Andy Hamilton is a Football God: "Commentators are brilliant, they’re pure Harry Enfield”

This week’s Football God is British comedian, game-show panellist, comedy screenwriter, television director, radio dramatist, and novelist Andy Hamilton. Best known for writing the BBC Radio 4 comedy series Old Harry's Game (in which he plays an amusing version of Satan himself), and the BBC One sitcom Outnumbered, about a middle-class family with three unruly children. Andy’s book, Blue Was The Colour is a witty, wise and charming assessment of modern football as a Chelsea fan. The Football Gods gives famous faces the ultimate footballing role: total power over the beautiful game. Listen as they shape football to their whim and ultimately become The Football Gods. Join our hosts - broadcaster Kate Mason and journalist Tim Spiers - as we ponder the all-important questions such as...“Which player would you send to hell?”, “What flavour pie would be considered the food of the Gods?” and “Which game would you watch forever?” Given the power, how would you change football? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s Football God is three-time Olympic medallist Kelly Sotherton. Kelly compares athletics tactics to football ones, praises Bergkamp and reveals the royal family member she’d watch the game with.  Kelly is also host of the podcast  Inside Track – the exclusive, access-all-areas platform for everything athletics. The Football Gods gives famous faces the ultimate footballing role: total power over the beautiful game. Listen as they shape football to their whim and ultimately become The Football Gods. Join our hosts - broadcaster Kate Mason and journalist Tim Spiers - as we ponder the all-important questions such as...“Which player would you send to hell?”, “What flavour pie would be considered the food of the Gods?” and “Which game would you watch forever?” Given the power, how would you change football? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s Football God is cricketer Mark Wood. He reveals who on his team is best at football, why Vinnie Jones is his boy and how he became a supporter of AFC Wimbledon.  When he’s not bowling for England, Mark is also the co-host of cricket podcast Middle Please, Umpire and has an award-winning book The Wood Life: A Not So Helpful How-to Guide on Surviving Cricket, Life and Everything in Between.  The Football Gods gives famous faces the ultimate footballing role: total power over the beautiful game. Listen as they shape football to their whim and ultimately become The Football Gods. Join our hosts - broadcaster Kate Mason and journalist Tim Spiers - as we ponder the all-important questions such as...“Which player would you send to hell?”, “What flavour pie would be considered the food of the Gods?” and “Which game would you watch forever?” Given the power, how would you change football? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Justin Moorhouse is a stand-up comedian and radio DJ from Manchester. He’s appeared in Looking for Eric and in Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights as Young Kenny - who’s an avid Man City supporter - but in this episode he’s a Man United-loving Football God.  Before working in TV and radio, Justin was a salesman for many years until he contacted a comedy club and performed a stand-up routine, aged 29. In 2002 he competed in a local comedy competition, winning the final held at the Comedy Store Manchester. Soon afterwards, he performed in a comedy tour, then got the role in Phoenix Nights.  The Football Gods gives famous faces the ultimate footballing role: total power over the beautiful game. Listen as they shape football to their whim and ultimately become The Football Gods. Join our hosts - broadcaster Kate Mason and journalist Tim Spiers - as we ponder the all-important questions such as...“Which player would you send to hell?”, “What flavour pie would be considered the food of the Gods?” and “Which game would you watch forever?” Given the power, how would you change football? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Matt Murray is a former professional footballer, sports reporter and pundit. As a player he was a football goalkeeper who spent his entire career at Wolves, making 100 appearances for the club. The Football Gods gives famous faces the ultimate footballing role: total power over the beautiful game. Listen as they shape football to their whim and ultimately become The Football Gods. Join our hosts - broadcaster Kate Mason and journalist Tim Spiers - as we ponder the all-important questions such as...“Which player would you send to hell?”, “What flavour pie would be considered the food of the Gods?” and “Which game would you watch forever?” Given the power, how would you change football? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Alex Lowe explains his love for two teams, how he’s making half time more interesting and why he’ll always support an underdog. Alex Lowe is an English actor, comedian and voice artist. He is the creator and performer of the character Barry from Watford on BBC Radio 2, as well as also being the creator and performer behind the character Clinton Baptiste, originally seen in Phoenix Nights, and is about to start a UK tour. The Football Gods gives famous faces the ultimate footballing role: total power over the beautiful game. Listen as they shape football to their whim and ultimately become The Football Gods. Join our hosts - broadcaster Kate Mason and journalist Tim Spiers - as we ponder the all-important questions such as...“Which player would you send to hell?”, “What flavour pie would be considered the food of the Gods?” and “Which game would you watch forever?” Given the power, how would you change football? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You might know Actor Bradley James from the TV series Damien where he plays the antichrist or the BBC’s Merlin but he is also an Arsenal fan and a massive England fan. In today’s Football Gods he talks salary caps, local players for local teams and the joy of tailgating. The Football Gods gives famous faces the ultimate footballing role: total power over the beautiful game. Listen as they shape football to their whim and ultimately become The Football Gods. Join our hosts - broadcaster Kate Mason and journalist Tim Spiers - as we ponder the all-important questions such as...“Which player would you send to hell?”, “What flavour pie would be considered the food of the Gods?” and “Which game would you watch forever?” Given the power, how would you change football? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tubes discusses his early memories of football and his deep connection to Chelsea. No subject is off limits, from hotdogs to blue cards and how being sober has changed his experience of going to matches.  Peter “Tubes” Dale is a former presenter on Sky Sports’ Soccer AM. He started out as an assistant producer on the programme before moving in front of the cameras as ‘Peter the Test Tube Baby’, earning him the nickname Tubes. He quickly became one of the most popular characters on the show, with his ‘one question and one question only’ segment, which was often preceded by a comic rap. Since leaving Sky Sports, he has launched a YouTube channel with his brother ‘Tubes and Ange Golf Life’.  The Football Gods gives famous faces the ultimate footballing role: total power over the beautiful game. Listen as they shape football to their whim and ultimately become The Football Gods. Join our hosts - broadcaster Kate Mason and journalist Tim Spiers - as we ponder the all-important questions such as...“Which player would you send to hell?”, “What flavour pie would be considered the food of the Gods?” and “Which game would you watch forever?” Given the power, how would you change football? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Emile Heskey discusses his early athletic endeavours, his transition to football, supporting Leicester City and meeting his football idols. Emile Heskey is an English former professional footballer who currently serves as head of football development of Leicester City Women. As a striker, he made more than 500 appearances over an 18-year career starting his career with Leicester City and moving to Liverpool in 2000. He later played for Birmingham City, Wigan Athletic, Aston Villa, Newcastle Jets and finished his career with Bolton Wanderers. The Football Gods gives famous faces the ultimate footballing role: total power over the beautiful game. Listen as they shape football to their whim and ultimately become The Football Gods. Join our hosts - broadcaster Kate Mason and journalist Tim Spiers - as we ponder the all-important questions such as...“Which player would you send to hell?”, “What flavour pie would be considered the food of the Gods?” and “Which game would you watch forever?” Given the power, how would you change football? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Comedian Jim Daly recalls Crystal Palace's glory season under Steve Bruce, expresses his admiration for Jack Grealish’s calves and reveals who he’s damning to hell.  Jim Daly is a standup comedian, presenter and podcaster, hosting JOE.co.uk’s weekly football show Football Friday and also the Crystal palace FC themed FYP podcast. His 2022 debut Edinburgh Fringe show Jim Daly: Football And Fatherhood received critical acclaim.  The Football Gods gives famous faces the ultimate footballing role: total power over the beautiful game. Listen as they shape football to their whim and ultimately become The Football Gods. Join our hosts - broadcaster Kate Mason and journalist Tim Spiers - as we ponder the all-important questions such as...“Which player would you send to hell?”, “What flavour pie would be considered the food of the Gods?” and “Which game would you watch forever?” Given the power, how would you change football? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices