The Becoming Podcast | Season 7; Episode 3 | Enfys J. Book on queer rites of passage + honouring your milestones with pride

Are you among the many mothers who are traversing both perimenopause and matrescence at the same time?  Going through two rites of passage simultaneously is no joke, and it's happening for more and more mothers. The worst part? Many of them don't realize that's what's happening, and so many of them blame themselves for how challenging it can feel. The only other person I've seen who is really looking this increasingly-common experience square in the eye is Jane Hardwicke Collings.  I reached out to her to see if she'd like to deepen the conversation around the overlap of matrescence with perimenopause and, as evidenced by this podcast episode, she agreed! First, let me tell you a little bit about Jane: Jane Hardwicke Collings is a grandmother, former homebirth midwife for 30 years, a teacher, writer and menstrual, childbirth and menopause educator.  She offers workshops on the spiritual practice of menstruation and the sacred dimensions of pregnancy, birth and menopause. Jane founded and runs The School of Shamanic Womancraft, an international Women's Mysteries School and an ongoing live teaching path called The Womancraft Way.  Jane has created the first holistic menstrual cycle charting app, called Spinning Wheels. Here's some of what Jane and I talk about in this episode: ✔️ The definition of "womb-to-tomb" midwifery, and its role in supporting women through the transition to motherhood and the transition out of their fertile years. ✔️ The way all our "portals of power," as Jane calls them (including menarche, childbirth, and menopause) have been "pathologized, medicalized, weaponized against us and monetized." ✔️ Why cycle awareness is so important, and how it holds the key to so much of what we need to know about both matrescence and perimenopause (hint: there are times in our lives when our bodies beg us to slow down, and we'll reap the consequences of not heeding that call). ✔️ What's happening, physiologically, in our bodies when matrescence and perimenopause overlap.  Jane makes all of the complex experiences and emotions and physical changes we have during these simultaneous rites of passage make sense!  ✔️ Practical, doable steps new mothers who are also in perimenopause can take to support themselves.  Jane's wisdom here is absolute gold. Show Notes Jane's Website Jane's Instagram Jane's new offering, The Womancraft Way Dr. Oscar Serrallach's book on Postnatal Depletion While you're at it, if you enjoy The Becoming Podcast, I would be so grateful if you would take a moment to rate, review and even subscribe to it wherever you get your podcasts. That goes a long way toward helping more and more people find and benefit from hearing these interviews.  Thank you so much! 

Hello my friends!  Welcome to this month's episode of The Becoming Podcast!  I'm really excited because although most of the episodes of this pod are with folks that I am just getting to know in the context of our interview, this one is with someone I've known for a really long time. Nicholetta and I met almost a decade ago, in what, for me at least, was another lifetime in which I was a food blogger.  Nic and I traveled in the same circles of food loving writers, and it was such a fun time.  While my writing and work took a turn away from the culinary world, hers only deepened.  I still love Nicholetta's writing, and when I read a post from her Substack, Story Salt, late last year, I knew I had to have her on the podcast. The piece that Nic wrote was a searingly tender account of her first days and weeks as an empty nester, and what it was like to transition into "mothering from a distance."  I know so many of you are anticipating or are in the midst of this transition yourselves, and so I just had to have Nic on the show to share her experience with you. But first, let me tell you a little bit about her! Nicholetta Bokolas is a wife, mother, recipe developer and writer from Halifax, Nova Scotia. Her work sits at the intersection of food and story, exploring how recipes carry memory, family history, and identity. She completed her MFA in Creative Nonfiction at the University of King's College, where she began writing a culinary memoir about her Greek grandparents' journey to Canada, the restaurant they built from the ground up, and the recipes that continue to connect generations of her family.  Today, Nicholetta develops recipes and writes stories that celebrate everyday moments, family traditions, and the memories we make around the table. Here's some of what Nic and talk about in this episode: ✔️ Nic's experience of her first year of being an empty nester.  We talk about the difference between the identity shift into motherhood, or matrescence, and how it compares to the change in identity that occurs once our intensive mothering years are over. ✔️ We talk about the truth that "the days are long but the years are short," and how there's so much Nic couldn't fully appreciate about mothering until those long days were over.  We talk about not only wanting to return to those days to experience their sweetness, but also about all the things we might have done differently. ✔️ Nic shares that, ultimately, as she asked herself who she was becoming now that her intensive mothering years were behind her, she gave herself permission to follow dreams that she didn't have time for or didn't prioritize when her kids were younger.  This led her to her current work at and passion for the intersection of food, culture and identity as she explores the culinary roots of her family and shares amazing recipes with the world! ✔️ We have such an interesting conversation about how our identities can be wrapped up in the foods we eat (or don't eat). ✔️ Nic and I muse about what it means to nourish our loved ones, and that the food we feed ourselves and our children – along with the stories and connections that fosters – are such an important part of what it is to mother. Show Notes Nic's company, North House Social Nic's Substack, Story Salt The writing on being an empty nester that made me reach out to Nic to record this episode Nic's Instagram (you're going to want to check this out!) The piece Nic wrote for Jenny magazine The pasta recipe I raved about on the show Andy's East Coast Kitchen The Becoming Podcast episode with Estelle Thomson on fashion and identity shift

Hello my friends! I'm thrilled to be bringing you this episode of The Becoming Podcast with my lovely friend Megan Sheldon.  Megan and I have been connected for years through our mutual love of ritual and honouring the threshold moments of our lives.  She's been a previous guest on this podcast, I've been a guest on her podcast, and we've collaborated many times.  This time, I'm so excited to be sharing this conversation as Megan prepares to launch her book into the world.  I was honoured to be an early reader of this book, and Megan even invited me to write the foreword!  I can't wait until you can read it, too! First, let me tell you a bit more about Megan: Megan Sheldon is a humanist celebrant, end-of-life doula, ritual designer, and founder of Be Ceremonial. For over a decade she has guided individuals, families, and communities through the moments that matter most, from births and weddings to grief, loss, and the invisible thresholds in between. Her book Ritual Without Religion: A Humanist Guide to Creating Secular Ceremonies offers a path back to one of the most ancient of human practices for anyone who has felt the ceremony-shaped hole. She lives and works on the unceded territory of the Coast Salish Peoples in North Vancouver, BC. Here's some of what Megan and I talk about in our conversation: ✔️ The backstory of Megan's book, Ritual Without Religion, and how for so long she felt she couldn't access the ritual and ceremony that she longed for because she wasn't raised with a religious background. ✔️ How important it is bring ritual and ceremony into our lives in the small moments, not just the big ones. ✔️ An overview of Ritual Without Religion, including its' sections on the nature of ritual, the science of ritual, the art of ritual and the practice of ritual.  Megan covers topics like the effect of ritual on our bodies, how to hold space for ritual, rituals that "colour outside the lines," as well as tangible tools to help readers bring more ritual and ceremony into their lives. ✔️ The fact that our culture seems to be undergoing a paradigm shift whereby more and more people are craving, talking about and engaging in ritual. ✔️ The idea of ceremony-as-survival – that doing ritual isn't just a "nice thing to do," but that it was actually central to our ancestors' survival, and core to our modern wellbeing as well. ✔️ How ritual is a muscle that we need to learn to flex before we really need it in a moment of crisis or desperation. ✔️ How we can do ceremony with people who aren't super into it, becoming more confident ritual and ceremony leaders and facilitators. Show Notes Hear my first interview with Megan here   Pre-order Ritual Without Religion!   The Be Ceremonial Website   Megan's Instagram   Megan's 1:1 Ceremony Coaching   Megan's Ceremony Training   Also, while you're at it, if you enjoy The Becoming Podcast, I would be so grateful if you would rate, review and even subscribe to it wherever you get your podcasts.  That goes a long way toward helping more and more people find and benefit from hearing these interviews.  Thank you so much!

Hello everyone!  I'm completely thrilled to bring you this month's episode of The Becoming Podcast with Dr. Hillary McBride, my colleague and co-author of a chapter about the development of spirituality in matrescence in the recent book I've edited, Mother Becoming:  Reflections and Scholarship on Matrescence. Let me tell you a little bit about Hillary: Dr. Hillary McBride is a Registered Psychologist, host of the award winning CBC podcast Other People's Problems, and author of 5 books, including the Bestseller The Wisdom of Your Body and her most recent book released last year: Holy Hurt: Understanding spiritual trauma and the process of healing. She has been recognized by the American Psychological Association and Canadian Psychologist Association for her research and clinical work, and was awarded the prestigious International Young Investigators Award for her research contributions on women's sexuality. When she is not with patients or students, researching embodiment, or writing her next book, she loves to be near the ocean, or dancing with her daughter. Here's some of what Hillary and I dive into in our conversation together: The way that women's rites of passage, particularly matrescence and menopause, have been pathologized, overmedicalized and seen through a lens of deficiency...and how they are also, often, times of great potential and possibility in women's lives. How women's processes of growing up are often framed as a loss within misogynistic, patriarchal culture. Hillary's research on what happens during these developmental transitions when things go well...including that many women feel more connected to themselves and more embodied as they transform, but also afraid to talk about it because our culture so often supports and prefers a narrative of struggle during these times. We geek out on how you know a rite of passage is over, and some of the most important supports that can help us to integrate and metabolize transformative times in our lives. The spiritual growth that often occurs for women during the rites of passage they experience in their lives, including the chapter Hillary co-authored with our mutual colleague Dr. Larissa Rossen for the Mother Becomingbook on mothering as a spiritual technology. And so much more!  I loved this conversation with Hillary – I found it both tremendously affirming and deeply galvanizing as we look toward the power and potential that exists when women's rites of passage are well supported.  I hope you enjoy it too!   Listen to this episode on iTunes   Show Notes Hillary's website Hillary's instagram Hillary's CBC Podcast, "Other People's Problems" Hillary's books Mother Becoming:  Reflections and Scholarship on Matrescence   Also, while you're at it, if you enjoy the Becoming Podcast, I would be so grateful if you would rate, review and even subscribe to it wherever you get your podcasts.  That goes a long way to helping more and more people find and benefit from hearing these interviews.  Thank you so much!

Hello beautiful ones! I'm really thrilled to share this interview with my friend and colleague Kate Robson with you today. Kate and I got the opportunity to meet this Spring at a workshop I facilitated in her home city of Toronto – but, as it turns out, we have a web of connections both personal and professional that go way back!  It has been really cool to get to know Kate and her work this year, and I'm so thrilled to be able to uplift and support her excellent new book, Something to Hold Onto. First, though, let me tell you a little bit more about Kate: Kate Robson is a registered psychotherapist in Toronto, Ontario. Inspired by her own experiences with her children in a neonatal intensive care unit, she worked with babies, parents, and families for more than twelve years as a NICU family support specialist. She's travelled all over the world educating parents and clinicians about family-centred care and trauma informed care practices. Her workshops focus on cultivating attachment in relationships and creating emotion-friendly homes and workplaces. In her private practice she supports individuals and couples experiencing infertility, high risk pregnancies, NICU hospitalizations, major life transitions, and bereavement. She has degrees from McGill University and OISE/UT, completed her psychotherapy training at the Toronto Institute for Relational Psychotherapy, and has also studied modalities such as ACT, the Internal Family Systems Model, EMDR, PACT, and Somatic Embodiment. Her first book, Something to Hold Onto, is a collection of the most inspiring images and experiences from her time in the NICU and in private practice.   Here's some of what we talk about in this episode: ✔️ How a mother's matrescence experience is impacted by a NICU stay, including the challenges of holding both joy and fear at the same time, and how it can take time to recalibrate and find your own path upon returning home. ✔️ How Kate's new book, Something to Hold Onto, uses metaphor and imagery to help us with some of our most common human struggles – and in a way that doesn't require mental gymnastics, memorizing affirmations, or changing everything about our lives ✔️ Two of the metaphors in Kate's book that I think will resonate with you, dear listener, most deeply:  the ladder and the scaffolding.  Tune in to find out how these metaphors can support you, especially when you're experiencing a transition that's happening to you, or if you're overwhelmed right now with everything that is changing. ✔️ The metaphor that Kate is working with right now.  This was such a great example of how powerful this practice of working with metaphor and imagery can provide really tangible support – in other words, something to hold on to.   Show Notes Kate's Website Kate's Instagram Kate's new book, Something to Hold On To Mothermorphosis Retreat at Kripalu

Hey friends!  I'm so delighted to be back with another episode of the podcast, this time with a very longtime friend of mine:  Dr. Jenn Salib Huber. Dr. Jenn is a Canadian Registered Dietitian, Naturopathic Doctor and Intuitive Eating Counselor on a mission to help women manage menopause without diets and food rules. She supports women through the physical and emotional shifts of perimenopause and menopause using a Health at Every Size approach, intuitive eating, and practical nutrition. Jenn hosts The Midlife Feast podcast and community, and is the author of the upcoming book Eat to Thrive During Menopause, out October 21, 2025. I first met Jenn over a decade ago, when she supported me and my family with some really scary food allergies that my kiddos were having.  Our paths crossed again as I began writing Project Body Love, exploring my relationship with my body and, specifically, intuitive eating and the concept of health at every size.  In more recent years, Jenn has supported me as I've been transitioning through perimenopause.  I couldn't be happier to be sharing Jenn's wisdom with you today! Here's some of what we talk about: > We both share our somewhat hilarious stories of how we each realized we were in perimenopause – and then of course what happened for each of us afterward. > Why we know so little about the complex process of peri/menopause, why so many of us are surprised by our symptoms, and how Gen X and Millenial women are doing things differently, redefining the experience and demanding more information and better care. > The symptoms of perimenopause that no one expects, and that seemingly have nothing to do with perimenopause at all!  Jenn explains the "hormone soup" that exists in our body during this time, and how it has far-reaching impacts well beyond hot flashes and crime scene periods. > How our relationships with our bodies change during this transformational time in our lives – how many of us are confronted with the body and health changes associated with aging and the reality that we can't always control what happens to our health. > The potential that peri/menopause has to catalyze us to break up with Diet Culture for good and find joy and pleasure in food and movement.  We talk about the power and possibility that can reveal itself to us when we see this time as a rite of passage in our lives.  Jenn leaves us with the question:  how can midlife be a feast? I hope you love this interview as much as I did! Show Notes Jenn's book, Eat to Thrive During Menopause, comes out October 21st Pre-order the book and get some sweet bonus recipes! Jenn's website The Midlife Feast community - highly recommend! Jenn's amazing instagram page – seriously, it's such a wealth of tangible, shareable knowledge here! The Midlife Feast podcast The episode of the Midlife Feast that Jenn and I did together, on when the rite of passage into motherhood overlaps with the rite of passage into perimenopause The Project Body Love book  

Welcome back to another episode of The Becoming Podcast, all! I'm delighted to bring you my conversation with writer Cindy DiTiberio today.  I've been following Cindy's work on her Substack, The Mother Lode, for quite a while now, and I know you're going to love our conversation.  So many of my clients and the women I connect with are experiencing – or thinking about – the end of their intimate partnerships, and I think Cindy's wisdom will really resonate with you.  This episode is especially for you if it's your transition into motherhood that has instigated a reckoning in your relationship.   Here's some of what we talked about in our conversation: > How MDMA therapy helped Cindy know that she needed to leave her marriage. > What so often happens to relationships when a couple has a baby.  We talk about everything from sex to paternity leave to caregiving and the mental load. > The feeling of being trapped by oppressive systems of capitalism and patriarchy and how heterosexual couples often end up in traditional, gendered roles without ever intending to.  We talk about the role of internalized patriarchy, the devaluing of women's time, and how both Cindy and I (and so many other mothers we know) ended up squeezing our full time work into part time hours so we could also be primary caregivers. > How personal growth journeys – whether that's into deeper spiritual paths or into a feminist awakening – can cause couples to drift apart. > How the pandemic awakened our culture to the many ways modern hetero partnership has failed women and mothers.   I think you're going to love my conversation with Cindy.  I think it's so relatable for so many of us who are mothering and perhaps grappling with how to navigate our relationships, whether they're ending or evolving.  

Welcome all! I'm really excited to introduce you to Enfys J. Book on the Becoming podcast today.  I came across Enfys' new book Queer Rites:  A Magickal Grimoire to Honor Your Milestones with Pride in a random search for other folks who were just as nerdy about rites of passage as I am.  I really loved getting to know them and the conversation we had was just so rich.   In this episode, Enfys and I touch on: > The lack of rites of passage for queer folk, and how deeply gendered so many of our "traditional" rites of passage are > How rites of passage are like "anchors to the self."  I love the way Enfys described this > The name change ritual that inspired Enfys to write Queer Rites > The pros and cons of labeling our identities, and how we can get more comfortable with the ways in which our identities evolve and change as we do > What makes a ritual "work" and be effective > How queer rites of passage are an act of resistance