of cheeky humour and warmth.[00:01:16] Finding BDSM Events: The hosts discuss starting with FetLife and the significance of attending munches to meet the community.[00:03:03] Challenges for Women on FetLife: Moineau shares her experiences with the platform, highlighting the importance of safety and privacy.[00:04:11] Utilizing FetLife for Events, Not Dating: Chief elaborates on how FetLife serves best for finding events rather than forming personal connections.[00:09:30] Word of Mouth: Emphasizing the value of personal recommendations in discovering events and making kinky friends.[00:10:06] Collaborative Events: The hosts discuss how event newsletters from groups like Fox Den can introduce attendees to broader networks.[00:14:00] Finding BDSM-friendly Events on Vanilla Platforms: Suggestions for locating events with a BDSM twist on sites like Eventbrite.[00:16:48] Gender Dynamics at Munches: An observation on the male-dominated attendance and strategies for women to find more inclusive spaces.[00:18:00] Alternative Social Gatherings: Exploring book clubs and erotic poetry readings as unconventional avenues to meet kinky individuals.[00:22:31] Sex-positive Charities as Networking Hubs: Highlighting the role of charities in connecting people with the BDSM community.[00:24:11] Different Types of BDSM Events: Distinguishing between social, educational, and play-focused events to align with personal interests.[00:26:53] The Challenge of Finding the Right Events: Acknowledging the effort required to find fitting BDSM events and the r--------------Enjoyed the episode? Take your sex life to new heights and turn your fantasies into reality with my book and courses. Your dream dynamic is just a step away! The BDSM Bundle: Get my two best selling digital courses, plus my ebook as a bonus (https://courses.kinkyevents.co.uk/bundles/bdsm-bundle).Sensational Scenes. Learn how to heighten arousal, induce subspace, and have mind-blowing sexual experiences. Pick up a copy of my ebook today (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/book).The Art of Submission. Become a confident submissive and make your kinky fantasies a reality with our online video course for subs (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/aos).Sinful Shibari: Learn rope bondage for couples with our online video course (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/sinful-shibari).Freebies: Free ebook, sex menu template, and email content ...

Send your thoughts via textChief and Moineau sit down with Liz who recently introduced D/s into an existing long-term relationship. With humour and candidness, Liz shares their initial steps, challenges, and the profound impact of BDSM on their connection and communication. From confronting fears and preconceptions to utilising practical tools like the sex menu for negotiating desires, this episode is a testament to the transformative power of open dialogue and trust in rekindling intimacy.Join us for an enlightening discussion that demystifies the transition into a D/s lifestyle, offering insights and encouragement for those curious about the path of sexual exploration and deepened partnership.Key Points & Timestamps:[00:00:26] Liz discusses beginning their D/s journey and overcoming challenges related to depression and medication.[00:03:21] Chief and Liz reflect on how D/s dynamics can revive intimacy in long-term relationships.[00:04:30] Introduction of the sex menu as a transformative tool for couples.[00:06:02] Liz shares the initial conversation with Tom about exploring a D/s relationship, highlighting the importance of communication.[00:07:59] Transitioning from minimal communication about sex to frequent, open dialogues.[00:12:34] Liz describes the liberating aspect of submission in her otherwise dominant life roles.[00:14:17] Discussion on the gradual introduction and evolution of D/s dynamics in a relationship.[00:15:22] Homework assignments as a method for exploring and expressing desires within the D/s context.[00:18:40] Overcoming a hiccup in a scene and the importance of safe words and aftercare.[00:23:20] Liz shares the positive changes and deeper connection in her relationship since embracing D/s, encouraging open discussions about sex and desires.[00:29:14] Surprises and adjustments made after filling out the sex menu.[00:32:39] Liz emphasizes the importance of overcoming fear and engaging in open communication with partners.[00:38:14] Looking forward to the future of their D/s dynamic and exploring new activities together.[00:41:48] Final thoughts: The significance of c--------------Enjoyed the episode? Take your sex life to new heights and turn your fantasies into reality with my book and courses. Your dream dynamic is just a step away! The BDSM Bundle: Get my two best selling digital courses, plus my ebook as a bonus (https://courses.kinkyevents.co.uk/bundles/bdsm-bundle).Sensational Scenes. Learn how to heighten arousal, induce subspace, and have mind-blowing sexual experiences. Pick up a copy of my ebook today (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/book).The Art of Submission. Become a confident submissive and make your kinky fantasies a reality with our online video course for subs (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/aos).Sinful Shibari: Learn rope bondage for couples with our online video course (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/sinful-shibari).Freebies: Free ebook, sex menu template, and email content ...

Send your thoughts via textIn this episode Chief clears up misconceptions about the BDSM and Dom/sub lifestyle. With a wealth of experience and knowledge, Chief discusses and debunks eight prevalent myths. Whether you're new to the scene or looking for clarity on certain aspects of BDSM, this episode is packed with insights, advice, and a call for open-mindedness and consent above all.Join us as we explore the true nature of power play and empower you with the knowledge to engage in healthy, consensual BDSM dynamics.--------------Enjoyed the episode? Take your sex life to new heights and turn your fantasies into reality with my book and courses. Your dream dynamic is just a step away! The BDSM Bundle: Get my two best selling digital courses, plus my ebook as a bonus (https://courses.kinkyevents.co.uk/bundles/bdsm-bundle).Sensational Scenes. Learn how to heighten arousal, induce subspace, and have mind-blowing sexual experiences. Pick up a copy of my ebook today (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/book).The Art of Submission. Become a confident submissive and make your kinky fantasies a reality with our online video course for subs (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/aos).Sinful Shibari: Learn rope bondage for couples with our online video course (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/sinful-shibari).Freebies: Free ebook, sex menu template, and email content ...

Send your thoughts via textWhat’s it REALLY like to visit a professional Dominatrix? In this episode of Conversations wtih a Dom Chief, Moineau, and their guest Tom, discuss his experiences of visiting a professional Domme. It's an honest and educational look at personal growth and exploration in BDSM, tailored for those curious about or involved in the lifestyle. You’ll hear:Tom's journey: How personal circumstances led him to explore BDSM and seek professional Dominatrices.How to find the right Dominatrix for you: Where to find them, the process of choosing a Dominatrix, and tips for initiating contact.What really happens in a session: Examples of what Dominatrices do and don’t do, and how you should communicate with them.Why fantasy and reality aren’t the same: Insights into the expectations versus the realities of BDSM play, emphasising consent, communication, and safety.How Tom’s experiences have impacted him personally: Tom's reflections on how these experiences have facilitated personal discovery and emotional growth.Tune in for an authentic conversation that demystifies the world of professional domination.--------------Enjoyed the episode? Take your sex life to new heights and turn your fantasies into reality with my book and courses. Your dream dynamic is just a step away! The BDSM Bundle: Get my two best selling digital courses, plus my ebook as a bonus (https://courses.kinkyevents.co.uk/bundles/bdsm-bundle).Sensational Scenes. Learn how to heighten arousal, induce subspace, and have mind-blowing sexual experiences. Pick up a copy of my ebook today (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/book).The Art of Submission. Become a confident submissive and make your kinky fantasies a reality with our online video course for subs (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/aos).Sinful Shibari: Learn rope bondage for couples with our online video course (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/sinful-shibari).Freebies: Free ebook, sex menu template, and email content ...

Send your thoughts via textIn this episode, we dive deep into the world of pup play, and neurodivergence. Joining us as our guest is Puppy Ripley (aka Sir Kris), to talk about their personal experiences with autism, pup play, and their kink journey. They share their story about how they got into Pup play, their transition from Alpha pup to Dom, and their involvement in Puppy Ireland and charity work. Plus, we explore how pup play has been a supportive tool for them in relation to their autism and discuss ways the BDSM community can become more inclusive for individuals with autism and neurodivergence. Many thanks to Puppy Ripley, and we hope you love the episode.Useful linksInstagram: @puppyripley, @pupsofirelandSwitchboardKinky Events--------------Enjoyed the episode? Take your sex life to new heights and turn your fantasies into reality with my book and courses. Your dream dynamic is just a step away! The BDSM Bundle: Get my two best selling digital courses, plus my ebook as a bonus (https://courses.kinkyevents.co.uk/bundles/bdsm-bundle).Sensational Scenes. Learn how to heighten arousal, induce subspace, and have mind-blowing sexual experiences. Pick up a copy of my ebook today (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/book).The Art of Submission. Become a confident submissive and make your kinky fantasies a reality with our online video course for subs (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/aos).Sinful Shibari: Learn rope bondage for couples with our online video course (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/sinful-shibari).Freebies: Free ebook, sex menu template, and email content ...

Send your thoughts via textDo you overthink your BDSM scenes or D/s dynamic? In this episode, Chief shares his thoughts on why overthinking the details can kill the mood in the bedroom and make your D/s dynamic trickier. He also discusses areas you SHOULD be thinking about instead, and ways to ensure your Dom/sub relationship is on the right track.--------------Enjoyed the episode? Take your sex life to new heights and turn your fantasies into reality with my book and courses. Your dream dynamic is just a step away! The BDSM Bundle: Get my two best selling digital courses, plus my ebook as a bonus (https://courses.kinkyevents.co.uk/bundles/bdsm-bundle).Sensational Scenes. Learn how to heighten arousal, induce subspace, and have mind-blowing sexual experiences. Pick up a copy of my ebook today (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/book).The Art of Submission. Become a confident submissive and make your kinky fantasies a reality with our online video course for subs (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/aos).Sinful Shibari: Learn rope bondage for couples with our online video course (https://kinkyevents.co.uk/sinful-shibari).Freebies: Free ebook, sex menu template, and email content ...