Episode 9: Happiness is a Warm Gun

In the final episode of The Circus Upstairs, Matt and James sift through the aftermath of the Becchetti regime – via a date in court where Orient face a winding up order for the second time and a mysterious text message allegedly sent to a "Magnificent" seven fans from a potential buyer. We talk to Matt Porter and incoming Interim CEO Marshall Taylor about the mess the new owners inherited, including £7,000-a-month mobile phone bills; a pimped up BMW X5; and a raft of County Court Judgements. We hear some final perspectives on Becchetti himself, and Matt and James get a bit emotional… 

In this episode Orient fans take matters into their own hands and invade the pitch during the season’s penultimate game against Colchester United. Matt and James talk to the players and staff involved that day and go off on a tangent about Waitrose Hummus. Then - with relegation confirmed - it comes to Orient’s last game in the Football League, during which fans witness a very special goal by a very special player. Warning: There's quite a lot of swearing in this one - sorry!

In this episode Francesco Becchetti simply decides to stop paying all players and staff. This makes things particularly difficult for manager number 11 of the regime, Omer Riza – especially when he gets a red card 45 minutes into his first game in charge. That leaves the Orient team – now largely populated by youth players, with the seniors boycotting games – taking instructions from a local mechanic for the second half of the match. Nonetheless, the squad battle valiantly against impending relegation out of the Football League… 

In this episode Orient’s chances of avoiding relegation out of the Football League are dealt a vicious blow when captain Liam Kelly is banned for six games after dealing his own vicious blow to a 17-year-old Plymouth ballboy. And when Matt and James say “vicious blow” they mean “light shove”. More importantly, it emerges that Francesco Becchetti has not been paying the club’s tax bills, and so Orient are served a winding up order that could put them out of existence forever. Meanwhile, COO Vito Micelli puts his own complimentary season ticket on eBay… 

In this episode Matt and James spend quite a long time dissecting hapless CEO Alessandro Angelieri’s jaw-dropping statement in which he blames the catastrophic performances of the team on Francesco Becchetti’s absence from the training ground. Meanwhile we burn through three managers, including the short-lived reign of 60-year-old Italian journeyman Alberto Cavasin, who encourages the squad to play with a knife between their teeth and blames losses on a local journalist’s boyfriend. Plus, Head of Recruitment and handsomest man in football Rob Gagliardi goes on a signing spree in deepest, darkest Europe. Well, France. 

Matt and James are back to tell the story of the 2016/17 season, in which Francesco Becchetti completely loses the plot and tries to sink the club through a lethal mix of spite, incompetence and Valpolicella. In this episode the President graciously agrees to a Q&A session with fans, although does bring a man with a gun just in case. Andy Hessenthaler explains why he took the permanent manager job despite everything that happened last season, Linda Hendon is back – this time inexplicably speaking Geordie – and we hear the inside story on how club legend Dean Cox was made an offer he couldn’t refuse by Mr Becchetti… 

In this episode former translator and handsomest man in football Roberto Gagliardi returns to the club first as Head of Recruitment, then as goalkeeping coach. We find out from Lee Harrison and Andy Hessenthaler exactly what Gagliardi was up to on his mobile phone in the dug out of a Saturday afternoon. Meanwhile manager number six in Becchetti’s reign Kevin Nolan finds out the hard way that selecting the team is not part of his remit. We also hear from Becchetti himself via a bizarre video message, and hear how the president fared in a staff versus players friendly at the end of the season. 

In this episode Francesco Becchetti decides to attack assistant manager Andy Hessenthaler on the pitch following a victory over Portsmouth. Matt and James examine the incident in forensic detail, with contributions from Mathieu Baudry, Lee Harrison, Dave Victor and – of course – Andy Hessenthaler himself. We also wonder why the club chose to appoint an Italian broadcast journalist as the new technical director and reflect upon the sad demise of manager Ian Hendon. Ian’s wife Linda also gets stuck into the Orient fanbase in this episode, via her Twitter feed.

In this episode Francesco Becchetti decides to imprison the entire squad in a Marriott hotel for a week following a defeat at Hartlepool. We hear from those on the inside, including assistant manager Andy Hessenthaler, goalkeeping coach Lee Harrison and captain Mathieu Baudry, who tells us of the desperate visit he made to Becchetti’s Mayfair mansion to try to resolve the situation. We also hear the story of the President’s bizarre visit to the training ground to ask which of the squad has the “eye of the tiger” and find out why Jobi McAnuff was forced to train with the youth team. Matt and James also question why manager Ian Hendon appears to know a load of army camps in the “deepest, darkest woods”. 

Matt and James are back to tell the story of the 2015/16 season in which Francesco Becchetti appears to have learnt from his mistakes of the previous campaign. At least for a few minutes before trying to pick the team himself again. Assistant manager Andy Hessenthaler, goalkeeping coach Lee Harrison, captain Mathieu Baudry and community liaison officer Howard Gould give their take on events, which include the best goal Orient have ever scored; Becchetti’s aversion to the training ground tea; and the thinking man’s CEO Alessandro Angelieri’s simple take on how the regime managed to relegate Orient.