Bob Dylan Sucks | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: Head to http://Drinklightstrike.com to learn more! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/BEARS and get 10% off your first month. In this wet and mild episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back together to catch up on everything that's been going on since the last time they were face to face. They debate who the strongest comedian is, Bert claims it's himself, Tom suggests Godfrey or Carrot Top. Who do you think it is? The bears also talk about how cities kind of blow, Bob Dylan sorta sucks, Mussolini inventing fascism, Bert's big summer plans, Chrissy D performing at MSG on 9/11, plus some Oscars thoughts, some opinions on refrigerated food, and the different flavors of Spanish around the world. Enjoy the show! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 279 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:12 - Strongest Comedian Living 00:09:16 - Medical Emergency In Show 00:17:43 - Georgia's Trip To Spain 00:22:45 - Bert's IG Feed 00:26:28 - Horrible IG Feed 00:31:31 - Mussolini Deep Dive 00:35:42 - Mean Girls 00:39:53 - Fridge Food 00:41:33 - Coffee Drinks 00:46:27 - Top Dog Coffee 00:53:10 - Spanish Accents 00:59:10 - Emilia Perez 01:02:00 - The Oscars Are Over 01:06:24 - Bob Dylan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can’t make the 5K in Tampa? Register for the 2Bears virtual 5K at http://www.2bears5k.com Become a paid channel member of YMH to get 2 Bears, 1 Cave episodes one day early and AD-FREE here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/join SPONSORS: -Visit https://tonal.com and use promo code BEARS for $200 off your purchase. -Try VIIA! https://viia.co/BEARS and use code BEARS! -Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code BEARS -- just pay $5 shipping. -Download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS. In this wild episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert Kreischer flies solo—well, almost. He’s joined by the hilarious Chris Distefano for a chaotic, high-energy conversation that somehow covers everything from colon health to Benito Mussolini. Chris introduces Bert to the Yuka app and starts scanning his diet, exposing just how questionable his food choices really are. They dive into couple’s therapy, hair loss in men, and Bert’s “child in flip-flops" fashion sense. The two also get deep on career goals in comedy, grinding in the industry, and the "Luigi Mangione of Serbia". But it wouldn’t be 2 Bears without some unhinged history talk—Bert and Chris go off on a tangent about the history of currency, Bitcoin, the time Nazis packed Madison Square Garden, and the Axis Powers (because, why not?). They also touch on Florence, Italy, young people thinking Democrats are gay, and how their families keep them grounded. Strap in, grab a drink (or a Yuka-approved snack), and enjoy the show! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 278 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:32 - A Colon Conversation 00:06:41 - Fun With The Yuka App 00:18:15 - Couple's Therapy 00:20:56 - Male Pattern Perfection 00:29:40 - Flip-Flops & Comedy Aspirations 00:39:29 - Famous Beef 00:43:08 - Grounded By Family & Bitcoin 00:54:18 - Are You Führer About That? 01:00:32 - The Luigi Mangione Of Serbia 01:03:14 - Florence & Fun Facts About Mussolini 01:09:31 - Comedy Hustling 01:18:26 - Podcasts 01:25:05 - Democrats Are Gay Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Register for the 2Bears 5K at http://www.2bears5k.com, happening May 4th in Tampa Bay, Florida. Don't miss out on the early bird pricing! SPONSORS: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/BEARS and get 10% off your first month. Secure your online data TODAY by visiting https://ExpressVPN.com/bears. Your summer wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @‌chubbies with the code cave at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/cave #chubbiespod Head to https://policygenius.com/BEARS to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura joined by a pair of guest bears, the Are You Garbage? boys Kevin Ryan and H. Foley! They've got a documentary special coming out and they talk all about the intimacies of behind the scenes moments and the classic comedy bit of shitting your pants on camera. Christina P had the pleasure of recently appearing on Are You Garbage and the trio give the "Queen of Garbage" her flowers. They also talk about how insane Philadelphia got when they won the Super Bowl, the importance of mean old coaches, getting thrown out of restaurants, financial goals, being a big baller when the bill comes, shady banks, and the homicidal shenanigans of Tom's kids. Check it out! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 277 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:05:10 - Crapping Your Pants On Film 00:16:36 - Restaurant Chaos & Philly Super Bowl Bliss 00:24:05 - Clip: Old Mean Coach 00:30:18 - The Queen Of Garbage 00:38:49 - Tom's Kids 00:48:48 - This Is Not Financial Advice 00:55:08 - Shady Banks & Money Goals 01:03:08 - What's Next? 01:09:48 - Big Baller Bills Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. Go to https://LiveGood.com/BEARS to save 10% on your first order. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at https://mintmobile.com/bears. Go to https://shipstation.com and use code CAVE to sign up for your FREE trial. Visit https://tonal.com and use promo code BEARS for $200 off your purchase. It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Burnt Krystals being joined by guest bear, the great Kevin Nealon! Tom is away looking into getting a hair job in Turkey or something, so Kevin is in to pick up the slack. Fresh off the SNL 50th Anniversary event, Bert and Kevin talk all about SNL and the funny group of friends that Kevin has had around him from there. They also talk about why comedy was their calling, how long Bert can keep up the shirtless thing, gifting people sharp objects, aging with fans, staying fit, and Kevin Nealon speaking at Garry Shandling and Norm Macdonald's respective funerals. Kevin and Bert also swap Norm stories and Bert impresses with his investigative journalist skills. Check it out! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 276 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:56 - Funny Friends 00:03:58 - Saturday Night Live 00:17:18 - Why Comedians Comedian 00:22:26 - First Time Success 00:32:17 - Staying Healthy 00:41:36 - Aging With Fans & Fat Heads 00:46:41 - Lady Jane & Sundance 00:50:21 - The Shirtless Comic 00:56:09 - Even Keeled 01:02:45 - Sharp Things 01:07:06 - Saggy Old Man 01:16:33 - Cutting Back 01:19:12 - Morbid Thoughts On Burials 01:26:27 - Norm Macdonald 01:32:32 - Last Questions & Kevin's Book Of Drawings Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/BEARS and get 10% off your first month. Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today! Start the New Year off right with an upgraded wardrobe. Save on @‌trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod Get The Beard & Balls Bundle for 20% OFF + Free International Shipping with code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com! #ManscapedPartner Get started at https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer!!! The bears are back together and Bert managed to keep all his toes. This week Tom and Bert talk medical updates, mortality, Bert's trip to Paris, and toxic rich person traits. Speaking of traits, Bert tumbles down a rabbit hole of self-diagnosis with Tom and has a realization that he may or may not have some sort of personality disorder. He suspects it's something called HPV or maybe it was HBP, I forget which one it was. Anyway, Bert has a therapy sesh with Tom, and then they talk about LeeAnn's country bumpkin attitude in France, social anxiety, Bert's plan to throw pennies around the city, the Hawk Tua girl's financial mistake, and much more! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 275 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapter Markers 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:21 - Medical Updates & Mortality Conflicts 00:08:14 - Bert In Paris/Dictator Colognes 00:18:40 - Rich Kids 00:24:21 - Personality Traits 00:31:57 - Center Of Attention 00:39:15 - Living With Charo & The Virtue Of Silence 00:44:54 - Social Anxiety 00:52:10 - An American Bumpkin In Paris 01:00:06 - No More Screen Time 01:04:36 - Bert's Penny Plan 01:08:36 - A Hawk Tua Rant Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code BEARS. - Get up to 10 FREE meals and a free high protein item for life at https://HelloFresh.com/bears10fm. - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! - Try VIIA Hemp! https://viia.co/BEARS and use code BEARS! - Head to https://NetSuite.com/BEARS to download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning. It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Burnt Krystals being joined by guest bear, blink-182 drummer Travis Barker! The Bears just announced the return of the 2 Bears 5k in Tampa and Travis is psyched for it, as he's become a running enthusiast over the years. In fact, he's got a marathon he's planning of his own going down in New Orleans coming up! Bert and Travis discuss the harrowing plane crash that Travis survived 17 years ago and how it changed his entire life. They also talk about riding around in tour buses, sharing the same bus driver, what motivators they like for marathons, the Kardashians, Joe Rogan's influence, meeting music greats, favorite tours, and rock star comedians, plus Travis also reveals his own unique tuna fish salad recipe! Try it out! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 274 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT) or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min. $5 bet. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://dkng.co/dk-offer-terms. Ends 2/9/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters Markers 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:49 - Running 00:05:04 - Surviving A Plane Crash 00:11:01 - Marathon Motivators 00:19:38 - Sharing A Bus Driver 00:22:01 - The Plane Accident 00:31:27 - Kardashians/Joe Rogan 00:34:57 - Being Grounded 00:39:31 - Fear Of Flying 00:43:35 - Staying Healthy 00:45:34 - Car Talk 00:52:41 - Do You Like Fame? 00:56:29 - 2 Bears 5k & Travis Barker's New Orleans 5k 00:59:57 - Clip: Bert Did An Ollie 01:02:08 - Drumming & Musical Influences 01:07:57 - Favorite Tour 01:10:38 - New Generation Discovering Old Music 01:12:55 - Tuna Fish Salad 01:17:08 - Comedians Are The New Rock Stars 01:22:05 - Do The Leg Work Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join us in Tampa Bay, Florida on May 4th for the 2 Bears 5K! Register at https://2Bears5k.com Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Go to https://zbiotics.com/BEARS and use BEARS at checkout for 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/BEARS and get 10% off your first month. Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today! Head to https://ExpressVPN.com/bears to get an extra four months FREE. Let’s get more of you talking in a new language. Babbel is gifting our listeners 60% off subscriptions at https://Babbel.com/BEARS. It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura being joined by guest bear, comedian, actor, and influencer Druski! Tom opens the show doing his best impression of Magic Johnson, much to Druski's amusement, before the two chat about Coulda Been Records, Druski's comedic American Idol-esque series that went from a joke to an actual global phenom. The duo also talk about touring around the world, career goals, Druski's ambitions, karate, sketch shows, fan engagement, and they bond over their mutual interest in Fancy Chef. Tom also introduces Druski to Robert Paul Champagne, they talk Alabama football, and Druski comes clean about what went down when he was invited to a Diddy party! Bert coulda been in this episode, but he was busy. Plus Druski abrupt leaves at the end of the episode...super random. Enjoy! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 273 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:39 - Coulda Been Records 00:08:56 - Touring Around The World 00:11:12 - Clip: Druski In Jamaica 00:11:30 - Diddy & The Cream Of The Crop 00:18:56 - Goals & Ambitions 00:22:25 - Fanbase Engagement & Sketch Shows 00:33:05 - Fancy Chef 00:44:26 - RPC 00:48:16 - Clip: Coulda Been Chill Security 00:54:36 - Karate + Druski's Mom 01:01:25 - Roll Tide Willie & Alabama Football 01:08:28 - Coulda Been Love Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: -Go to https://shopify.com/bears to start selling with Shopify today. -Start the New Year off right with an upgraded wardrobe. Save on @‌trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS ! #trueclassicpod -Go to https://LiveGood.com/BEARS to save 10% on your first order. -To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, and get the plan shipped to your door for FREE, go to https://MINTMOBILE.com/bears. -Go to https://shipstation.com and use code CAVE to sign up for your FREE trial. It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura being joined by guest bear, Adam "Pacman" Jones! "Pacman" is a former NFL cornerback and return specialist, who currently hosts The Pacman Jones Show, a streaming show on the BetOnline platform. Tom and Pacman talk about NFL shit talkers, the dirtiest players in the game, gaining confidence in your own skills, college football, spending money on dumb things, winning millions at the casinos, soft coaches, passing down wisdom to younger players, and golden toilets. Pacman also tells Tom about his dislike of Pittsburgh, his relationship with Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, and tells his side of the story about what happened the night of the Jake Paul/Mike Tyson fight. Enjoy! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 272 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:40 - Tyson Vs Paul Fight 00:05:47 - Life On Field As An NFL Player 00:15:38 - Best NFL Sh!t Talkers 00:22:13 - First Job & Pacman's Self Confidence 00:30:36 - College Football Has Changed 00:35:44 - That First NFL Check 00:39:49 - Strip Club Drops & Las Vegas Wins 00:43:12 - Trouble Nights & Advice For Youngbloods 00:48:25 - Dirty Players, White Receivers, & NFL Legends 00:54:15 - Rivals 00:57:52 - Misconceptions 01:00:32 - Plugs 01:02:48 - Jerry Jones Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/BEARS and get 10% off your first month. Unlock 10% off your entire order this January! Visit https://betterbiom.com and use promo code 2BEARS at checkout. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Let’s get more of you talking in a new language. Babbel is gifting our listeners 60% off subscriptions at https://Babbel.com/BEARS. WHAT'S EVERYBODY! It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bart Chrysler! Los Angeles is being ravaged by wildfires right now, so Tom and Bert chime in on what's going and how serious the damage has been. The destruction has hit very close to home for them, so much so Bert's got himself a go bag ready by the door. The bears also talk about their kids playing sports, dumb shirts with pot leaves on them, ruining vacation photos, gifts for family, Tom's mom and sister both moving to Austin, Muslim fashion, a national uniform for people in America, clever Hollywood writers, and Nikki Glaser's Gold Globes hosting job. Bert also shares a story about Andrew "Dice" Clay asking him to keep his sons safe in LA, plus other stories from LA. Stay safe out there! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 271 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT) or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min. $5 bet. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://dkng.co/dk-offer-terms. Ends 2/9/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapter Markers 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:22 - The Los Angeles Wildfires 00:15:04 - When Sh!t Gets Real 00:21:13 - Go Bags 00:29:06 - Uncle Bert/Kids Playing Sports 00:39:14 - Vacation Ruining Gear 00:43:14 - Gifts For Family/Tom's Sister & Mom Moved To Austin 00:52:41 - Muslim Fashion/Regional Uniforms 01:01:51 - Hollywood Writers/Nikki Glaser 01:09:19 - Back To LA Wildfires Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Try VIIA! https://viia.co/BEARS and use code BEARS! Visit http://BlueChew.com to receive your first month FREE! Download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS. WHAT'S Errybody?! Welcome back to 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week, Tom Segura and Bort Kreysher are joined by Ari Shaffir! The trio talk about Shaq's habit of Facetiming on the toilet, before deep diving into the drama surrounding Brianna Chickenfry and Zach Bryan. Forgiving and forgetting is impossible for some people to do, ya know? The three guys next get into Ari's new special and return to Netflix, which gets interrupted by Bert going on a tangent about beefing with Black Twitter. They also discuss Protect Our Parks, making Joe Rogan proud, compliments from black people, Bert's bench bet, insurance being a total scam, serial killer fantasies, alternative news, and weirdo evil dudes like Diddy and Jared the Subway Guy. Enjoy! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 270 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT) or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min. $5 bet. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://dkng.co/dk-offer-terms. Ends 2/9/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices