ShatGPT | Pastry Week

Right you're not going to believe it but Ciarán has only gone a done a journalism this week. It has to be heard to be believed. The excitement of caramel clearly got to him. And as a result we have a smidge of tea to divulge. Get the milk and several biscuits. Also tell a friend about the podcast this week. Or an enemy. Up to you really. Love you x

It's Free From Party Week! 'What's that' you say? Depends who you ask. If you ask Ciara and Ciarán they'd say it's a pretty good episode of the bake off. Featuring rising star of the animal kingdom, the Axolotl, Connie's specs watch and only a bloody comment from Star Baker himself Gabe! Keep your comments coming in, they genuinely fill us with such joy. xxx

Butter emails! Welcome to pastry week. Ciara and Ciarán are once again on hand to discuss the latest episode of Bake Off in a way where you may not be sure if they even watched it. This episode has everything: an incredible rooster impression from Ciara, the remnants of Ciarán's chest infection and your chance to come up with what listeners of Two Soggy Bottoms should be called! Leave a comment, tell a friend and do something nice for yourself as well, you deserve it. Love yiz xxx

Huge week for fans of desserts! Ciara and Ciarán battled adversity to deliver this episode, which is just as well, because this episode had it all – a Handmaid's jumper, loads of chocolate orange and a plonky BFG, if you can even believe it. We're halfway through the series and it's all to play for. Do us a little favour and please like and share this podcast, we adore the glory x

It's clear from the outset that Ciara and Ciarán weren't particularly bemused with Bread Week and that's because it was actually just a bit boring. Paul Hollywood was rock hard from start to finish and loved telling everyone they were bad at bread. And the technical was very simply a JOQUE. Nevertheless, we persist and hold out hope for next week. Enjoy, you little scamps x

Ciara and Ciarán are frankly quite miffed at not being consulted for Audience Choice Week, but once they set that aside, they deliver another stunning episode of baking analysis. This one has everything. Twists, turns, dead dogs. It's all there waiting for you to listen! Give us a decent rating and tell your cousin. Love ya xx

The Nigellaissence continues into week two of Bake Off! Ciara and Ciarán are here to chat bird watchers, biccies and baseless allegations with no root in fact. Special prize if you give us the time stamp of what sounds like a crow in the background. And stay tuned for 'Ciara's toothpaste travel tips' which may or may not become a staple segment. Enjoy x

Well tickle a pheasant and call it Marjorie – we're back for another series of TSB!! Frankly we're just in it for Nigella, much like the rest of the viewership and indeed listenership of this podcast, we're assuming. Get stuck in to Ciara and Ciarán's gentle ribbing of the new contestants and their baking efforts while they try to bake stuff. We missed you! Enjoy it, slags x

We made it - it's the final! And there was a huge shock winner! A true underdog story with a rightful twist at the end. Just kidding it all went to plan. But at least there was two breakages, bad dough, excellent spoon puppetry and Iain on a horsey. What more could you need?! Thanks for listening to the series dissection with us lil clowns. Go on, be good x

It's the semis and all flags are flying at half mast given the loss of a certain Irish short king last week. Your loyal hosts aren't sure what pâtisserie is so please stop asking them. There's a huge upset in the showstopper challenge and frankly the bit of drama was much-needed. Who's going to win? Find out next week by watching the actual show, then listening to the final episode of this average but charming podcast x