Ep. 7: The Sacramento Kings

☀️NO LOOK is taking its listeners to sunny Los Angeles☀️, but, no, not to the dreamy magic of the Lakers. It’s time to talk about the Los Angeles Clippers. First of all: do you know what a clipper is? I bet you don’t! Anyway! Friend, foe? Laura and Sarah are decidedly meh, whatever, and okay about Clippers Nations. Steve Ballmer haters unite! Blake Griffin lovers, this one's for you! Remember when Kawhi Leonard left the Toronto Raptors after one season, bound for the Clippers, in search of his next championship win??? He’s still waiting! James Harden check: how is the vet’s late career tour with the Clippers going to impact his legacy? Probably not as much as his love of furry pants. Mascot check? YET ANOTHER BIRD. NBA boyfriend check? One man who looks a good Smoothie King smoothie, another man who L I V E S for Pokémon. Podcast logo by @drakecereal Podcast music by @kritowski Follow on Instagram @no_look_podcast 🏀

Admit it: there are a LOT of teams in the NBA that give you the ick, and sometimes you’re not sure why, and others you absolutely know deep in your soul they’re garbage to you. Therefore, the NO LOOK pod presents this special Garbage Minutes episode featuring the Charlotte Hornets, Orlando Magic, Memphis Grizzlies, and Houston Rockets. (Please clap that the gals made it through this speed round of teams unscathed.) It’s not like these are TERRIBLE teams (except for the Hornets, not budging on that.) They simply don't have that je ne sais quoi about them. Not good, not bad, just… blegh. This episode is all over the place: Love Is Blind season six in Charlotte, North Carolina; why Disney adults are the worst; road tripping across America; why is the Memphis Grizzlies mascot so… fuckable?; Dillon Brooks as THEE personification of the Square One bus terminal; and why Clutch is maybe the best mascot in the league but on the worst team for him. IT’S GARBAGE MINUTES, BABY. News around the league? NO TIME. NBA boyfriend of the week? SNUCK IT IN AT THE END. Podcast logo by @drakecereal Podcast music by @kritowski Follow on Instagram @no_look_podcast 🏀

Hi hi hi hi, did you miss NO LOOK podcast?! The gals took an extra long All-Star break to discover the joy and magic of Savannah, Georgia (Laura) and Tony Soprano (Sarah.) But this week, the pod is back and it’s Chicago Bulls week. No, they didn’t do a Last Dance rewatch, but enough of the content, memes, and Michael Jordan’s general MJ-ness are burned into their brains forever. Learn about Sarah’s basketball origin story, why Laura is meh on this team overall, who’s the Scottie Pippen and who’s the Dennis Rodman (this one is EASY), and, oh yes, not one single word was spoken about Steve Kerr save for this sentence. Honestly, one of the best, buzziest, fizziest episodes to date. This episode feels like popping a bottle of nice Cava and watching the sunset with your best buds. 🍾 News check? All-Star weekend! Why is Damian Lillard in a prison of his own making with Dame Time? 🙅 Jaylen Brown is on the shit-list. 🙅The dunk contest needs more than Mac McClung. And who would write the best essay about what basketball means to them? NBA boyfriend check? Sarah asks Laura for permission for Klay Thompson, and Laura sees Paolo Banchero in a new light. Podcast logo by @drakecereal Podcast music by @kritowski Follow on Instagram @no_look_podcast 🏀

Happy Valentine’s Day! On this episode of NO LOOK, Laura and Sarah go to San Antone! (That’s how you say it and spell it, right? Pretend you’re hearing it in a sexy, scruffy Texan drawl.) The San Antonio Spurs seem chill as hell and so is this episode. Learn about the Coyote in probably the most comprehensive mascot check of the season so far. Hear about why Gregg Popovich rules and also why there’s no Kawhi Leonard on this ep. (Spoiler: Kawhi’s a Clipper now, duh.) News check? Trade SZN, baby! Ew, Gordon Hayward on OKC? Narc. Welcome home, Kelly Olynyk! 🇨🇦 Also, is Klay Thompson going through an existential crisis? A No Look first: a dramatic interview re-enactment. NBA boyfriend check? Raptors themed, sorry. You’ll just have to deal with it. Podcast logo by @drakecereal Podcast music by @kritowski Follow on Instagram @no_look_podcast 🏀

Welcome to this eighth, meaty episode of NO LOOK. The episode with beautiful audio, beautiful chats, and beautiful vibes about a team that could be bland as hell but isn’t: the Indiana Pacers. Laura and Sarah wax poetic about this mid-east, sorta-southern team. What’s a pacer? (It’s a car thing, if you didn’t know, which they didn’t.) Why do Laura and Sarah love this team so much? Why does Sarah start her day with mic’d up TJ McConnell videos on YouTube? Tyrese Haliburton is the mature, fashionable 23-year-old of anyone’s dreams. Pascal Siakam, a dream, a gift, hopefully happier now in Indy. News check? It’s a long one: rating each and every one of the All-Star reserves, with alternates for Julius Randle and Joel Embiid. (Spoiler: a couple of them ended up happening!! 🔮) NBA boyfriend check? NO LOOK’s first two-time winner and so deserving! A chic as all hell dude who knows how to wear a Prada coat. And saying farewell to a real man, a Spanish dreamboat, a Joel Embiid stopper, a man-of-the-earth-tomato-grower. Podcast logo by @drakecereal Podcast music by @kritowski Follow on Instagram @no_look_podcast 🏀

NO LOOK is back and laser (beam) focused on the Sacramento Kings, the twin flame of the Toronto Raptors. Today, Blake Gillespie (@sacredhoopsbook) takes over History Check and gives a rhapsodic and poetic chronicle of the Kings, their playoff drought, and what it’s like to be a fan of a sometimes flailing team. (Sound familiar, Raptors fans?????) Mascot check? A black-eyes-to-hell creature named Slamson the Lion who Sarah and Laura think would be into Regina Spektor’s “Samson” tho. News check? All-Star weekend is a-comin’ so Laura and Sarah give a Pitchfork (RIP) style rating and review of the East and West starters. Boyfriend check? Hooooooo boy, there’s a Boston Celtic obsessed with Laura. 👀 Podcast logo by @drakecereal Podcast music by @kritowski Follow us on Instagram @no_look_podcast 🏀

NO LOOK’s most unhinged episode yet. In this episode, Laura and Sarah take us through sizzling Heat Culture. What makes the Heat so good? What impact does Pat Riley’s fashion and management style have on Laura? Why is Sarah so meh about this team? Is Erik Spoelstra that good of a coach to get THAT deal? Why is it SO HARD to figure out audio on a podcast? News check? Soft-launching a new segment called KLAY OF THE DAY. Klay Thompson on the Bay, some seals, how delightful. Finishing up with DRAY OF THE DAY (not a thing) on Draymond Green’s podcast confession about his suspension. NBA boyfriend check? Gary Trent Jr. succeeds at something here! Mikal Bridges is a sunny sweetheart in Paris! Podcast logo by @drakecereal Podcast music by Kritty Uranowski Follow us on Instagram @no_look_podcast 🏀

An unfortunately prescient episode of NO LOOK. On Dec. 29, 2023, Laura and Sarah decided the next episode would be about the New York Knicks. The next day, Sarah’s life partner, OG Anunoby, was traded to the Knicks. A dark day in Toronto Raptors fandom. A day team NO LOOK understood the gravity of their powers. In this episode, Laura gives us the Knicks’ fairly rudimentary history, Sarah’s mascot check is that there is no mascot, and how does everyone feel about the Knicks with OG on the team? Again, dark day in Toronto Raptors history. News check? Aaron Gordon has a rottweiler! Patrick Beverly created his own ALL DAWGS TEAM but what do the fine women at NO LOOK have to say about that? What about an ALL WOODLAND CREATURES TEAM? NBA boyfriend check? SGA is the man of the moment. Pour one out for Sarah and OG Anunoby’s date on the town. Podcast logo by @drakecereal Podcast music by Kritty Uranowski @kritowski Follow us on Instagram @no_look_podcast 🏀

On the fourth episode NO LOOK, we take on the reigning NBA champs, The Denver Nuggets! Horse girl, Nikola Jokic! The pride and joy of Kitchener-Waterloo, Jamal Murray! Denver has a fairly boring history, which we’ve honestly come to expect from this team. (Laura feels not a whole lot for this small market team and Sarah’s fine to hide in the mountains.) The team’s mascot is a lil spicy though so we’ll take it. News check? Christmas Day games! The Detroit Pistons break our hearts! NBA boyfriend of the week? One will force you to listen to Tool’s discography and the other is effortlessly styled. ❣️ Podcast logo by @drakecereal Podcast music by Kritty Uranowski @kritowski Follow us on Instagram @no_look_pod 🏀

In episode three of NO LOOK, we torture Laura with yet another episode about birds: the New Orleans Pelicans! Mascot Check takes its toll on Sarah (prepare your mind, body, and soul for the King Cake Baby.) What’s your dream Smoothie King smoothie? Hear Laura’s gospel on the brand that gives us the best arena name in the league. The team has a fairly sad history and we wish them nothing but the best for the future.  News check? Massive concern around Luka Doncic’s identity crisis (thin headband.) Laura and Sarah apologize in advance for how many times they say JAYLAPS BROZINGIS.  NBA boyfriend of the week? One man who makes you want to chain smoke cigarettes outside a dive bar off the highway to be as cool as him and the other is the tried-and-true love of your life.  Podcast logo by @drakecereal Podcast music by Kritty Uranowski @kritowski Follow us on Instagram @no_look_pod 🏀