From Mafia to Messiah: Reviewing Alto Knights and The Chosen

"Send us a Text!"Holiday rivalries reach new heights in "Deck the Halls," where Christmas spirit becomes a battleground between two suburban dads determined to outdo each other. Matthew Broderick brilliantly portrays Steve Finch, the town's self-proclaimed "Christmas guy" whose meticulously planned holiday traditions leave little room for spontaneity. When Danny DeVito's character Buddy Hall moves in across the street with dreams of making his house visible from space through an extravagant light display, their competing visions of Christmas perfection spark an all-out neighborhood war.What makes this film stand out among holiday comedies is the perfect casting and character dynamics. Broderick and DeVito embody the classic odd-couple energy – one obsessively organized, the other chaotically ambitious – while Kristen Chenoweth and Kristen Davis deliver standout performances as wives caught in the crossfire of their husbands' escalating antics. The supporting cast, including Fred Armisen in a quirky cameo role, adds layers of humor to this festive face-off.Beyond the laughs and light displays, "Deck the Halls" explores meaningful themes about finding purpose, overcoming mid-life crises, and recognizing what truly matters during the holiday season. While some jokes haven't aged perfectly since its 2006 release, the film captures that cozy Christmas atmosphere with snowy landscapes, hometown festivities, and the underlying message that family connections outshine even the brightest holiday decorations. Whether you're looking for slapstick comedy or heartwarming moments, this movie delivers a blend of both that will have you appreciating your own neighborhood's Christmas lights a little differently this season. Have you ever had a neighbor whose holiday decorations went completely overboard? Share your stories with us!

"Send us a Text!"Horror movies live and die by our connection to their characters. Why should we fear for people we don't care about? This fundamental challenge haunts Sony Pictures' latest video game adaptation "Until Dawn," a time-loop thriller that struggles to make us invest in its imperiled teens.Based on the acclaimed 2015 PlayStation game, this adaptation follows friends trapped in a deadly cycle where mysterious entities hunt them down in increasingly gruesome ways. They must survive until dawn to break free. On paper, it sounds promising. In execution, it stumbles right from the start by dropping viewers into the story without proper character development or backstory.The film's brightest moment comes with Peter Stormare's appearance as Dr. Hill, reimagined from his psychiatrist role in the game to a gas station attendant who may hold vital clues. Game fans will appreciate this nod to the source material, performed by the original actor. As the narrative progresses toward its conclusion, the tension finally builds to something meaningful, creating genuine suspense about whether our heroes will escape their temporal prison.Director David Blue Garcia faced an impossible task – condensing a 10-hour, choice-driven game into a standard movie runtime. Rather than attempting a direct adaptation, he created something new that borrows elements from the original. Unfortunately, this approach loses much of what made the game special: the connection to characters whose fates rested in players' hands. The result earns a modest 3/5 stars – not terrible, but another disappointment for those hoping video game adaptations would finally find their footing.Curious about the fate of these time-trapped teens? Listen to our full review now, and join us next week when we tackle Marvel's "Thunderbolts." Subscribe to The Couch Critic for weekly film breakdowns where every movie gets its close-up!

"Send us a Text!"Remember that magical car that could fly, float, and bring families together? "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" zooms back into our hearts as we revisit this 1968 musical fantasy classic starring the incomparable Dick Van Dyke. What we discovered might surprise you – did you know this whimsical children's tale was penned by Ian Fleming, creator of James Bond? This unexpected literary connection adds a fascinating layer to a film many of us cherished growing up.At a substantial 2 hours and 24 minutes (feeling even longer with its theatrical intermission), this movie takes viewers on quite the journey. Dick Van Dyke's physical comedy prowess shines throughout, particularly during the mechanical doll sequence where he performs alongside Sally Ann Howes as "Truly Scrumptious." These meticulously choreographed moments continue delighting children today, proving the film's timeless appeal despite its age.The Sherman Brothers' memorable songs form the backbone of the experience – from "Toot Sweets" to "Chu-Chi Face" and the iconic title song. Yet perhaps the most surprising revelation for those returning to the film as adults is how little screen time the magical car actually receives! While the flying car brings characters together, it's the human relationships and flights of imagination that drive the story forward.We also tackle the film's more disturbing elements (that Child Catcher still gives nightmares!) and debate its curious association with Christmas despite containing absolutely zero holiday content whatsoever. Why has this non-Christmas movie become holiday viewing tradition? Should you revisit it with your family this season? Tune in to hear our passionate debate and final ratings of this beloved classic that continues to captivate generations of moviegoers. Subscribe now for more deep dives into cinema classics and forgotten gems!

"Send us a Text!"Cinematic mystery boxes can yield treasures or disappointments – and this week, Nathan unpacks a decidedly strange Screen Unseen experience with A24's "The Legend of Ochi." This peculiar PG-rated creature feature stars Willem Dafoe, Emily Watson, and Finn Wolfhard in a tale about a shy village girl who discovers a wounded baby creature and embarks on a quest to return it home.What starts as an intriguing premise quickly unravels into narrative confusion. Nathan breaks down how the film introduces compelling elements – like a mysterious bite that causes swelling, the protagonist's unexplained ability to communicate with creatures, and hints at village-creature conflict – only to abandon them without resolution. The frustration of watching potential storylines collapse makes for a particularly disappointing viewing experience, especially from a studio known for its boundary-pushing content.Despite giving the film a measly two-star rating, Nathan finds silver linings in Willem Dafoe's reliable performance (despite the actor's increasingly eclectic role choices) and the undeniable cuteness of the baby Ochi itself. The creatures, described as a cross between Gremlins with Wookiee-like vocalizations, provide some visual interest but can't save the disjointed storytelling. Join us for this brutally honest review that reminds us sometimes mystery screenings miss the mark – and stay tuned for next week's potentially equally disappointing video game adaptation of "Until Dawn." Whether you're looking for films to watch or avoid, the Couch Critic has you covered with unfiltered opinions on every Cinema Saturday.

"Send us a Text!"Meet Me in St. Louis sparks a fascinating debate about what truly constitutes a Christmas movie. Does a film need to center around the holiday itself, or is it enough that Christmas simply occurs within the narrative? This vibrant MGM masterpiece from 1944 follows the Smith family through four seasons in turn-of-the-century St. Louis, culminating in a poignant Christmas segment that forever changed holiday music.The unquestionable star is Judy Garland, whose musical talent shines throughout, particularly during her heart-wrenching performance of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" – a song that originated from this very film. We explore Garland's complex personal history, including her marriage to the film's director Vincente Minnelli and their daughter Liza, alongside the tragic aspects of Garland's short life. The movie offers a fascinating window into 1940s gender expectations, with young women openly pursuing marriage as their primary goal and theatrical performances that modern viewers might find stylistically dated yet charming.We're divided on our final verdict – one host considers it a perfect five-star classic representing quintessential Hollywood filmmaking, while the other appreciates its historical significance but questions its rewatchability as a holiday staple. Whether you're a classic film enthusiast or simply curious about the origins of one of our most beloved Christmas songs, this episode offers fresh perspectives on a timeless piece of American cinema. What's your take – is Meet Me in St. Louis essential holiday viewing or simply a classic film that happens to feature Christmas? Share your thoughts and join the conversation!

"Send us a Text!"Gotham's darkest secrets resurface in "Batman Under the Red Hood" as a mysterious vigilante forces the Dark Knight to confront his greatest failure. This week on Cinema Saturdays, we explore this emotional DC animated feature that brings one of Batman's most tragic storylines to life.What happens when Batman's moral code is challenged by someone who knows his methods all too well? The Red Hood's arrival in Gotham reopens old wounds and brings buried memories into the light, creating a compelling narrative that stands strong despite some casting choices that might surprise longtime fans. While the absence of Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill as Batman and Joker initially creates a disconnect, standout performances from Jensen Ackles as Red Hood and Neil Patrick Harris as Dick Grayson ultimately elevate this emotional tale of revenge and redemption.We dive deep into why DC's animated features consistently outshine Marvel's offerings, breaking down the strengths and weaknesses of this fan-favorite Batman story. From the fluid action sequences to the psychological depth of its character work, "Batman Under the Red Hood" earns a solid 3.5-4 stars out of 5 despite some minor drawbacks. Whether you're a diehard Batman fan or new to DC animation, this review explains why this film deserves a spot in your weekend watchlist. Have a recommendation for our next Cinema Saturday? Let us know - your suggestion might be our next review!

"Send us a Text!"The Polar Express stands as a landmark in animation history – the very first full-length computer motion capture film, earning a place in the Guinness Book of World Records alongside other Tom Hanks pioneering projects like Toy Story. Twenty years since its release, hosts Nathan and Katy analyze whether this Christmas classic holds up or falls into the uncanny valley.Katy shares her deep personal connection to the story, explaining how both the original book and film bring tears to her eyes with the iconic line "the bell still rings for all those who still believe." Her family tradition of watching it and singing along to memorable songs like "Hot Chocolate" highlights why this film remains culturally significant despite its technical shortcomings.Nathan takes the critical perspective, pointing out the occasionally unsettling animation – from the staring little girl to the creepy puppet sequence and questionable hobo ghost character. Both hosts agree these elements seem unnecessarily frightening for a children's Christmas film. Yet they unanimously praise Josh Groban's emotional song "Believe" as capturing the film's magical essence.The conversation explores how The Polar Express transcended cinema to become embedded in American Christmas culture, with trains across the country transformed into real-world Polar Express experiences complete with hot chocolate, cookies, and conductors punching golden tickets. This cultural phenomenon demonstrates why, despite its flaws, the film earns high marks as a Christmas classic – Katy awards it 5/5 stars for Christmas spirit while Nathan gives 4/5, with slightly lower overall ratings acknowledging the dated animation.Ready to revisit this holiday staple or experience it for the first time? Listen now and decide for yourself if you still hear the bell ringing!

"Send us a Text!"Unexpected joy from unlikely places - that's what this week's Cinema Saturday episode delivers as we dive into the surprisingly entertaining world of The Minecraft Movie. When I first saw the trailer, my expectations couldn't have been lower. A movie based on a video game with no real storyline? It seemed destined for the pile of forgettable video game adaptations.What I discovered instead was a genuinely fun cinematic experience that captures the spirit of randomness and imagination that makes Minecraft so beloved. Director Jared Hess (of Napoleon Dynamite fame) brings his signature quirky style to the film, particularly in the real-world scenes that feel reminiscent of his earlier cult classics. Jason Momoa delivers a standout performance channeling Uncle Rico energy, while Jack Black balances his comedic talents without going overboard. The film cleverly alternates between two distinct styles - quirky indie scenes in the real world and more conventional blockbuster sequences in the Minecraft universe.While the storyline follows familiar beats, the film's commitment to pure entertainment value and its embracing of randomness (including Jack Black's memorable "lava chicken" song) make it work as the perfect theater experience. It's not trying to win awards; it's creating an escape where imagination reigns supreme. My only significant criticism centers on the film's language choices given its target audience - a growing issue in children's entertainment where studios seem confused about who their actual audience is. Despite this concern, The Minecraft Movie earns a solid 4/5 for exceeding expectations and delivering genuine fun.Have you been surprised by a movie you thought would be terrible? Share your thoughts with us on social media by searching for Couch Critic, and don't forget to recommend films for future episodes! Next week, we'll be reviewing Batman Under the Red Hood as suggested by our listener Sam.

"Send us a Text!"Christmas movies should warm our hearts and inspire holiday spirit, but do they all deliver? My long-awaited review of "Fred Claus" finally arrives, exploring whether this Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti vehicle deserves a place in your holiday rotation.What happens when Santa's bitter older brother reluctantly joins the North Pole operation? On paper, this premise sounds promising—a fresh take on Christmas mythology through complicated family dynamics. Unfortunately, the execution leaves much to be desired. Paul Giamatti emerges as the film's saving grace, bringing genuine warmth and emotion to Santa Claus. His performance stands in stark contrast to Vaughn, who essentially plays himself rather than creating a unique character with meaningful growth.The film does have its moments. The cleverly conceived "Siblings Anonymous" scene featuring celebrity brothers provides genuine laughs, briefly showcasing what this movie could have been with more creative writing. However, these bright spots can't overcome the film's fundamental issues, including dated CGI that superimposes actors' heads onto smaller bodies—a technical choice that hasn't aged well since its 2007 release. For a Christmas movie that should feel magical, these effects break the immersion and remind us we're watching something manufactured rather than enchanting.While other holiday classics like "The Santa Clause" successfully transform reluctant protagonists into Christmas believers, "Fred Claus" fails to demonstrate meaningful character development. By the final credits, Fred may have helped save Christmas, but has he truly changed? I give it just 2.5/5 on my Christmas feeling scale and 2/5 overall. Don't miss next week's episode where Katy and I discuss what might be the quintessential Christmas classic—"The Polar Express." Subscribe now and share your favorite holiday films with us!

"Send us a Text!"From the gritty streets of mob-controlled New York to the dusty roads of first-century Jerusalem, this week's double feature takes us through vastly different cinematic worlds with surprising results.Robert De Niro's "Alto Knights" promised to be a quintessential mafia film with the legendary actor taking on dual roles as crime bosses Frank and Vito. While the prosthetics and visual differentiation between characters impressed, the film ultimately delivers a lukewarm experience that struggles to justify its place among 2025's most anticipated releases. Despite its documentary-style approach to the real-life takedown of American organized crime, the narrative drags and fails to captivate beyond mild historical interest. With sparse theater attendance and minimal marketing push, this 3.5/5 star offering demonstrates that even De Niro's star power can't elevate mediocre storytelling.Meanwhile, "The Chosen" continues its remarkable journey as a faith-based phenomenon that transcends typical Christian content limitations. The first two episodes of Season 5 build methodically toward Jesus's crucifixion, using the slow-burn approach that has made previous seasons so effective. Phenomenal acting brings scripture to life without attempting to replace or alter biblical truth. When Jesus overturns tables in the temple, viewers witness His righteous anger and grief in a way that challenges our modern spiritual complacency: Are we grieved by what grieves God? This visual enhancement of familiar scripture earns the series a perfect 5/5 stars and serves as evidence that Hollywood's increasing openness to quality Christian content may represent a significant shift in entertainment trends.Whether you're drawn to crime dramas or biblical narratives, this episode offers honest criticism and thoughtful analysis from a critic who refuses to watch anything less than everything. Subscribe now and join me next week for my surprisingly revealing take on the new Minecraft movie!