"I Love Jesus, But Hate The Church": Let's Talk About Church Hurt (Part 1)

What does it actually take to build a soft life? This week, we’re joined by author and internet big sister Toni Tone for an honest conversation about creating abundance, peace and fulfilment on your own terms. We unpack why a soft life is about far more than money and luxury, the pressure women feel to hit arbitrary timelines, learning to rest without guilt, having the courage to be disliked, setting stronger boundaries, and building happiness that doesn’t depend on a relationship. Plus, Toni weighs in on a sister’s dilemma about cheating, second chances and whether you should stay for someone’s “potential.” If you’ve been craving a life that feels as good as it looks, this episode is for you.👉🏾 Grab your copy of Toni Tone's new book 'Soft Life' here: https://amzn.eu/d/0drf4pcf 00:00 The truth about the “soft life”05:30 Dilemma: He cheated — should she take him back?16:30 Toni Tone on redefining the soft life22:03 Why ambitious women struggle to rest27:21 Marriage by 30? The danger of arbitrary timelines34:07 Boundaries, standards & the courage to be disliked39:47 How to build a soft life that doesn’t depend on a man💌 Join the TMS Mailing List: https://www.tomysisters.com📧 E-mail us your dilemmas and episode suggestions: [email protected] 💌 JOIN US ON SOCIAL MEDIA! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomysisterhoodTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/tomysisterhood💌 SAY HI TO THE HOSTS! https://www.instagram.com/cdboatenghttps://www.instagram.com/reneeimafidon💌 ABOUT US:At heart, To My Sisters is the fast-growing digital sisterhood founded to help women across the world leverage friendship and community to manifest their greatest ambitions.To My Sisters is unique in its kind by offering women the space for holistic wellness, growth and healing. From dealing with past trauma to setting up your next business venture, TMS is the one-stop destination for women looking to break the boundaries of what is seen as possible in our time.🎧 LISTEN ON SPOTIFY AND APPLE:https://open.spotify.com/show/2XZh8CVhttps://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/to-my-sisters/id1539343980 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens when the values of the world start creeping into the Church? In this episode, we continue our deeply honest conversation about modern Christianity, church culture, hierarchy, power, prosperity, grace, accountability, women, suffering and what it really means to follow Jesus. We unpack why Christian communities can become more concerned with status than service, why grace should never become an excuse for bad behaviour, how harmful theology can be used to protect people in positions of power, and why our faith has to confront the way we think about everything — from money and relationships to justice and how we treat the vulnerable. Most importantly, we ask: are we actually becoming like Jesus, or have we made other people the standard for our faith?💌 Join the TMS Mailing List: https://www.tomysisters.com📧 E-mail us your dilemmas and episode suggestions: [email protected] 💌 JOIN US ON SOCIAL MEDIA! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomysisterhoodTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/tomysisterhood💌 SAY HI TO THE HOSTS! https://www.instagram.com/cdboatenghttps://www.instagram.com/reneeimafidon00:00 — Has the Church Lost Its Way?04:02 — When Church Hierarchy Becomes Idolatry05:28 — What Jesus Actually Said About Loving People07:44 — Has Christianity Become Too Obsessed With Status?31:27 — We’ve Completely Misunderstood Grace34:14 — The Gospel Is Supposed to Confront You56:05 — Stop Trying to Be Like David, Esther & Paul💌 ABOUT US:At heart, To My Sisters is the fast-growing digital sisterhood founded to help women across the world leverage friendship and community to manifest their greatest ambitions.To My Sisters is unique in its kind by offering women the space for holistic wellness, growth and healing. From dealing with past trauma to setting up your next business venture, TMS is the one-stop destination for women looking to break the boundaries of what is seen as possible in our time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens when the place that was supposed to bring you closer to God becomes the place that hurt you? In this episode, we’re having an honest conversation about church hurt, toxic church culture, spiritual community and what it looks like to still love Jesus after being wounded by His people. We unpack the difference between genuine harm and uncomfortable conviction, why Christian community still matters, the ways women can be failed by church systems, the danger of confusing culture with scripture, and why churches must be willing to listen when people say they’ve been hurt. Whether you’ve left a church, struggled to trust church leadership again, or are trying to rebuild your faith and find healthy community, this conversation is for you.💌 Join the TMS Mailing List: https://www.tomysisters.com📧 E-mail us your dilemmas and episode suggestions: [email protected] 💌 JOIN US ON SOCIAL MEDIA! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomysisterhoodTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/tomysisterhood💌 SAY HI TO THE HOSTS! https://www.instagram.com/cdboatenghttps://www.instagram.com/reneeimafidon00:00 Church Hurt, Faith & Community03:22 “I Left Church, Not Jesus” — Sister’s Dilemma15:18 What Does “Church Hurt” Actually Mean?23:03 Church Hurt or Uncomfortable Conviction?29:22 Why Can’t It Just Be Me & Jesus?45:40 The Ugly Side of Church: Scandal, Abuse & Women58:31 When People Love Jesus But Hate the Church 💌 ABOUT US:At heart, To My Sisters is the fast-growing digital sisterhood founded to help women across the world leverage friendship and community to manifest their greatest ambitions.To My Sisters is unique in its kind by offering women the space for holistic wellness, growth and healing. From dealing with past trauma to setting up your next business venture, TMS is the one-stop destination for women looking to break the boundaries of what is seen as possible in our time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your 30s might be the most powerful decade of your life — but are you using them well? In this episode, we sit down with media mogul, entrepreneur and Glitz Africa founder Claudia Lumor for a candid conversation about purpose, ambition, motherhood, money and what it really takes to build a successful life. Claudia shares why women need to stop putting pressure on themselves to have everything perfectly planned, why your friendships should become more intentional as you get older, how motherhood can fuel rather than derail your ambition, why getting help doesn’t make you a bad mother, and how consistency and trust helped her build an influential brand across Africa. From leaving corporate banking to building Glitz Africa, launching Ghana’s leading fashion week and creating rooms filled with some of the continent’s most powerful women, this is a masterclass in becoming the woman you’re called to be.💌 Join the TMS Mailing List: https://www.tomysisters.com📧 E-mail us your dilemmas and episode suggestions: [email protected] 💌 JOIN US ON SOCIAL MEDIA! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomysisterhoodTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/tomysisterhood💌 SAY HI TO THE HOSTS! https://www.instagram.com/cdboatenghttps://www.instagram.com/reneeimafidon00:00 – Welcome to today's episode! 03:12 – Dilemma: Can You Be “Soft” & Still Succeed at Work? 12:55 – Claudia Lumor: From Corporate Banking to Building Glitz Africa 29:51 – Friendships, Purpose & Why Your 30s Are NOT for Playing 36:32 – Motherhood, Ambition & The Pressure to “Do It All” 46:24 – Money, Consistency & How to Build a Brand People Trust 1:03:17 – Politics, Purpose & Becoming a Woman of Influence💌 ABOUT US:At heart, To My Sisters is the fast-growing digital sisterhood founded to help women across the world leverage friendship and community to manifest their greatest ambitions.To My Sisters is unique in its kind by offering women the space for holistic wellness, growth and healing. From dealing with past trauma to setting up your next business venture, TMS is the one-stop destination for women looking to break the boundaries of what is seen as possible in our time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of To My Sisters, Courtney and Renée ask whether female friendships are becoming too romanticised, unpacking “princess treatment,” possessiveness, dependency and the pressure some women feel to become the provider, planner, protector or even “boyfriend” in their friendships. The conversation expands into “I’m just a girl” culture, adulthood, masculinity and femininity, the impact of being chronically online, dating for social approval, and why character matters more than internet archetypes. Ultimately, they explore how unresolved pain can shape the way we treat others, why healthy friendship requires reciprocity, and the importance of seeing the people in our lives as human beings rather than roles created to fulfil our needs.💌 Join the TMS Mailing List: https://www.tomysisters.com📧 E-mail us your dilemmas and episode suggestions: [email protected] 💌 JOIN US ON SOCIAL MEDIA! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomysisterhoodTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/tomysisterhood💌 SAY HI TO THE HOSTS! https://www.instagram.com/cdboatenghttps://www.instagram.com/reneeimafidon00:00 Your Friend Is NOT Your Man07:53 Dilemma: He Keeps Picking & Choosing When To Love Me13:16 Are We Making Female Friendships Too Romantic?21:43 Princess Treatment, Entitlement & Being Chronically Online26:22 Has “I’m Just A Girl” Culture Gone Too Far?39:15 Masculinity, Men & Why Character Matters More Than Aesthetic50:05 The Deeper Issue: Pain, Humanity & How We Treat People💌 ABOUT US:At heart, To My Sisters is the fast-growing digital sisterhood founded to help women across the world leverage friendship and community to manifest their greatest ambitions.To My Sisters is unique in its kind by offering women the space for holistic wellness, growth and healing. From dealing with past trauma to setting up your next business venture, TMS is the one-stop destination for women looking to break the boundaries of what is seen as possible in our time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if constantly trying to be liked is costing you the person you were actually created to be? In today’s episode, your favourite online sisters unpack the courage to be disliked — from the ways women are socialised to be palatable, agreeable and easy to accept, to the fear of rejection, judgement and disappointment that can keep us trapped in people-pleasing. We talk about learning to disappoint people, rediscovering your likes and dislikes, setting boundaries, embracing your uniqueness and choosing a life of purpose over a life spent performing for everybody else. Plus, we get into a sister’s dilemma about outgrowing a long-term friendship, a very questionable $350 perfume situation 👀, and knowing when it’s time to have the difficult conversation.💌 Join the TMS Mailing List: https://www.tomysisters.com📧 E-mail us your dilemmas and episode suggestions: [email protected] 💌 JOIN US ON SOCIAL MEDIA! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomysisterhoodTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/tomysisterhood💌 SAY HI TO THE HOSTS! https://www.instagram.com/cdboatenghttps://www.instagram.com/reneeimafidon💌 ABOUT US:At heart, To My Sisters is the fast-growing digital sisterhood founded to help women across the world leverage friendship and community to manifest their greatest ambitions.To My Sisters is unique in its kind by offering women the space for holistic wellness, growth and healing. From dealing with past trauma to setting up your next business venture, TMS is the one-stop destination for women looking to break the boundaries of what is seen as possible in our time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are friendships becoming too expensive, or are we simply struggling to admit when we cannot afford something? In this episode, Courtney and Renée explore the growing financial pressures surrounding adult female friendships—from luxury birthday dinners and girls’ trips to weddings, baby showers and the unspoken expectation to keep up. They discuss why women often struggle to speak openly about money, the shame and comparison attached to earning less than your friends, and how social media creates the illusion that everybody else is living comfortably. They also unpack the difference between being financially free and making your friends feel inferior, why generosity matters when your circumstances improve, and how to build friendships where everybody can honestly say, “I don’t have it right now,” without being embarrassed or excluded. Plus, the sisters respond to a dilemma from a woman wondering whether she ended a ten-year friendship too quickly—and whether the relationship may still be worth repairing.💌 Join the TMS Mailing List: https://www.tomysisters.com📧 E-mail us your dilemmas and episode suggestions: [email protected] 💌 JOIN US ON SOCIAL MEDIA! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomysisterhoodTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/tomysisterhood💌 SAY HI TO THE HOSTS! https://www.instagram.com/cdboatenghttps://www.instagram.com/reneeimafidon💌 ABOUT US:At heart, To My Sisters is the fast-growing digital sisterhood founded to help women across the world leverage friendship and community to manifest their greatest ambitions.To My Sisters is unique in its kind by offering women the space for holistic wellness, growth and healing. From dealing with past trauma to setting up your next business venture, TMS is the one-stop destination for women looking to break the boundaries of what is seen as possible in our time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, the sisters are having a proper girl chat! We unpack Netflix’s The Polygamist and the uncomfortable truths it reveals about infidelity, polygamy, financial security, legal marriage, women building with men, and the difference between having access to wealth and actually having ownership. We also debate the growing trend of hiding your partner’s face online, answer a dilemma from a couple wondering whether they can afford to get married, and reflect honestly on the first half of 2026—from anxiety and ambition to second chances, slowing down and learning to build at the pace of grace. Warning: this conversation contains major spoilers for The Polygamist.💌 Join the TMS Mailing List: https://www.tomysisters.com📧 E-mail us your dilemmas and episode suggestions: [email protected] 💌 JOIN US ON SOCIAL MEDIA! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomysisterhoodTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/tomysisterhood💌 SAY HI TO THE HOSTS! https://www.instagram.com/cdboatenghttps://www.instagram.com/reneeimafidon💌 ABOUT US:At heart, To My Sisters is the fast-growing digital sisterhood founded to help women across the world leverage friendship and community to manifest their greatest ambitions.To My Sisters is unique in its kind by offering women the space for holistic wellness, growth and healing. From dealing with past trauma to setting up your next business venture, TMS is the one-stop destination for women looking to break the boundaries of what is seen as possible in our time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The trad wife lifestyle has been sold to women as the ultimate soft life—but what happens when being “provided for” comes at the expense of your autonomy? In this episode, the sisters unpack why trad wife content became so seductive, the difference between a trad wife and a stay-at-home mother, the invisible value of domestic labour, and the very real dangers of becoming completely financially dependent on a partner. From burnout, capitalism and gender roles to marriage, ambition, motherhood and financial security, this is a nuanced conversation about why women should be free to build the lives that genuinely work for them—without shaming career women or homemakers in the process. Plus, in this week’s dilemma, we advise a sister whose best friend has completely iced her out after receiving honest feedback.💌 Join the TMS Mailing List: https://www.tomysisters.com📧 E-mail us your dilemmas and episode suggestions: [email protected] 💌 JOIN US ON SOCIAL MEDIA! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomysisterhoodTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/tomysisterhood💌 SAY HI TO THE HOSTS! https://www.instagram.com/cdboatenghttps://www.instagram.com/reneeimafidon💌 ABOUT US:At heart, To My Sisters is the fast-growing digital sisterhood founded to help women across the world leverage friendship and community to manifest their greatest ambitions.To My Sisters is unique in its kind by offering women the space for holistic wellness, growth and healing. From dealing with past trauma to setting up your next business venture, TMS is the one-stop destination for women looking to break the boundaries of what is seen as possible in our time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Healthy relationships aren't built by avoiding conflict—they're built by learning how to navigate it well. In this episode, we're unpacking one of the most overlooked relationship skills: healthy confrontation. Why do so many friendships end at the first sign of friction? How do you communicate when someone has hurt you without making things worse? And what does it actually look like to repair trust instead of walking away? We also respond to a sister whose best friend asked for a "friendship break", sparking an honest conversation about boundaries, emotional maturity, people-pleasing, forgiveness, accountability and why difficult conversations are often the very thing that strengthen our relationships. If you've ever struggled to speak up, avoided conflict or wondered whether a friendship is worth fighting for, this episode is for you.💌 Join the TMS Mailing List: https://www.tomysisters.com📧 E-mail us your dilemmas and episode suggestions: [email protected] 💌 JOIN US ON SOCIAL MEDIA! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomysisterhoodTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/tomysisterhood💌 SAY HI TO THE HOSTS! https://www.instagram.com/cdboatenghttps://www.instagram.com/reneeimafidon💌 ABOUT US:At heart, To My Sisters is the fast-growing digital sisterhood founded to help women across the world leverage friendship and community to manifest their greatest ambitions.To My Sisters is unique in its kind by offering women the space for holistic wellness, growth and healing. From dealing with past trauma to setting up your next business venture, TMS is the one-stop destination for women looking to break the boundaries of what is seen as possible in our time.🎧 LISTEN ON SPOTIFY AND APPLE:https://open.spotify.com/show/2XZh8CVhttps://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/to-my-sisters/id1539343980 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.