285. Toxic Empathy: When Understanding Becomes an Excuse

Welcome to episode #291! 🎙️ Pure Victory Podcast: Stop Fighting Your Urges. Start Redirecting Your DesiresWhat if freedom from porn isn't primarily about getting better at suppressing your urges, but learning to redirect your desires toward something better?We can spend so much energy trying to resist temptation, manage our triggers, and rely on willpower that we lose sight of what really matters. Willpower has its place, but lasting transformation comes from making Jesus the focus of our lives.In this episode, we explore why simply trying harder isn't enough, what we're really longing for underneath our urges, and how redirecting our focus toward Jesus can lead to deeper, lasting freedom.Key TakeawaysWillpower has limits: Relying solely on self-control makes recovery dependent on our performance.Change your focus: Don't just focus on suppressing urges; focus on following Jesus.Look beneath the urges: Often we're longing for connection, acceptance, validation, and fulfillment.Replace the counterfeit: Porn promises satisfaction but cannot meet the deeper needs we're trying to fill.Pursue transformation: God wants to do more than change our behaviour; He wants to transform our hearts.Embrace community: Following Jesus also means allowing Him to lead us into honesty, vulnerability, and healthy relationships.Scriptural HighlightJohn 6:35 (NIV)"Then Jesus declared, 'I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.'"Jesus offers what we're ultimately longing for. Instead of spending all our energy fighting against something, we can redirect our desires toward the One who truly satisfies.Action StepsCheck your focus: Are you spending more energy trying not to look at porn than intentionally pursuing Jesus?Identify the deeper longing: When an urge hits, ask yourself what you might really be looking for. Connection? Comfort? Acceptance? Escape?Redirect your energy: Spend intentional time with Jesus through prayer, Scripture, and worship.Invite others in: Take a step toward honesty and authentic community. Don't try to navigate recovery alone.Pursue something better: Build a life filled with meaningful relationships, purpose, and a growing relationship with Christ.Remember: Freedom isn't simply about becoming someone who doesn't look at porn. It's about becoming someone whose life is increasingly shaped by Jesus. Let's stop being porn-focused and start being Jesus-focused.🎧 Subscribe to the Pure Victory Podcast!💙 Want to help others find freedom? Visit PureVictoryPodcast.com to support the mission.You are not alone—and freedom is possible.Ask a questionHave a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] this with your friendsWho do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.SubscribeSubscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Porn Recovery ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriageOnline marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code FLCANADA for 30 days freePure Freedom Community for men 18+Book a FREE call (men)Pure Freedom Journey for men and womenPodcast HostBRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He knows all too well the destruction that porn use and addiction can have, and now wants to see people experience freedom away from porn. Along with that he is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

Welcome to episode #290! 🎙️ Pure Victory Podcast: What's Fueling Your Porn Use? The Connection Between Loneliness & PornWhat if your porn use isn't just about sexual desire, but a deeper desire for connection that isn't being met?We're living in an increasingly disconnected world. Despite having more ways to communicate than ever, genuine relationships and meaningful connection can feel harder to find. In this episode, we explore how loneliness, cultural division, and growing mistrust between men and women can create fertile ground for pornography.Porn promises a counterfeit version of intimacy, offering stimulation without vulnerability and an experience without relationship. But rather than satisfying our desire for connection, it often leaves us more isolated.Key Takeaways:Loneliness can be a significant fuel behind porn use.Digital connection isn't the same as being genuinely known and loved.Cultural division, tribalism, and contempt can damage our ability to build healthy relationships.Porn offers an illusion of intimacy but ultimately reinforces isolation.Freedom isn't just about removing porn; it's about building a life filled with healthy relationships and meaningful connection.Scripture Highlight:John 17:20–23 – Jesus' prayer for unity among His followers. God's heart is for His people to live in love, unity, and genuine connection rather than division and isolation.Action Steps:Identify the fuel: Ask yourself whether loneliness, disconnection, or frustration with relationships might be contributing to your porn use.Audit your influences: Pay attention to the voices and online content you're consuming. Are they making you more loving and Christlike, or more cynical and divisive?Pursue real connection: Reach out to a friend, invest in your marriage, find a mentor, or get involved in a healthy community.Build something better: Don't just focus on what you're removing from your life. Focus on the healthy relationships and habits you're building in its place.Remember: Porn might offer an escape from loneliness, but it will never provide the genuine connection we're created for. You weren't designed to do life alone.🎧 Subscribe to the Pure Victory Podcast!💙 Want to help others find freedom? Visit PureVictoryPodcast.com to support the mission.You are not alone—and freedom is possible.Ask a questionHave a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] this with your friendsWho do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.SubscribeSubscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Porn Recovery ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriageOnline marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code FLCANADA for 30 days freePure Freedom Community for men 18+Book a FREE call (men)Pure Freedom Journey for men and womenPodcast HostBRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He knows all too well the destruction that porn use and addiction can have, and now wants to see people experience freedom away from porn. Along with that he is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

Welcome to episode #289! 🎙️ Pure Victory Podcast: The Battle of the Quick Fix: Why Porn Recovery Takes TimeWant to break free from porn? Stop looking for a quick fix.We live in a world of instant results, but lasting freedom doesn't happen overnight. In this episode, Braden explores why porn recovery is a journey of ongoing transformation, not a one-time breakthrough. Discover how God's grace, consistent obedience, accountability, and a life centered on Jesus help us move toward lasting freedom.🔑 Key TakeawaysFreedom takes time. Don't confuse the lack of immediate results with a lack of progress.Grace requires participation. We can't earn God's love, but we can actively engage in the transformation He's working in us.Don't quit too soon. Accountability, community, and healthy habits take time to develop and bear fruit.Sobriety isn't the finish line. The goal isn't simply a life without porn—it's a life increasingly centered on Jesus.📖 Scriptural HighlightPhilippians 2:12–13 — Work out your salvation, knowing that God is at work in you.God is the source of our transformation, and we're invited to participate in the work He's doing in us.✅ Action StepsCheck your mindset: Are you pursuing lasting transformation or just looking for a quick fix?Stay the course: Don't abandon healthy accountability, community, or recovery support just because progress feels slow.Take the next step: Identify one habit, relationship, or pattern you need to address as you pursue freedom.Keep Jesus at the center: Build a life around Him, not just a life where porn is absent.Remember: Don't just pursue a life without porn. Pursue a life increasingly full of Jesus.🎧 Subscribe to the Pure Victory Podcast!💙 Want to help others find freedom? Visit PureVictoryPodcast.com to support the mission.You are not alone—and freedom is possible.Ask a questionHave a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] this with your friendsWho do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.SubscribeSubscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Porn Recovery ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriageOnline marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code FLCANADA for 30 days freePure Freedom Community for men 18+Book a FREE call (men)Pure Freedom Journey for men and womenPodcast HostBRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He knows all too well the destruction that porn use and addiction can have, and now wants to see people experience freedom away from porn. Along with that he is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

Welcome to episode #288! 🎙️ Pure Victory Podcast: What Does It Mean to Expose Your Porn Addiction? Finding Freedom Through HonestyHiding keeps us stuck. Bringing our struggles into the light opens the door to freedom.Porn addiction thrives in secrecy, shame, and isolation. But what does it really mean to expose your sin? In this episode, we explore three essential steps toward freedom: confessing honestly to God, telling a trusted person the whole truth, and committing to healthy community. Discover why vague confessions and staggered disclosure can keep us trapped, and how God's grace, accountability, and meaningful relationships help us move toward lasting change.Key TakeawaysConfess to God: Stop hiding and receive His forgiveness and grace.Tell the whole truth: Move beyond vague language and partial confessions.Choose wisely: Find a trusted, mature person who offers both grace and truth.Commit to community: Address the patterns and blind spots behind your behavior, not just the behavior itself.Scriptural Highlight“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” — James 5:16 (NIV)Your Action StepsAsk yourself: Am I being completely honest with God?Identify one trusted person who can help you walk in the light.Take one step toward honest disclosure and ongoing recovery community.Remember: You don't have to fight alone. Freedom begins when you stop hiding and start walking in the light.Episode to learn how to properly disclose:83. Husbands: Here's What To Tell Your Wife 🎧 Subscribe to the Pure Victory Podcast!💙 Want to help others find freedom? Visit PureVictoryPodcast.com to support the mission.You are not alone—and freedom is possible.Ask a questionHave a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] this with your friendsWho do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.SubscribeSubscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Porn Recovery ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriageOnline marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code FLCANADA for 30 days freePure Freedom Community for men 18+Book a FREE call (men)Pure Freedom Journey for men and womenPodcast HostBRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He knows all too well the destruction that porn use and addiction can have, and now wants to see people experience freedom away from porn. Along with that he is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

Welcome to episode #287! 🎙️ Pure Victory Podcast: When Porn Comes Looking for YouPorn isn't just something people seek out anymore—it can show up when you least expect it. From social media algorithms to sexualized content online, today's digital world makes it easier than ever to be pulled toward pornography. So how do we protect our freedom in a world that constantly competes for our attention?In this episode, we explore how the digital landscape has changed, why young people are especially vulnerable, and how awareness, healthy boundaries, and real connection can help us stand firm.Key TakeawaysRecognize the new landscape: Porn can find you through content you never intended to watch.Understand the pull: Algorithms can gradually normalize sexualized content and keep you scrolling.Protect the next generation: Create safe spaces for honest conversations without shame or fear.Choose intentional boundaries: Be proactive about your digital habits and what shapes your heart.Prioritize real connection: Don't let digital stimulation replace connection with God and others.Scriptural Highlight“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)Action StepsReview your social media feed and unfollow accounts that pull you toward sexualized content.Set one practical boundary around your phone use this week.If you're a parent, start an age-appropriate conversation with your kids about online content and create a safe place for them to ask questions.Remember: You may not control everything that finds you, but you can choose what you welcome into your life.🎧 Subscribe to the Pure Victory Podcast!💙 Want to help others find freedom? Visit PureVictoryPodcast.com to support the mission.You are not alone—and freedom is possible.Ask a questionHave a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] this with your friendsWho do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.SubscribeSubscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Porn Recovery ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriageOnline marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code FLCANADA for 30 days freePure Freedom Community for men 18+Book a FREE call (men)Pure Freedom Journey for men and womenPodcast HostBRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He knows all too well the destruction that porn use and addiction can have, and now wants to see people experience freedom away from porn. Along with that he is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

Welcome to episode #286! 🎙️ Pure Victory Podcast: Cheap Grace: Is God’s Forgiveness Keeping You Stuck in Sin?What happens when we start using God’s grace as an excuse to stay stuck?In this episode, we unpack cheap grace vs. costly grace and what Romans 6 teaches us about following Jesus while battling sin. We look at Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Billy Graham’s encounter with Mickey Cohen, and a recent conversation involving OnlyFans creator Sophie Rain.The issue isn’t whether we struggle with sin—we all do. The question is: Are we fighting it, or have we started making peace with it?Key Takeaway: Grace doesn't give us permission to stay where we are. It invites us into a better life with Jesus.Scripture: Romans 6:1–2Action Step: Ask yourself, “What am I rationalizing or defending in my life—and what would surrender to Jesus look like today?”Don't confuse grace with permission. Run toward Jesus, not away from Him.🎧 Subscribe to the Pure Victory Podcast!💙 Want to help others find freedom? Visit PureVictoryPodcast.com to support the mission.You are not alone—and freedom is possible.Ask a questionHave a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] this with your friendsWho do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.SubscribeSubscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Porn Recovery ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriageOnline marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code FLCANADA for 30 days freePure Freedom Community for men 18+Book a FREE call (men)Pure Freedom Journey for men and womenPodcast HostBRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He knows all too well the destruction that porn use and addiction can have, and now wants to see people experience freedom away from porn. Along with that he is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

Welcome to episode #285! 🎙️ Pure Victory Podcast:Toxic Empathy: When Understanding Becomes an ExcuseUnderstanding our past can be an important part of healing—but what happens when understanding becomes an excuse?In this episode, we explore “toxic empathy” and how it can keep us stuck by excusing destructive choices rather than calling us toward responsibility. Whether it’s pornography, infidelity, or another destructive behavior, our past may help explain why we do what we do, but it doesn't remove our responsibility for what we choose today.At the same time, taking responsibility doesn't mean living in shame. There is a difference between saying “I did something wrong” and “there is something wrong with me.” True freedom brings those two realities together: truth about our actions and grace for who we are in Christ.Key TakeawaysUnderstanding your past can bring clarity, but it shouldn't become an excuse for your present choices.Empathy doesn't mean removing responsibility.Shame says, “Something is wrong with me.” Responsibility says, “What I did was wrong, and I'm willing to own it.”Healing often means facing the consequences of our choices rather than trying to avoid them.God's grace doesn't require us to pretend our actions weren't wrong—it allows us to bring them into the light and experience redemption.Scriptural HighlightJohn 8:36 — “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”Freedom isn't found by denying what we've done or allowing shame to define us. It's found by stepping into the light, taking ownership, receiving God's grace, and allowing Him to lead us toward change.Action Steps1. Understand your story.Ask: What experiences, wounds, or circumstances have contributed to where I am today?2. Take ownership.Ask: What do I need to own right now? Where have I made choices or crossed a line?3. Consider the impact.Ask: Who has my behavior hurt, and what responsibility do I have toward them?4. Step into the light.Instead of hiding behind shame or excuses, identify one person or one practical step that can help you move toward honesty, accountability, and freedom.🎧 Subscribe to the Pure Victory Podcast!💙 Want to help others find freedom? Visit PureVictoryPodcast.com to support the mission.You are not alone—and freedom is possible.Ask a questionHave a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] this with your friendsWho do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.SubscribeSubscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Porn Recovery ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriageOnline marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code FLCANADA for 30 days freePure Freedom Community for men 18+Book a FREE call (men)Pure Freedom Journey for men and womenPodcast HostBRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He knows all too well the destruction that porn use and addiction can have, and now wants to see people experience freedom away from porn. Along with that he is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

Welcome to episode #284! 🎙️ Pure Victory Podcast: Sobriety Isn’t Safety: Understanding Betrayal Trauma With Kristy RodriguezPorn addiction doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Its impact can reach deep into a marriage, family, and especially the heart of the person who has been betrayed.In this powerful conversation, we sit down with Kristy Rodriguez, Executive Director of Hope After Betrayal, to talk about betrayal trauma, rebuilding trust, the difference between sobriety and safety, and what genuine repentance actually looks like.Kristy shares her own story of discovering her husband's pornography addiction and affair, the devastation that followed, and how God slowly brought healing and redemption to her marriage and family.This conversation is heavy—but it’s also filled with hope. Your story is not beyond God's ability to redeem.Key TakeawaysBetrayal is trauma. Understanding the wound matters because the right wound requires the right kind of care.Sobriety isn't the same as safety. Stopping the behavior is important, but rebuilding trust requires becoming a person who consistently creates safety.Regret isn't repentance. Remorse feels bad about the wound; repentance begins picking up the bricks and rebuilding what was broken.The betrayed spouse is not responsible for fixing the addiction. You aren't the cause, and you can't be the cure.Forgiveness and healing aren't the same thing. Healing takes time, intentional work, truth, community, and often professional or ministry support.Don't walk through betrayal alone. Community can be a vital part of healing.God's redemption is bigger than our wreckage. What sin has damaged does not have to have the final word.Scripture Highlight“He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted...”— Isaiah 61:1God doesn't minimize our wounds. He meets us in them—and He is able to bring restoration where we thought there was only loss.Action StepsIf you're the betrayed spouse:Find safe, informed community instead of walking through this alone.Give yourself permission to heal rather than feeling pressured to “just get over it.”Focus on what you can control: your own healing, boundaries, and relationship with Jesus.Seek wise counsel when you're unsure what healthy boundaries should look like.If you've been the one causing the harm:Don't settle for simply stopping the behavior.Learn about betrayal trauma and understand the wound you've caused.Pursue genuine repentance, accountability, and deeper healing.Ask yourself: “Am I becoming a safer person, or am I simply becoming a more sober person?”For all of us:Bring your pain, questions, and brokenness to Jesus. Don't let what someone else has done—or what you've done yourself—become bigger than the redemptive power of God.Connect to Kristy and Hope after Betrayal:Hope after Betrayal🎧 Subscribe to the Pure Victory Podcast!💙 Want to help others find freedom? Visit PureVictoryPodcast.com to support the mission.You are not alone—and freedom is possible.Ask a questionHave a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] this with your friendsWho do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.SubscribeSubscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Porn Recovery ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriageOnline marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code FLCANADA for 30 days freePure Freedom Community for men 18+Book a FREE call (men)Pure Freedom Journey for men and womenPodcast HostBRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He knows all too well the destruction that porn use and addiction can have, and now wants to see people experience freedom away from porn. Along with that he is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

Welcome to episode #283! 🎙️ Pure Victory Podcast: Is Porn Use Always Linked to Trauma? Is porn addiction always rooted in trauma? Not necessarily.Porn can begin with curiosity, accidental exposure, or simply having easy access to something highly stimulating. But over time, it can become something we use to escape stress, loneliness, disappointment, rejection, or other difficult emotions.In this episode, we look at the difference between trauma being the cause of our porn use and porn becoming a coping mechanism for pain. We also explore what happens when we stop hiding and start asking honest questions about what’s really going on beneath the surface.Freedom isn’t just about running away from porn—it’s about learning to run toward something better.Key TakeawaysYou don't have to have experienced trauma to develop a struggle with porn.Porn can become a coping mechanism for difficult emotions and life circumstances.Temporary relief isn't the same as healing.Asking “What am I trying not to feel right now?” can reveal important patterns.Hiding creates distance from God, others, and even ourselves.Bringing what we're experiencing into the light is an important part of freedom.Your story may contain pain or trauma, but it doesn't have to define your future.True freedom is about more than stopping a behavior—it's about learning to live differently and moving toward Jesus.Scriptural HighlightGenesis 3:9 — “Where are you?”God already knew where Adam and Eve were, but His question invited them out of hiding and into honesty.Sometimes we need to ask ourselves the same question:Where am I emotionally? Where am I spiritually? What am I hiding?Action StepsLook at what happens before the behavior. What were you feeling or experiencing right before you turned to porn?Ask the deeper question: “What am I trying not to feel right now?”Name the pattern without shame. Understanding your triggers isn't about beating yourself up—it's about becoming aware.Bring it into the light. Talk to God and, when appropriate, a trusted person, spouse, mentor, or counsellor.Run toward something better. Don't just focus on getting away from porn; focus on growing in connection with God, others, and yourself.🎧 Subscribe to the Pure Victory Podcast!💙 Want to help others find freedom? Visit PureVictoryPodcast.com to support the mission.You are not alone—and freedom is possible.Ask a questionHave a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] this with your friendsWho do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.SubscribeSubscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Porn Recovery ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriageOnline marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code FLCANADA for 30 days freePure Freedom Community for men 18+Book a FREE call (men)Pure Freedom Journey for men and womenPodcast HostBRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He knows all too well the destruction that porn use and addiction can have, and now wants to see people experience freedom away from porn. Along with that he is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

Welcome to episode #282! When Both Spouses Have a Story: Finding Hope After Sexual Brokenness With RJ and Melissa WhaleyWhat happens when both spouses bring sexual brokenness into a marriage? RJ and Melissa Whaley join us to share their incredibly honest story of pornography, betrayal, recovery, rebuilding trust, and discovering that God can use even the hardest parts of our story for His glory.Their journey is a powerful reminder that recovery isn't simply about stopping a behavior. It's about learning to become healthier people, rebuilding connection, taking responsibility for our own choices, and creating a new path for our marriages and families.Most importantly, your story doesn't have to end where your struggle began.Key TakeawaysMarriage doesn't automatically fix sexual brokenness—healing requires intentional work.Your pain matters, but you are also responsible for how you respond to it.Recovery isn't just about sobriety; it's about rebuilding the relationship.Trust is rebuilt through honesty, consistency, and actions that match our words.Look for the small wins—or "glimmers"—that show you are moving in a healthier direction.You can't change your spouse, but you can change how you show up.You don't have to walk this journey alone. Authentic community can make all the difference.Scripture Highlight“Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.” — Joshua 24:15We have a choice in how we respond, how we show up, and what direction we take. We may not be able to control everything around us, but we can choose the next right step.Action StepsTake responsibility for your yard. Ask: What is mine to own in this situation?Look for a glimmer. Identify one area where you or your relationship is doing better than before.Choose one small change. Don't try to fix everything at once. What is one healthy step you can consistently take this week?Find community. Don't keep sexual struggles, pain, or recovery isolated. Find someone safe who can walk with you.Remember: You don't have to change perfectly. You just have to keep choosing differently—and keep moving toward Jesus.Connect to the Whaley's:Instagram: The Trail Blazing LifeRJ and Melissa's Website🎧 Subscribe to the Pure Victory Podcast!💙 Want to help others find freedom? Visit PureVictoryPodcast.com to support the mission.You are not alone—and freedom is possible.Ask a questionHave a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] this with your friendsWho do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.SubscribeSubscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Porn Recovery ResourcesFamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriageOnline marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code FLCANADA for 30 days freePure Freedom Community for men 18+Book a FREE call (men)Pure Freedom Journey for men and womenPodcast HostBRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He knows all too well the destruction that porn use and addiction can have, and now wants to see people experience freedom away from porn. Along with that he is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com