
Setting Boundaries and Flattery Manipulation
Poor boundaries often make support and self-sacrifice feel identical. Healthy support is driven by love, choice and sustainability. It recognises two people’s needs matter EQUALLY.
Self-sacrifice is driven by guilt, obligation, fear of conflict. It is open-ended, leaving you resentful or sick. It operates on the assumption their needs matter MORE.
The Flattery Trap: When someone says, "You’re so much more helpful/understanding/patient than [such and such]," Your internal alarm should go off. That is a prompt to over-give.
Your self-care check-in: Have you given yourself time to decide? Do you want to do this? If you say “Yes”, what are you saying “No” to? Can you sit in the discomfort of watching someone else’s disappointment in you?
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