Episode 694: When One Partner Grows and the Other Doesn’t

I’m back with a deep dive into a topic that many listeners have either asked me directly or perhaps quietly wondered about but may not say out loud: what happens when one partner is invested in personal growth and the other isn’t? Drawing from my own journey, years of interviews with experts, and Gottman Institute research, I explore in this solo episode how this dynamic plays out in relationships and what it can mean for intimacy, compatibility, and long-term partnership. Relationships don’t always end because of one big betrayal or crisis. Sometimes, they slowly drift apart as one person evolves and the other prefers comfort and predictability. I’m unpacking the tension between growth-oriented partners and stability-oriented partners—and ask the hard question: can these two ways of being coexist, or does the gap eventually become too wide? What you’ll hear in this episode: How growth-oriented and stability-oriented partners value relationships differently  The ways personal transformation can unintentionally feel like criticism  Why recurring arguments often reveal deeper, unspoken dreams  What happens when one partner turns toward—or away from—bids for connection  How couples can accept influence from each other without fully sharing the same goals  A framework for building a shared meaning system that balances stability and growth  The moment of clarity that comes from realizing you’re asking for more than the relationship can provide  Why leaving isn’t always failure, but sometimes an act of integrity At its core, this conversation is about honoring both your partner’s truth and your own. My invitation to you is to invite you to reflect on what you most deeply want in a relationship and to trust your intuition when the paths no longer align. Resources from this episode: Email me ([email protected]) or send me a DM on Instagram if you’re interested in deeper work in a new group program I’ll be offering soon! 691 When Growth Rocks the Boat668: Lesson 8: Leaving people behind to find yourselfSeven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: https://andreaowen.com/podcast/694 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m welcoming back Wendy Valentine, a pocket full of sunshine, reinvention expert, and empowerment coach, to celebrate her brand-new book, Women Waking Up: The Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose, and Play. Whether you’re in midlife yourself or looking for a thoughtful gift for the women in your life, in this conversation and throughout her book, Wendy shares inspiration and tools you can carry into any season.  In this episode, Wendy brings frameworks, strategies, and encouragement for waking up to your fullest self. We explore what it means to move through the dark night of your soul, those heavy, disorienting seasons that can actually serve as a sacred initiation into your next chapter. Plus, we talk about self-reflection as the foundation for all of it, including simple ways to carve out space to check in with yourself, even when life feels overwhelming. What you’ll hear in this episode: The most common disempowering thought in midlife and how to overcome it (5:20) The Freedom Framework: Wendy’s seven-step process for creating lasting change (16:10) Midlife, menopause, and perimenopause and why these transitions are catalysts, not crises (24:48) The Stop, Drop, and Roll method as a practical tool to reframe negative thoughts (32:15) How to make self-reflection a priority, even when life feels too full (33:48) Resources from this episode: Andrea’s email list: andreaowen.com/free Wendy’s website Wendy’s book, Women Waking UpWendy on InstagramApp blocker ✨ If you’re in a season of stretching, expanding, or navigating complex emotions in your relationships, I’ve got something coming up just for you. This new, deeper program is designed to help you build shame resilience, reconnect to self-trust, and stop abandoning yourself for others’ comfort. It’s still brewing—but if you’re curious, DM me on Instagram @heyandreaowen or email us at [email protected]. I’ll personally reach out with more details to see if it’s for you.  Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: https://andreaowen.com/podcast/693 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Trauma-informed life strategist Elyssa Smith joins me to unpack procrastination, self-sabotage, reparenting, and the art of saying no, topics that shape how we show up every single day. Together we explore how these patterns are rooted in our nervous system from a young age, why they’re often survival strategies in disguise, and how compassion is the foundation for lasting change. As this conversation highlights, “There is another way of being, and I am going to be curious about it.” Elyssa’s stories and strategies will give you permission to start small, with what I call “turtle steps”, and remind you that self-compassion is always the key. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did!  What you’ll hear in this episode: Procrastination: why it’s more than just a “bad habit” and how it often stems from trauma (4:26) Reparenting: practical and surprisingly simple ways we can support our own emotional healing (15:46) Self-sabotage: how it shows up, the role shame plays, and the importance of gratitude and self-compassion when facing it (29:59) Saying no: why choosing yourself is part of the healing process and how to start saying no without drowning in guilt (43:47) Resources from this episode: Elyssa’s Facebook Group: Stress Less Lounge Elyssa’s website ElyssaCSmith on Instagram Existential Kink, Carolyn Elliot PhD (book) ✨Interested in a future Rythmia Ayahuasca retreat with me? I now have details! Drop a DM on Instagram @heyandreaowen or email support[at]andreaowen.com with the subject line “AYA Interested” and I’ll share more information with you. Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ https://andreaowen.com/podcast/692 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back to the third and final part of a “series” that’s become a whole love letter to personal growth, grief, and what happens when those two things crash up against the realities of our relationships. If you missed episodes 687 (The Perpetual Pregnancy of Grief) and 689 (The Grief That Comes After the Relationship Ends), consider this the closing chapter of a conversation on becoming more yourself, and what that means for the people who’ve been walking alongside you… your partner(s), friends, and family.  This episode is about that challenging, complicated (and often painful) space where your healing starts to create tension in a relationship. Maybe you’re in a season of deep inner work, therapy, journaling, finally setting boundaries… and suddenly, something in your partnership (or friendship or family dynamic) starts to feel off. This isn’t just about romantic relationships—though that’s often where it hits hardest. It’s about what happens when one person evolves faster, deeper, or differently than the other. And what we do with the grief, the self-doubt, and the desire to stay connected without losing ourselves. What you’ll hear in this episode: The three outcomes that tend to happen when one person outgrows the relationship’s current dynamic How shrinking to keep the peace becomes a subtle form of self-abandonment What it looks like to “go back to old behaviors” to avoid rocking the boat Why love doesn’t have to be perfectly paced to still evolve together What happens when you give someone the dignity of their own process—even if it means walking away The real reason why some grief only shows up after you feel safe enough to grow Why your healing is not the villain (even if it feels like it’s causing a rupture) Reflection questions for your own growth  If you’re in a season of stretching, expanding, or navigating complex emotions in your relationships, I’ve got something coming up just for you. This new, deeper program is designed to help you build shame resilience, reconnect to self-trust, and stop abandoning yourself for others’ comfort. It’s still brewing—but if you’re curious, DM me on Instagram @heyandreaowen or email us at [email protected]. I’ll personally reach out with more details to see if it’s for you.  Resources from this episode: Episode 687: Carrying Grief: A Perpetual Pregnancy of the Soul Episode 689: The Love That Let Me Feel Again Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ https://andreaowen.com/podcast/691 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What really happens in your brain during an ayahuasca ceremony? I’m talking with Dr. Jeff McNairy, Chief Medical Officer and co-founder of Rhythmia Life Advancement Center in Costa Rica, about the science, the spiritual side, and how plant medicine can support deep healing, if it’s right for you. Psychedelic therapy isn’t for everyone, and I get that. But when the soulful, spiritual side of healing meets actual neuroscience, I’m all in. At the end of the day, it’s about your health, your healing, and knowing all of the options available to you. Plant medicine is something I’ve been exploring, and it’s been profoundly helpful in my own growth. That’s why I’m bringing you this conversation with Dr. Jeff. We get into how trauma gets stored in the body, what’s really going on in your brain during ayahuasca, and why it’s not a cure-all (and not for everyone).  What you’ll hear about in this episode: How untreated trauma gets stored in the amygdala and shows up as anxiety and why our “push through it” culture makes it worse (7:38) Dr. Jeff’s path from running rehab and psychiatric programs in LA to working with plant medicine in Costa Rica (16:19) Why ayahuasca isn’t for everyone, what to consider before trying it, and how to know if you feel “called” (22:14) The neurochemistry of ayahuasca: what DMT does in your brain and how it can help release trauma (27:31) Common results Dr. Jeff sees at Rhythmia: from reduced anxiety and depression to long-term emotional shifts (49:26) My own “double reaction” during ceremony and Dr. Jeff’s take on what was happening physically and spiritually (56:56) Resources from this episode:✨Interested in a future Rythmia Ayahuasca retreat with me? Drop a DM on Instagram @heyandreaowen or email support[at]andreaowen.com with the subject line “AYA Interested” to be added to the interest list! My Ketamine Therapy Journey secret podcast seriesRythmia Retreat Andrea on Instagram @heyandreaowen Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: https://andreaowen.com/podcast/690 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I know, I know, I’ve been talking about grief a decent amount lately, and this week’s episode brings yet another angle—one we don’t talk about nearly enough. This is about the kind of grief that sneaks in long after the breakup papers are signed and the dust has settled. The grief that only makes itself known once you’ve created enough distance, or when—surprise!—you fall in love again and finally feel safe enough to feel. And this doesn’t just happen after a marriage ends and someone falls in love again. It can happen in our friendships, relationships with family, even jobs or careers.  In this episode, I’m sharing the surprising grief that surfaced two and a half years after leaving a long relationship. This isn’t the obvious “heartbreak grief” that hits you right after the end. This is the grief that comes from looking in the review mirror. From realizing how much you self-abandoned, finally feeling seen and loved, and grieving all the versions of yourself that didn’t get that. We’re also looking at what it really means to “grow apart” in a relationship, why you can’t prescribe someone else’s evolution (aka “how can I get my partner to be into personal growth more?”), and how love (new or long-term) can become an amplifier for healing if you let it. If you’ve ever asked, “How do I get my significant other  on board with my personal growth and their own?” or “Why does this new relationship feel so tender and terrifying at the same time?”—this one’s for you. Why “growing apart” is more than a vague excuse—and how to tell when it’s actually happening The quiet grief that follows clarity and hindsight How self-abandonment can masquerade as “keeping the peace” The sneaky ways we shrink to feel loved (and how that resentment creeps in) What happens when new love cracks you wide open in the best (and hardest) ways Why some grief only shows up after you feel safe How love can either be a bypass or an amplifier; and why the difference matters Interested in my next group program? It’s deep, intimate, and designed for this kind of layered, soul-level work. It's still in development (she doesn’t even have a name yet, but currently referring to it as “The Deep Work” 👀), but if you're curious, send me a message and I’ll personally reach out with more details when I have them soon.  Resources from this episode Leaving People Behind podcast episode DM me on Instagram @heyandreaowen and tell me what resonated most from this episode. Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ https://andreaowen.com/podcast/689 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s episode is all about spiritual deconstruction, what it is, why it happens, and what comes after. I’m joined by Brittney Hartley, an atheist spiritual director with a Master’s in Theology who has created a captivated following with her content. I love how Brittany talks about this topic with honesty, clarity, and depth. I wanted to bring this topic to the podcast because so much of what I teach is about deconstructing beliefs that no longer work for us and figuring out what does actually work for you. Religion is often one of those things. From both my personal experience and what I know so many of you have gone through, I think you’re going to love this conversation with Brittney. Here’s what really hit me in our conversation: spiritual deconstruction isn’t just about walking away from religion. It’s about rebuilding a sense of meaning that actually aligns with who you are, not who you were told to be. Brittney shares what helped her through the unlearning process, how religious trauma shows up in sneaky ways (especially for women), and why reclaiming your intuition and identity is deeply spiritual work. What you’ll hear about in this episode: Brittney’s spiritual deconstruction story from Mormonism to theology school to becoming an Atheist Spiritual Director (5:40) Personality traits more likely to lead to deconstruction (spoiler: empathy, curiosity, and authenticity play a big role) (13:27) The sneakier signs of spiritual trauma for women raised in patriarchal religions (15:33) Anchors and practices that helped Brittney rebuild her identity, including discovering core values (20:34) The biggest culprit of religious trauma for women (28:35) Resources from this episode: Interested in doing deeper work within a group setting and with me? Drop a DM on Instagram @heyandreaowen or email support[at]andreaowen.com with the note “Interested in your deeper work” and I’ll send you more details. Britt’s website Britt’s book, No Nonsense Spirituality Britt on Instagram @nononsensespirituality The Heroine’s Journey, Maureen Murdock Deconstruction, Dogma, and Spiritual Beliefs with David Hayward Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: https://andreaowen.com/podcast/688 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Grief isn’t just for death and divorce, but can and is often woven into the everyday tapestry of our lives. It can be quiet, sneaky, and many times overlooked. In this solo episode, I’m talking about the grief we don’t always see: the loss of old dreams, former versions of ourselves, identities, even ambition. And how if we don’t acknowledge it, it finds a way to show up. Whether you’ve been triggered by someone on Instagram or you’re navigating life after a major loss, my hope is that this episode will meet you where you are, with curiosity, compassion, and the reminder that our healing starts when we’re willing to name what we’ve lost. What you’ll hear about in this episode: Why grief is more than just sadness and how it can manifest as anger, disconnection, or “What’s wrong with me?” How to recognize the invisible griefs in your life, from motherhood shifts to identity changes The power of curiosity to disrupt autopilot thinking and uncover deeper truths What a triggered Instagram spiral taught me about grieving old versions of myself How grief is especially necessary right now in our collective moment and why we need to make space for it Journaling questions from this episode: How did this topic of grief land for you? What if you could let yourself name what you lost? Where might grief be quietly shaping your decisions or energy? Is it speaking for your inner critic? Resources from this episode: Andrea on Instagram Devotion 1:1 Program Podcast episode on feeling alive and whole My Ketamine Therapy Journey secret podcast series Interested in a future Rythmia Ayahuasca retreat with me? Drop a DM on Instagram @heyandreaowen or email support[at]andreaowen.com with the subject line “AYA Interested” to be added to the interest list! Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: https://andreaowen.com/podcast/687 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I’m thrilled to welcome back Erin Claire Jones to talk about her new book How do you choose? a human design guide to what’s best for you at work, in love, and in life. I geek out on anything that helps us better understand ourselves, like astrology, personality assessments, and of course, Human Design. So you know this conversation lit me up. Not just because I love the mystical-meets-practical vibe of Human Design, but because Erin dropped so many truths around self-trust, letting go of old patterns, and finally owning what fuels you. Here’s my biggest takeaway from our conversation: Human design can be a real tool for self-acceptance. It helps you look at parts of yourself you may have spent years trying to fix, and instead help you love the hell out of them. What you’ll hear about in this episode: What human design actually is (6:27) A breakdown of the five energy types and what they reveal about how you move through the world (7:56) What your design might say about your patterns in relationships (15:51) Why decision-making is at the heart of human design and how to stop overthinking and start trusting your body (16:51) The importance of knowing and understanding your Human Design authority (26:05) The connection between your Human Design and your career path (33:51) Resources: Interested in private coaching with me? Email support(at)andreaowen.com or DM me on Instagram @heyandreaowen Devotion: A 6-Month Private Coaching Experience Look Up Your Human Design Blueprint Get Your Custom Human Design Blueprint Guide - Use the code NOISE for a 10% discount Erin’s book, How do you choose?Erin on Instagram @erinclairejones Human Design Coaching Certification - Use the code NOISE for a 10% discount Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: https://andreaowen.com/podcast/686 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if healing isn’t a single moment or a fireworks-style breakthrough? What if sometimes healing is a long quiet burn - a long sunrise? In this solo episode, I’m sharing what it’s been like to be in the middle of the most gutting transition of my life. I’ve been through change before, but this one has stretched across years. It’s shed versions of myself I’ve lovingly, but slowly, let go of. And the truth is: there is no pressure to rush your transition, or what I’m calling a “sunrise”. It’s not a race. It’s a return to who you are at your core. What you’ll hear about in this episode: That “I thought I’d be done by now” feeling and the myth of arrival The metaphor of the longest sunrise and why your healing doesn’t need to look like a montage How ignoring your intuition in the past might still hold insight for today, and what changes when you believe your intuition now Letting go of the need for dramatic transformation and embracing slow, steady shifts If you’re deep inside your own transition, wondering when clarity will arrive, this is your reminder: you’re not behind. You’re just in the sunrise. Resources: Public Facebook post Andrea on Instagram Devotion: A 6-month private coaching experience My Ayahuasca Experience My Ketamine Therapy Journey secret podcast series ✨Interested in a future Rythmia Ayahuasca retreat with me? Drop a DM on Instagram @heyandreaowen or email support[at]andreaowen.com with the subject line “AYA Interested” to be added to the interest list! Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: https://andreaowen.com/podcast/685 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices