Broken Rules for Broken Hearts

SHE'S BACK!! This week I'm reading an old article I submitted to NYT Modern Love. The article and I were both rejected, so at least we can bond over that. If this was a Friends episode, it would be titled The One Who Went To Switzerland For A Guy- FLOP ERA EDITION. Well, what are you waiting for?  Instagram: @lenahelz Tik Tok: @lenacuisine 

Everything about 8th grade makes me want to pull my eyeballs out, which is why I am reliving it and re-reading it! You can view this episode on YouTube on my channel Lena Tries.  TikTok: lenacuisine Instagram: lenahelz

BIG NEWS! This is the first episode I filmed and made a YouTube video out of. You can watch it here https://youtu.be/4htc62N0Jcg on my channel Lena Tries.  This episode takes place in middle school and is up to eyeballs in cringe. At one point I do break out into a Christian camp song and I apologize ahead of time.  Thanks for listening and be sure to subscribe to never miss an uncomfortable journal entry. 

Gulp. We've done it. We've made it to middle school! Still using the In and Out lists and still crushing on Jack. Turns out middle school isn't much different- except that Alena is a Student Body Officer. And with that great power, comes great responsibility.  Follow @readitandbeep for photos behind the stories.

This week I am joined by Sebastian Conelli, host of Loud About Nothing podcast and resident Staten Island man. I met Sebastian at one of his comedy shows at UCB in New York and stalked their Instagram page to find him. Sebastian is easily one of the funniest human people I've met and I'm so glad he's joining me on this special episode. Today we're reading our old elementary school books and poems. I don't want to claim we were prolific children, but I will. Listen to the Loud About Nothing podcast and follow us @sebastianconelli @lenahelz @readitandbeep

Did you read The Clique novels? No? Well then get out of here! Run! Quick, there might be time to save yourself! For the rest of you, do you remember Massie Block's iconic In and Out lists? Young Alena drew a lot of inspiration from those in the year 2006. Follow @readitandbeep because I said so.

Still in the year 2005 and it is gooooood to be here. Freddie Highmore the celeb and star has once again made an appearance. Alena thinks she is going to die and writes a whole list of goodbyes. My favorite line? "I know I'm not always fun to be around and you weren't either." follow @readitandbeep on Instagram to see the photo of Alena and her evil foam twin Alana

She's moved to a new school, a special school for the smartie pants. But - plot twist - she misses her old school where she was bullied because she is drunk on nostalgia. Classic! Also, who will she love? Taylor, Jack, or Tommy?! So many options.  Follow @readitandbeep on the gram for photos and fun and polls and all that jazz.  If you're new to this podcast, welcome! hi! howdy! I'm reading my old diary entries chronologically and we're currently in the year 2004. 

Pretty self explanatory title! We finish my trip to Sweden with an unnecessary amount of details. I journal throughout my day as a 4th grader and surprise, surprise, bullying is involved! And then we end on one of my weirder entries.  Follow @readitandbeep on Instagram for pictures and more!

Another week of making my way thru my old diaries. Still perfecting this format so please give your suggestions!  This week we cover my 10th birthday party where everyone dressed up like Hilary Duff. Except for Jenny, who came as Lara Croft because her parents let her watch PG-13 movies. Jealous! We also travel to Sweden in the dead of winter. Not jealous.  Follow @readitandbeep on Instagram for fun photos.