Episode 27 - Gullible Goldfish, Ghost Fleets & a nasty bout of 'enshittification'

In Episode 30, Marcus and Michael look at what the numbers in Defence's Annual Report tell us about Defence's 'fasttracked' work on missiles, helicopters & ships. The numbers show systemic underachievement, not the generational, transformational change we hear so often from ministers & officials. Parents would be very unhappy with this report on their Defence child. But Houthi progress is impressive, as is the historic growth in senior Defence positions.

The Grumpy Strategists answer the call from Australia's Embassy in Washington. They search for meaning in Defence's new religious texts - the Strategic Review and Defence Strategy - amongst the snowstorm of other reviews, strategies & plans. The new Workforce Plan gets a makeover - it's now beige. A Senate Estimates satellite highlight gets airtime, while the Chief of Navy and Deputy Prime Minister Marles show their mettle.

With a fire in the UK's sub construction facility & US sub production slowing, the only good news is that predictions of delay are apparently ahead of schedule....Meanwhile, a new Guided Weapons plan establishes two things: 1. Deterrence by Documentation, given the heavy weight of paper Australia can now bring to bear on itself & its adversaries - and 2. a shed CAN take 8 years to announce & build,

The Grumpy Strategists analyse two big announcements - the $20bn Henderson shipbuilding precinct & a $7bn deal on missiles apparently wrangled by Delivery Minister Pat Conroy. They also get close to the bottom of the mysterious Offshore Patrol Vessel mystery, and come to terms with the digital world's new term of art: 'enshittification' and what lessons it holds about Australian Defence organisation outcomes. With thanks to The Little Black Book of Scams.

The Grumpy Strategists discuss what Acceleration means inside the walls of Australia's Defence organisation. Defence Science 'accelerates' - with a bold plan to deliver by 2034 what it had committed to deliver by 2030. Blackhawk helicopter deliveries accelerate by slowing down. And submarine & Hunter frigate cost spirals keep on keeping on. Good news - US consultancy spend is up on subs, our Aussie cash is helping out. Oh, & there's some Army chat too.

On the Grumpy Strategists' 1st birthday, Marcus and Michael assess the Army's new plan to get wet & find that the Army's focus is on its exquisite small force, with no plans for expansion during a war and with its new maritime strike mission yet to shift thinking from the traditional land battle role. And the Australian Sub Agency's new Corporate Plan is disturbingly full of circular logic but content free. That's bad for growing trust in the Agency to deliver, particularly when contrasted with the practical detail available on UK sub issues.

Marcus and Michael catch up on news about makin' missiles, assess whether the secret to change in Defence is a cashed up billionaire, andare bemused by the new 'Schedule is King' for everyone but Defence itself. They wrap up with F-35Bs, now that the Army is taking itself littorally.

SAA's Marcus Hellyer and Michael Shoebridge cover the Australian Army's tank gap, the Navy's celebration of missile test firings, and the fact free Frankenstein imagery on AUKUS subs out of Navy officials lately. The episode ends with animal-based analysis of the US elections and what the Trump-Vance or Harris-Walz options might mean for Australia.

Episode 1 of the Great Debates -on topics in Australia that need discussion but are reduced to shouting matches from inside closed bubbles. Green shirted Marcus is Mr Renewables and black suited Michael is the pro-nuclear Darth Vader of the episode. Listen to hear if a civil chat about radioactive waste, windfarms and Australia's energy mix is possible.

In Episode 22, Marcus and Michael discuss the US election & the alliance post debate and failed assassination, before covering Ukraine military assistance and the alternative realities in Australia's contribution to Ukraine and our own defence. The episode ends with the strange case of the alleged Russian signaller spy and the failed $160m vetting project that might have helped catch them earlier.....