How To Have Deep Conversations | CP277

Have you ever asked your child how their day was, only to receive a quick “fine” or “I don't know”? In this episode of Connected Parenting, Jennifer explores why getting children and teenagers to open up can be challenging and why asking more questions isn't always the answer. Meaningful conversations aren't about finding the perfect words. They're about creating the emotional safety and trust that help children feel comfortable sharing what's really going on in their lives.Jennifer discusses how to move beyond everyday conversations about homework, chores, and schedules to build deeper connections. She reminds us that feeling heard and understood is something we all need, yet often miss in a world filled with constant digital communication. Listen to this episode of the Connected Parenting Podcast to discover how creating a safe, welcoming space for conversation can strengthen your relationships and encourage your children to open up.Jennifer's Takeaways:The Goal of Deep Connection (00:00)Avoiding the Interrogation Trap (03:59)The Brain and Social Safety (07:44)Using the Calm Technique (09:31)Cultivating Genuine Curiosity (15:21)Lessons from Personal Experience (17:07)Creating Opportunities for Connection (20:33)Summary of Best Practices (23:16)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011)

Have you ever noticed that the more you try to calm your overwhelmed child, the more upset they seem to become? In this episode of Connected Parenting, Jennifer takes a deeper look at co-regulation and what happens in both the parent's and child's brain and body during moments of emotional distress. Whether your child is having a meltdown, struggling with a friendship, or your teenager is spiraling with anxiety, our natural instinct is often to jump into problem-solving mode. We ask questions, offer reassurance, share advice, and try to make everything better. But sometimes, all that talking can actually make things worse.Jennifer explores why co-regulation is one of the most powerful tools parents have for helping children navigate overwhelming emotions. Rather than rushing to fix the problem or explain why everything will be okay, she encourages parents to focus on finding calm within their own bodies and creating a sense of safety through their presence. Sometimes, the most effective response requires very few words at all. Listen to this episode of the Connected Parenting Podcast to discover why less talking, less fixing, and more calm connection can make such an important difference when your child is struggling.Jennifer's Takeaways:The Power of Co-Regulation (00:00)Lessons from Emotional Presence (02:04)Nervous Systems and Connection (05:48)Building Self-Regulation Skills (08:19)The Importance of Silence (13:58)Managing Parent Self-Regulation (16:32)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011)

How do we raise girls who are confident, compassionate, and comfortable being themselves in a world that often sends them conflicting messages?In this episode of Connected Parenting, Jennifer explores the pressures girls face growing up. From being encouraged to speak up but not be too loud, to being strong without being difficult and kind without putting everyone else's needs ahead of their own. These mixed messages can leave girls questioning themselves, seeking approval, and struggling to trust their own feelings and decisions.Jennifer opens an important conversation about helping girls develop a strong sense of self, healthy boundaries, and the confidence to use their voices without fear of rejection or judgment.She challenges parents to consider how they respond when their daughters speak up, disagree, or express strong opinions, reminding us that we cannot encourage girls to have a voice while constantly discouraging them from using it.Listen to this episode of the Connected Parenting Podcast as Jennifer explores how we can help raise emotionally healthy girls who know their worth, trust themselves, and feel confident being exactly who they are.Jennifer's Takeaways:Raising Emotionally Healthy Girls (00:00)Distinguishing Kindness From Compliance (01:41)Navigating Disagreement and Voice (04:10)The Role of Anger and Assertiveness (07:29)Supporting Friendships and Belonging (10:28)Modeling Body Image and Worth (13:16)Teaching Boundaries and Self-Worth (15:44)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

What does healthy masculinity really look like, and how can we help boys grow into strong, kind, and emotionally healthy men?In Part Two of raising emotionally healthy boys, Jennifer continues the conversation by exploring the messages boys receive about what it means to be a man. From TikTok and social media to influencers promoting concerning ideas about masculinity, boys are constantly exposed to messages that can shape how they see themselves, their emotions, and their relationships with others.In this episode of connected parenting, Jennifer turns the focus toward helping parents think more intentionally about the kind of men they are raising. Building on Part One, she introduces the importance of understanding healthy masculinity and guiding boys toward a version of strength that includes kindness and emotional well-being.This conversation encourages parents to look beyond cultural expectations and consider how they can help their sons develop a healthier understanding of what it truly means to be a man.This is Part Two of a two-part conversation about raising emotionally healthy boys and the men they will become, so if you have not heard Part One, I would encourage you to go back and listen to it now.Jennifer's Takeaways:Redefining Healthy Masculinity (00:00)Preparing Boys for Peer Pressure (02:45)Navigating Relationships and Sexuality (08:23)The Power of Modeling and Connection (12:14)Accountability Versus Shame (16:01)Raising Future Men With Empathy (19:50)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

How do we raise boys who are emotionally strong, empathetic, and accountable for their actions?In this episode of Connected Parenting, Jennifer explores why raising emotionally healthy boys goes beyond teaching good behaviour. From family expectations and peer influences to cultural messages about masculinity, boys are constantly learning which emotions are acceptable to express and which ones should be hidden. Jennifer explains why helping boys recognize and name feelings like sadness, fear, jealousy, shame, and rejection is essential for developing emotional regulation, empathy, and healthy relationships.From learning to respect another person's “no” to managing rejection without becoming aggressive or defensive, this episode explores how we can raise boys who are confident in themselves, considerate of others, and capable of navigating difficult emotions.This is Part One of a two-part conversation about raising emotionally healthy boys and the men they will become, so please join again next week to hear Part Two.Jennifer's Takeaways:The Societal Impact of Masculinity (00:01)Building Emotional Literacy in Boys (03:01)Mirroring and Naming Emotions (04:54)The Importance of Empathy (07:37)Connection and Accountability (11:52)Navigating Frustration and Boundaries (14:27)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

What if the challenging behavior you're seeing isn't really the problem, but a sign of what's happening underneath?In this week's guest episode of Connected Parenting, Jennifer sits down with Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, a therapist, certified school psychologist, author, podcast host, and Mom who has spent more than 30 years working with children and families. Together, they explore dysregulation, the nervous system, and why understanding what's driving a child's behavior can completely change the way we respond to it.Dr. Roseann shares insights from her work and her book, The Dysregulated Kid, helping parents understand why talking, correcting, and giving consequences may not work when a child's nervous system is already overwhelmed.This conversation offers parents a practical and compassionate way to understand difficult behavior while helping children build the regulation skills they need to navigate stress, emotions, and everyday life.Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding Nervous System Dysregulation (00:00)The Importance of Co-Regulation (10:12)Strategies for Building Regulation Capacity (12:12)The COMMS Framework for Regulation (22:37)Modeling and Reinforcing Skills (25:58)Managing Anxiety and OCD Patterns (30:02)Meet Dr. Roseann Capanna-HodgeWebsite: https://www.drroseann.com/Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

When a child has a major meltdown in public, it can feel like suddenly everyone around you has an opinion about your parenting. Inspired by a recent story about a child whose behaviour reportedly caused a plane to turn around, Jennifer explores why it's impossible to understand what is happening with a child or family from a few difficult moments. Autism, ADHD, sensory challenges, anxiety, fear, trauma, exhaustion, or simply an exceptionally hard day can all influence how a child responds when their nervous system becomes overwhelmed.In this episode of Connected Parenting, Jennifer looks beyond the judgement and focuses on what happens when a child's nervous system reaches its limit, especially when it happens with an audience. Whether it's on an airplane, in a grocery store, at a restaurant, or in the school parking lot, parenting a dysregulated child while feeling watched and judged can make an already difficult situation even harder. This episode offers a more compassionate way to understand these moments and reminds parents that behaviour doesn't always tell us the full story of what a child, or their parent, is experiencing.Jennifer's Takeaways:The Airplane Incident and Context (00:00)The Parent-Child Dysregulation Loop (03:12)Connect Before You Correct (06:30)Practical Strategies for Difficult Transitions (12:39)Managing Sensory and Physical Needs (15:10)Parenting Without an Audience (17:59)Understanding Behavior as a Symptom (18:47)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

As parents, we often act as a substitute frontal lobe for our children while their own executive functioning skills are still developing. We help them regulate emotions, remember what they need, organize themselves, solve problems, and make decisions. But sometimes, without realizing it, we can cross the line from guiding our children to doing too much of the thinking and problem-solving for them. In this episode of Connected Parenting, Jennifer explores the important difference between healthy co-regulation and over functioning, and why allowing children to experience manageable frustration is an essential part of helping their brains grow.Whether it's packing part of their backpack, remembering their lunch, setting an alarm, or working through a frustrating task, small opportunities to struggle and problem-solve help children develop independence, frustration tolerance, and confidence. The goal isn't to raise children who never need us, it's to help them increasingly discover that they can think, solve problems, recover from mistakes, and trust themselves.Jennifer's Takeaways:The Substitute Frontal Lobe (00:00)The Dangers of Over-Functioning (02:25)Using the CALM Technique (07:06)Practical Strategies for Independence (08:57)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

When one child in the family requires a lot of attention because of big emotions, tantrums, challenging behaviour, or constant pushback, it can quietly affect everyone else in the home. In this episode of "Connected Parenting", Jennifer turns the focus to the child who is often described as the “good child”. The one who rarely complains, follows the rules, stays out of trouble, and seems to make parenting easy.Jennifer explores how these children may learn to become extra independent, agreeable, or quiet because they sense that their parents simply don't have any more emotional bandwidth. While their behaviour may look like everything is fine, they still need opportunities to be noticed, supported, and given space for their own feelings and needs. This episode is an important reminder to look beyond behaviour and make sure the child who isn't demanding your attention is still receiving the connection, reassurance, and emotional space they need.Jennifer's Takeaways:Coping mechanisms in families with difficult children (00:00)Managing emotions & needs in a family with uneven dynamics (03:42)Parenting strategies for a "super coping" child (08:25)Managing two children with different emotional needs (12:03)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Moving from the freedom and flexibility of summer into the back-to-school early mornings, structured routines, school expectations, and busy schedules can be a significant adjustment for the whole family.In this episode of "Connected Parenting", Jennifer explores how parents can help make the transition back to school feel smoother and less overwhelming. She shares ways to prepare children for the changes ahead, create more predictability and routine, and support the emotions that can come with starting a new school year. Whether your child is excited, anxious, resistant, or somewhere in between, this episode will help you approach back-to-school with greater connection, patience, and confidence.Jennifer's Takeaways:Back-to-School Transition Challenges (00:00)Managing Time and Schedules (02:50)Celebrating Summer and Preparing for School (04:45)Addressing Kids' Concerns and Fears (06:30)Handling the Back-to-School Transition (9:12)Maintaining Routines and Preventing Behavioral Issues (11:26)MEET JENNIFER KOLARIJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid(Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really) Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).Thanks for Listening!Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others would love to listen, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode, or want to be a guest on the show? Leave a comment in the section below or visit the website to contact me!Follow The PodcastIf you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can follow us on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, Amazon, or whatever your favorite podcast app is!Leave Us an Apple Podcasts ReviewRatings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts.Don't forget to visit our Connected Parenting Youtube Channel! Check it out! Like us and Subscribe!