Episode 346: Stop Telling Your Anxious Child That Things Will Be Ok (What They Need Instead)

When we’re raising children with big emotions, it can be exhausting trying to handle their behavior, moods, and attitudes along with everything else on our to-do list. Sometimes we lose our cool and say things that we regret… Other times, we find ourselves being too permissive just to avoid a meltdown. However, one simple phrase can help you find a consistent balance and become a more powerful positive influence, even in the hard moments! In this episode, you’ll learn:  How to balance connection and confidence, so your kids want to follow your lead How to use this phrase in a variety of situations (with real-life examples) The long-term effects of this approach, including how it affects them and how it affects you!  --  FREE RESOURCE: How to raise children with big emotions with HEALTHY SELF ESTEEM Join Rachel’s Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

When we’re raising kids with big emotions, we often learn how to navigate their behavior, moods, and attitudes to avoid meltdowns and dramatic moments. But sometimes, even when we’re doing everything “right,” our children’s behavior can throw us a curveball --  crying for seemingly no reason, refusing to do something they wanted to do, or getting disproportionately angry over a small inconvenience. These situations can leave us frustrated, confused, and powerless to help. In this episode, you’ll learn:  What we need to understand about our kids’ confusing behavior  Why specific reactions often make them more upset How to spend less energy addressing frustrating and confusing behavior  -- FREE EVENT: "The Negativity Reset" for a more positive summer (no live participation required) Join Rachel’s Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

Many kids with big emotions seem to default to negativity—even after a day full of fun and connection. When we witness their lack of positivity, we often think things like, “Why can’t they just be happy?” or “Why are they acting so spoiled?” We feel frustrated that their mood can derail the whole family’s energy, and we feel helpless to do anything about it. But we are not helpless!  In this episode, you’ll learn: Exactly kids focus on what went wrong, even when so much went right How we keep ourselves stuck in a cycle of negativity – and a simple way to break free A quick plan that takes less energy and helps you respond with calm leadership when the negativity shows up Plus, you’ll hear more about a free event, The Negativity Reset, where you’ll learn exactly how to respond when your child is stuck in a negative loop—without rescuing, overexplaining, or letting it ruin your summer. -- FREE EVENT: "The Negativity Reset" for a more positive summer (no live participation required) Join Rachel’s Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

Many children with big emotions also struggle with anxious thoughts. When our child feels scared, nervous, or overwhelmed, our first instinct is usually to reassure them that everything will be okay. But what if we are actually making it HARDER for them to feel better in the moment and build resilience for the future?  In this episode, you’ll learn:  Why, in our defense, we’re wired reassure our children when they feel anxious  What happens in our kids’ brains when we reassure them (and why they often feel more anxious after we try to help) Three things our children with big emotions actually need to regulate their nervous system --  Join the "Daily Lift" for daily encouragement for $1 Resource: Understanding Yuck and the Yuck Curve Join Rachel’s Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

When we see our kids struggling with things like schoolwork, or friend drama, or dealing with a teacher they don’t like, we often offer suggestions to help them get through those situations more easily. But what should we do when our children give short or snarky responses to our genuine attempts to help?  In this episode, you’ll learn:  Why kids are so resistant to our suggestions, even if they know they’re good ones What we almost always do that makes the situation worse How to respond to this type of attitude so that you maintain your positive, powerful influence (and they don’t get away with anything!)  --  Join the "Daily Lift" for $1 Free summary of (and examples from) this episode Join Rachel’s Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

People who have big feelings have many strengths. They understand other people really well and often have very strong, meaningful relationships. But there are also potential downsides to having big emotions, like having a hard time making decisions, feeling different from friends and family members, and feeling bad about themselves. Fortunately, there is something that we can do as parents to help our kids with these struggles, while strengthening their resilience and self-esteem.   In this episode, you’ll learn:  What it was like for me growing up as a highly sensitive person in a family that didn’t feel things as strongly Two common side effects of having big feelings What we can do to help our kids handle their discomfort in healthy ways and build their confidence rather than eroding it -- Join the "Daily Lift" for $1 FREE RESOURCE: Fostering Resilience Without Sacrificing Self-Esteem Join Rachel’s Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

We know setting limits for our children is an important part of parenting. But kids with big emotions often have over-the-top reactions that seem disproportionate to the situation. How can we handle their reactions effectively when we are exhausted by their rudeness, disrespect, and negotiations?  In this episode, you’ll learn:  Why children have big reactions to reasonable limits What we’re doing as parents that often makes it worse How we can help our kids handle discomfort when things don’t go their way (without losing our influence!)  -- Join the "Daily Lift" for $1 FREE RESOURCE: Defuse dramatic situations by understanding the Yuck Curve Join Rachel’s Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

It's natural to want to do a “good job” as a parent. We want to be attentive, be calm when our kids are having a difficult time, teach them all the skills they need to know in life…and it's easy to be really hard on ourselves when we don't do all of those things well. The good news is, our kids don’t need parents who never make mistakes -- they actually need us to be imperfect!  In this episode, you’ll learn:  Why it’s hard for us to accept that our imperfections make us better parents Four reasons we MUST be imperfect to raise great kids What we should spend our energy on, instead of trying to be good at everything  --  JOIN THE “DAILY LIFT” + WEEKLY “GET UNSTUCK” CONVERSATION FOR $1 Summary and examples from this episode Transcript for this episode Join Rachel’s Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

If you are raising a child or children with big emotions, you probably deal with a lot of drama throughout the day: anxiety, resistance, disrespect…maybe even your child speaking negatively about themselves. The good news? There are a lot of strategies that can help. The bad news? There are a lot of strategies that can help. And often because there are a lot of these strategies that can help, you may feel so exhausted and run down that you don’t know which strategies to try first or what your next step should be.  This episode includes:  What keeps us feeling stuck and unable to move past our overwhelm The first step we need to take to get unstuck -- and why it doesn’t take any extra energy! How one simple shift can help us find more lightness inside and more peace in our homes  JOIN THE “DAILY LIFT” (+ WEEKLY “GET UNSTUCK” CONVERSATION) FOR $1 Transcript for this episode Join Rachel’s Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

If you are raising children with big emotions, you are probably used to their big reactions when they are tired, hungry, or overstimulated. But sometimes children have big reactions even when there is no obvious reason, leaving us feeling confused and like we have to walk on eggshells around them.   In this episode, you’ll learn:  What is going on when our kids act overly irritated or annoyed but it isn’t clear why  How to recognize what I call “energy mismatches” (with examples) What we can do to help our kids have fewer big reactions -- and more confidence and healthy self-esteem --   Transcript of this episode FREE RESOURCE: Summary of this episode Join Rachel’s Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab