The Hardcore Therapist 79.5- Cutting Ties, Healing Souls: Letting Go of Draining People (Yes, Even Family)

Hey everyone, welcome back to The Hardcore Therapist! I’m so glad you’re here. Today we’re diving into a question that hits close to home for a lot of us:“How do I set boundaries without feeling guilty—and what do I do if someone crosses my boundaries after I was clear about them?”Whew. This is a big one. And if you're anything like me—or like most of the people I work with—you’ve probably struggled with this at some point.Questions to ask yourself if you struggle with boundaries:“Where in my life am I consistently feeling drained—and what boundary could help protect my energy there?”“What kind of pushback am I afraid of—and what does that fear really say about my past experiences?”

On this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, Kyle Donovan and Tyler Hillman, members of the Michigan Hardcore band Suffer No Fools. They're celebrating the release of their debut album, "To Live Is To Suffer," which is out  now via Heroes + Martyrs.

Today, we’re diving into a loaded, raw, and often painful topic—how to let go of people who don’t enhance your life—including family.I’m not here to sugarcoat this. I’m here to help you honor your mental health, even when it means making decisions that go against every message you've been taught about loyalty, tradition, or what it means to be a “good person.”Prompts for Healing:Take a moment—right now or later today—and grab a journal, a voice note app, or even just some quiet time alone. Ask yourself the following questions:Who in my life consistently leaves me feeling drained, anxious, or unseen? (Name them without judgment—this is about truth, not blame.)What have I tried to do to change or heal this relationship? Have those efforts been mutual? (Notice if you’ve been carrying the weight alone.)What would protecting my peace look like with this person?Less contact?Stronger boundaries?Emotional distance?Full disconnection?What am I afraid will happen if I let go? (Get honest about the guilt, fear of backlash, or fear of being alone.)What might open up in my life if I create space from this person? (Energy, clarity, new relationships, joy, rest, freedom?)Bonus Prompt:Write a letter you’ll never send to this person. Say everything you’ve never had the safety to say. Then either keep it, burn it, or delete it—but let it move through you.

What an amazing collaboration episode of The Hardcore Therapist Podcast and Pit Therapy Podcast! Kyle and Trevor were so much fun. Check out this hilarious episode chalked full of hardcore, family life, growing up and a wild thought about specific songs!

On this episode of The Hardcore Therapist I was joined by Scott Crouse. Coming up through the thriving Syracuse, NY hardcore movement of the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, Scott helped shape the sound and message of a generation. As a founding guitarist of Earth Crisis, his work on albums like Firestorm and Destroy the Machines cemented their place as some of the most influential hardcore records of their time.Beyond Earth Crisis, Scott’s passion for hardcore and straight-edge activism continued through projects like Path of Resistance, Framework, Sect, and Tooth and Claw.

On this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, today we're diving into a powerful topic: self-abandonment. This is something so many of us struggle with without even realizing it—saying yes when we mean no, ignoring our own needs, or constantly putting others before ourselves. But what does it really mean to abandon yourself, and more importantly, how can we stop doing it? 

On this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I am thrilled to welcome Ray Harkins. Ray is the host of the influential podcast 100 Words or Less, where he dives deep into the stories of musicians, artists, and creatives. Beyond the podcasting world, Ray is also the lead singer for the melodic hardcore band Taken. We'll explore his journey through music, the evolution of the hardcore scene, and the intersection of mental health and creativity. Check out Ray's new band Bloodguilt!@xpurposex@100wordspodcast@takenband@bloodguilt_hc

First, I just want to acknowledge how incredibly painful and confusing this must feel. To be in a marriage where one person has emotionally stepped away, while you’re still physically sharing a home and parenting together, is a deeply complicated experience. It makes sense that you’re struggling with what to do next.

I'm beyond excited to welcome a fellow Detroiter and friend of the show, Monica Sklar, Ph.D.! Monica is an associate professor and director of the Historic Clothing and Textiles Collection at the University of Georgia, where she dives deep into the intersections of fashion, subculture, and technology in archival practice. She’s also the vice president of education for the Costume Society of America and a go-to expert for major outlets like The Guardian, New York Post, and Washington Post. You may have even heard her insightful commentary on hit podcasts like 99% Invisible and Dressed.

Mornings can feel hard—scrambling to get out the door, rushing through tasks, and starting the day already overwhelmed. That chaotic energy doesn’t just disappear; it lingers, affecting mood, focus, and stress levels. But what if small, intentional changes to your morning routine could set a completely different tone for the day? On the podcast, we’ll explore science-backed strategies to improve your routine in ways that boost mood, reduce anxiety, and increase productivity—so you can start your day feeling more in control and less like you’re playing catch-up.