89: How illusion is ruining your sex life and attraction (and what to do about it)

My most "meta" episode yet...   If your suffering about your relationship is caused by comparisons to illusions (rose-colored memories of your ex, Disney, Tiktok), then can we flip the dynamic on its head and re-invigorate the relationship by using illusion to our advantage?   Warning: I'm about to ruin attraction for you in this episode.   **Upcoming: Sex Anxiety Clinic with Shayna Hiller - A virtual masterclass to awaken pleasure, and release shame and dread in the bedroom: March 14, 2024 at 2pm PST/5pm EST. Register here.   Ask me anything on Wisio: www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach   Who we are: Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach     Time Stamps: 4:55 - Falling for the illusion of your partner 13:00 - Finding a partner that challenges your unconsciousness 16:35 - Two ways to improve your sex life 22:55 - Our sex anxiety clinic

If you've ever experienced dread around making love due to the "ick," pain, anxiety, shame, or being too tired, this episode is for you! I'm excited to introduce a dear friend and mentor of mine, who is also a trained Tao Tantric Priestess, Integrative Nutrition Coach, and Yoga Teacher. Her name is Shayna Hiller. In this episode, we will discuss the causes of dread around sex, as well as what you can do to start looking forward to sex especially if it's gotten stale in the bedroom. You're not alone; No, you're not broken, and no, you're not necessarily with the wrong partner if you're not feeling turned on by their mere presence!   Register for the Sex Anxiety Clinic: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/sexanxietyclinic   To apply for Shayna's retreat and/or training: www.embodiedwisdomretreat.com or Shayna's website www.shaynahiller.com   Next ALC Patreon community call: Saturday, March 2nd at 9am PST/12pm EST: www.patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach.com   Who we are: Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach Shayna Hiller @Shaynahiller   Time Stamps: 6:52 Shayna’s long-term celibacy in her twenties 12:43  Clearing sexual trauma through the tantric arts 19:51  Inspiring your partner to be their best selves 26:34  Deciding that you don’t like sex, when the reality is that you dislike the sex you are having 30:21  How stress leads to anxiety in the bedroom 37:10  Normalizing the ebbs and flows in your relationship and your sex life 38:30  Scheduling sex 46:15  What to do when you dread having sex with your healthy, loving partner 1:05:00 Sex Anxiety Masterclass on March 14th 2pm PST 1:11:12 You are wired for pleasure 1:14:43 Shayna’s Embodied Wisdom Retreat

An underrated skill in the path of overcoming relationship anxiety: reclaiming softness, befriending anxiety, and learning to trust and follow glimmers of joy. This episode was so tender and beautiful it made me weepy. I am very grateful to present to you this episode with Jessica Fawn, yoga and tantra teacher. We spoke about seeing anxiety as a profound messenger for healing, and learning to nurture it— and what that can look like in the context of partnership. Also, I will be joining her Temple membership, so see you there 🙂 Temple is Jessica Fawn's online school for women's softness & sensuality. Memberships start at 15$ per month. Doors open March 25-28th. The daily schedule includes goddess tantra, art therapy, archetypal work, moon rituals, sensual dance, and self-love cultivation. To read more about Temple: www.intothetemple.com/temple-school   Special gift for Anxious Love Coach Podcast listeners: receive 10% OFF on all plans: use the coupon code SISTERLOVE   Who we are: Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach Jessica Fawn @jessicafawn_   Time Stamps: 4:00 - Jessica’s journey through anxiety and depression 8:40 - The power of embracing your anxiety 15:20 - What does “softness” mean in the feminine context? 19:00 - Working with a dysregulated nervous system from an embodiment perspective 30:45 - Jessica’s Temple program

If you've experienced profound healing and liberation from relationship anxiety, you may have felt the desire to pass this transformation on to others. If that's you, you're going to want to give this a listen and hear what it's like to be on the other side as a practitioner, and what it takes to hold outstanding healing space for others. Also, my dearest friend is hosting the first practitioner program of its kind that I've seen. I highly endorse this and recommend you join. Wisio (my "Ask Nat" service): www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach - use the code LOVE2024 for 10% off through 2/20/24 Patreon: www.patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach - Next group meditation + coaching call Saturday, March 2nd 9am PST/12pm EST For the practitioner program:   Waitlist link: https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/practitioner-training You can also email Chelsea - [email protected] Upcoming free event for those interested: https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/hangout   Who we are: Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach Chelsea Joy Horton @Healingembodied   Time Stamps: 8:00  Chelsea and Natalie’s paths into relationship anxiety and embodiment work 12:05 Downsides of working in the world of therapy 18:30 How Chelsea’s current work differs from traditional therapy 38:15 Creating a “human first” business 45:00 Chelsea’s practitioner training program

Two things are true: 1) I am unqualified to speak on ERP and OCD and 2) I am sharing my thoughts about ERP for those that still want to hear them even though I am unqualified. What is ERP (Exposure & Response Prevention)? How helpful is it for those with relationship anxiety? What are its strengths and limitations? In this episode, I'll share my thoughts on this treatment. Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is Sunday, February 11th at 8am PST/11am EST. https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach   Who we are: Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach   Time Stamps: 5:04 What is ERP (exposure response therapy)? 9:34  The dangers of disassociating 13:00  What is polarity work? 20:00 Compassionate self-inquiry

My beloved Aunt Diane sent me some tips and I don't gatekeep. Listen up!   Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged starting January 19th: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach   Who we are: Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Hey! I'm testing out a new mic, so bear with me. 😉 If you tend to compare your partner to other people in real life or online, this episode is for you! I used to struggle with this a lot, but these tools have become second nature to me now and both my husband and I are much happier and more in love than ever.   Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged starting January 19th: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach   Who we are: Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach   Time Stamps: 3:50 Grieving the lives that you were unable to live 4:40 Tips to stop comparing your relationship to those of others 13:40 Both Feet In - Abridged

So many clients of mine feel ashamed when they experience a crush while in partnership. It’s a highly charged, delicate topic! You’re not alone, and you’re not a bad partner. If you’ve experienced this, I’d like to give you some tools to navigate it ethically while also honoring your humanness. I’ll be covering 5 tips to get you from freaking out, to getting under the surface of your crush, to using it to enhance your relationship with yourself and maybe even your loved one.   Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged starting January 19th: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach   Who we are: Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach   Time Stamps: 3:50 Allowing the fantasy of the crush 5:30 What happens in your mind is private 6:40 Who we perceive ourselves to be in the fantasy 9:15 Grieving your unlived lives 12:10 Working with the tension between opposites 15:20 Acknowledging what is going right in your relationship  

Trigger warning: this episode is a story. It is chock-full of triggers, pain, grief, mentions of death, blood, and gore. If you've experienced miscarriage and there are some sore spots and tenderness, I might wait until you've gotten enough support to grieve before listening to this. In this episode, I share a recent loss, and how I've coped with it through ritual, embodiment, and dark humor. I'll also share the incredible things it taught me about love, loss, and letting go...   This may not be a "relationship anxiety" episode, but for those of you who are willing to traverse with me to a darker, messier place, I'm hopeful you'll gain metaphorical, transferable lessons on self-trust from a story where I go deeper than I've ever been able to go before... you may find it applies to you deeply still if you have ever loved.   Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged staring January 19th: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach   Who we are: Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach   Time Stamps: 8:15 - Finding out that I was pregnant 13:15 - Dealing with my miscarriage 30:04 - Surrendering to and trusting the universe in the midst of fear 48:00 - My feelings after the miscarriage 1:00:01 - Gratitude as a response to adversity

I entered my relationship "knowing" Preston was the one... but then, years in, I stopped knowing anymore! In this episode, I speak to the younger version of myself that was struggling horribly with relationship anxiety. Some of you are in this place and I want to remind you that A) you're not alone, and B) you don't need to suffer with this forever. There are tools to give you clarity and support you with your doubts and fears.   Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach   P.S. Thanks so much for your support after my last episode... I am feeling much better. I plan to speak on my experience more in a separate episode. But for now... I'm so grateful for my life and want to keep going. Also, I tried to make a shorter episode and failed 😄 OH WELL   Who we are: Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach