08 – Cowboy Corpse

It’s week 2 of Noise Boi QUARANTINE, and the guitarless Bois are in mostly good spirits. This is due in no small part to a visit from their good friend, Lemmy Killmeister of Motörhead! Joel talks mostly about the world going to Hell, and Dave talks mostly about Doom Eternal. Gary is the only one with an instrument, so truly we are all DOOOOOOMED! BOIS TOUCH BASEWhich Smash Bros. character is each Boi?Dave can’t accept the reality of our situationDoomey Dave’s dummy brain is all DOOM DOOM DOOM!Gary’s health updateUPDATE: A YEAR LONG WEEKTrapt are going quarantine stir crazyEarly file sharing band scamsUsing file sharing to “listen before you buy”?LIVE STREAMING CONCERTSCro-Mags beefy boyBen Gibbard’s daily Death Cab“Coronavirus (Come Get Me)” by Ben GibbardBen Gibbard’s Virus Medley WHAT’S EVERYONE DOING WITH THEIR ISOLATION?Rekindling abandoned video gamesGod is a mischievous scampBrian May’s is a delicious stewWhat food would Bois be?Brian May’s plea to the worldBLIMEY, MATE! BARBECUE! Blimey, mate. Barbecue. Blimey, mate! Barbecue!BLIMEY, MATE! BARBECUE!MORE CANCELLATIONSEurovision cancelledGlastonbury cancelledRemembering The Reading Festival in the 90sIs Idles the NOW version of punk?How high should you wear your guitar?PORN CANCELLED?!?!?Noise Hole ASMRLEMMY’S RETRO RUNDOWNWhat kind of food is Lemmy?Legend of Ozzy 8-bit video gameLemmy’s thoughts on the pandemicBrutal LegendYellowed/discolored consolesCopying CDs in the before timesLemmy and Harley from Cro-MagsLemmy’s Punk/Metal Cribs ShowLemmy and Dave celebrate Doom Day!“Get More Hole In The World” Celebrity Charity Single

There hasn’t been THIS much Aerosmith in an episode of The Noise Hole since that time we recorded in the bathroom of a Denny’s! Stick an apple in your mouth, baiste your own rump with delicious juices, and plop down on a silver platter like a suckling boy, because this episode is one hell of a ride! “They Think It’s Romantic” by An Early 2000s Emo Band… probably Brand New“I Wish, I Wish, I Wish” by the same Emo band“But You’re Not Here” by American Football“I Miss Her Terribly” by A Mom With Separation Anxiety Aliens observe Planet Aerosmith Aerosmith fires their drummer, Joey Kramer“Cryin’ and Firin’” by Aerosmith“We Should Form Aerosmith” by AerosmithAerosmith fired Joe Perry in the 80sJoey Kramer’s many nicknamesAerosmith, Las Vegas, and Suckling BoysJoey Kramer throws a classic fit“Nairobi, Baloney, Jabroni” by AerosmithJoey Kramer pulls a Joker at the GrammysJoel tries to think of names of country artistsTrent Reznor introduces Aerosmith at The Grammys“Grammy Bloodbath” by Aerosmith“Get Behind Clarence” by Clarence “Clear Conscience” Fatbottom “Free Them Suckling Boys” by Clarence “Clear Conscience” Fatbottom“Five Sucking Boys In An Elevator” by Clarence Fatbottom and Steven TylerClarence sets a sting for Steven Tyler“Count These Suckling Boys” by Clarence Fatbottom and Steven Tyler“Surprise, Motherfucker! It’s Clarence!” by Clarence Fatbottom and Steven TylerJoey Kramer haunts Steven Tyler’s nightmaresWhat does Steven Tyler’s dick look like?! The trial of Joey Kramer“Dave Mustaine Is Gonna Be OK” by MegadethA special message from Dave Mustaine“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by Megadeth

Noise Bois, I hope you’re ready for some SELF INDULGENCE because this episode HAS IT. Easily half the episode is about Aerosmith going to Denny’s, then: Dave and Joel discuss how Slash only has a few axe tricks up his sleeveWhat Lynyrd Skynyrd’s mommas told themWho’s in the room when Metallica records a coverDave’s years long quest for Michael McDonaldRage Against Tennessee WilliamsJust after Joel gets serious about his deep love and admiration for Queens of The Stone Age, the boys try their hand at Parched Stoner Desert RockThe boys offer new James Bond Themes courtesy of Uncle Kracker, JackWhite and Scooby DooFinally Metallica are revealed to be masters of ACTUAL puppets

This is the new normal, Noise Bois. Staying inside, wearing pajamas all day, NOT playing guitars… AAAAAHHHGG!!!! Also Gary escaped quarantine. Anyway, here’s an entire episode of Noise Boi questioned getting answered. BOIS TOUCH BASEHow does time even work now?Mum’s Bum CandlesNoise Bois are ordered to SFTH!Technical difficultiesNOISE BOI QUESTIONSDisney World & Theme ParksAvengers theme park?A Metallica ride?ESCAPING QUARANTINE, GARY?!Dave Mustaine’s resurrected armMusic in the next 10 yearsBoy bands, Boyzone, East 17, O-Town, N’Sync, 98 DegreesAttitude lady musicIs Gary a thirst trap?Xanax RapNü Metal vs. RetrowaveFascists love Rick AstleyBillie Eilish is ASMR musicDoes today’s hopeless generation make hopeless music?Where is the guitar rock?Song for the end of the worldAn REM Classic re-enters the chartsLouis Armstrong, The Destroyer Animal Crossing vs. Doom EternalBands performing onlineJimmy Johns Eat WorldWrestlemania with no audienceOnline wrestling commentators Hulk Hogan the character vs. Hulk Hogan the personWill bands delay albums due to the pandemic?How are artists surviving?How are road crews surviving?Bois who say “brother”Dave’s attic varmint troubles

Cram this in your Noise Hole: Megadeth sing Summer of ’69Rage against the machine at Panera BreadPanic! At The GoosebumpsFallout Boy’s got burnt cookies and broken heartsJimmy Eat World has cookie problems tooDeath Cab For The Property BrothersMetallca is for the youngins'Slash’s Hat is full of Axel's pee(Surprise, surprise!) The Red Hot Chili Peppers love California

It’s the Golden Episode Anniversary! Dave and Joel are sharing the best bits of the first 50 episodes, as voted on by our Patreon Noise Bois on the Discord. Strap in for over 2 hours of Boi bits, both old and new, including a BONUS Lemmy’s Retro Rundown! From Episode 21 - Green Day’s “Good Riddance (Aw Fuck)”“If You Can’t Google Iggy Pop (Try Bing)” by Bruce SpringsteinFrom Episode 45 - Describing Iggy PopFrom Episode 16 - “Dear Dick Doc” by Eminem“Dave (I’m Not A Homophobe)” by Danzig From Episode 10 - Three Horrible Lies About Glenn DanzigFrom Episode 01 - “My Dad’s Not A Hotdog” by Weezer“You’ve Got To Hide Your Tits Away” by The BortlesFrom Episode 08 - The Bortles visit Mother Titty Tree“Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmmotorboat” by Crash Test DummiesFrom Episode 24 - “God Bless America, and God Bless Milfs” An ALL NEW Lemmy’s Retro Rundown!!! What 3 things does Lemmy love?Lemmy’s favorite coin-op arcade gamesWho’s on Lemmy’s 6 player X-Men Arcade squad? What’s Lemmy’s favorite Star Wars game?Goldfinger’s “Superman” by Motörhead“Ace Of Spades” by MotörheadFrom Episode 15 - Lemmy’s Retro Rundown: GameboyFrom Episode 16 - Lemmy’s Retro Rundown: Majora’s MaskA visit from Clarence “Clear Conscience” Fatbottom“Hate It When They Prey” by Clarence “Clear Conscience” FatbottomWho would Clarence quarantine? “Tryin’a Do These Boys Dirty” by Clarence “Clear Conscience” FatbottomFrom Episode 19 - Clarence “Clear Conscience” Fatbottom and Michael JacksonBono solves world hungerWhat does Billy Corgan look like?“Wartime Sunday Roast” by Smashing PumpkinsFrom Episode 12 - Dave is the Moon featuring Billy Corgan and Smashing Pumpkins“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by The Noise Hole ft. Bruce Springstein

Dave and Joel start this episode out LITERALLY trapped in the ACTUAL Noise Hole. It’s a harrowing experience and they’re lucky to be alive. Vicious lies are told about Glenn Danzig, which he staunchly refutesThe Misfits weigh in on their former singer’s sullied reputationRowan Atkinson fills in for GlennJoel tells the true story of when he got kissed by a RamoneThe boys uncover the secrets of the Ramone ClonesJohnny Cash returns from the grave to cover more Nine Inch Nails songsMorrissey and Danzig spar via songU2 finally admit publicly what an insufferable prick Bono is.

Do you hear colors, Noise Boys? Do you SEE sounds?! OH GOD, ARE YOU A MONSTROUS FREAK LIKE DAVE AND JOEL?! FLEE! FLEE TO THE SEWERS TO AVOID PERSECUTION! This week we've got: “The World Is In A Minor Key” by The Noise BoysJoel and Dave have Grapheme-Color Synesthesia “Da, I Hear The Garden” by Radiohead“A Higher Brown” by RadioheadOK Computer Demos get Radiohacked “Paranoid MmmAndroid” by Crash Test Dummies“Moo Moo Moo Moo” by Radiohead“Geek Squad Help Desk” by Thom York“Vapes At 7-11” by The DecemberistsThe Blue Fairy changes the lives of service people“I Got The Tire Rotation Blues” by Hank The Tire ManSubway Jimmy ain’t got the bluesWeezer’s covers: Does Rivers delivers?Dave wants to give “Africa” by Toto a swirly Marilyn Manson’s not bad at allKISS isn’t even close to Devil music "The Spooky Jetsons” by Marilyn Manson“Scooby Spooky Doo” by Marilyn Manson“Meet The Flintstones” by Marilyn Manson“Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye” by Marilyn Manson

This episode deals primarily with two young bois, wee Dave and Lil' Joel, and their personal betrayals by two once-revered and beloved bands: Tool and Metallica. “I Am A Little Water Boy” by Fish FriendsDelta Blues Email Readin’s How much money do you think Tool has?Comparing and contrasting Jimmy Eat World and ToolHow to write a song from each Tool album“I Got Worms Inside Of My Dick” by Tool“I’ve Been Eating My Own Shit” by Tool“Longview” by Tool“CiCi’s Pizza” by Tool“Sweet Frags” by ToolDave’s adventures at an Irish Cyber-Cafe“Last Night (I Called My Friend An Anus)” by The Strokes“Last Night (I Tried To Play Quake)” by The StrokesHow Tool broke Joel’s heart with 10,000 DaysHow Metallica broke Dave’s heart with St. AngerCharles Dickens’ A St. Anger Carol Davey And The Metallica Factory“Hooker With A Penis” by Jimmy Eat World

In this episode: Dave and Joel christen the new home of The Noise Hole in the Dave CaveDave has a retirement planGreen Day has a children’s albumA musical tribute to a special Noise BoyDave gets creeped out by his Mum’s use of punctuationWe also meet Jom, Joel, Porge and Ringum: The Bortles (or possibly The Bartles), and they visit Old Mother Titty TreeEngland goes for a spin, as does Bertie The Butt BusThe ACTUAL Beatles sing “You Wife, Yoko, Is A Stupid C*nt"Reel Big Fish and Rancid bring us “You’ve Got A Friend In Ska”A Noise Boi further explains Thrice to JoelDave is ashamed of his Thrice-style scatilogical songAn etherial ambient jam from spaceA story about Joel’s 8th grade Death Metal friendCannibal Corpse’s writing processNashville favorites, Cowboy Corpse