Dom and Sub Mystery Questions

This week we’re talking all about edging, orgasm control and denial - one of my favourite kinks as a submissive. But it’s also one of the kinks I see people get very activated about for a number of reasons. And I want to explore today, why that is, what beliefs we might have as a collective around the idea of “denial” and what that means for us, but also to explore the benefits of edging, orgasm control and denial, so we can understand what it is, why we do it, and bust some misconceptions. Support the showSign up to my mailing list and get your FREE Limits & Boundaires Checklist! Join The Power Exchange Academy  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit subinthecity.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode I talk about the rise in the "Pleasure Dom" trend, why I think this term is confusing and somewhat of a "lazy" label, and a few different theories around the Pleasure Dom label that are important to consider.If this episode resonates with you, and you want to explore your Dominance in a way that feels authentic and aligned with your own individual desires then applications are now open for our 8 Week Mentorship: Embodying Authentic Dominance. Support the showSign up to my mailing list and get your FREE Limits & Boundaires Checklist! Join The Power Exchange Academy  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit subinthecity.substack.com/subscribe

What if you're not a bad Dom/me? What if I told you that you just didn't know how to receive submission properly? In this episode, I talk about what it means to surrender as a Dom/me and the important role it plays in a successful D/s dynamic. We'll dive into people pleasing, "topping from the top" and ways you can feel more confident in receiving submission from your partner, so you both feel the delicious flow of power exchange. In this episode, I also invite you to download our PDF "Co-create your ideal D/s Dynamic" - a 4 page PDF with the EXACT questions Master Carlos and I use to evaluate our dynamic regularly. GET IT HERE!In addition, we now have spots open for our 8 week mentorship program Embodying Authentic Dominance - Starting in September. You can apply now and be Dom/me ready by Halloween! Support the showSign up to my mailing list and get your FREE Limits & Boundaires Checklist! Join The Power Exchange Academy  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit subinthecity.substack.com/subscribe

Happy New Year, kinksters! I’m back with another episode of Bonding and this one is a JUICY one! 💦I’ve recently been reflecting on the work that I do, both as a Humanistic Integrative Therapist and Kink Coach and Educator, and feeling fascinated and privileged at witnessing the amazing transformations that happen when people can embrace their kinky selves.Something I have witnessed when working with these Kink focused clients, is how the topic of sex, kink and pleasure, quickly open up this door to other parts of themselves that could otherwise take much longer for therapy clients to connect with. This is where, and I’ve spoken about this on the podcast before - kink really is a great form of shadow work.I suppose the main point of these reflections is that I have always found the work I do from a kink lens to go a lot deeper a lot quicker, because we’re already in the shadows from the start, which makes it much easier to reach those more vulnerable parts of ourselves.So I’m celebrating this work and sharing with you my insights on how kink can help us to connect to our full authentic selves, both inside and outside of the bedroom!Support the showSign up to my mailing list and get your FREE Limits & Boundaires Checklist! Join The Power Exchange Academy  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit subinthecity.substack.com/subscribe

Greetings, fellow kinksters! I’m back with another episode of Bonding and today’s special focus is on impact play. In this jam-packed podcast, we dive deep into the art of impact - uncovering the science behind why we enjoy pain-based pleasure, discussing essential safety and communication practices, and revealing insider techniques to level up your impact play skills.And for those of you in the London area, get ready for an unforgettable experience! We're hosting an in-person impact play workshop on December 18th, perfect for couples and pairs who want to learn in a fully equipped dungeon setting. This partnered event will guide you through impact fundamentals, introduce a variety of sensual implements, and provide personalized feedback to help you build confidence and expand your impact repertoire. Space is limited, so don't wait to reserve your spot.Buy your ticketSupport the showSign up to my mailing list and get your FREE Limits & Boundaires Checklist! Join The Power Exchange Academy  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit subinthecity.substack.com/subscribe

Blood Lust Confessions - Halloween Cocktails & Kink! 🎙️Join us for a deliciously tantalizing episode as I dive into the wildest confessions from Blood Lust, our latest Halloween cocktail and kink event! This episode, we’re sharing some of the community’s most daring and dirty secrets, straight from the confession box.Get ready for juicy tales of messy play, bold exhibitionism, and fabulous fantasies that reveal just how uninhibited—and creative—our attendees can be. From naughty experiences to their deepest desires, each confession is a glimpse into the seductive underworld of kink.Intrigued? Don’t miss out on the next unforgettable night! Join us on Tuesday, December 17th at Looking Glass Cocktail Club for our next social gathering. Tickets are available now at subinthecity.com. Come for the cocktails, stay for the confessions... 🍸💋Support the showSign up to my mailing list and get your FREE Limits & Boundaires Checklist! Join The Power Exchange Academy  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit subinthecity.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode of Bonding, I dive into the nuanced differences between slave and service submission within the BDSM dynamic. I answer a listener's question about the two terms, discussing how each reflects varying degrees of power exchange and submission styles. While "slave" often evokes stronger emotions due to historical and non-consensual connotations, I explores how, in BDSM, it can also represent a consensual power dynamic. On the other hand, service submission highlights voluntary acts of devotion without the same intensity of control.As always, I share the importance of intentionality and self-awareness in choosing these terms, reminding listeners that BDSM is all about customizing dynamics that feel empowering and consensual for both parties. Tune in to discover how to navigate these roles while being mindful of language and its impact.Support the showSign up to my mailing list and get your FREE Limits & Boundaires Checklist! Join The Power Exchange Academy  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit subinthecity.substack.com/subscribe

Spooky season has begun and I'm back in your earbuds with another episode of Bonding. This week I talk to you about etiquette - the do's and don'ts when you're chatting up potential kinky partners. I discuss how to initiate conversations with like-minded kinksters and the process that can help create authentic connections with awareness. I touch on leading from a place of safety, trust and respect.Tune in to hear me talk about the importance of first impressions online and how just because you're on a sex positive platform doesn't mean you need to lead with sex. I share my thoughts on how to engage in respectful communication and ways to check in with your intensions before and during engagement.Come join us for our Halloween Cocktails and Kink: 'Blood Lust' party on 30th October at the Looking Glass Cocktail Club in London. Tickets available hereSupport the showSign up to my mailing list and get your FREE Limits & Boundaires Checklist! Join The Power Exchange Academy  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit subinthecity.substack.com/subscribe

Sarah and Carlos ask each other three mystery questions . The result? A glorious episode of memory sharing, confessions, gratitude and love. Tune in to this bonus episode of Bonding to hear more from Sarah and her Dom/fiancé Carlos. Having established a relationship for a couple of years before bringing in kink dynamics, Sarah and Carlos share how having privacy and going self-employed helped them build a successful D/s lifestyle together.We hear Sarah and Carlos confess to feeling shy during the start of their relationship regarding communicating their desires. And how transparency and being blunt are great tools of honesty to exercise throughout a relationship, particularly in regards to playing with new concepts of intimacy.  Support the showSign up to my mailing list and get your FREE Limits & Boundaires Checklist! Join The Power Exchange Academy  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit subinthecity.substack.com/subscribe

Just with any dating process, determining whether someone is right for you, or has the potential to develop something with you takes time and awareness.Within the world of kink, vetting is a very common part of dating and socialising. With vetting, we are checking out a person's vibe and whether we like them. It is a process of obtaining information about someone you wish to get to know on a sexual or romantic level. But remember, this isn’t about finding a good dom or a good sub. Instead, we are simply finding a good human to connect with and explore with safely. I guide you through some kink related questions that can be good to ask to help you get a feel for a persons level of understanding and intention when it comes to entering into a kinky dynamic.I hope these tips help you on your journey, and if you want to meet a community of likeminded kinksters then be sure to come along to our cocktails and kink social events in London – the next one is Thursday 8th August.Support the showSign up to my mailing list and get your FREE Limits & Boundaires Checklist! Join The Power Exchange Academy  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit subinthecity.substack.com/subscribe