Episode 119 - Terror Train (1980)

Cooper and Nolan are keeping things in the family this week when they talk TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE NEXT GENERATION! This ill-fated attempt to reboot a beloved franchise is full of confusing elements, from the filmmaker's intended message to whether or not aliens are involved in the bizarre conspiracy theory subplot, to Leatherface's sudden identity crisis. But maybe the most confusing thing of all was the guys ending up on the exact opposite sides of an argument that you would expect them to.  It's a spooky switcheroo that you're definitely going to want to experience for yourself, so grab your chainsaw! This special Halloween episode (featuring a beer from the Neustadt Springs Brewery) is revved up and ready for your enjoyment!

Cooper and Nolan are headed for paradise this week when they buy a HARD TICKET TO HAWAII! This legendary piece of 80s cheese features embarrassing dialogue, laughable special effects, and some of the worst acting ever captured on film. But what it lacks in production value it makes up for in sheer, unbridled enthusiasm... for nudity. With that list of ingredients it's no wonder the guys have had this movie on THEIR list since Day 1. So book your ticket today; this episode (featuring a beer from Spearhead Brewing Company) is a trip you'll never forget!

Cooper and Nolan are searching for simpler times this week when they explore THE VILLAGE! Some people remember this as M. Night Shyamalan's last "good" movie before things fell apart in the mid 2000s, but had cracks already started to form beneath the surface? Between that and topics like city living vs. country living, whether or not restorative justice works, and how gracefully Sigourney Weaver is aging, there's plenty for the guys to debate. But there's one thing they both agree on - Adrien Brody should have taken Robert Downey Jr.'s advice from Tropic Thunder. Ready to get rustic? It might have taken a village to make this episode (featuring a beer from Four Fathers Brewing Co.), but all you have to do to enjoy it is press play!

Cooper and Nolan are dropping the hammer this week, as they experience DAYS OF THUNDER! This early 90s Tom Cruise NASCAR movie was inexplicably written by the same guy who did Chinatown, but whereas that movie was a stylish noir full of complex characters and sharp dialogue, this one is basically Top Gun in cars. Still, any movie that features Tom Cruise raging out, misidentifying sex workers, and engaging in endless d*** measuring contests is worth talking about, so ladies and gentlemen, start your engines! This episode (featuring a beer from Canvas Brewing Co.) is headed straight for victory lane.

Cooper and Nolan are back for another season and trying not to blow it when they cover the winner of this year's audience poll - NINJA IN THE CLAWS OF THE CIA! In this seldom-seen early 80s disasterpiece, legendary martial artist John Liu takes on not one but TWO starring roles in a movie that he also wrote and directed, which according to the guys is about 3 jobs too many.  And as if being hilariously overdubbed, frantically edited, and featuring random scenes that are entirely in Spanish wasn't ridiculous enough, there's also a subplot where the main character has to avoid seduction that launches this movie into truly unbelievable territory.  So don't try to hold out any longer; this very special SEASON PREMIERE episode (featuring a beer from Muskoka Brewery) is loaded up and ready to burst!

Cooper and Nolan are getting trashed this week when they cover THE GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE! Despite the tagline promising a live action heap of fun, when the guys lifted the lid on this stinker that is NOT what they found. Luckily there's lots to talk about, from the truly haunting Garbage Pail Kids' head effects to 80s parenting techniques to who is and isn't allowed to wear a dashiki. There's a lot more to be found as well, so get ready to sift through the mess; this episode (featuring a beer from All My Friends Beer Co.) is one you won't want to throw away!

Cooper and Nolan are wrapping up their 4th season with a prime episode this week when they cover TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN! The second installment in Michael Bay's Transformers franchise takes a lot of flak, and rightly so. But while the guys were fully prepared for the overblown CGI and cringey dialogue in this movie, they were NOT ready for the surprising emotional reactions they both had while watching it, or the even more surprising amount of sexuality. Throw in some racist Autobots, a robot version of TMZ, and Megan Fox's toe thumbs, and you've got the makings of a truly ridiculous time. So dust off the old Camaro; this very special SEASON FINALE episode (featuring a beer from Kings County Brewers Collective) is more than meets the eye!

Cooper and Nolan are going back to biology class this week when they dissect C.H.U.D. II: BUD THE C.H.U.D.! This nonsensical sequel leans HARD into comedy, and inexplicably has nothing to do with the original C.H.U.D. Which is bad news for C.H.U.D. superfans (like a special guest who joins the podcast this week), but great news for anyone who enjoys speculating on topics like the fastest way to open a trunk, whether or not Robert Vaughn was drunk during filming, and if it's true what they say about men with big feet. With all of that plus what might be the most obscure Canadian reference ever, this episode (featuring a certain controversial macrobrew) has got plenty of meat on the bone.

Cooper and Nolan are tasting the water of life this week when they cover the original DUNE! This notorious Dino De Laurentiis production was plagued with studio interference, visual effects problems, and Kyle MacLachlan's terrible acting, all of which forced director David Lynch to have to cram a whole book series' worth of story into a two hour movie. The result was a confusing, plot heavy mess that for some reason features a VERY sweaty Sting. But is that bizarre piece of casting (along with the curiosity of watching a legendary bomb for the first time) enough to make this enjoyable for the guys? According to an ancient prophecy, this episode (featuring a beer from Dune Hopper Brewing Co.) contains the answer!

Cooper and Nolan are going off the rails this week when they board the TERROR TRAIN by special request! This canuxploitation slasher stars Jamie Lee Curtis in another enjoyable scream queen performance, but it's a cameo by legendary 80s magician David Copperfield that REALLY captures the guys' imaginations. His potential role in getting this movie made is just one of many theories shared in this episode, along with Charles Bronson's underwear preferences, nursing home romance, and what makes an effective fraternity prank - not to mention the superior sequel to this movie that COULD have been made. The train is absolutely packed and it's leaving the station, so make sure you're on time; this episode (featuring a beer from Railway City Brewing) is one you don't want to miss!