What Happy Couples Think Differently | Ted Lowe

What if the way we think about ourselves, our spouse, and our marriage is shaping the way we love? Ted Lowe joins us to unpack how our thought life influences our attitudes, actions, anxiety, empathy, and connection in marriage. Drawing from his book Us in Mind, Ted helps us identify the “Fred” in our head—the inner critic that tells us stories that may not be true—and replace those thoughts with what God says about who we are. We talk about practical ways to recognize negative thought patterns, respond to our spouse’s emotions with empathy instead of trying to fix them, and embrace a purpose for marriage centered on loving first and reflecting the love of Jesus. Whether our marriage feels easy or requires more intentional work, we can find practical ways to change the way we think so we can love our spouse better.What We LearnedOur thoughts may not be our actions or attitudes, but they influence both—and our thought life can shape how we treat our spouse.The inner critic, or “Fred,” can use mind-reading, fortune-telling, labeling, and shame to shape the stories we tell ourselves.Naming and writing down those thoughts can help us separate the inner critic’s voice from our identity and recognize patterns that need to be challenged.Remembering who we are as adopted sons and daughters of God gives us a different posture than living from fear, shame, or the need for other people’s approval.Empathy in marriage often means stepping into our spouse’s emotional experience instead of immediately trying to fix it.Simple responses like “That’s understandable” or “If I were you, I’d feel the same way” can communicate empathy without minimizing the other person’s emotions.The purpose of marriage is not simply to keep things fair; for Christian couples, Ted describes it as reflecting the love of Jesus by submitting to one another and choosing to love first.Loving first means we can stop keeping score over whose turn it is and instead focus on putting our spouse’s needs ahead of our own.Resources MentionedUs in Mind by Ted Lowe: book on Amazonstudy on RightNow MediaTed Lowe — https://tedlowe.comRomans 8:15Ephesians 5:21Produced by Sound of a Rose — https://soundofarose.comSupport the show

What happens when shame convinces us that something is fundamentally wrong with who we are—and we carry that belief into our closest relationships? In this conversation, we continue exploring shame with John Lynch through a deeply personal story about criticism, vulnerability, trust, and the freedom that comes when we allow safe people to know the real us. We look at how shame can quickly turn into blame, emotional unavailability, and hurt for the people around us—and how bringing those hidden places into the light can break that cycle. Together, we explore what it means to trust someone else's more accurate assessment of us, receive love and protection, and remember that our mistakes and moments of failure do not define who we are in Christ. We also talk about the importance of having safe people who can remind us of the truth when shame catches us off guard—and how honest vulnerability can unlock deeper connection, intimacy, and love.What We LearnedShame tells us that something is uniquely and irreparably wrong with us and that we can never change it.Shame can quickly turn into blame, causing us to hurt or blame the people closest to us instead of facing what is happening inside.John realized he had not fully trusted his wife, Stacy, with the hardest and most embarrassing parts of who he was.When John finally shared his hurt with Stacy, she reminded him of who she knew him to be and created a safe place for him to receive her love.Trusting another person's more accurate assessment of us can free us from the lies we carry about ourselves.Shame doesn't always lead to obvious blame; it can also make us emotionally unavailable, exhausted, and unable to be present with the people we love.Sharing our shame with someone safe can decrease its power and unlock our ability to connect, love, and be loved.We need Christ and safe relationships to continually remind us that our shame story does not define us.Resources MentionedThe Cure – Trueface Store Trueface | Live Fully Alive Produced by Sound of a Rose — https://soundofarose.comSupport the show

Could shame be shaping the way we see ourselves, God, and even our relationships without us realizing it? We go back to the garden in Genesis to explore the origins of shame, the difference between guilt and shame, and the patterns of hiding, pretending, blaming, and striving that can follow us for years. John Lynch helps us see how the shame story can become deeply rooted in our identity—even after we become believers—and why simply knowing biblical truth in our heads doesn't always mean we experience its freedom. We unpack what the cross accomplished for our shame, what it means to be a new creation in Christ, and how we can return to these truths when shame resurfaces. Ultimately, we are reminded that our shame does not define us, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, and we can rest in the reality of Christ in us.What We LearnedShame entered the human story when Adam and Eve moved from innocence to hiding after their sin in the garden.Guilt says, “I've done something wrong,” while shame tells us that something is fundamentally wrong with who we are.Fig leaves, masks, striving, and proving ourselves can become ways of managing shame rather than addressing what is underneath it.Shame can cause us to fear what God will do with us and whether we can actually be restored.The cross addresses more than our sin—it addresses our shame and means we are no longer defined by our old shame story.Galatians 2:20 points us toward a new identity: Christ lives in us rather than our old identity defining us.Feeling shame again does not mean we have failed to believe the truth; there can be a lag between understanding these truths and experiencing them.When shame resurfaces, we can return to the same truth: we are new creatures, there is no condemnation in Christ, and God is delighted with us.Scripture MentionedGenesis 3Hebrews 12:2Galatians 2:202 Corinthians 5:21Romans 8:1Produced by Sound of a Rose — https://soundofarose.comSupport the show

What if the goal of our spiritual lives isn’t to prove ourselves to God, but to become the people He is shaping us to be? We explore the exhausting tension between living for God and learning to live with Him, especially when achievement, ministry, perfectionism, and identity become tangled together. Carolyn Taketa shares from decades of experience in leadership, ministry, coaching, and her own journey with grace, reflecting on how God used motherhood, community, suffering, and unexpected moments to reshape her understanding of His love. We talk about the difference between effort and earning, the freedom of a life centered on becoming, and how authentic community helps us recognize growth we often cannot see in ourselves. Together, we consider how asking “What kind of person is God inviting me to become?” can change the way we approach work, relationships, leadership, and our walk with Jesus.What We LearnedGod is more interested in who we are becoming than what we are doing in ministry.Living with God is fundamentally different from living for God when our activity becomes tied to proving our worth.Grace is not opposed to effort; it is opposed to earning.Motherhood became a “laboratory” where Carolyn began to experience God’s love more tangibly by recognizing how deeply she loved a child who could do nothing to earn that love.Growth is progressive: we may revisit the same struggles, but we can face them from a different level of understanding and maturity.Instead of asking only which job, ministry, or life decision is “right,” we can ask which choice will help us become more like the person God is shaping us to be.Authentic community helps us see progress that we cannot recognize in ourselves and gives us encouragement when we lose perspective.The fruit of the Spirit can reveal where we are being invited to trust God more deeply and grow in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.Resources MentionedCarolyn TaketaDallas Willard quote Jan JohnsonWhat's So Amazing About Grace by Philip YanceyWhere the Light Fell: A Memoir by Philip YanceyThe CureSaving Private Ryan (1998)Galatians 5:22TruefaceTrueface Life app: App Store / Google PlayProduced by Sound of a Rose — https://soundofarose.comSupport the show

What happens when we choose forgiveness before we know how the story will turn out? We explore the surprising connection between forgiveness, trust, grace, and the freedom that comes when we stop trying to control an outcome. Bruce McNicol, Trueface founder and president emeritus, shares a formative story from his childhood about watching his father respond to a serious breach of trust in business—not with retaliation, but with forgiveness. We unpack why forgiveness isn't about ignoring justice, avoiding accountability, or guaranteeing a particular outcome. Instead, it can be an act of trusting God and receiving His grace to heal our relationships. Along the way, we consider the difference between external actions and our internal posture, why trust must be earned, and how choosing forgiveness can create peace and freedom in our own lives. We also hear how one man's decision to forgive ultimately influenced someone who was watching decades later.What We LearnedForgiveness can be an act of trusting God when a situation is outside our control.Trust is earned, and being a Christian does not automatically make someone trustworthy.Forgiveness and repentance aren't simply tools for behavior management; they can be gifts of grace that help heal relationships.We can pursue accountability, wise business practices, and justice while still choosing forgiveness internally.The peace and freedom that come through forgiveness can benefit the person doing the forgiving, regardless of how the other person responds.We don't always know who is watching how we respond to broken trust, and our choices can influence people years later.God can work through formative experiences long before we understand their purpose.Forgiveness ultimately invites us to trust God with outcomes we cannot control.Resources MentionedTruefaceTrueface High Trust Leader CourseThe CureEugene Peterson’s The MessageProduced by Sound of a Rose — https://soundofarose.comSupport the show

What if the fear driving our exhaustion, anxiety, and self-protection is actually pointing us toward a false view of ourselves or God? We continue our conversation with Jamie Winship about discovering our true and specific identity, learning to tell the truth about our fears, and allowing confession to lead us toward repentance and transformation. We explore why living from a false identity keeps us self-focused and self-protective, while knowing who God created us to be frees us to become more other-focused and loving. Jamie also shares a practical daily discipline of releasing burdens to God, receiving what He has for us today, and remembering that today is enough. Together, we unpack how fear can serve as a directional signal, how community helps us discern what God is inviting us into, and why God's presence—not our performance—is the foundation of transformation.What We LearnedThe false self is driven by fear, self-protection, and self-promotion, while the true self is able to live with other-focused, self-emptying, unconditional love.Identity is described as the organizing principle of every living system; when we live from our true identity, we become reciprocal and connected rather than isolated and self-focused.Knowing our identity goes beyond being a child of God or being filled with the Holy Spirit; we can also discover the specific ways God has uniquely designed us to contribute and serve.Confession is more than saying "I'm sorry"—it is telling the truth about what we actually believe, including our fears, our view of God, and our sense of separation from Him.Truth telling can lead to repentance, mind change, and ultimately transformation because we cannot change what we refuse to acknowledge.Fear is a directional signal, not a decision maker. When fear surfaces, we can ask God, "What am I afraid of?" and examine what the fear reveals about what we believe about God, ourselves, or others.A daily practice of releasing burdens and lies to God, then receiving what He has for us that day, helps us live in the truth that today is enough.Discernment becomes clearer when we stop assuming every opportunity is an assignment from God, identify what makes our hearts come alive, and remain open to the changing seasons of what He invites us into.Resources MentionedLiving Fearless — Jamie WinshipIdentity ExchangeTrueface1 John 1:9Romans 12:1-2Produced by Sound of a Rose — https://soundofarose.comSupport the show

What if hearing from God is more practical than we've been taught? We revisit one of our favorite conversations with Jamie Winship as he shares how discovering his God-given identity transformed the way he approached fear, relationships, and everyday life. We explore how learning to recognize God's voice shaped Jamie's work as a police officer, why identity is deeper than our vocation, and what it looks like to follow Jesus in ordinary moments. If you've ever wondered whether God still speaks today or how to live with greater confidence in your identity, this conversation offers a compelling invitation to trust Him in every part of life.What We LearnedIdentity comes from God—not from what we do, what we have, or what other people think about us.Fear is one of the greatest obstacles to living the life God designed us to live.God often meets us in ordinary moments and unexpected places, not just traditionally "spiritual" environments.Our vocation is not our identity; our identity is what brings life and purpose into our vocation.Learning to hear God's voice is a discipline that grows through asking questions, paying attention, and practicing obedience.Abiding with Jesus means inviting Him into everyday conversations, decisions, and relationships—not just spiritual activities.God frequently reveals Himself most clearly in places of darkness, desperation, and uncertainty.Obedience is hearing God's voice and responding, rather than simply following rules.Resources MentionedLiving Fearless — Jamie WinshipIdentity ExchangeBecoming What You BelieveTruefaceSerpico (1973)Athletes in ActionProduced by Sound of a Rose — https://soundofarose.comSupport the show

What does it look like to actually walk with Jesus in everyday life—not just during church on Sunday? We sat down with Tim Timmons to talk about his new song, "Wreckage and Rain," written for The PATH Album, and the deeper themes of shame, healing, grief, gratitude, and authenticity that inspired it. Together, we explored why following Jesus is more about joining Him in the ordinary moments than performing for others, how hidden wounds keep us stuck, and why taking off the mask can change the way we experience both God and our relationships. We also discussed Tim's upcoming appearance in I Can Only Imagine 2, his battle with stage four cancer, and why hope isn't found in circumstances but in the presence of God.What We LearnedFollowing Jesus is practiced during the "10,000 minutes" between church gatherings, not just the 80 minutes spent together on Sundays.Authenticity begins when we're willing to stop protecting our own kingdom and start seeking God's kingdom instead.Shame says our failures define us, while healthy correction reminds us we are deeply loved even when we make mistakes.Healing doesn't always come with time alone; God often meets us in the ongoing tension between grief and gratitude.Vulnerability creates space for others to be honest too—the gift of "going first" changes relationships.Biblical belief is more than agreeing with truth; it's living as though that truth is actually real.Hope is rooted in God's presence and His work of restoration, not in getting the outcome we want.Writing songs as prayers creates space for honest conversations with God that others can join.Resources MentionedThe PathThe Cure Tim Timmons Journey Church10,000 MinutesI Can Only Imagine 2Waking Up AgainJess CatesBenji CowartDan AllenderProduced by Sound of a Rose — https://soundofarose.comSupport the show

THE PATH MUSIC is more than an album—it's an invitation to experience the Father's love in a way that moves beyond information and into transformation. We sat down with Bruce McNicol (Trueface Co-founder & President Emeritus), Benjamin Crawshaw (Trueface Director of Member Engagement), Jason Pamer (film producer and writer, known for Rape for Profit (2012), Saved for a Reason (2016), and Anima (2026)), and Josh Silverberg (11-time Grammy, Dove Award, and Emmy nominee, songwriter, producer, and founder of Savage Sync House) to explore the heart behind this unique songwriting project inspired by The Path.Together, we discuss how a community of award-winning artists gathered in Nashville to write original songs based on each chapter of The Path, why music uniquely reaches places that words alone cannot, and how trust, identity, friendship, and the Father's delight became the foundation for every song. We also hear the story behind the collaboration, the creative process, and the hope that these songs will help listeners move from performance to trust as they experience the love of God.Bruce wanted to honor Jason, Josh and the entire songwriting/artist community with legendary producer Quincy Jones’ urging, “When making music you’ve got to leave space for God to walk through the room.” That’s exactly what this whole songwriting community did—they made space for God to walk through those writing rooms. What We LearnedMusic can communicate identity and the Father's love in ways that spoken or written words often cannot.Every song on The Path Music was written to embody one chapter and one core theme from The Path.The project brought together artists from diverse backgrounds and church traditions around a shared love for Jesus and His grace.The creative process prioritized relationships, prayer, excellence, and thoughtful collaboration over speed or production volume.The message of trusting God instead of living to please Him became a central theme throughout the conversation.God invites us into relationship before performance, and His delight isn't earned through our achievements.The hope for the album is that listeners experience healing, identity, and deeper trust in the Father's love.Resources MentionedThe PathThe Cure The Cure & ParentsThe Heart of Man After Death (2023)Bo's CafeQuote by Dr. Curt ThompsonActs 9:26-28Jason Pamer - IMDBJosh Silverberg - The Savage Sync HouseProduced by Sound of a Rose — https://soundofarose.comSupport the show

What if you already are who you wish you were? Benjamin Crawshaw and Brittany Coulson sit down with Mike Donehey to talk about The Path, the upcoming music project inspired by the book, and why so much of our spiritual growth comes back to identity. Together, they explore the freedom that comes from living from God's love instead of striving for it, why confession creates connection instead of shame, and how grace transforms the way we see ourselves, our work, and the people around us. Mike also shares how the songs for The Path album came together, why stewardship is a better framework than leadership, and what changes when we truly believe we are already loved.What We LearnedFailure isn't the opposite of growth—it can be an opportunity to learn, grow, and discover whether we are truly loved.The question "Is that all you got?" creates safety and freedom when people share their failures and struggles.Vulnerability becomes easier when we practice it with trusted people over time.Moving from "Why are you feeling that?" to "What do you think is underneath that?" creates curiosity instead of defensiveness.Identity is foundational: we work from God's approval, not for God's approval.Stewardship reminds us that our gifts are entrusted to us by God rather than earned by our own efforts.Our worth does not rise and fall with our usefulness, performance, or obedience.Sometimes all we have to bring to God is our need—and that is enough.Resources MentionedMike Donehey / Instagram: @MikeDoneheyTrueface: The Path & The CureTenth Avenue NorthAlbums: The Light Meets the Dark & The StruggleSong: Broken PeopleBook: Finding God's Life for My WillDallas Willard quoteProduced by Sound of a Rose — https://soundofarose.comSupport the show