Games Difficult People Play

Have you ever tried to address a serious issue in a relationship, only to find yourself defending something completely unrelated five minutes later? When conversations turn into arguments, it's easy for the other person to use deflection, accusations, or excuses to get you off your point so they don't have to address it. Key Takeaways from This Episode: Recognizing "Rabbit Trails": How partners or family members divert conversations when confronted, turning the focus back on you. The Broken Record Technique: How staying focused on a single, clear phrase (like "Please don't talk to me disrespectfully") neutralizes argument traps. 3 Times It’s Essential to Repeat Your Truth: When someone is trying to argue, deflect, or get you off message. When you need to reinforce that your stance or boundary hasn't changed. When your initial request was ignored and you want to offer another opportunity for a healthy response. Firm vs. Disrespectful Tone: Why setting a clear boundary in a firm, grounded voice is completely different from nagging or attacking. Biblical Foundation: Holding onto wisdom and keeping a straight course through Proverbs 23:23, Proverbs 15:14, and Proverbs 15:21. #ChangeMyRelationship #KarlaDowning #ChristianRelationships #CommunicationTips #SettingBoundaries #RepeatYourTruth #HealthyRelationships #BiblicalWisdom #ConflictResolution #ChristianPodcast #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalHealth Subscribe & Connect: Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xnnLtsaPqBc  

There are many types of abuse In abusive relationships. One of those is financial abuse. All of them include power over, control, punishment, and disregard. All of them cause you to question your perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and experience. All of them hurt and diminish your personhood. Financial abuse involves the use of power and control over a person's financial wellbeing. It can be hard to identify when a husband uses his position as head of the house to justify his financial dominance. It is hard to identify when concern is used to justify taking over a person's bills. It can also be hard to identify when the victim's choices are blamed for the abuser's actions.  Economic abuse involves more than withholding money. If you are in an abusive relationship, you need to know how to recognize and deal with financial abuse. Watch this video to learn how to deal that. Download the economic power and control wheel from the Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs (DAIP)  - https://theduluthmodel.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/SEA_Economic_abuse_wheel_Approved_adaption.pdf   Other power and control wheels -  https://theduluthmodel.org/wheel-gallery/ #abusiverelationships #financialabuse #christianrelationshipadvice #christianmarriageadvice #economicabuse   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/59gAyWJ_6pw  

Do you have a right to privacy in your marriage or inside your parents' home? Is keeping passwords a healthy boundary or a major red flag? Managing privacy, trust, and transparency in relationships can be a delicate balancing act. In this episode of Change My Relationship, licensed marriage and family therapist and author Karla Downing addresses the complex topic of privacy rights in intimate, family, and parent-child relationships. She breaks down the difference between healthy personal boundaries and controlling behavior, offering practical advice grounded in emotional health and biblical wisdom. #ChangeMyRelationship #KarlaDowning #ChristianRelationships #PrivacyRights #RelationshipBoundaries #HealthyRelationships #TrustAndTransparency #BiblicalWisdom #EmotionalHealth #MarriageAdvice #ChristianPodcast #RelationshipAdvice Whether you are struggling with trust issues from a past relationship or trying to navigate boundaries with a controlling partner, this episode provides clarity on protecting both your privacy and your peace.   Subscribe & Connect: Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/M2YUZNkw0MM

Is loyalty always a virtue, or can it sometimes hold you back? In this episode of Change My Relationship, we explore the complex dynamic of loyalty—from its role as a honorable trait in friendships, marriages, and faith to the hidden dangers of being "loyal to a fault." We dive into how adult children of dysfunctional families and those struggling with codependency often stay in harmful, toxic, or draining relationships out of a misplaced sense of duty. Drawing from biblical wisdom—including Psalm 41 and Jesus’s instructions in Matthew 10—we discuss how to distinguish healthy commitment from toxic dependency, how to set courageous boundaries, and why letting go of a harmful relationship doesn't mean you've failed or stopped caring. #Loyalty #ToxicRelationships #SettingBoundaries #Codependency #ChristianAdvice #FaithAndHealing #RelationshipAdvice #ChangeMyRelationship   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Aiq9lpy1Ecs

Many Christians hold misunderstandings about scriptural truths that result in making unhealthy choices in their relationships, especially the dysfunctional ones. Because they care about obeying God, they are looking for verses to apply and are often black and white in the way they apply them. They also tend to apply a few verses rather than take the whole Bible into consideration.  One of those is 1 Corinthians 13:5 where the verse says that love doesn't keep a record of wrongs. If this is interpreted in the typical way, it says that you should not pay attention to how many times someone does something to hurt you. That could be especially problematic in a dysfunctional relationship.  It's important to correct misunderstandings about scriptural truths to do what is right for you and to not allow others to continue to sin.  Watch this video to find out if according to 1 Corinthians 13:5, can love keep a record of wrongs?  Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. #1corinthians13 #keeprecordofwrongs #love #Christianrelationshipadvice #dysfunctionalrelationships   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/0z85yzf-epo

Are you a Christian navigating your personal faith crisis when nothing you believed works? Are you walking through the dark night of the soul, where God is distant, faith is weak, expectations are unmet, and emotions are dark? Does life seem meaningless, and are you questioning everything you previously believed? There are typically six stages, which are explained in this video, along with how and why Christians in difficult relationships go through this experience. Karla also shares her own personal dark night of the soul. Understanding the dark night of the soul helps you recognize what you are going through. Knowing that you are not the only one makes it easier to be compassionate with yourself. Hanging on to the belief that you will get through it and eventually have stronger faith gives you hope. Watch this video on navigating the dark night of the soul when God is distant, your faith is weak, and expectations are unmet. It will bring you comfort and ease your journey through this personal faith crisis when nothing you believed works. #darknightofthesoul #disappointmentwithGod #faithjourney #faithcrisis   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/7hF8bIWWPFY

Difficult people play games. They do all kinds of things to get their way and to control what you do. You can respond in a way that helps you to stand up for yourself and not being controlled. Learn what that is. #DifficultPeople #ToxicRelationships #Gaslighting #RelationshipAdvice #Boundaries #ChristianRelationships #ChangeMyRelationship Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/apUs4teoAZA

Manipulators, abusers, and narcissists all use tactics of fear, obligation, and guilt. Fear causes you to give in to avoid the threat. Obligation causes you to give in because you are supposed to. And guilt makes you give in because you feel you're wrong if you don't.  These make up the acronym "FOG" because they cause confusion, making it difficult to see what is being done to you. They also make you feel invalidated, which in turn makes you question yourself. The three of these are impossible to fight against when you are confused and invalidated.  When dealing with FOG--fear, obligation, and guilt--triggered by manipulators, abusers, and narcissists, you need a strategy. Watch this video to equip yourself with one that will help you stand up to their tactics.    #dealingwithtoxicpeople #dealingwithnarcissists #abuser #manipulators #fearobligationguilt #christianrelationshipadvice   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/8A_MHax-0SI

Ever feel completely drained after talking to someone who always sees the glass as half-empty? Whether it’s a spouse who counters every conversation with something negative, a perpetually pessimistic friend, or someone struggling with clinical depression, living or working around constant negativity can take a major toll on your well-being. In this episode of Change My Relationship, licensed marriage and family therapist and author Karla Downing shares practical, faith-based solutions to help you navigate negative people without taking on their heavy mood: Understanding the "Why": Discover the difference between a naturally pessimistic personality trait and clinical depression. Setting Healthy Boundaries: Learn how to limit exposure in non-essential relationships and take much-needed breaks. The "10-Minute Venting" Rule: A simple structure to let others air their grievances without derailing the rest of your time together. Communication Strategies: Why overcompensating with extreme positivity backfires—and how staying grounded in objective facts works better. Speaking Truth in Love: How to gently confront chronic "victim mentality" and encourage constructive action. Biblical Wisdom: Reflections on Proverbs 22:24–25 and Philippians 4:5–8 to protect your emotional and spiritual peace. Whether you are trying to manage a difficult dynamic or looking to refine how you communicate your own struggles, this episode offers grounded emotional guidance rooted in biblical truths. Subscribe & Connect: If this message helped you, please subscribe and share it with a friend! We’d love to hear your feedback or ideas for future topics. Email Karla: [email protected] Website: changemyrelationship.com for books, bible studies, devotionals, and videos. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video: https://youtu.be/5lqN3EDvfVY #ChangeMyRelationship #KarlaDowning #ChristianCounseling #DealingWithNegativePeople #Boundaries #HealthyRelationships #BiblicalWisdom #EmotionalHealth #Pessimism #MentalHealthAwareness #ChristianRelationships #RelationshipAdvice

Are Christians required to lay down all their rights and allow others to walk over them? For decades, popular church teaching suggested that followers of Christ should never demand respect, express hurt, or set boundaries. But misinterpreting biblical self-sacrifice can lead to deep emotional harm, resentment, and dynamics filled with contempt. In this episode of Change My Relationship, licensed marriage and family therapist and author Karla Downing addresses the misconception surrounding "laying down your rights" in difficult relationships. Using scripture and practical counseling insight, Karla clarifies when holding onto your rights is essential for healthy boundaries and emotional well-being. Key Topics Covered in This Episode: Misunderstood Theology: Why "laying down your rights" is often taken out of biblical context and how it damages interpersonal dynamics. Biblical Examples of Standing Up for Rights: How Paul asserted his civil rights as a Roman citizen in Acts 16 and discussed ministerial support rights in 1 Corinthians 9. When to Hold vs. Surrender Rights: The vital difference between laying down rights for a genuine, gospel-centered purpose versus enabling mistreatment and disrespect in personal relationships. 17 Essential Relationship Rights: A comprehensive checklist of core rights every individual holds—including the right to be treated with respect, to say no without guilt, to make mistakes, and to live free from abuse. Whether you are navigating a marriage, family conflict, or workplace strain, this episode will help you stand up for yourself with grace, truth, and conviction. Resources Mentioned: Want a printable copy of the 17 Relationship Rights? Head over to changemyrelationship.com and search for "Relationship Rights" to download the full devotional list. #ChangeMyRelationship #KarlaDowning #ChristianRelationships #RelationshipRights #Boundaries #HealthyRelationships #BiblicalWisdom #SelfCare #FaithAndMentalHealth #ChristianPodcast #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalHealing Subscribe & Connect: If this episode empowered you, please subscribe and share it with someone who needs it! Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/bXmMOh6auck