Why Shame Isn't the Enemy: Dr. Frank Spinelli on Trauma, Healing & Self-Acceptance (The Velvet)

After years of conversations about growth, relationships, self-discovery, healing, and figuring out what the hell we’re actually doing here, Kelly and Chip are taking some of their own advice. In this episode, they look back at the moments that made them laugh, the conversations that changed them, and what they’ve learned from doing Velvet’s Edge together. They also talk about why knowing when a season feels complete can be just as important as knowing when to keep going. With new opportunities, changing priorities, and a realization that constantly trying to balance everything can leave very little room to actually take care of yourself, Kelly and Chip are listening to what life is asking of them right now and putting the podcast on hiatus. It’s less about an ending and more about making space for whatever comes next. Because sometimes growth looks like pushing forward—and sometimes it looks like trusting yourself enough to let a chapter be complete.   Watch us on YouTube! (By clicking this) Email us: [email protected] TikTok: @velvetsedge Follow the podcast on Instagram: @VelvetsEdgePodcast HOSTS: Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com Chip Dorsch // @chipdorschFollow Velvet's Edge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/velvetsedge/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After a viral post from trauma-informed somatic therapist Jordan Dann sparked intense reactions online, this conversation takes a deeper look at something bigger than a reality TV reunion. Kelly and Jordan unpack the difference between accountability and public shaming—and why the line between the two has become so blurred. What starts as a discussion about Love Is Blind quickly opens into a much larger conversation about how we process mistakes, conflict, and other people’s humanity in a world that increasingly rewards quick reactions over thoughtful reflection. They explore why public punishment can feel satisfying to watch—but doesn’t actually lead to real growth. The conversation also dives into how shame actually impacts the nervous system, and whether we’ve started to confuse humiliation with justice. Along the way, they touch on Jordan’s writing about the collapse of critical thinking online—and what it means when we stop engaging with nuance altogether. Kelly brings her own personal experiences into the discussion, offering an honest perspective on what it feels like to be misunderstood publicly—and why shame doesn’t lead to change, it leads to defensiveness. Check out more from Jordan Dann: Website // Instagram // Substack Watch The Velvet's Edge on YouTube! Email us: [email protected] TikTok: @velvetsedge Follow the podcast on Instagram: @VelvetsEdgePodcast HOST: Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.comFollow Velvet's Edge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/velvetsedge/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kelly and Chip unpack Kelly’s recent convo with psychic medium John Edward and his new book Chasing Evil, where he helps the FBI solve real crimes. They share their own experiences with psychics, those uncanny intuitive gut hits, and dive into a bigger conversation about karma and soul lessons—what they actually believe, what they’re questioning, and how it all ties back to the idea that there might be more going on than meets the eye. John's Instagram: @psychicmediumje John's Website: https://johnedward.net His New Book: Chasing Evil John's App: Evolve+: discount for VE listeners: cookie2025   Watch us on YouTube! (By clicking this) Email us: [email protected] TikTok: @velvetsedge Follow the podcast on Instagram: @VelvetsEdgePodcast HOSTS: Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com Chip Dorsch // @chipdorschFollow Velvet's Edge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/velvetsedge/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kelly sits down with world-renowned psychic medium John Edward to talk about his new book, Chasing Evil—a gripping look at where psychic ability meets criminal investigation. Before diving into the story, Kelly and John explore the foundations of psychic work—how intuitive gifts show up for all of us, why the topic sparks such strong reactions, and what it means to practice with ethics and responsibility. They also discuss John’s surprising collaboration with the FBI, the transformation of skeptics into believers, and the moments that proved intuition can reveal what logic can’t. The conversation closes with reflections on spirituality, hardship, and letting go—why “letting go” doesn’t mean failure and how we can find meaning in life’s darker chapters. Socials: @psychicmediumje Website: https://johnedward.net New Book: Chasing Evil John's App: Evolve+: discount for VE listeners: cookie2025  HOST: Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.comFollow Velvet's Edge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/velvetsedge/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kelly and Chip talk to intimacy expert, Susan Bratton, on all things intimacy and sex. Kelly inquires about why sex is the one area of our lives that we don't put the growth work into like we do everything else. Chip discovers new questions about sexual soulmates. Susan also talks about her own journey from being unsatisfied sexually in her marriage and finally speaking up to her husband and choosing intimacy over divorce. She gives tips on taking the sexual growth step solo or with your partner to keep evolving sexually. The purpose of this conversation is to normalize a topic that has become so "taboo" to discuss yet is a fixture in every person's day to day life. Susan teaches that there is beauty in learning together, even if it is a bit uncomfortable first. Socials: @susanbrattonWebsite: susanbratton.com Watch us on YouTube! (By clicking this) Email us: [email protected] TikTok: @velvetsedge Follow the podcast on Instagram: @VelvetsEdgePodcast HOSTS: Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com Chip Dorsch // @chipdorsch  Follow Velvet's Edge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/velvetsedge/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if sexual wellness has far less to do with sex than we've been taught? Pamela Madsen, founder of Back to the Body and one of the pioneers in women's sexual wellness, joins Kelly for a fascinating conversation about why so many women become disconnected from their bodies, their pleasure, and themselves—and how that disconnect impacts every area of life. Together, they unpack what sexual wellness actually means, why women are rarely taught to prioritize pleasure the way men are, and how body shame, cultural conditioning, and life experiences can leave us feeling disconnected from ourselves for decades. They also discuss: What somatic sex education and sexological bodywork actually are How body shame, food, sensuality, and pleasure become deeply connected Why reconnecting with pleasure can improve confidence, creativity, and overall well-being How women's relationship with intimacy changes through perimenopause and menopause—and why this chapter can actually become a new beginning Why it's never too late to reconnect with your body, no matter your age Follow Pamela on Instagram: @thepamelamadsen Visit backtothebody.org Follow @backtothebody on Instagram!   Watch The Velvet's Edge on YouTube! Email us: [email protected] TikTok: @velvetsedge Follow the podcast on Instagram: @VelvetsEdgePodcast HOST: Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.comFollow Velvet's Edge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/velvetsedge/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After Kelly's conversation with Dr. Florence Comite, Kelly and Chip sit down to share what resonated most—and how it's showing up in their own lives. They talk openly about why they've each chosen to use testosterone, what they were hoping to improve, and what they've actually noticed so far. But this conversation goes far beyond hormones. It's an honest discussion about taking ownership of your health, navigating the changes that come with getting older, and figuring out what actually helps you feel your best. Whether you're curious about hormone optimization, interested in longevity, or simply trying to make smarter health decisions, this episode offers a relatable look at what Kelly and Chip are learning along the way. Watch us on YouTube! (By clicking this) Email us: [email protected] TikTok: @velvetsedge Follow the podcast on Instagram: @VelvetsEdgePodcast HOSTS: Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com Chip Dorsch // @chipdorschFollow Velvet's Edge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/velvetsedge/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hormones affect so much more than reproduction—they influence our energy, mood, metabolism, brain health, muscle mass, sleep, and how we age. So why are so many women only talking about them once symptoms become impossible to ignore? This week, Kelly sits down with Yale-trained endocrinologist, physician-scientist, and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Florence Comite to discuss a more proactive approach to women’s health. They break down what estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone each do in the body, how chronic stress can impact hormones, what really happens during perimenopause and menopause, and why metabolic health may be just as important as hormone health. They also discuss the lab markers worth paying attention to, the difference between “normal” and “optimal” blood work, the connection between biological aging and lifestyle, and the daily habits—from strength training and nutrition to glucose monitoring—that can have the biggest impact on long-term health. Visit Dr. Comite's Website here. (florencecomite.com) Buy Dr. Comite's Book Invincible: Defy Your Genetic Destiny to Live Better, Longer   Watch The Velvet's Edge on YouTube! Email us: [email protected] TikTok: @velvetsedge Follow the podcast on Instagram: @VelvetsEdgePodcast HOST: Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.comFollow Velvet's Edge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/velvetsedge/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After Kelly’s conversation with Dr. Frank Spinelli, she and Chip couldn’t stop thinking about one question: what’s the difference between guilt, shame, and embarrassment, and why do so many of us confuse them? This week, they unpack the ideas that stuck with them most, including where shame has shown up in their own lives, how it can quietly keep us playing small, and why the need to belong makes shame such a powerful force. They also discuss why shame has been used as a form of social control throughout history and what it looks like to move toward more self-acceptance instead. And because it’s Kelly and Chip, they also somehow end up talking about their travel outfits and a few other completely unrelated things along the way.   Preorder Dr. Spinelli's book The Shame Compass or his website here. (FrankSpinelli.com) Dr. Spinelli's Instagram: @fspineellimd   Watch us on YouTube! (By clicking this) Email us: [email protected] TikTok: @velvetsedge Follow the podcast on Instagram: @VelvetsEdgePodcast HOSTS: Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com Chip Dorsch // @chipdorschFollow Velvet's Edge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/velvetsedge/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Frank Spinelli spent more than 20 years as a practicing physician, helping others while privately battling alcohol addiction and carrying the weight of unresolved childhood trauma. After being forced to revisit his own experience of childhood sexual abuse during the Boy Scouts of America bankruptcy case, he began to understand shame in a completely different way, ultimately developing a new framework for healing that became the foundation of his book, The Shame Compass. In this episode, Kelly and Dr. Spinelli explore why shame isn't something to eliminate, but something to understand. They discuss the difference between shame and guilt, how trauma shapes the way we see ourselves, practical tools for working through emotional triggers, and why self-acceptance starts with curiosity instead of judgment. Preorder Dr. Spinelli's book The Shame Compass or his website here. (FrankSpinelli.com) Dr. Spinelli's Instagram: @fspineellimd   Watch The Velvet's Edge on YouTube! Email us: [email protected] TikTok: @velvetsedge Follow the podcast on Instagram: @VelvetsEdgePodcast HOST: Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.comFollow Velvet's Edge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/velvetsedge/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.