288: Why Being Hard On Yourself Isn't Discipline, It's Self-Sabotage with Loz Antonenko

You told yourself to calm down. You told yourself to stop overreacting. And somehow the feeling only got bigger.In this episode, we talk with Dr. Suzanne Wallach, licensed psychotherapist and founder and executive director of SoCal DBT, about what happens when emotions feel too big to handle. With her candor and humor, Suzanne shares honest moments from her own life, including the ones where she’s the one who gets overwhelmed.Together, we sit with the questions behind the reaction. What’s actually happening inside you when a feeling takes over? Why do so many of us feel we have to get louder just to be heard? And what if the goal was never to feel less?Episode Resources✨ Download my 99 Self-Love Journal Prompts: simple questions to help you slow down, hear yourself more clearly, and reconnect with what you need, one page at a time.In this episode, we explore:✨ What’s really happening inside you when emotions feel too big✨ Why so many of us feel we have to get louder to be heard✨ What the emotional climate we grew up in can leave behind✨ What it looks like to parent a child who feels everything intensely✨ The question Dr. Suzanne asks herself when a conversation starts to heat upIf you’ve ever said something you couldn’t take back, or felt a feeling take over before you could decide how to respond, this conversation may change what you think emotional regulation really means.Connect with Dr. Suzanne🌐 www.socaldbt.com🌐 www.suzannewallach.com📸 @drsuzannewallachConnect with Me🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamalIG @sanaiyahgurnamal Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There's the life you pictured, and then there's the one you're actually living. What happens in the space between them?In this episode, we talk with Dr. Molly Burrets, licensed clinical psychologist and couples therapist with 20 years of experience in relationships and women's mental health, about what happens when life stops following the plan. Drawing on her work with women and couples, and on her own story, Dr. Molly opens up about the parts of this experience that so many of us carry quietly.Together, we sit with the questions that surface when the future you imagined starts to look different. Who are you when the plan falls apart? How do you stay close to the people you love when you're hurting in different ways? And what do you do with a dream you're not sure you can let go of?Episode Resources✨ Download my 99 Self-Love Journal Prompts: simple questions to help you slow down, hear yourself more clearly, and reconnect with what you need, one page at a time.In this episode, we explore:✨ What happens to your sense of self when the life you planned doesn't arrive✨ The one question Dr. Molly asks before letting go of a dream✨ Why two people who love each other can grieve the same loss so differently✨ The conversations around infertility that so many women are left to face alone✨ What Dr. Molly discovered at the lowest point of her lifeIf you've ever grieved a life you thought you'd have, or wondered who you became when the plan changed, this conversation may meet you right where you are.Connect with Dr. Molly🌐 www.drmollyburrets.com📸 @drmollyburrets🎙️ Kissing Frogs PodcastConnect with Me🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamalIG @sanaiyahgurnamal Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

That voice in your head that says you could have done better, should have worked harder, and it's still not enough? You've probably called it motivation for years. Maybe even discipline.In this episode, we talk with Loz Antonenko, well-being coach, speaker, and bestselling author of Get the Fuck Unstuck, about the voice so many high-achieving women rely on to keep moving forward, and what it might actually be costing them. With her unfiltered honesty and humor, Loz opens up about her own experience of looking like she had it all together on the outside while something very different was happening underneath.Together, we explore the tension between ambition and self-respect, what happens when the drive that built your success starts to feel like pressure, and the strange, unfamiliar space that opens up when you finally stop pushing. We also talk about the difference between the voice that pushes you forward and the voice that quietly wears you down, and why it can be so hard to tell them apart.Episode Resources✨ Work with Loz: Get Your Mojo Back in 12 Weeks is a personalised online coaching program for busy women who feel stuck with their energy, weight, and confidence, built around simple habits that fit real life.✨ Download my Self-Love Cheat Sheet: simple, practical reminders to help you replace self-judgment with self-respect and build a more loving relationship with yourself, one small choice at a time.In this episode, we explore:✨ Why so many of us confuse self-criticism with discipline✨ Where the voice in your head might have come from✨ What can be hiding behind a life that looks successful from the outside✨ Why slowing down can feel so uncomfortable for high-achieving women✨ What it means when self-love is something you do, not something you feelIf you've ever wondered whether the voice pushing you forward is also the one holding you back, this conversation may change how you hear it.Connect with Loz🌐 www.lozlife.comIG @lozantonenko▶️ Loz LifeConnect with Me🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamalIG @sanaiyahgurnamal Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Anxiety can make you question things you once felt certain about. Your decisions. Your relationships. Your confidence. Even the person you believe yourself to be.In this episode, we talk with Kelsey Darragh, bestselling author, comedian, filmmaker, and mental health advocate, about what happens when anxiety starts changing the way you see yourself. With her trademark honesty and humor, Kelsey opens up about living with anxiety and panic disorder, and the unexpected ways it can show up in confidence, relationships, and everyday life. Together, we explore the complicated relationship between anxiety, self-trust, and self-love, including what happens when the feelings you thought you had under control suddenly return in a different part of your life. We also get into the connection between anxiety and relationships, especially during moments of uncertainty, rupture, and change. Episode Resources✨ Download my Chaos to Calm Guide — practical tools to help you regulate your emotions, calm your nervous system, and reconnect with yourself when life feels overwhelming. In this episode, we explore:✨ Why anxiety can make you question who you are✨ What happens when anxiety shows up in your relationships✨ The connection between anxiety, self-trust, and self-abandonment✨ Why high-achieving women can become so good at hiding what they're experiencing✨ What it might look like to relate to anxiety differentlyIf anxiety has ever made you question your confidence, your choices, or even your own identity, this conversation may help you see what you're experiencing from a completely different perspective.Connect with Kelsey🌐 www.kelseydarragh.com📸 @kelseydarragh📚 Don't Do What I DidConnect with Me🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamalIG @sanaiyahgurnamal Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most of us have become incredibly good at avoiding ourselves. We stay busy, keep achieving, solve everyone else's problems, or find something to distract us when uncomfortable feelings come up. But what if the moments we most want to escape are actually asking us to slow down and pay attention?In this episode, we talk with Allana Pratt, emotional intimacy expert, bestselling author, and host of Intimate Conversations, about a self-love skill many of us were never taught: staying emotionally present with ourselves. Together, we explore what it really means to make intimacy an inside job and why the relationship we have with ourselves can change the way we experience connection with others.We talk about the emotions we avoid, the parts of ourselves we may have learned to reject, and what happens when we stop immediately trying to fix, suppress, or outrun what we're feeling. This conversation invites a deeper question: What might become possible if you stopped abandoning yourself when life gets uncomfortable?Episode Resources✨ Get Allana's FREE Top 5 Mistakes — discover the relationship mistakes that may be getting in the way of deeper intimacy and connection. Get the Free Resource✨ Download my 99 Self-Love Journal Prompts — prompts to help you slow down, reflect more deeply, and reconnect with yourself.In this episode, we explore:✨ What it really means to make intimacy an inside job✨ Why we can become so disconnected from our own emotions✨ Why vulnerability can feel so uncomfortable✨ The connection between emotional presence and deeper relationships✨ A question that may change the way you relate to yourselfIf you've become used to pushing through difficult emotions or keeping yourself busy whenever life feels uncomfortable, this conversation may make you pause and ask yourself a different question: What happens when you finally stay?Connect with Allana🌐 www.allanapratt.com📸 Instagram: @allanapratt🎙️ Podcast: Intimate ConversationsConnect with Me🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamalIG @sanaiyahgurnamal Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A breakup doesn't just end a relationship. Sometimes it changes your entire sense of who you are. The weekends feel empty. You miss the person, question your worth, and wonder how you're supposed to build a life that suddenly looks completely different.In this episode, we talk with Janice Formichella, Breakup Coach and host of Breakups, Broken Hearts, and Moving On, about dealing with what happens after a breakup and why healing is about so much more than getting over your ex. She shares how “breakup brain” can affect our thoughts, routines, and emotions, and why we have more power over the healing process than we realize.Together, we explore how to navigate the loneliness and empty space that comes after a relationship, what to do about maintaining contact, and how to rebuild your identity when so much of your life was built around someone else. Most importantly, we unpack how a breakup can become the beginning of a powerful new chapter when you choose to engage with your healing instead of simply waiting for time to 'heal.'Episode Resources✨ Get Janice's FREE Breakup Brain eBook — a science-backed toolkit to understand what your brain and body go through after a breakup and learn how to navigate this difficult time. ✨ Take the Love Blocks Quiz — discover the relationship pattern that may be keeping you stuck in the same cycles and understand what could be getting in the way of creating the healthy love you want.In this episode, we explore:✨ Why a breakup can feel like an identity crisis, not just the loss of a relationship✨ What “breakup brain” is and why your body and mind can feel completely out of sorts✨ What can help you take back control of your healing✨ How to navigate the loneliness and “white space” after a breakup✨ The difference between being alone and feeling lonely✨ How to rebuild your life and become your own best company✨ The six-months-from-now exercise that can change the way you heal✨ How to transform a breakup into the beginning of a powerful new chapterIf you're struggling to let go, questioning your worth, or wondering who you are without the relationship, this conversation is a reminder that the end of a relationship doesn't have to be the end of your story. You can grieve what was, acknowledge what happened, and still choose to create something completely different for yourself.Connect with Janice🌐 janiceformichella.com📸 Instagram: @janiceformichellaConnect with Me🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamalIG @sanaiyahgurnamal Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most of us don't wake up one day and decide to run from ourselves. We learn to through pain, fear, and sometimes simply to survive. And over time, that escape can take many forms: another drink, another achievement, another scroll, another relationship, another reason to stay busy.In this episode, we talk with Shannan Kym, an internationally award-winning author, TEDx speaker, and transformational mentor, about the ways we escape ourselves and what we're really running from. Drawing from her own experience with childhood abuse, alcoholism, and an unhealthy relationship, Shannan shares how facing the parts of ourselves we've been avoiding can become the beginning of real change.Together, we explore why temporary relief isn't the same as healing, how stillness can reveal the patterns we've been trying to escape, and why awareness is the first step toward creating a different life. We also unpack identity, self-trust, and what it means to stop running from your pain and start becoming the person you truly want to be.Episode Resources✨ Grab Shannan's Self-Discovery Workbook — a resource to help you unravel your past, reconnect with the present, and create a brighter future. Valued at $500. Download the FREE Workbook✨ Download my Self-Love Cheat Sheet — a simple, practical guide to help you reconnect with yourself, break self-sabotaging patterns, and start choosing yourself every day.In this episode, we explore:✨ Why we turn to distraction, achievement, and unhealthy habits to escape pain✨ How the patterns we develop in childhood can shape the lives we create as adults✨ Why stillness can bring the emotions and limiting beliefs we've been avoiding to the surface✨ The difference between temporarily feeling better and actually becoming better✨ How knowing what you want can be the beginning of changing your life✨ Why your identity is something you can consciously create and embodyIf you've been using busyness, achievement, relationships, or other coping mechanisms to avoid what you're really feeling, this conversation is a reminder that you don't have to spend your life running from yourself. Sometimes, the beginning of change is simply becoming aware of what you don't want, getting honest about what you do want, and choosing to face what's been waiting underneath.Connect with Shannan🌐 www.shannankym.comIG: @shannankymConnect with Me🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamalIG @sanaiyahgurnamal Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We spend so much of our lives rushing from one thing to the next that we forget what it feels like to simply be here. Thinking about what happened. Worrying about what’s coming. Checking our phones, answering messages, carrying a hundred things at once.And eventually we feel it — stressed, anxious, and strangely disconnected from ourselves.In this episode I talk with Rev. Connie L. Habash, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Awakening from Anxiety, about how time in nature cancalm your nervous system and bring you back into your body.Together we explore how nature slows you down, quiets the noise you’ve stopped noticing, and becomes a practice you’ll actually keep.Episode Resources✨ Download Rev. Connie's The Gift of Calm — a simple resource to help you create more calm, regulate overwhelm, and reconnect with a sense of inner peace.✨ Grab my Chaos to Calm guide — simple, practical tools to help you reset emotionally, quiet the overwhelm, and come back to yourself when everything feels like too much.In this episode:✨ Why stress and overwhelm are often signs you've disconnected from yourself✨ How nature pulls you out of your head and back into the present✨ Why slowing down feels so uncomfortable when you're used to constant stimulation✨ The simple daily practice Connie uses to reconnect with your senses✨ What nature teaches about being, instead of constantly doingIf you've been feeling overwhelmed, or like you're moving through life on autopilot, this conversation is a reminder that feeling better doesn't always take more effort. Sometimes it starts with stepping outside.Connect with Connie📸 Instagram: @conniehabash🌐 Website: awakeningself.comConnect with Me🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamalIG @sanaiyahgurnamal Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There comes a point when achieving more stops answering the questions you thought it would. You can have the career, the goals, the relationships, and a life that looks good from the outside… and still wonder, “Is this actually what I want?”In this episode, we talk with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby — psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified coach, founder of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching, and host of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast. We unpack why external success doesn’t always change how we feel on the inside, and why constantly chasing the next milestone can leave us disconnected from who we actually are.Together, we explore what it really means to know yourself beyond your achievements, roles, and other people’s expectations. From understanding your personality and values to paying attention to what you genuinely enjoy, need, and want, this conversation looks at why knowing yourself may be one of the most important parts of creating relationships, success, and a life that actually fits you.Episode Resources✨ Download the Success Blocks Checklist — uncover the hidden patterns around self-worth, achievement, and success that may be keeping you from fully enjoying the life you’ve worked so hard to create.In this episode, we explore:✨ Why reaching the next milestone doesn’t always make you feel the way you expected✨ How external validation can become tied to your sense of self-worth✨ Why knowing your personality, preferences, and values matters more than you think✨ What happens when the life you’re living doesn’t match who you really are✨ How understanding yourself can improve the way you relate to other people✨ Why self-exploration needs to go beyond awareness and into how you actually liveIf you’ve built a life that looks successful but still find yourself wondering why it doesn’t feel as fulfilling as you thought it would, this conversation will help you ask a different question: "How well do you actually know the person you’ve been building all of this for?"Connect with Dr. Lisa 🎙️ Podcast: Love, Happiness and SuccessIG: @drlisamariebobbyConnect with Me🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamalIG @sanaiyahgurnamal Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can meet someone who is consistent, available, and genuinely good to you… and still find yourself wondering why you don’t feel the same spark. Then someone else gives you mixed signals, keeps you guessing, or stays just out of reach and suddenly, you can’t stop thinking about them.In this episode, we explore why the person who gives you the love you say you want can sometimes feel “boring,” while the person you have to chase feels exciting. We explore how what you experienced growing up can shape what you recognize as love as an adult and why you may keep finding yourself drawn to relationships where you have to work for someone’s attention.Through personal stories, coaching insights, and a simple question to ask yourself when you feel the urge to pull away, we look at what may really be behind that restlessness and how to tell whether you genuinely don’t want someone or you’re simply not used to love being this easy.Episode Resources✨ Book a Make It Make Sense Call — if you know there’s a pattern in your relationships but can’t quite see where it comes from, this call will help you connect the dots and understand what keeps repeating.In this episode, we explore:✨ Why emotionally unavailable people can feel more exciting than available ones✨ How childhood experiences shape what we learn to expect from love✨ Why having to earn someone’s attention can feel like chemistry✨ What may be happening when a good relationship suddenly feels “boring”✨ How the same role you played growing up can follow you into adult relationships✨ The one question to ask yourself before walking away from someone who treats you wellIf you keep losing interest when someone is consistent but becoming attached when someone keeps you guessing, this episode will help you look at that pattern differently and understand what you may actually be chasing when you think you’re chasing love.Connect with Me🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamalIG @sanaiyahgurnamal Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.