#316: How to motivate yourself to do hard things

Ben discusses how thoughtful leaders can survive and succeed in difficult workplace environments. Drawing on his own experience, he explains why some strong leaders may opt out of senior roles due to toxic cultures, and why that's a loss for organisations. Key strategies include knowing what you are getting from your current role, clarifying your personal values, connecting to a sense of purpose, and building a trusted support network. Ben also shares the example of rugby referee Hollie Davidson and reflects on how difficult environments can filter out capable people. Resources mentioned in this episode: Understand your values online course Work with Ben: Leadership coaching.

In this episode, Ben explores Herzberg's Motivator Hygiene Theory and explains how leaders can use it to better understand team motivation. This is an older theory, but recently it has been re-examined with further research studies which tend to confirm it is still quite a valid way to think about motivation. Hygiene factors such as salary, a safe workplace, policies and procedures create a baseline for motivation, but do not generate high engagement on their own. Motivators such as interesting work, recognition, appreciation, development opportunities and purpose drive higher levels of intrinsic motivation and discretionary effort. Ben explains the importance of ensuring hygiene factors are in place, while also focusing on individual motivators that managers can influence directly. He also discusses refreshed research that continues to support the two-factor structure in modern workplaces. Resources mentioned in this episode: Herzberg's Motivator Hygiene (Two-Factor) Theory Some refreshed research on the two-factor model: Paper 1, Paper 2, Paper 3. Work with Ben 1 on 1.

Ben shares four ways to convince yourself to do hard things when leadership demands it. He explains how considering consequences, reflecting on identity, treating challenges as learning experiences, and asking what a good leader would do can increase motivation. The episode connects these techniques to motivation theory, including towards and away-from motivation, and encourages leaders to act even when discomfort is present. Resources mentioned in this episode: Towards and away-from motivation Leadership coaching: work with Ben.

In this episode, Ben addresses the tension between ambition and burnout for thoughtful leaders. He explains why ambition matters and why sustainable habits are essential for long-term success. Drawing on his own routines, he covers healthy habits such as meditation, exercise, sleep, and nutrition, as well as the concept of restorative niches from Brian Little's work. Ben also challenges rigid ideas of work-life balance, suggesting flexibility and long-term thinking instead. Resources mentioned in this episode: Restorative niches (Brian Little) Work with Ben: Coaching.

Ben explores the idea that resistance is often a sign you should lean in rather than avoid. He explains how the brain's threat response drives avoidance and how social threats can feel as real as physical ones. Using a personal story about working with a difficult colleague, Ben shows how pushing through discomfort can build capability, even if the outcome isn't perfect. He also discusses research on the anterior mid-cingulate cortex and how doing hard things strengthens your ability to do more hard things in the future. Resources mentioned in this episode: SCARF model (David Rock) Anterior mid-cingulate cortex research Work with Ben: Coaching.  

In this episode, Ben reflects on four of the most important things he did for his career and what thoughtful leaders can learn from them. He explains how mindfulness helped him manage frustration and build emotional regulation over time, why joining Toastmasters reduced his fear of public speaking, and how listening to informal mentors shaped key career decisions. Ben also shares how studying for an MBA while working full time built discipline, healthy habits, and ultimately created the space to start Thoughtful Leader. The episode encourages leaders to work on themselves so they are better equipped to handle whatever challenges arise. Resources mentioned in this episode: Headspace app Waking Up app – Sam Harris Toastmasters International Work with Ben: Coaching.

In this episode, Ben breaks down the concept of ghostworking (which is really modern-day presenteeism) and explains why it's usually a commitment issue rather than laziness. He draws on motivation theory, including hygiene factors and intrinsic motivation, and shares practical ways to rebuild commitment through connection, purpose, responsibility, and fairness. The focus of this episode is on addressing root causes rather than defaulting to control or punishment. Resources mentioned in this episode: Thoughtful Leader Coaching – work with Ben.

In this episode, Ben explores whether personal values can be changed and what to do when they seem to hold you back. He explains that while values are relatively stable, we can adapt our behaviour regardless of what our values are. Through examples of conflicting values like ease versus growth, he shows how leaders can consciously choose which values to prioritise in different situations. This episode offers reflection questions to help identify your own values and use them more intentionally. Resources mentioned in this episode: Lead With Confidence by Understanding and Using Your Values course Thoughtful Leader Coaching – work with Ben.

This episode tackles a common leadership dilemma: how long to wait before enforcing consequences for poor performance or behaviour. Ben walks through a practical decision-making process, starting with curiosity and feedback, then moving to support, clarity, and finally consequences if behaviour doesn't change. He discusses the importance of stakeholder alignment, realistic follow-through, and why avoiding consequences can undermine trust and motivation across the team. Resources mentioned in this episode: Thoughtful Leader Coaching – work with Ben.

In this episode, Ben explores how deeply held beliefs shape behaviour and can quietly limit leadership confidence. Using personal stories about fitness, public speaking, and career choices, he illustrates how untested assumptions can become self-imposed barriers. Ben explains the difference between fixed and growth mindsets, the role of self-talk, and how beliefs often become baked into identity. He encourages leaders to notice when they say "I can't do that" and get curious about whether those beliefs are actually true. Resources mentioned in this episode: Lead With Confidence by Understanding and Using Your Values course. Thoughtful Leader Coaching.