I Was Losing My Memory and Didn’t Know Why

Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussion of sexual abuse and trauma. Listener discretion is advised.Amanda Stanhope was recently featured in reporting by CNN on drug-facilitated sexual abuse, where she shared her personal story—part of a broader conversation gaining attention after survivors like Gisèle Pelicot helped bring this issue into the spotlight.What began as an intense relationship quickly shifted. Amanda started experiencing memory loss, confusion, and physical symptoms she couldn’t explain, at one point believing she might be developing Alzheimer’s. Over time, she came to realize she had been being sexually assaulted while unconscious.In this conversation, Amanda shares how the relationship unfolded, what made the abuse so difficult to recognize in real time, and the challenges she faced in seeking help and reporting what happened. She also speaks to how trauma can show up in the body, and why greater awareness of this kind of abuse is critical.Episode Resources:Victim ResourcesCNN Article: Exposing a global ‘rape academy’Article: She Was Asleep While It Happened: Gisèle Pelicot and the Disturbing Rise of “Sleep Porn”Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of sexual addiction, infidelity, and suicide attempts. Listener discretion is advised. Chris Bennett is a life coach who helps individuals and couples work through sexual addiction, shame, and compulsive behaviors. But long before he was helping others, he was living a double life—hiding years of pornography use and engaging in multiple affairs during his marriage.In this episode, Chris shares how his relationship with pornography began at a young age and escalated over time, eventually leading to real-life behaviors that deeply impacted his wife and family. Even after being caught and entering recovery, he struggled to fully commit to change, continuing patterns he knew were harmful.We talk about the role shame played in keeping him stuck, why partial honesty wasn’t enough to create real change, and what finally shifted when he chose to fully disclose everything. Chris also opens up about how unresolved pain and early experiences influenced his behavior, and how learning to process emotions and meet his needs differently became a turning point in his recovery.This episode explores questions many people are asking: Does porn addiction escalate over time? Does Porn Addiction Lead to Cheating? And what does it actually take to change?This episode is sponsored by Relay, a secure peer-support app that connects you with a small group of people who understand what you’re going through and help you stay accountable on your journey to quit porn. CBC listeners can try Relay free for 7 days when they sign up at http://ftnd.org/joinrelayAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This episode includes discussion of sexual violence, coercion, and experiences of assault among young people. Listener discretion is advised.In this episode of Consider Before Consuming, we sit down with Chanel Contos, founder of Teach Us Consent, to talk about how one Instagram post led to thousands of young people sharing their experiences, and ultimately helped drive mandated consent education across Australia. Chanel shares what it was like reading through testimony after testimony of peer-on-peer sexual violence, and how those stories revealed patterns around coercion, misunderstanding, and the way many young people are navigating sex without a clear understanding of consent.We also explore what’s shaping young people’s expectations around sex and relationships today. How are teens actually learning about intimacy? What role does pornography play in shaping ideas about consent, boundaries, and what’s considered “normal”? And why are rates of youth-perpetrated sexual harm rising in some areas, even as other forms of abuse decline? Chanel breaks down how early, age-appropriate consent education can help address these gaps, and what it looks like to teach consent in a way that builds empathy, communication, and respect from a young age.Episode Resources:Article: What is Inspiring Teens to Try Strangulation During Sex?Article: Oral Before Kissing: Porn Culture Has Changed Teens’ First Sexual EncountersChanel's Instagram: @ChanelcTeach Us Consent:Fix Our FeedsNewsletterInstagram Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hunter Clark was first exposed to pornography as a child. What started as curiosity eventually became a habit he struggled for years to overcome. Like many people, he tried everything he could think of to quit—willpower, accountability partners, blockers, even extreme personal challenges—but nothing seemed to work. In this episode of Consider Before Consuming, Hunter shares how shame kept him stuck in that cycle for years and how things began to change when he stopped focusing only on quitting porn and started looking at the deeper reasons behind the behavior.In this conversation, we explore questions many people are already asking: Why is porn so hard to quit? Does shame make porn habits worse? Can pornography affect relationships? And why do so many partners blame themselves when they discover a loved one’s porn habit?Hunter opens up about the moment he realized his struggle was connected to deeper emotional wounds, the impact pornography had on his relationship with his wife, and how honesty and open conversations helped break the isolation that shame can create. We also discuss the idea that porn habits are often a symptom of something deeper—whether that’s unresolved trauma, stress, loneliness, or other emotional struggles—and why simply trying to “have more discipline” often isn’t enough.This episode is sponsored by Relay, a secure peer-support app that connects you with a small group of people who understand what you’re going through and help you stay accountable on your journey to quit porn. CBC listeners can try Relay free for 7 days when they sign up at http://ftnd.org/joinrelayEpisode Resources:Article: Why Fighting Porn Must Include Fighting ShamePodcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 152: Chris ChandlerHunter's Podcast: Quit Porn with Hunter ClarkHunter's Instagram: _hunter.clarkAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of sexual exploitation and child sexual abuse in an educational and prevention-focused context. Listener discretion is advised.Dr. Alexandra Bailey is a forensic psychologist, Head of Psychology at the Lucy Faithfull Foundation, and a leading expert in the prevention of child sexual abuse.In this episode of Consider Before Consuming, she shares how harmful online behaviors can develop, and how pornography can play a role in that process for some individuals. As content has become more accessible, anonymous, and extreme, we explore how patterns of use can shift over time, including desensitization, novelty-seeking, and reinforcement.We also talk about how the internet and emerging technologies like AI are changing the landscape, and how factors like shame, isolation, and mental health can keep people stuck in harmful cycles.Most importantly, this conversation focuses on prevention—what it looks like, why it matters, and how resources like Stop It Now are helping people seek support before harm happens.Along the way, we get into questions people are already asking: Does porn escalate? Why do I need more extreme porn? Is AI porn harmful? What should parents know about porn, sexting, and online safety?Episode Resources:Article: Can Porn Use Escalate to Illegal Content? What Research and Real Stories ShowConversation Blueprint: Let's Talk About PornThe Lucy Faithfull Foundation: Stop It NowResearch Paper: What's Porn Got To Do With ItAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Matthew Raabsmith is a certified professional coach and relationship specialist, and Joanna Raabsmith is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in trauma and betrayal recovery. Together, they co-lead The Raabsmith Team and help couples rebuild connection after addiction and relational pain.After pornography addiction and secrecy deeply impacted their marriage, Matthew and Joanna began a recovery journey that transformed both their individual lives and their relationship. In this episode, they share what porn addiction actually did to their emotional intimacy, how betrayal trauma affected Joanna’s sense of safety and identity, and why stopping porn was only the beginning of healing.They address questions many couples quietly wrestle with: What does pornography do to a marriage over time? Can a relationship survive porn addiction? What is betrayal trauma, and why does it feel so devastating?Matthew and Joanna explain why honesty must come before trust, why rushing forgiveness can create more harm, and what sustainable recovery really looks like for both partners.Whether you’re navigating betrayal, struggling with porn use, or hoping to build a healthier relationship in the future, this conversation offers clarity and grounded hope.Episode Resources:Article: When Porn Use Shatters Trust: A Therapist Explains Betrayal TraumaVideo: Our Experience on Porn Recovery and Betrayal TraumaPodcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 94: Dr. Jill ManningMatthew and Joanna's Website: The Raabsmith TeamThis episode is sponsored by Relay, a secure peer-support app that connects you with a small group of people who understand what you’re going through and help you stay accountable on your journey to quit porn. CBC listeners can try Relay free for 7 days when they sign up at http://ftnd.org/joinrelayAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Mariah is a policy advocate focused on trafficking and online exploitation, the founder of Undox, and a GirlsDoPorn trafficking survivor. In this episode, she shares her story and what survival looked like inside a situation shaped by deception, fear, and coercion.Mariah describes how she was recruited under false pretenses, how quickly the reality of the situation shifted, and how isolation and uncertainty shaped the choices she felt she had. She explains how trauma responses like the fawn response became a way to get through moments when resisting or leaving didn’t feel safe, and why behaviors that may appear like consent from the outside often aren’t.She also reflects on the long aftermath of exploitation: living with nonconsensual content online, carrying guilt for the ways she survived, and being drawn back in after initially getting out. Over time, Mariah shares how her understanding of herself and other survivors was shaped. Through connection, witness, and advocacy, she came to recognize the strength, intelligence, and resilience it takes not only to survive exploitation, but to keep going afterward. That perspective has helped shape her healing and her decision to support others through survivor-led work.Why don’t victims just leave? How does sex trafficking actually happen in cases like GirlsDoPorn? And why do some survivors appear to comply or return? Mariah’s story offers a clearer picture.Episode Resources: Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 78: Jane Doe (Part 1)Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 78: Jane Doe (Part 2)Mariah's: Content Removal Site: UndoxGenerate HopeVictim ResourcesAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of Consider Before Consuming, Richard and Heather share how pornography quietly impacted their marriage and what it took to begin healing together.Richard reflects on his early exposure to porn, how his use escalated over time, and how things shifted when he began engaging with performers online and realized that one woman he interacted with was being coerced into the industry. Heather shares her perspective as a partner, including the changes she noticed before the truth came out and how disclosure affected trust and intimacy.Together, they talk about secrecy, honesty, recovery, and why bringing pornography into the open became a turning point for both their marriage and their healing.Episode Resources:Article: Benefits of Quitting Porn According to 90 Real PeopleArticle: Why Watching Porn With My Partner Was a Terrible IdeaPodcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 112: RobertPodcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 140: Victoria SinisAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussion of early exposure to sexualized content and suicidal ideation. Listener discretion is advised.Ore Oduba is an actor, broadcaster, and podcaster based in the UK. In this episode, Ore shares his personal experience with pornography addiction, which began with early exposure in childhood and continued for decades.He explains how pornography shaped his understanding of intimacy, how secrecy and shame affected his mental health and relationships, and what finally led him to seek help and begin recovery. Ore also talks about parenting in the digital age, why kids need safe adults more than punishment, and how open, non-judgmental conversations can help protect young people from harm.This episode is sponsored by Relay, a secure peer-support app that connects you with a small group of people who understand what you’re going through and help you stay accountable on your journey to quit porn. Try Relay for free for 7 days at https://joinrelay.app.link/ftndAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussion of sexual violence, exploitation, and child sexual abuse. Listener discretion is advised.Heidi Olson is a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner and the Founder and President of Paradigm Shift Training and Consulting.Drawing from years of frontline medical experience, Heidi explains why sexual exploitation and trafficking are often missed, how early exposure to pornography is shaping young people’s understanding of sex and consent, and why child-on-child sexual harm is becoming increasingly common. Episode Resources:Article: How Porn can Fuel Sexual Violence by Lessening Empathy in ConsumersPodcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 17: Heidi OlsonConnect with Heidi: Paradigm ShiftRAINNCAC Training Materials: Culture ReframedAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy