Ep. 43 - Hierarchy

On episode 45, Brian O'Neil and Coach Kay discuss polyamorous folx who have sexual orientation "preferences" for their partners, gender "preferences" for their potential metas, and the bi-phobia and bi-erasure that happens even within so-called, open-minded polyamorous communities.  Tune in to listen to us get real about this nonsense. 

Brian O'Neil & Coach Kay discuss the general consensus among the polyamorous community (ha!) about one-night stands. They answer questions such as: Would you be upset if your partner had one and told you about it afterwards? Do you expect to be able to have one without any drama from your partner(s)? What even qualifies as a one night stand? Have you ever had one? Can you enjoy casual sex and/or one night stands within polyamorous relationships?

On episode 43, Coach Kay and Brian O'Neil discuss prescriptive versus descriptive hierarchy, relationship anarchy, and a special form of hierarchy, SNEAKARCHY. 

In episode 42, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay talk nesting partnerships and the assumptions that come having or not having partners who you cohabitate with.

You arrive to a bar and see your polyam partner in an embrace with a stranger. Their arms around this person's neck. This person's arms around your polyam partner’s waist. Just a couple of inches between their faces. Clearly they are in a flirtatious moment. The question is, is this acceptable because you are polyamorous? Check out Episode 41 - PDA and Polyamory to hear @iamcoachkay and @iambrianoneil discuss the nuances of flirting, showing affection, and dating when you have other partners that may have feelings seeing you doing any of these things in front of them. #polyamorous #charlotte #podcast #polyamory #nonmonogamy #communication #flirting #unconventionalrelationships #healthyrelationships #selfdevelopment #ethicalnonmonogamy #relationships #relationshipstatus #health #dating #loveislove #queencitypoly

In episode 40, Brian O'Neil talks openly about being touched non-consensually following a recent standup gig after he talked about his polyamorous relationship style on stage. We sat down to talk about this experience as well as his experience sharing his story on Facebook.  Women are not immune to being the aggressor and perpetrator of sexual assault. Explicit, enthusiastic consent should be sought after throughout every interaction by the initiator of any and all sexual advances. But when that doesn’t happen, what can we do to communicate we do not consent in a way that feels comfortable in the moment?  #polyamorous #charlotte #podcast #consent #metoo #malesexualassault #standup #comedy #polyamory #nonmonogamy #communication #unconventionalrelationships #healthyrelationships #ethicalnonmonogamy #relationships #relationshipstatus #dating #loveislove #queencitypoly 

In episode 39 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay discuss examples of “seasoned” polyamorous people accommodating newly polyamorous partners with rules and agreements that threaten their own autonomy and do not serve their or their new partners needs.

In Episode 38, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay talk about Brian's internet friend who is exploring the idea of polyamory but does not know how to get through to her husband, who is not having any of it. But before they dive into responding to that difficult situation, they discuss the popular mantra, Growth Happens Outside Your Comfort Zone.

In Episode 37, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay discuss Mark Manson’s blog article titled, Fuck Yes or No. The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them. Check out Mar Manson’s blog for the full article and then tune into this week’s episode.

In Episode 36, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay talk about how communications preferences impact compatibility, including: requiring daily communication, feelings regarding small talk, preferred communication modes (face-to-face, text, phone), needs for intellectually stimulating conversations, sense of humor, passive versus direct communicators, and people who are either “too talkative” or “too quiet.” How does a partner’s communication style and/or their communication preferences factor into y’alls compatibility? Let us know!