Why Does Parenting Feel So Different as a Projector?

One of the most valuable things Human Design has given me as a parent is understanding how I’m designed to interact with my children, not just in theory, but in the reality of everyday family life. In this episode, I’m sharing why one-on-one time has become such an important part of my parenting practice as a Projector, and how stepping out of the group dynamic allows me to truly see my children in a way that feels nourishing, regulating, and deeply aligned for all of us.This episode is for the Projector parent who feels touched out, overwhelmed, or like they disappear in the chaos of family life. It’s a reminder that your ability to see deeply is one of your greatest gifts, and that sometimes the most powerful thing you can do for your child is slow down long enough to truly notice them. Because when we create space to see our children clearly, we also create space to trust ourselves, our intuition, and the wisdom we bring to our families.Highlights:Why one-on-one time feels so different for me as a Projector parentThe hidden cost of constantly splitting my attention between multiple childrenHow spending focused time with my kids helps me see what they really needWhy Projectors are uniquely gifted at recognizing patterns and guiding family dynamicsLearning to trust my observations, share what I see, and take up space as a parentYou’re Invited it produced by Six-Two Studio.Support the showFind me at alexcantone.com and at Parenting By Design on Substack

Lately, I’ve been noticing that everywhere I go parents are trying so hard to do it differently. I was sitting at the gym watching mothers crouch down to meet their children in the middle of huge emotions, watching them pause instead of punish, regulate instead of react, and it hit me how deeply this generation of parents is reparenting themselves in real time through the way we care for our children.In this episode, I’m talking about emotional regulation, reparenting, and the moment I realized that tending to my child’s emotions was also teaching me how to finally tend to my own. I’m talking to the parent who feels overwhelmed by their child’s emotions, who worries they’re getting it wrong, or who is realizing that parenting is bringing their own unresolved wounds to the surface. It’s a reminder that our children don’t need perfection from us. They need presence. And sometimes the most healing thing we can do, for them and for ourselves, is to pause, soften, and choose to respond differently than what was modelled to us.Highlights:Why so many of us freeze when our children have big emotionsThe difference between reacting to our children vs. regulating with themHow parenting is revealing the emotional support we may not have received ourselvesA real-life moment with my son that reminded me it’s never actually “about the trash”Why Human Design can be such a powerful tool for both parenting and reparenting yourselfYou’re Invited it produced by Six-Two Studio.Support the showFind me at alexcantone.com and at Parenting By Design on Substack

I didn’t grow up with examples of healthy conflict. I learned to avoid it, to keep the peace, to let things go even when they didn’t feel good. And now, in my 30s, I’m learning something completely new; how to have hard conversations, how to tell the truth, and how to risk the relationship in order to actually have one that’s real.In this episode, I’m sharing what’s been unfolding for me as I move through friendship shifts, breakups, and deeper levels of honesty in my relationships, especially in this season of motherhood where my capacity has changed and I can’t keep pretending anymore.This episode is for anyone who struggles to speak up, who fears that honesty might cost them the relationship, or who is quietly holding onto things that don’t feel right.Highlights:Why avoiding hard conversations can take a bigger toll than having themWhat it actually means to “risk the relationship” and tell the truthThe grief and reality of friendship breakups (and why we don’t talk about them enough)Why expecting others to read our needs sets everyone up for failureRecognizing when a relationship can evolve… and when it’s time to let it goYou’re Invited it produced by Six-Two Studio.Support the showFind me at alexcantone.com and at Parenting By Design on Substack

I’ve been struggling with self-care since becoming a mom, and not just finding the time for it, but actually knowing what to do with the time when I have it.In this episode, I’m sharing what’s been coming up for me as I navigate this new season where I technically have space for myself — two full days a week — and still find myself feeling lost, overwhelmed, and honestly; busy doing nothing.This is a real-time reflection on what it looks like to relearn myself, to stop defaulting to what self-care should look like, and to finally ask a much more honest question: what actually nourishes me?This episode is for the mom who finally gets a moment to herself; and freezes. The one who feels like she should know how to take care of herself, but doesn’t anymore. And it’s a reminder that maybe nothing has gone wrong — you’re just being asked to meet yourself in a completely new way.Highlights:The unexpected struggle of having time for yourself and not knowing how to use itThe pattern of being “busy doing nothing” and what’s actually underneath itWhy typical self-care (gym, yoga, errands) wasn’t truly filling me upThe difference between self-care and real, system-specific nourishmentHow using my voice became the most energizing and regulating practice for meYou’re Invited is produced by Six-Two Studio.Support the showFind me at alexcantone.com and at Parenting By Design on Substack

I’m recording this sitting on the floor of a half-finished room. My house is a mess, laundry everywhere, dishes in the sink, toys scattered across every surface, and everything in me is telling me I should go clean it up before I let myself do this.But I didn’t. I pressed record anyway.This episode is really about that moment, the one where you choose to tend to yourself even when everything else feels like it’s asking for you first.In this episode, I talk about what it’s actually like to move through motherhood as a Projector in a life that constantly requires you to respond.I share the tension between wanting to slow down and feeling like I’m always being pulled into doing, fixing, managing, and tending. I unpack a concept that used to trigger me deeply: “Projectors aren’t designed to be parents.”Now that I am a Projector Parent, how do I feel about that concept?If you’re a Projector mom who feels stretched thin, overstimulated by the mess, and quietly guilty for not having endless energy to give, this episode is for you. When we stop forcing and start listening, our kids will show us exactly where we’re meant to meet them.Highlights:Why motherhood can feel especially draining for Projector energyHow I’m learning to do less with my kids (and why that actually works better)Creating independence in the home to reduce constant demandsWhat it looks like to wait for my children to invite me into their worldHow my kids are showing me, in real time, the kind of mother they need me to beLetting go of the idea that everything needs to be “in order” before I can show upYou’re Invited is produced by Six-Two Studio.Support the showFind me at alexcantone.com and at Parenting By Design on Substack

In my first episode back after a three-year hiatus giving birth and raising my babies, I open up about what it actually feels like to come out of the postpartum fog. After two back-to-back pregnancies, suddenly I don’t fully recognize my life, or myself, anymore.There’s a moment in life no one really prepares you for. The moment where everything you ever wanted is finally here. The love, the partner, the babies, the home, the life you spent years dreaming about, and yet, somewhere inside of it, you feel like you’ve disappeared.This is a conversation about identity. About nervous system truth. About the difference between a life that looks good and one that actually feels good.If you’re a mother who feels stretched between who you used to be and who you are now, if you’ve built a life that “should” make you happy but something feels off, if you’re craving a way back to yourself, your voice, your energy — this episode is for you.Highlights:The disorienting “waking up” after survival modeLosing yourself in love, motherhood, and the life you thought you wantedThe pressure to be grateful when something doesn’t feel rightThe quiet resentment that builds when you ignore your body’s cuesAnd the truth so many women are afraid to say out loud: just because you’re good at something… doesn’t mean it’s meant for youYou’re Invited is produced by Six-Two Studio.Support the showFind me at alexcantone.com and at Parenting By Design on Substack

This one's for you if you've found yourself in a space where you're seeking recognition beyond follower counts and likes. Or if you've stumbled upon Human Design and come to the realization that maybe the people you surround yourself with don't actually see you in the way you desire them to. Wherever you're at on your journey, allow these words to support you in finding the recognition you're designed for.Support the showFind me at alexcantone.com and at Parenting By Design on Substack

Let's face it - as Projectors, we LOOOOOVE to feel helpful. But how do we have boundaries when it comes to offering what we *know* to those around us? As a guide I believe I am here to direct people back to their own inner awareness. And not just anyone, but those who invite me to do so. Here's my take on the difference between being a guide and offering unsolicited advice.Support the showFind me at alexcantone.com and at Parenting By Design on Substack

Not feeling as productive and energetic as the rest of the world? I feel you. Here's a little boost to support you in understanding how you are designed to show up in a way entirely different than those around you. Support the showFind me at alexcantone.com and at Parenting By Design on Substack

I want to reintroduce my partner, Chris to the show as he's going to be around here more! Chris and I recorded an episode this past summer right before we found out I was pregnant. Needless to say our surprise pregnancy journey has shifted our dynamic A LOT. I decided to put this throwback episode on display before Chris makes his next appearance on the pod. If you're curious about Projector - Generator dynamics in partnership, this episode is a great listen!Support the showFind me on Instagram @alexcantone