Self Compassion For Overachievers with Attorney Mark Goldstein & Dr. Kristin Neff

Today we’re exploring the skill that ambitious, anxious brains often resist: self-compassion. You’ll hear attorney Mark Goldstein’s candid story of OCD, depression, panic attacks, and the leave of absence that helped him rebuild a career and a life with support, therapy, mindfulness, and (yes) compassion. Then, Dr. Kristin Neff, pioneer of self-compassion research, teaches practical tools you can use today. We cover how to handle rumination, reframe “perfection” into being a “compassionate mess,” and when to turn on fierce self-protection versus tender care. If you hold yourself to impossible standards, this conversation will give you language, strategies, and permission to be human and still perform. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why self-compassion is a performance skill for anxious achievers. 02:00 Learn from Mark Goldstein on perfectionism, OCD, and the billable-hour trap. 05:45 “I couldn’t stop checking”: the 2017 spiral and panic attacks. 09:30 When did you decide you needed help and where did you start? 13:00 Taking a leave of absence, the fear of perception, and the reality of support. 18:45 Reframing “weakness” and treating mental health as a disability. 21:00 Dr. Kristin Neff on why our brains default to self-criticism. 23:30 The hack to turn caregiving inward. 25:15 Tips for practical self-talk (authentic compassion, NOT empty affirmations.) 27:30 When to deploy fierce vs. tender compassion and harnessing anger for protection. 30:00 How to stop rumination. 32:15 How to create room for compassion and grow without fear. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

Ever feel like the very habits that made you successful are now holding you back? In this episode, I sit down with executive coach Muriel Wilkins, author of Leadership Unblocked: Break Through The Beliefs That Limit Your Potential, to talk about the hidden beliefs that drive overachievers to perfectionism, micromanagement, and control. She breaks down how deeply rooted beliefs about worth, control, and safety shape your behavior at work. Tune in to learn how to rewire your thinking so you can lead with more ease, clarity, and confidence. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Meet Muriel Wilkins, Executive Coach and Founder & CEO of Paravis Partners. 07:00 How performance-based beliefs shape your sense of worth and leadership identity. 10:30 Ways to “break out of the matrix” and rewrite beliefs that keep you stuck in perfectionism. 13:30 The three most common “blockers” that high-achieving leaders face. 18:15 The belief that traps high-performing leaders in frustration and conflict. 21:15 Coaching exercise that helps leaders see their blind spots. 26:45 How over-caring and over-consensus quietly become leadership paralysis. 30:30 Ways to set limits and “contracts” that help reel in perfectionism. 35:45 How “I need to be involved” thinking keeps leaders stuck in the weeds and blocks growth. Resources + Links Read Muriel's book, Leadership Unblocked Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Muriel: on LinkedIn @murielwilkins + Instagram @coachmurielwilkins

What does it take to tell the truth when the world punishes you for it? In this conversation we're bringing back from 2021, Gabrielle Union talks about living with PTSD and social anxiety, the experiences in toxic workplaces, and what it means to keep speaking out even when fear follows close behind. She shares how activism triggers anxiety, the coping tools to keep you grounded from therapy to mindfulness, and how to redefine success through truth, purpose, and self-acceptance. Get ready to see how courage and healing can coexist and how learning to be alone doesn’t mean being lonely. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 What does a toxic workplace look like, then vs. now? 06:30 The emotional cost of telling the truth in an industry built on silence. 11:00 How trauma survivors navigate social anxiety, boundaries, and life in the public eye. 16:00 Tools to calm anxiety and regain control. 21:45 How intentional alone time restores peace, clarity, and self-trust. 24:30 The powerful distinction between being alone and being lonely. 28:15 How Gabrielle’s 2012 Essence speech became a turning point toward truth and self-acceptance. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Gabrielle: on LinkedIn @gabrielleunion + Instagram @gabunion

What happens when one of America’s most admired CEOs admits that fear of failure never left him, even after building a multi-billion-dollar brand? In this episode, I sit down with Lewis Frankfort, the former CEO who transformed Coach from a small leather goods company into a global powerhouse and coined the term “accessible luxury”. Lew shares about the lifelong anxiety that drove him to excel, the depressive episodes that followed high-pressure seasons, and the methods to stay grounded, from meditation and exercise to cognitive coaching and “magic and logic” leadership. Get ready to see how even the most accomplished leaders are powered by the same fears and how facing them with purpose, curiosity, and compassion unlocks greatness. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Meet Lew Frankfort, former CEO of Coach, Inc. 02:00 How was the term “accessible luxury” born? 06:15 How do high-performing leaders manage depression? 10:00 Ways to turn fear of failure into fuel for growth. 14:00 The discipline that turned Coach into a best-in-class business. 19:30 What happens when success leads to disconnection and burnout. 23:30 Daily practices that restore energy and emotional balance. 26:00 Lew’s first mental health toolkit. 30:00 Interviewing method to uncover self-awareness and potential blind spots. 36:15 Why great leaders hire for complementarity, not similarity. 40:30 Lew’s “Three-Bucket Framework” for CEOs. 43:00 Why therapy and mental health care should be normalized for every leader. Resources + Links Get your copy of Lew’s book, “Bag Man: The Story Behind the Improbable Rise of Coach” HERE  Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Lew Frankfort on LinkedIn @lewfrankfort

What happens when the adrenaline fades and achievement alone stops feeling fulfilling? Robert Glazer is back to talk about what it really means to live and lead by your values. After selling his company and spending years in overdrive, Bob shares his journey of slowing down, rebuilding identity, and rediscovering purpose through self-awareness and core values. We talk about how to shift from fixing weaknesses to playing to your strengths, how values guide better leadership and relationships, and why authenticity, not automation, will define the future of content creation in the AI era. Get ready to learn how your core values can become your compass for work, purpose, and well-being. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 How stress hormones and constant adrenaline shape your health and identity. 08:15 Ways to identify and leverage your strengths instead of fixing weaknesses. 14:30 What are the dangers of overusing your strengths? 18:00 How core values become your ultimate decision-making framework. 23:15 Aligning personal values with relationships, work, and community. 28:00 How childhood experiences shape your leadership and money values. 36:45 The future of content, authenticity, and paying creators in the AI era. 41:45 Why human connection and imperfection will be the new premium in a digital world. 44:45 How to re-train your audience to pay for content they value. Resources + Links Grab your copy of Robert’s The Compass Within HERE! Explore The Six Core Values Questions Page to help identify your personal and professional core values Subscribe to Robert’s newsletter HERE! Listen to Robert’s The Elevate Podcast HERE! Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Robert on LinkedIn @glazer + Instagram @robertglazer_

ADHD isn’t just about distraction, it’s about emotion, motivation, and the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. J. Russell Ramsay, co-founder of the University of Pennsylvania’s Adult ADHD Treatment and Research Program, to break down how anxiety and ADHD often overlap. We talk about how ADHD is an uncertainty generator that triggers anxiety, what “self-mistrust” really looks like, and why so many high achievers feel brilliant but inconsistent. Dr. Ramsay shares cognitive behavioral tools to boost focus, follow-through, and confidence, and the S.A.P. Action Plan to rebuild motivation when procrastination or self-doubt take over. Get ready to turn self-mistrust into self-mastery and use your anxious energy as fuel for focus and growth. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why are ADHD and anxiety so commonly co-occurring? 05:45 How a lifetime of ADHD moments leads to self-mistrust. 12:30 Why losing external structure during the pandemic made ADHD worse. 18:00 The three-part time management system that helps ADHD brains stay focused and calm. 25:15 How to channel last minute anxiety into productive momentum. 28:00 Why does ADHD exist on a spectrum of executive function? 32:00 How ADHD insights translate into workplace efficiency and emotional management. 35:00 S.A.P. Action Plan that bridges the gap between knowing and doing. 43:00 How cognitive behavioral tools can help you manage both anxiety and ADHD. 50:45 How to manage meetings, rebuild trust, and avoid burning social capital. Resources + Links Grab your copy of Dr. J. Russell Ramsay's The Adult ADHD Tool Kit HERE! Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow J Russel on LinkedIn: @russellramsay

We’ve been taught that confidence means the absence of anxiety, but what if that’s completely wrong? In this special crossover episode, I joined Anne and Frances from Fixable to talk about the hidden link between anxiety and confidence. They answer listener questions about feeling awkward at work, leading with trust, and staying confident during rejection. We also delve into why anxiety is not a flaw but a sign of growth, how to handle “awkward office moments” with grace, and how to turn setbacks into superpowers. Get ready to see your anxiety as proof that you care, not proof that you can’t. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why anxiety and confidence are deeply connected. 04:00 How do you rebuild in-person confidence after remote work? 06:30 Why awkwardness at the office is completely normal. 09:00 The “Snack Week” experiment to practice connection and confidence. 13:00 Leadership lessons for helping your team build confidence. 15:00 Why weekend praise texts might backfire. 18:00 The right way to give feedback and celebrate failure. 21:00 How to stay confident through job rejection. 25:00 Why you already have confidence inside you. 30:00 How do you turn perfectionism into progress? 32:00 One Post-it exercise to stay grounded and confident every day. Resources + Links Listen to Anne & Frances’ Fixable Podcast HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Anne Morriss: @annemorriss Follow Frances Frei: @francesxfrei

So many high achievers feel like their anxiety or depression will hold them back, but what if those challenges are actually your edge? In this episode, I sit down with Josh Kilmer-Purcell, co-founder of Beekman 1802 and Amazing Race winner, to talk about how living with anxiety and depression can shape your leadership, your creativity, and your approach to risk. Josh shares the mindset shifts, practical tools, and partnership strategies that helped him build a $150M brand without ignoring mental health. We also dive into empathy as a business strength, using “nightmare boards” to manage risk, and why kindness is a measurable business advantage. Get ready to use your anxiety as your superpower! In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Meet Josh Kilmer-Purcell, co-founder of Beekman 1802. 05:00 Risk and mental health in entrepreneurship and leadership. 08:30 Anxiety as a superpower and depression as a source of empathy. 16:30 How to use anxiety as a strategic advantage in your business. 20:30 The 51% rule for making tough business and relationship decisions. 26:45 Tools to manage depression and build resilience. 32:30 What is a nightmare board? 34:45 How to reframe envy into growth and perspective. 40:00 What chickens and “crone hens” teach us about aging, purpose, and enoughness. 47:15 Why sticking to your success goalpost builds lasting contentment. 54:00 How to know if you belong among people or in nature. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Josh on LinkedIn: @joshkilmerpurcell

Anxiety isn’t a flaw you have to hide or a weakness you need to fix, it’s information you can use. In this special cross-post from The Next Big Idea podcast, I sit down with host Rufus Griscom to talk about what 17 years of research, leadership interviews, and lived experience have taught me about navigating anxiety, depression, and neurodivergence. I share how reframing anxiety as data can help you show up with courage, why over-functioning often comes from childhood systems, and the surprising science linking mental health challenges with leadership excellence. Plus, I also share tools to work with self-criticism, break free from procrastination, and even “bank joy” so you have reserves to call on when life feels heavy. Get ready to turn your anxious brain into an ally instead of an enemy. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why anxiety is a data not an excuse. 05:30 How common anxiety and depression really are in leaders. 09:15 Family systems theory and the roots of over-functioning. 16:45 What is the Yerkes-Dodson curve? 20:45 Ways to manage anxiety. 22:30 How to stop cruel self-talk with tools like self-compassion. 27:45 How do you sustain focus when a project is no longer exciting? 34:00 What can companies do to better support neurodiverse employees? 36:15 Grounding techniques to reset anxiety at work. 41:00 Visualization practices to comfort your inner child. 46:00 The ‘banana trick’ from ACT therapy to stop catastrophic thoughts. Resources + Links Listen to The Next Big Idea Podcast HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Rufus on LinkedIn: @rufusgriscom

What can an Astrophysics Lab teach us about managing for inclusive excellence- and how can it make your own meetings better? In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Keivan Stassun, MacArthur Genius Fellow, Vanderbilt astrophysicist, and founder of the Frist Center for Autism and Innovation. We talk about clear communication norms, leading better meetings and other practices that support neurodiverse talent, and the mindset shift managers need to unlock hidden genius at work. Get ready to create workplaces where every brain can thrive. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 What does “inclusive excellence” really mean? 05:15 How clear communication norms unlock focus and fairness. 08:30 Why agendas, structure, and precision help neurodivergent employees. 12:00 Ways to build new team habits that stick over time. 16:00 Supporting hyperfocus and respecting “hardwired” traits. 20:30 What Dr. Stassun discovered about his own brain through managing diverse teams. 23:00 Why Dr. Stassun normalized virtual participation years before COVID. 27:30 The science of visual thinking and strengths-based neurodiversity. 30:15 Why creativity and genius show up in many different forms. 33:30 The #1 mindset shift managers need to unlock talent. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Dr.Keivan Stassun on LinkedIn: @keivanstassun