Lizzo Could Write 'Blonde,' But Joyce Carol Oates Couldn’t Write “Juice”

Ej had her baby! Even though Brittany tries and fails to get the name Giuseppe off the ground, we promise Ej gave her newborn an iconic name. That being said, we share some news about the podcast’s future as Ej goes on maternity leave and get in one episode full of people who can’t stop pissing us off beforehand, like everyone behind Blonde, a movie so bad it led to an online debate about whether or not non-hotties can write about historical hotties. Other topics discussed: the Try Guys Try Infidelity; the right’s uproar over Lizzo playing James Madison’s crystal flute and EJ quizzes Brittany on some of our notable past himbos.Links referred to in this episode: https://twitter.com/TereseMarieM/status/1575270063518752768 https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/try-guys-ned-fulmer-leaves-youtube-1234600780/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6fIp7mMJ90&feature=youtu.be https://twitter.com/cmclymer/status/1574967955871629312 https://www.tiktok.com/@itsmerkey/video/7147016346662898987?is_from_webapp=v1&item_id=7147016346662898987 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

With the Adam Levine sexts leaking and the Celtics head coach getting fired for cheating on Nia Long, this has been a banner week for shitty straight men. Luckily, on TikTok we have a new healthy model for masculinity: La Bussi, the new mascot for the Sabadell public transit system, a horrifying monstrosity who nonetheless has an extraordinary amount of swagger. Other topics discussed: the Miami Boys’ Choir (and whether or not they’ll be milkshake ducked); why Netflix should stop hiring hot people to play serial killers; more Don’t Worry, Darling drama, and whether children should be allowed on planes. Feat. content creator Ceecee Jacobsen.Links referred to in this episode: https://www.vulture.com/2022/09/can-dont-worry-darling-recover-from-the-bad-press.htm https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNGH6E7-pFQ https://www.tiktok.com/@destinyiriss/video/7144154502797561131?_t=8VyxaTgnlYx&_r=1 https://www.insider.com/rita-isbell-sister-jeffrey-dahmer-victim-talks-about-netflix-show-2022-9 https://www.tiktok.com/@petit_sabadell/video/7146263280640593158?_t=8VytpquW0rO&_r=1 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is it a good idea to DM your recently dumped Instagram model mistress to ask if it’s OK if you and your supermodel pregnant wife name your baby after her? No, and while you didn’t need to be told that, Adam Levine of aggressively mediocre elevator band Maroon 5 fame apparently did. Other things you probably don’t need to be told: don’t get leg-lengthening surgery (ladies love a short king!), don’t get your sex education from 2 Girls 1 Cup, and don’t sleep on Wisconsin, the most premium vacation destination in our great nation. Feat. Huddy of “All the Things I Hate About You” fame, who finally reveals to the olds what a “homie hopper” is (Adam Levine could relate!) and shares that he dropped the Lil from his name to share the rawest, most real version of himself. Same, king! Also featuring an extremely impassioned synopsis of the Diane Keaton body swap comedy “Mack and Rita,” a film so bad that it gave Brittany COVID.Links referenced in this episode: https://www.tiktok.com/@leamichele/video/7144759304476773678?is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1&lang=en https://www.gq.com/story/leg-lengtheninghttps://jezebel.com/stories-about-my-brother-1835651181 https://www.tiktok.com/@sumnerstroh/video/7145094095915240750?_r=1&_t=8Voo2USJcF9&is_from_webapp=v1&item_id=7145094095915240750 > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRTEAmq5c2A https://www.inlander.com/spokane/no-idaho-schools-are-not-teaching-porn-literacy/Content?oid=24569006 https://www.tiktok.com/@georgejapan02/video/7142919408476802305?is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1&refer=embed&referer_url= https%3A%2F%2Fcdn.embedly.com%2F&referer_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.usatodaynetworkservice.com%2F&referer_video_id=7142919408476802305  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

After months of speculation that the Palace was soft-launching the Queen’s death, Brittany and Ej break the news, Newsroom-style, that Queen Elizabeth II passed away at the tender age of 96….only to be replaced by her son, a boiled lunchroom carrot who secretly dreams of becoming a Horse Girl’s tampon. This week on DLTF, we talk Queen group threads and death memes (including one featuring a famously very pregnant influencer), the surprisingly inspiring (if not gross) love story of Charles and Camilla, racists pants-shitting over Halle Bailey’s casting in The Little Mermaid, and Martha Stewart’s incredibly horny Green Mountain Coffee sponcon. Feat. Sweaty Oracle, the Broadway DeuxMoi, to spill the tea on Lea Michele’s Funny Girl debut (why were there so many cameras in the audience on opening night???) and the real divas in the FG cast. Links referenced in this episode: :https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/mar/16/what-happens-when-queen-elizabeth-dies-london-bridge https://twitter.com/b1odeuwedd/status/1567938479983673348 https://www.vulture.com/2022/09/queen-elizabeth-ii-death-twitter-memes-brands.html https://www.tiktok.com/@timelineworldhistory/video/7032320527561755909?_r=1&_t=8VbNQ6v8uBK&is_from_webapp=v1&item_id=7032320527561755909 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-wPm99PF9U&t=74s https://www.tiktok.com/@preciousavery/video/7142147380329057579 https://www.instagram.com/p/CiQADs6Akhq/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week for DLTF’s 50th episode (!) Brittany returns from her vacation to dissect Don’t Worry, Darling’s Venice Film Festival fracas, specifically Spitgate and whether Harry Styles spitting on Chris Pine is more than a figment of our collective horny imagination. We also discuss Leo sending Camila Morrone to the Island of Ancient Girlfriends, Lea Michele’s flop of a redemption profile, how TikTok thinks Marco Polo is a front for sex traffickers, and our horniness for Brendan Fraser. Feat. an interview with TikTok’s ur-bimbo Chrissy Chlapecka.Links referenced in this episode:  https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-news/dont-worry-darling-stars-avoid-rumors-controversies-venice-press-conference-1234586833/ https://www.nytimes.com/2022/09/01/theater/lea-michele-funny-girl-broadway.html https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/bimbo-reclaim-tiktok-gen-z-1092253/https://www.gq.com/story/what-ever-happened-to-brendan-fraser Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Most things are fake on the internet, but at least one thing is real: Yung Gravy’s eternal, abiding love of MILFs, as demonstrated by his PDA with Addison Rae’s mom Sheri at the VMAs on Sunday. This week, we celebrate the couple for raising MILF awareness in America as well as dissect the outrageously addictive ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ drama, the stripper pole-centric moral panic gripping parents nationwide, social media platforms’ obligation to influencers, proper airport attire, and of course, himbos. Featuring actor and comedian Luke Cook discussing the latter subject. Also, it’s corn!Links referenced in this episode: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/film-tv/a40772062/florence-pugh-dont-worry-darling-interview/ https://variety.com/2022/film/features/olivia-wilde-harry-styles-sex-scenes-dont-worry-darling-1235347929/ https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/pop-culture-news/gabbie-hanna-tiktoks-prompt-concern-platform-action-rcna44708 https://www.tiktok.com/@leonabeonaa/video/7130040488979123461?_r=1&_t=8V8AU60esBe&is_from_webapp=v1&item_id=7130040488979123461 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

(In Stefan voice) This episode has everything: extremely online Tumblr zillennials canceling Elizabethan playwrights for no reason; stupid conspiracy theories about the tragic deaths of Emmy-nominated bisexual actresses; the real reason why Zach Braff made Garden State; dragging pervy That 70s Show stars, and surprisingly well-endowed SNL stars who are not named Pete Davidson. Featuring culture reporter Morgan Sung of NBC News, explaining the 2022 TikTok lesbian breakupapocalypse and JoJo Siwa’s rather unusual (re: badass) pickup techniques. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The past week has been a maelstrom of toxic masculinity, what with former kickboxer/sentient condom on hair salon floor Andrew Tate taking over everyone’s For You page and Addison Rae’s stepdad threatening to punch anyone who tries to have sex with his ex-wife. As a balm, we read Jenette McCurdy’s much-discussed memoir I’m Glad My Mom Died this week and chat about whether dogs in San Francisco are really addicted to methhead poop. Also, we feature a Himbo of the Week who wants you to confront your ugly spirit, plus Brittany states her theory that Yung Gravy is pretending to want to have sex with MILFs for clout. Prove us wrong, Gravy!Links referenced in this episode: https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-news/jennette-mccurdy-nickelodeon-hush-money-memoir-excerpt-1393540/ https://www.dexerto.com/entertainment/tana-mongeau-says-monty-lopez-cheating-rumors-are-just-tip-of-the-iceberg-1867918/ https://www.tiktok.com/@montyjlopez/video/7129204843805199658 https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2022-01-03/san-francisco-property-crime-spikes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re a show-stopper! A bad liar! A homie hopper! This week, Ej and Brittany (back from her two-week birthday celebration) are returning with a discussion of the Satanic conspiracy theories about Beyonce’s new album, potentially misleading TikTok PMS ads, and a pop-punk love triangle for the ages culminating in perhaps the most messy breakup song ever written, Lil Huddy’s “All the Things I Hate About You” (what is a “homie hopper”? IDK but Shakespeare is quaking in his 16th century mutton-skin boots). Also discussed are Harry Styles’ secret initial One Direction audition, Pete and Kim’s breakup, and a homophobic ‘Hamilton’ bootleg production going viral on TikTok that Nancy Pelosi is probably drafting a tweet about as we speak. Featuring an interview with Dev Lemons, aka SongPsych on YouTune and TikTok. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We have a spicy one this week! Producer Liz Garber-Paul sits in for Brittany, who’s on vacation this week, and we’re kicking off with our in-depth explainer of Prince William’s alleged love of prostate play and the tangled romantic web the royals weave, followed by our guest Remy Kassimir, host of the podcast How Cum, chatting about OnlyFans, eating ass on the first date, and how to have an orgasm if you’re poor. Also discussed: the triumphant return of Bama Rush Tok (“the top is from Shein, jewelry is normal, the shorts are from the Pants Store”), the recent spate of media coverage about Nazi furries, and why Kevin Bacon is proof that God loves unproblematic people.Links referenced in this episode:  https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/17/style/bama-rush-explained.html https://www.tiktok.com/@gracynedmondsonnn/video/7125569217960709419?_t=8UTOtb5HM3m&_r=1 https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/does-the-furry-community-have-a-nazi-problem-194282/ https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/furries-midwest-furfest-mainstream-932924/ https://wchstv.com/news/local/west-virginia-man-michael-edward-herman-charged-after-allegedly-making-terroristic-threats-toward-state-officials-governor-jim-justice-attorney-general-patrick-morrisey-law-enforcement-abortion-ban-roe-v-wade-twitter https://www.tiktok.com/@kevinbacon/video/7122986144182324526?_t=8US3gsPfDUk&_r=1 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices