342 – Paperback Writer

Tolkien gives us 3400 years of Númenórean history in just a few pages; Alan and Don make those few pages *feel* like a 3400-year long episode. Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts guy as we walk through the line of Kings and Queens of Númenor in our second episode on Appendix A I (i) on Númenor. We wonder what would have happened if Silmariën had become the first Ruling Queen, talk about agnatic primogeniture again, and watch as Kings of Númenor come up with ‘very bad ideas’™. Also, Sara joins Alan to chat with the translator of the Welsh edition of The Hobbit, Tar-Atanamir says ‘hold my beer’, and Alan gives some very depressing advice about mortality. Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.COM/PONY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shall I describe it to you, or would you like Alan and Don to find you a map? Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts guy as Tolkien introduces us to his island paradise in the what-it-says-on-the-tin chapter, A Description of the Island of Númenor, from Unfinished Tales! We have fun with Quenya pronunciations, decide that it’s best not to build the Meneltarma Visitor Center after all, and speculate that Eldalondë the Green smelled like a smoothie shop. Also, we stumble upon a great name for a rock band, make a joke about the… larch, and wisely choose not to laugh at dancing bears. Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.COM/PONY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tolkien regrets the ‘truncated and compressed form’ of the Appendices to The Lord of the Rings, while Alan and Don regret the truncated and compressed form of this episode! Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts guy as Tolkien gives us the fastest version of The Silmarillion ever in our first episode on the Annals of the Kings and Rulers. We beat the Fëanor piñata, visit the Hotel Thangorodrim and watch the Edain follow the second star to the right and straight on 'til morning to reach their new land. Also starring: grim grinning door handles and the avoided-for-that-cometh-anyway. Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.COM/PONY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy as we answer listener questions in our 28th Questions After Nightfall episode! From the negative buoyancy of hobbits to how long the wait is for a new Elf body, from Elves in HDR to Silmariën and the laws of agnatic primogeniture (which still confuse Don), our listeners pose challenging and unexpected questions. Alan blows Don’s mind yet again, while Don reveals his Middle-earth power rankings. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sam answers all of Elanor’s questions, as Alan tries to dodge most of Don’s questions. Join The Man of the West and the Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy, as we look at what was almost Tolkien’s post-credit bonus scene. Samwise gets writer’s block, Elanor longs for the old days, and Rose remembers a moment of unexplained joy. We discuss whether Merry was Sam’s ghost-writer, agree that one must stop somewhere, and look for our letter from the King. Also, Don leans into the mediocrity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, we’re back. Join The Man of the West and Don Marshall, the Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy, as we begin Season 9 of The Prancing Pony Podcast with a deep dive into the first version of the Epilogue to The Lord of the Rings. We chat about elanor the flower and Elanor the young hobbit-lass, wonder when a prophecy isn’t a prophecy, and get a few answers about Legolas, Gimli, and the rest. Also, we discover Ents are Alan's kinda people. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bilbo wakes up from his nap just in time to pass the Old Took; Alan and Shawn wake up from our nap just in time to pass the two-hour mark. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as Sam finally figures out where Frodo is going in the last of our three episodes on The Grey Havens - and the final episode of our six-season journey through The Lord of the Rings. Gildor makes an appearance; Frodo makes a sacrifice; Sam makes the long journey home in silence (where the nights are gettin’ strange since he’s gone). We fanboy over Círdan, discover there was room for Shadowfax, and talk about a most Anglo-Saxon ending. Also, Bilbo and Frodo have words for Celebrimbor.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rosie is the girl that keeps Sam up at night, so they get married; we are the podcast hosts that keep you up at night - all we ask from you is to subscribe. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as anniversaries become dark days for Frodo in the second of our three episodes on The Grey Havens. Frodo suggests Sam and Rosie move in to Bag End with him; Merry and Pippin cut a great dash in the Shire; Sam receives a large book and a mandate to complete it. We suggest a new small business opportunity for Merry and Pippin, wonder precisely how Widow Rumble is looking after the Gaffer, and speculate about Arwen’s QR code. Also: no, you shouldn’t name your child Frodito, no matter what Shawn suggests. From our intro, here is the link to the 2009 fan film The Hunt for Gollum, directed by our guest Chris Bouchard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H09xnhlCQU Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Spring surpassed Sam’s wildest hopes; Alan and Shawn are content just avoiding disappointment. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as the hobbits let the good times roll while rebuilding the Shire in the first of three episodes on The Grey Havens. Lobelia Sackville-Baggins finds redemption and popularity; the Gaffer shouts random proverbs as he moves into his new digs; and it turns out that every grain is sacred, every grain is good. We speculate about Sandyman’s future, feel sorry for the kids of Shire Reckoning 1419, and unanimously declare Rosie Cotton the Shire MVP. Also, Alan buys a copy of Fredegar Bolger’s new book, The Lockholes Diet. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Merry tells Sandyman that he is “dirty and insolent”, and the obvious jokes about your podcast hosts write themselves. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark for one of the saddest hours in our heroes’ lives in the last of our five episodes on The Scouring of the Shire. Sam’s heart is broken by the devastation in his hometown, the hobbits are met by a surprise visitor (there’s magic in his eyes), and Wormtongue has finally had enough. We weep with Sam over the loss of the Party Tree, marvel at the mercy of Frodo towards Sharkey, and waffle on our opinion about Wormtongue’s possible diet. Also, Alan and Shawn concede to being monoglot clowns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices