Disrespect Or Distress | CP251

“Why is my child so disrespectful?” It’s a question many parents ask out of frustration and confusion. In this episode, we take a closer look at what’s really behind that word, because often what looks like disrespect is actually distress. When a child talks back, shuts down, or lashes out, they may not be trying to challenge authority, they may be overwhelmed and struggling to manage emotions they don’t yet have the skills for. When we see it as intentional, we tend to respond with correction or control, which can escalate things. But when we pause and recognize the distress underneath, we shift from reacting to understanding, and from correcting to connecting. This doesn’t mean removing boundaries, it means approaching behavior with awareness so children feel supported, regulate more easily, and learn more effectively.Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding Disrespect vs. Distress in Children (00:00)The Role of Emotional Regulation and Perspective Taking (02:09)Parental Reactions to Children's Behaviors (02:58)Strategies for Managing Children's Behaviors (06:10)Building Connection and Cooperation (07:56)The Impact of Parental Behavior on Siblings (11:43)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

There’s a quiet shift happening right now that many parents can feel, even if they haven’t fully put words to it yet.The world our children are growing up in is changing, and it looks very different from the one we were prepared for. While traditional skills like reading, writing, math, and creativity still matter, technology is advancing so quickly that many of these skills are now being done faster and more efficiently by AI.As a result, many parents are feeling behind, trying to catch up, and wondering what this all means for their kids. This episode isn’t about fear, it’s about awareness. Because as the world changes, so does our role as parents.It’s no longer just about what our children know, but how they think, adapt, and connect. The goal isn’t to keep up with technology, but to raise grounded, thoughtful humans who can navigate it with confidence.Jennifer's Takeaways:The Shift in Parenting Focus Amid Technological Advancements (00:00)The Importance of Soft Technologies in Child Development (03:34)The Role of AI and Human Emotional Skills (05:51)Practical Steps for Supporting Emotional Development (09:15)The Role of Schools and Professional Support (14:47)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In our last episode, we explored how women and girls are often wired for safety and connection. In this episode, we turn the lens to the men in our lives, husbands, sons, brothers, and partners, and look at what’s really happening when they shut down, become defensive, or seem distant during important conversations.These moments can feel confusing and hurtful, especially when you’re trying to connect. But underneath those reactions is often a nervous system shifting into protection mode. What looks like disconnection is often self-protection, and what feels like defensiveness is a response to perceived threat, not a lack of care.When we begin to understand this, everything starts to shift. We take things less personally, approach conversations differently, and create space for real connection. Because when both people feel safe and understood, it becomes much easier to stay open, communicate, and move forward together.Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding Men's Nervous Systems (00:00)Common Miscommunication Patterns (02:06)Strategies for Better Communication (06:35)Noticing and Naming Positive Behaviors (06:51)Impact on Daughters and Teenagers (07:23)Reframing and Connecting Nervous Systems (08:28)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

This episode is a gentle invitation for dads, partners, and anyone raising or loving a woman or girl to see things through a different lens. What can sometimes look like overreacting is often something much deeper, a nervous system that is highly attuned to safety.This isn’t about weakness or sensitivity, but about how the brain and body are wired through biology, hormones, and lived experience. From a young age, many women and girls are constantly scanning for cues of connection and safety, and when that feels uncertain, their reactions can seem intense or personal, but they’re not meant to be. They’re signals.When we begin to understand this, everything shifts. Instead of reacting with frustration, we can respond in ways that create safety and connection. And in that space, walls come down, conversations open up, and relationships soften.This episode offers a more compassionate way to understand the women and girls in your life, because when she feels safe and understood, she can come closer, and both people feel more seen, heard, and connected.Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding Women's Nervous Systems (00:00)The Built-In Alarm System (01:35)Common Miscommunication Scenarios (03:32)The Power of Tone and Connection (06:46)Repairing and Building Safety (08:25)Understanding Different Nervous Systems (10:49)Joking and Teasing (12:11)Connecting Before Correcting (13:10)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In this episode, we explore a feeling many parents are quietly carrying right now, overwhelm, fear, and uncertainty about the world our children are growing up in.With constant exposure to distressing news and global events, it’s easy to feel helpless, like the problems are too big and too far away for anything we do to matter.But this response isn’t a personal failing, it’s how the brain is wired. Our brains were never designed to process the weight of the entire world all at once. They were built to focus on what’s close, our families, our communities, and the people right in front of us.When the world feels chaotic, children naturally look to their parents for grounding, safety, and reassurance.This episode offers a powerful shift in perspective: you don’t have to save the whole world. Your greatest impact lives within your immediate circle of influence. The way you show up, the calm you model, and the connection you create at home all matter more than you might realize. These small, steady moments don’t just support your child’s sense of safety, they ripple outward in meaningful ways.Jennifer's Takeaways:The Power of Small Acts of Kindness (00:00)Understanding Learned Helplessness (01:59)The Dunbar Number and Modern Overwhelm (04:28)The Ripple Effect of Human Behavior (05:10)Parenting in a Chaotic World (08:25)Practical Tips for Parents (11:12)The Power of Connection (11:42)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Some children don’t just feel things… they feel everything.The disappointment of a small mistake.The frustration of something not going their way.The quiet belief that somehow, they’re not enough.And as a parent, it can feel overwhelming to watch.You want to help, but nothing seems to land in the moment.In this episode, Jennifer Kolari takes us beneath the surface of those big emotional reactions to understand why some children experience the world with such depth and intensity. And she shares how with the right support, these deeply feeling children don’t just learn to cope, they grow into resilient, empathetic, and capable adults.Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding Sensitive, Intense Kids (00:00)The Role of the Nervous System (01:43)The Concept of Shame (03:17)Building Distress Tolerance (05:17)Practical Strategies for Parents (06:11)The Importance of Emotional Safety (08:20)Lifelong Challenges and Support (09:33)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

“I need it. No, I really need it.”Whether it’s a toy, a treat, or something trending, many parents have that moment of thinking, that’s definitely not a need.But beneath the meltdowns and intensity is something deeper.This isn’t just about kids being dramatic, it’s about brain development, emotional regulation, and learning to handle discomfort.In this episode, Jennifer explains why children genuinely feel like they need what they want, and how their developing brains make it hard to tell the difference.She explores how impulse control, dopamine, and emotional intensity all play a role and how parents can respond with both empathy and clear boundaries.Because while it’s important to hold the limit, it’s just as important to acknowledge the feeling behind it.For a child, in that moment… it really does feel like a need.Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding Needs vs. Wants in Parenting (00:00)The Role of Parents as Substitute Frontal Lobes (02:19)Pleasure vs. Happiness and the Novelty Trap (04:45)Modeling Delayed Gratification and Practical Tools (08:24)Gratitude Reflection and Emotional Maturity (12:23)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Why is it that children seem calm, cooperative, and well-behaved with teachers, relatives, babysitters, or even the other parent but when they get home to mom, everything unravels?This is not necessarily a sign that something is going wrong.In many cases, it’s actually a sign that something is going right.Children often release their biggest emotions with the person they feel safest and most connected to. This episode explores why this dynamic happens so often with moms, how nervous systems and attachment play a role, and how parents can understand these moments differently.Parenting requires an incredible amount of emotional labor, and this episode offers both reassurance and perspective for parents who feel like they’re carrying the heaviest part of their child’s emotional world.Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding Why Children React Differently to Moms (00:00)The Role of Nervous Systems in Parenting (02:41)Challenges Moms Face in Parenting (04:36)Strategies for Moms to Cope (07:58)Encouraging Joy and Healthy Connections (11:20)Balancing Emotional Load and Self-Care (15:12)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

This episode is one of the most difficult Jennifer has ever recorded.Like many parents, she is feeling the weight of the news cycle and the stories involving children that can shake our sense of safety and stability. When events like this appear in the headlines, it can leave parents asking the same painful questions:How do I talk to my child about this?What if they’ve already heard about it?How do I keep them informed without frightening them?This episode is not about fear, sensationalizing tragedy, or overwhelming children with information. Instead, Jennifer focuses on practical ways parents can support their children emotionally when disturbing news enters their world.Jennifer's Takeaways:Overview of the Connected Parents Project (01:07)Challenges of Modern Dating for Parents (03:42)Navigating Relationship Stages and Labels (06:33)Building Connection and Trust in Parenting (16:03)Addressing Digital Influences and Technology (30:34)Teaching Relationship Skills to Children (30:46)Balancing Privacy and Secrecy in Parenting (46:00)Supporting Boys and Healthy Masculinity (47:07)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Dating can bring up a very specific kind of parent anxiety, especially when you add in social media, texting, AI, and changing relationship norms that look nothing like what many of us grew up with. In this guest episode, I sit down with Lianne Lee and Sarah Winstanley from the ConnectED Parents Project (powered by SHIFT: The Project to End Domestic Violence at the University of Calgary) for a grounded, non–fear-based conversation on how to prepare kids for healthy relationships long before dating begins.Instead of “lock it down” parenting, this episode focuses on building skills early, strengthening connection, and helping kids develop an internal compass for what feels safe, respectful, and aligned.Jennifer's Takeaways:Overview of the Connected Parents Project (01:07)Challenges of Modern Dating for Parents (03:42)Navigating Relationship Stages and Labels (06:33)Building Connection and Trust in Parenting (16:03)Addressing Digital Influences and Technology (30:34)Teaching Relationship Skills to Children (30:46)Balancing Privacy and Secrecy in Parenting (46:00)Supporting Boys and Healthy Masculinity (47:07)Learn more:WebsiteInstagramLinkedInMeet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).