What Does It Mean to Push Accountability? | Episode 255

Life can be full of uncertainty. Whether it’s moving to a new city, starting a new job, or walking through a difficult time, we don’t always know how things will work out in the end. When that happens, we can feel frozen by fear and unsure of what our next step should be.Thankfully, my friend Katie Reid knows what it’s like to face uncertainty and has some helpful encouragement for us. Katie is a Bible teacher, author, podcaster, pastor’s wife, worship leader, and mom. She recently released her latest book, God, What Do I Do?: A Bible Study on Judges 1–5 About Making Wise Decisions in Uncertain Times.Katie has said that some of the best decisions she’s ever made include following Jesus, marrying her husband, and becoming a mom to five kids. She brings such a steady, grace-filled voice into conversations like this one.In this episode, you’ll hear:How to get unstuck in your decision-makingSix decisions you can make even when the future feels unclearWhere to turn when you are facing hard circumstancesAnd more!Katie is a dear friend, and it’s always a joy to have her share her wisdom on the podcast.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/katie-reid-256Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

We’re back for another special conversation, this time about the topic of accountability. When most people think of accountability, they imagine someone asking them tough questions—almost like it’s a police interrogation and they’re in the hot seat. The problem with that mindset is, if the other person doesn’t ask us the “right” questions, then we think we’re off the hook. We don’t have to offer up anything we don’t want to share.That’s how we viewed accountability before walking through our marriage crisis. But once trust was broken, we realized we needed something different. Something stronger. Rather than seeing accountability as someone else’s job, we began to view it as something we take responsibility for. We started to “push accountability.”What that looks like in real life is this: the person who is holding themselves accountable takes the lead. They offer up the information their spouse needs in order to feel safe. It’s not about being monitored. It’s about choosing to be known, and choosing to help rebuild trust one honest conversation at a time.In this episode, you’ll hear:What it means to open up your life to accountabilityParameters for pushing accountability wellWays to offer reassurance and rebuild trust once it has brokenAnd more!We hope this skill is as beneficial for your relationship as it has been in our marriage!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/push-accountability-255Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Whether you are experiencing a prolonged period of stress or just having a bad day, everyone experiences times of emotional strain. Our jobs can often overwhelm us with pressure-filled deadlines. Our family budget may be tight, which causes us to worry about making ends meet. Sometimes, our family relationships are tense and filled with conflict—whether that be with our spouse or extended family.There are so many things in life that can be the source of our stress. Although stress may be unavoidable, I want you to know that we don’t have to get stuck in a cycle of never-ending worry. That’s why I’ve asked my friend, Barb Roose, to join me for a conversation about how the Bible can lead us to be stronger than stress.Barb is a speaker and an author who is passionate about equipping women to be strong and courageous so that they can experience God’s great adventure of faith and purpose for their lives. She has authored eight Bible studies and five books, including Stronger Than Stress: 10 Spiritual Practices to Win the Battle of Overwhelm.In this episode, you’ll hear:The surprising effects stress can have on our livesHow to take your stress to GodA helpful practice called “Hands up, Hands down”And more!Barb has been a dear friend to me through the years, and it’s always a pleasure to hear her insights and wisdom.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/barb-roose-254Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

If you’re listening on the day this releases, then tomorrow (6/25/2025) is our 42nd wedding anniversary! We can’t believe that it’s already been more than four decades since we walked down the aisle to say our “I do’s”. Would you believe that our first big argument occurred on our honeymoon? We had a lot of good times in those early years, but they were also the beginning of some recurring conflicts and struggles for us. As we reflect back on 42 years of marriage, one of the things that has made a big difference in the health of our relationship is learning how to make requests instead of hoping, wishing, or hinting at what we wanted or needed. In today’s conversation, we are discussing why this was a game-changer and how you can incorporate this practice into your own marriage. In this episode, you’ll learn about:The importance of discovering your needsHow hinting and hoping can damage your marriageHow unexpressed expectations build resentmentAnd more!We hope this skill is as beneficial for your relationship as it has been in our marriage!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/hint-hope-253Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

An estimated 100 million people in the United States have some sort of “step” relationship. This could be a stepchild, a stepparent, or even a stepsibling. These relationships are often part of what’s known as a “blended” family, where individuals come together from previous relationships to form a new, unique family unit.Blended families face many challenges and difficulties that other families don’t necessarily have to navigate. They have to build new relationships within the parent-child and sibling dynamics that have already been established. It can feel awkward at times, and kids may even struggle with feeling like their stepparent is trying to replace or force a bond.While we don’t have personal experience on this topic, our guests do—and they are here to share their wisdom with us. Paul and Jeannette Savage are a Colorado-based couple with a blended family of five adult children and five grandchildren. Together, they authored Blended: Navigating the Challenges and Joys of a Stepfamily.In this episode, you’ll hear:Common challenges blended families faceThe importance of avoiding defensivenessHow to preserve the original parent-child bondAnd more!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/paul-jeannette-savage-252Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

We are doing another episode to answer your questions! Last time we did this, a listener asked to hear more about “Jill 1.0”. For this conversation, we have received a question for Mark! Here’s the message that came in via email:Dear Mark, I listen to every episode that you and Jill put out there. In one of the episodes, you described a “chaos” going on inside your brain and how you’ve experienced healing from it. I want that more than anything.The chaos in my brain seems insurmountable. I can’t believe it could ever change because it has been a part of me for my entire life. You did an episode about how Jill moved from the 1.0 version of herself to the 2.0 version, but I need to hear how Mark went from 1.0 to 2.0. Thank you so much for submitting this question! We know how overwhelming it can feel to struggle with inner turmoil, and we’re so happy that you reached out for guidance. Over the years, as we’ve been publicly sharing our story, we’ve taken a lot of time to consider the core elements that helped us move from the old 1.0 versions of ourselves to the new 2.0 versions—and we’re here to share some of our insights with you. In this episode, you’ll learn about:The acronym Mark uses to describe the chaosHow to retrain your thoughtsThe importance of making requestsAnd more!We hope this conversation is helpful for anyone struggling to understand their brain or who needs to hear that there is hope.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/old-version-mark-251Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

If you’re familiar with the journey Mark and I have walked together, then you know that I spent a year “standing for my marriage” while Mark had an affair and separated. (You can explore more about our story here.) It was the darkest season of my life—and also the season that produced the most personal, emotional, and spiritual growth I’ve ever experienced.My guest for this conversation has a similar story. Jason Carver is a pastor and the founder of Standing Supernaturally For Marriage Restoration Ministry. He has served in various pastoral roles in the church for over 35 years and is also a Certified Christian Counselor through the National Association of Christian Counselors.Whether you are currently separated, in the midst of a divorce, or praying for restoration after divorce, we want you to know that God can do an amazing work in your personal life and relationship.In this episode, you’ll hear:How God can resurrect dead thingsThe importance of maintaining hopePractical steps to stand for your marriageAnd more!I am so grateful to bring you even more stories of marriages that have been restored.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/jason-carver-250Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Over the years, we’ve had our fair share of expectations that ended in disappointment—sometimes around big moments like birthdays, and other times over something as simple as how we spend a Saturday.It’s taken us a while to discover that what caused many of these conflicts was a lack of proactive communication, or as we like to say, a failure to “push information.” Pushing information is simply taking the time to communicate in advance your current hopes and desires (or even how you are used to doing things in the past).Pushing information to your spouse may take some time and effort upfront, but we know from experience what a valuable tool this strategy can be in avoiding unnecessary arguments and hurt.In this episode, you’ll learn about:The importance of comparing your “normals”Why proactive communication is key for healthy relationshipsPractical tips for being clear with your expectationsAnd more!This has been such a helpful tool that we’ve used in coaching and in our marriage! We hope it helps you turn confusion and disappointment into clarity and contentment.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/proactive-communication-249Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Every marriage is an ongoing story with its own highs and lows, joys and difficulties. Depending on which season we are in, we may start to see marriage as the best thing that has ever happened to us or the source of our angst. If you’ve been following our journey for a while, you know that my husband Mark and I share openly about the struggles as well as the victories in our marriage. God has used every obstacle we’ve encountered to grow us in so many ways.The truth we hope you walk away with today is that marriage is actually our ultimate invitation to grow.  If we allow it, God will use our marriage to shape us into someone who is deeper, healthier, and more rooted in Christ. Our guest believes wholeheartedly that if we are willing to examine the stories of our past that are influencing the present, we can write a new story for the future.Dr. Dan Allender has a long history in the therapy world. As the author of over two dozen books and the founder of The Allender Center, he believes that true healing and restoration occur when we courageously step into our stories of pain.In this episode, you’ll hear:The value of vulnerably stepping into each other’s pastsWhy it’s important to disrupt destructive patternsOne of the key factors to resolve any conflictAnd more!These principles have proven so beneficial in our marriage. We hope this conversation helps you write a new story for your own relationships.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/dan-allender-248Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

©2025 FamilyLife. All Rights Reserved. Used with permission.If we’re being completely honest, many of us enter into marriage with stars in our eyes and the hope that our spouse will live up to our every expectation. Isn’t it funny how we can spend months preparing every last detail for our marriage ceremony—yet we spend little, if any, time preparing our mindsets for what our marriage will actually look like in practice?That reality often shows up fast—like the moment you realize the person you just vowed forever to puts the toilet paper on the roll backward! No matter how big or small they may be, unmet expectations can cause conflict, disappointment, and frustrations to develop in your marriage and other relationships.Today, we have the honor of sharing a special episode with you. Earlier this year, Mark and I did a workshop on managing expectations in marriage for the FamilyLife Love Like You Mean It Cruise (which we highly recommend!). With their permission, we wanted to share it with you as well.While this message was created for married couples, the reality is that all of us need to manage our expectations better. After all, they can impact all areas of our lives—from our kids, to our extended family, and even our friendships.In this episode, you’ll learn about:Four types of expectationsWhere unrealistic expectations come fromHow we use cats and dogs to describe attachment stylesAnd more!Understanding how expectations may be showing up in your relationships can help you avoid dynamics that contribute to discontentment, disappointment, and more. We hope you enjoy this special episode—recorded in front of a live audience!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/managing-expectations-247Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...