The High Cost of 'I'm Fine': The Truth About High-Functioning Anxiety and Invisible Depression

Have you ever had a moment where someone doubted your instincts—only for science to prove you right years later?When I was applying to my medical residency, a doctor scoffed at my concern for BPA and endocrine disruptors. “You don’t believe in that BPA crap, do you?” he said. Well, here we are, decades later, with research linking BPA to miscarriage and endocrine disruption—even from something as simple as touching receipts or airline tickets.And now, the new frontier: microplastics and nanoplastics.A recent Nature Medicine study revealed that human brains contain a spoonful of nanoplastics. Yes, you read that right. Our brains. Our babies’ placentas. Even our breast milk.But before we spiral—let’s take a deep breath together. This episode isn’t here to terrify you. It’s here to inform, empower, and help you take meaningful, practical action.In this episode, we’ll explore:What microplastics and nanoplastics actually are—and where they’re hiding (spoiler: everywhere).The science on how these particles are showing up in our bodies, including our brains, lungs, livers, and even a baby’s first poop.What we do and don’t know about their health effects—and why early research is sounding the alarm.Simple, smart strategies to reduce your personal exposure (yes, there are things you can do).Why individual choices matter—but collective action matters even more.If you’ve ever wondered...Should I toss my plastic cutting board?Are my kid’s sippy cups safe?Is this one more thing to worry about—or a real health threat I should understand?… then this episode is for you.You’ll leave feeling informed—not overwhelmed—and reminded that caring for your health is an act of love. For yourself, for your kids, and for the planet we all share.Because plastic may be forever—but so is our power to make change.Tune in now wherever you listen to podcasts.And if this episode opens your eyes—please share it with a friend. Awareness is the first step toward healing—our bodies and our world.Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplementsMentioned in this episode:Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements

Most women don’t look like they’re falling apart—even when they’re struggling to stay afloat. We keep it all going: raising kids, showing up for work, taking care of everyone else—while silently carrying stress, grief, trauma, and anxiety. And all that holding it together? It comes at a cost.In this heart-opening episode of On Health, Aviva sits down with UK-based psychotherapist and author Helen Marie to explore:🔹 Why high-functioning anxiety, burnout, and people-pleasing often go unseen🔹 How supresseds stress lives in the body—and what our nervous systems are trying to tell us🔹 The basics of Polyvagal Theory and how to map your nervous system🔹 What it means to “meet your nervous system where it’s at”🔹 Somatic practices like tapping and cupping to gently bring your body back to safety🔹 The quiet power of journaling, boundaries, and emotional truth🔹 How to take one small step toward choosing you—without guilt or shameThis episode is for anyone who’s ever whispered “I’m fine” while quietly falling apart—and is ready to begin reclaiming calm, connection, and self-worth, one kind breath at a time.Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplementsMentioned in this episode:Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements

What if the way we care for new mothers is all wrong?Not just lacking. Not just outdated. But built on a model that misses the heart and soul of what postpartum truly is — and what it could be.When I was a home birth midwife, postpartum care was the care. I'd visit mamas and babies at home five or six times in the first few weeks. We’d talk about everything — from latch to lochia, sleep deprivation to soul shifts. It wasn’t "extra." It was essential.It’s part of why I went into medicine, because as a midwife I saw too often, how in this precious, vulnerable, formative window for mothers and babies -  care just disappeared for the mother after the baby was born. A first visit may have been 6 or 8 weeks after the birth, by which time mothers were struggling alone with overwhelm, breastfeeding challenges, or worse, anxiety, depression, isolation, and sometimes they’d given up breastfeeding because they had no support. And when they did get care, all too often they had to sit in waiting rooms, a baby and toddler often in tow, waiting for an appointment only to get 15 minutes with a doctor whose had no idea to support mothers postpartum. This week on On Health, I’m joined by my long-time colleague and kindred spirit Dr. Eva Zasloff — a fellow family physician, artist, mother, and fellow revolutionary in postpartum care — to talk about the radical simplicity and profound necessity of caring for mothers in their homes, in their own rhythm, and on their own terms. Inside the Episode We Talk About:The surprising (and heartbreaking) truth about conventional postpartum visitsWhy 20-minute clinic appointments can do more harm than goodEva’s bold leap from family doctor to founder of Tova Health — a home-based, whole-person care model serving over 600 familiesThe “twilight zone” of early motherhood — and how we can hold space for itWhat home visits offer that clinic visits never canWhy postpartum depression and anxiety are often symptoms of a broken systemThe healing power of birth stories, coconut oil massages, and Zoom mama circles that make a differenceWhat Eva is doing with Tova Health, and what I’m doing with The Mama Pathway, are  not just beautiful experiences for mothers— they’re necessary for maternal health. It’s a return to wisdom we’ve always known. And it’s a model I dream of seeing in communities everywhere.If you’re a doula, a midwife, a family doc, or a mama (or someone who loves one), this episode will touch you deeply — and perhaps inspire you to bring this care into your own community or at least raise your awareness about the importance of listening to, being with, and supporting new mothers. Loved this episode?Share it with a friend, sister, or doula. Leave a review. Join us on Instagram @DrAvivaRomm and let us know what postpartum care has meant for you. And if you’re dreaming of a better way — whether you’re a practitioner or a mama — I see you. And this episode is for you.The Mama Pathway is not your average childbirth education program. It's a powerful virtual membership community and online education experience where traditional midwifery wisdom and modern medicine meet to support you on your most empowered path through pregnancy, birth, and beyond. Go to avivaromm.com/mama-pathway to learn moreMentioned in this episode:The Mama Pathway is not your average childbirth education program. It's a powerful virtual membership community and online education experience where traditional midwifery wisdom and modern medicine meet to support you on your most empowered path through pregnancy, birth, and beyond. Go to https://avivaromm.com/mama-pathway to learn more

In recognition of Maternal Mental Health Month I am re-sharing this 2023 conversation with the founders of The Motherhood Center in NYC. With Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADS) being the #1 complication associated with birth in the US and the #2 cause of maternal mortality, this remains a critical conversation.It’s not just you. You're not crazy. You're not a bad mom. You're not alone. These are words and deep beliefs that resonate through and form the backbone of today’s guests, Catherine Birndorf, MD, and Paige Bellenbaum, LMSW. Catherine and Paige are dedicated to changing the perinatal mental health terrain, and they do it through The Motherhood Center, a place of radical acceptance, nurturance, and individual and group support. On today’s episode, we pull back the curtain on motherhood and redefine what is considered "normal" and "typical". With PMADs (perinatal mood and anxiety disorders) being the #1 complication associated with birth and the #2 cause of maternal mortality, this is a critical conversation. On today’s episode, we unpack why it’s so important that we talk more about these conditions, how to do your best to prevent PMADs, and what to do if you or someone you love has symptoms. Aviva, Paige, and Catherine discuss: The definition of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADS) and the different diagnoses that fall under the PMAD umbrella What PMAD taboos still exist today, why this needs to change, and how Roe v. Wade affects these taboos Paige and Catherine’s personal stories with perinatal mood disorders and what brought them to the point of specializing in PMADS and opening the motherhood center The kinds of physical and psychological feelings and symptoms associated with PMADs and signs birthing people and their providers should watch out for Why we need to move in the direction of making it mandatory for OB-GYNs, midwives, pediatricians, and any providers who come in contact with newer expecting mothers to begin educating their patients about PMADS and screening for symptoms  The effects of the pandemic, social isolation, and potential cultural contributors on PMADS  The role of medication and psychotherapy in treating conditions For more information or to reach out visit themotherhoodcenter.com or call (212) 335-0034. Thank you so much for taking the time to tune in to your body, yourself, and this podcast! Please share the love by sending this to someone in your life who could benefit from the kinds of things we talk about in this space. Make sure to follow your host on Instagram @dr.avivaromm and go to avivaromm.com to join the conversation.

There are the stories we tell out loud, and then there are the ones we keep tucked away—the ones that ache the most, because we’ve carried them in silence.On this episode of On Health, we’re breaking the silence—and the stigma—around some of the most vulnerable, hidden experiences women carry: miscarriage, illness, identity loss, perfectionism, aging, and the loneliness so many of us feel but rarely name.I’m joined by the phenomenal Dr. Jessica Zucker, clinical psychologist and author of the groundbreaking memoir I Had a Miscarriage, and her latest book, Normalize It, which is just what we need: an invitation to stop apologizing for what we’re going through—and start talking about it.Together, we explore:How grief grows in silence—and thrives in stigmaWhat it means when you don’t feel like yourselfWhy midlife isn’t a decline—it’s a reckoningWhat being a “good girl” has cost usWhy loneliness is a serious health issueWhy we are more than what we doHow perfectionism is stealing our joyThis one’s for all the women tired of pretending they’re fine.Who are aching to be seen.Who are ready to stop carrying the weight alone.Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplementsMentioned in this episode:Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements

What if you already have what it takes to breastfeed your baby—and just need the right support to unlock it?This question is at the heart of my conversation with Lisa Paladino, Certified Nurse Midwife, IBCLC, and a fierce advocate for women and babies. Lisa has decades of experience helping families navigate the powerful, joyous, and sometimes  confusing, emotional, and occasionally challenging terrain of breastfeeding.  Not just a brilliant clinician, but a graduate of both my Women’s Integrative and Functional Medicine and Herbal Medicine for Women training programs… and now, a lifelong friend.Lisa is the passionate founder of Tongue Tie Experts. She’s spent decades supporting parents through the intense, sacred, and often confusing path of breastfeeding—especially when things don’t go as planned.Lisa’s journey from hospital-based nurse and midwife to fierce advocate for women’s rights and breastfeeding education is one you won’t forget. And what we unpack in this conversation might change how you see everything from nipple pain to infant sleep—and even adult airway health.In this episode, we dive into:What exactly is an IBCLC—and why it mattersThe silent struggle of mastitis, milk supply issues, and painHow breastfeeding shapes your baby’s airway—and possibly lifelong healthThe heartbreak of not making enough milk—and how to support yourselfSetting yourself up for breastfeeding success before the baby comesWhy so many moms stop breastfeeding before they want to—and how we can change thatAnd yes… we go there with nipple toughening myths, lactation cookies, pumping in broom closets, and airplane glares. Because we’ve all been there—or know someone who has.💬 Favorite Quotes:“Breastfeeding is a vital sign of the infant-maternal dyad. If it’s not working, we need to ask why.” — Lisa Paladino“We’re grown-ass women. Nobody should be telling us what we’re ‘allowed’ to do in birth or postpartum.” — Aviva RommIn this episode, we dive into:You deserve real, informed support—not just platitudes or formula handouts.Breastfeeding might be “natural,” but that doesn’t mean it’s easy or intuitive.Trusting your instincts is medicine.Whether you breastfed for two years, two days, or not at all, you’re still a phenomenal mama.Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplementsThe Mama Pathway is not your average childbirth education program. It's a powerful virtual membership community and online education experience where traditional midwifery wisdom and modern medicine meet to support you on your most empowered path through pregnancy, birth, and beyond. Go to avivaromm.com/mama-pathway to learn moreMentioned in this episode:The Mama Pathway is not your average childbirth education program. It's a powerful virtual membership community and online education experience where traditional midwifery wisdom and modern medicine meet to support you on your most empowered path through pregnancy, birth, and beyond. Go to https://avivaromm.com/mama-pathway to learn moreLooking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here:...

Have you ever left a doctor’s appointment feeling more defeated than when you arrived? Perhaps a diagnosis felt like a life sentence, or a well-meaning comment planted a seed of fear that lingered for months. This isn’t just bad bedside manner; it’s a phenomenon I call “medical hexing.” It’s the subtle, and sometimes not-so-subtle, way that language in medical settings can disempower us, shaping our beliefs and even our health outcomes. Today, we’re diving deep into the power of words in medicine – how they can both heal and profoundly harm. In this episode I give you the down-low on:The Concept of Medical Hexing: How negative language and disempowering beliefs, often unintentionally, can act as a "medical hex," influencing our health beyond just our physical symptoms.The Nocebo Effect's Reality: This isn't just "woo-woo." The "evil twin" of the placebo effect, has a neurobiological basis, demonstrating how negative expectations can directly impact our physiology.Words as Physiological Triggers: The language used by healthcare providers directly impacts our brain and body, triggering stress responses, altering hormone levels, and even influencing our immune systems.The Power Imbalance: The traditional doctor-patient power dynamic can amplify the nocebo effect, making us more susceptible to negative suggestions and limiting our ability to advocate for ourselves.Reclaiming Your Agency: It's crucial to recognize your own expertise in your body and health, to question negative prognoses, and to seek out providers who foster trust and empowerment.The Body's Innate Healing Capacity: We must shift away from a disease-focused model and recognize the body's remarkable ability to heal, a capacity that can be enhanced or diminished by our beliefs.For a deeper dive into advocating for yourself within the medical system, be sure to read my book, "Hormone Intelligence." It includes a full chapter dedicated to empowering you to get the supportive, respectful healthcare you deserve. Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplementsMentioned in this episode:Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements

What if friendships were just as vital to our health as sleep, nutrition, and exercise? Research suggests they might be. But in our fast-paced, modern world, nurturing deep and lasting friendships can feel overwhelming.In this episode, I sit down with journalist and author Anna Goldfarb to explore the evolving landscape of friendship—why it can be so challenging to maintain meaningful connections as we move through different life phases, and what we can do to strengthen the relationships that nourish us the most.Anna’s book, Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections, gave me so many “aha” moments about why friendships shift, how we can show up for each other in a more intentional way, and how to release the guilt we sometimes feel when friendships change.Join us as we unpack:How relationships have changed over time—why past generations had built-in social structures that kept friendships steady, and how today’s hyper-fluid, fast-paced world has reshaped the way we connect.How understanding the difference between “bathtub friends,” “swimming pool friends,” and “memorial friends” can ease the strain in relationships and help us let go of unrealistic expectations.Why some friendships fade over time (and why it’s not your fault!) and how to cope with changing relationships.The impact of social media on our lives and how having ‘friends’ online can leave us feeling more lonely than not. How we can keep connections alive through life changes—from motherhood to career shifts, big moves, and more.What to do when a connection feels out of sync—how to know whether to repair it or let it go.If you’ve ever felt lonely, longed for deeper relationships, or struggled to navigate the shifting nature of connection as life evolves—this conversation is for you.The way we connect in our modern lives is changing, but meaningful relationships are still the key to a healthy, fulfilling life. Have a listen to learn how to nourish the connections that truly matter. Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplementsMentioned in this episode:Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements

Have you ever felt torn between dreaming big and staying realistic? Between trusting your instincts and wondering if fear is holding you back? In today’s conversation, we’re diving deep into what it truly means to reclaim your personal sovereignty—the ability to stand fully in your own power, free from self-doubt, external expectations, and the weight of comparison.My guest today, Dr. Emma Seppälä, is a psychologist, researcher, and bestselling author dedicated to helping people cultivate happiness, resilience, and self-leadership. As a Yale lecturer and the Science Director at Stanford’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research, she’s spent years studying what actually helps us thrive—not just succeed.Together, we explore:The social science behind self-doubt and imposter syndrome—and how to break free from it.The inner critic: where it comes from, why it keeps us small, and how to find inner quiet.The role of meditation and breathwork in rewiring our nervous systems for resilience.How comparison culture and social media impact our self-worth—and how to navigate them with sovereignty.Why we need to redefine success and self-worth in a world that constantly tells us who we should be.Daily practices to help you stay rooted in self-trust, confidence, and joy.This conversation is full of powerful takeaways, practical tools, and a deeply personal look into how we all wrestle with self-doubt—even those of us who have spent decades doing this work. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re enough, struggled with self-judgment, or wanted to free yourself from limiting beliefs, this episode is for you.If this episode resonates with you, share it with a friend who might need a reminder of their own power. And if you love it, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it helps other women find this show!Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplementsMentioned in this episode:Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements

“You’re holding your baby too much.” “Just let them cry it out.” “You’ll spoil them if you respond every time they cry.”If you’ve ever heard these words—or wondered yourself whether nurturing your baby too much could backfire—you’re not alone. But the science is clear: responding to and connecting with our babies doesn’t spoil them; it builds their brains for lifelong emotional resilience and mental health.In this episode of On Health, I’m joined by neuroscientist, doula, and infant sleep specialist Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum, author of The Nurture Revolution: Grow Your Baby’s Brain and Transform Their Mental Health. We’re diving into:Why babies need co-regulation, not early independenceThe neuroscience behind sleep training—and why much of it conflicts with infant brain developmentHow small, intentional nurturing acts can buffer against stress and even heal intergenerational traumaAnd because so many parents today are raising children without the village we deserve, we’ll also talk about what it means to nurture our babies—and ourselves—sustainably.If you’ve ever felt torn between instinct and conventional parenting advice, this episode will give you clarity, confidence, and science-backed reassurance. Tune in now.Links and ResourcesGreer’s book, The Nurture Revolution Greer Kirshenbaum’s websiteGreer’s workshops, resources, and coaching for parents and professionalsSafe cosleeping guidelines from the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Lab at University of Notre Dame Aviva’s podcast on colic in babies Join The Mama Pathway, Aviva’s complete pregnancy, postpartum, and new mama journey Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplementsThe Mama Pathway is not your average childbirth education program. It's a powerful virtual membership community and online education experience where traditional midwifery wisdom and modern medicine meet to support you on your most empowered path through pregnancy, birth, and beyond. Go to avivaromm.com/mama-pathway to learn moreMentioned in this episode:The Mama Pathway is not your average childbirth education program. It's a powerful virtual membership community and online education experience where traditional midwifery wisdom and modern medicine meet to support you on your most empowered path through pregnancy, birth, and beyond. Go to https://avivaromm.com/mama-pathway to learn moreLooking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements