What IVF, Pregnancy Loss & NICU Really Do to Your Mental Health S4E68

In this episode, I’m joined by Mary Jenner, paediatric nurse, founder of The Butterfly Pig, and advocate for reducing medical trauma in children. After experiencing her own daughter’s NICU stay following a traumatic birth, Mary saw first-hand how play can help children understand, process and cope with complex medical experiences.We talk about supporting NICU siblings, preparing children for hospital visits and medical procedures, and how play can reduce fear, anxiety and trauma. Mary shares practical strategies parents can use to help children make sense of medical experiences, advocate for their needs, and feel more involved in their care.How play helps children process NICU experiences and medical traumaSupporting siblings when a baby is in neonatal carePreparing children for hospital visits, blood tests and medical proceduresRecognising signs of medical anxiety and trauma in childrenPractical ways parents can help children feel safer, more informed and empowered in healthcare settingsResources & links mentioned in this episode:⁠⁠The NICU Space Community⁠⁠ An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.The Butterfly Pig Medical play resources, realistic medical toys and educational tools designed to help children understand, prepare for and process healthcare experiences.Playful PrescriptionsA free app that provides age-appropriate play ideas to help children understand medical conditions, diagnoses and healthcare experiences.Stay connectedInstagram: ⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠miraclemoon.co.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The NICU Space community: ⁠⁠The NICU SpaceConnect with our guest, Mary JennerInstagram: @thebutterflypig Website: The Butterfly PigOne last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I’m joined by Emily, mum to Max, who was born six weeks early and spent 16 days in neonatal care. Emily shares her experience of premature birth, navigating the uncertainty of NICU, and the overwhelming feeling of waiting for her baby to come home.We talk about the emotional impact of neonatal care, life after NICU, and how Emily turned her experience into a children's book, Waiting for Max. Together, we explore how to support siblings during a NICU stay, why honesty and connection matter when talking to children about neonatal care, and how creativity can help families process difficult experiences.In this episode, we talk about:Premature birth at 34 weeks and the emotional impact of NICUThe experience of waiting for your baby to come home from neonatal careLife after NICU, including postpartum anxiety and processing traumaHow to support siblings when a baby is in neonatal careUsing books, creativity and storytelling to help children understand NICUResources & links mentioned in this episode:The NICU Space Community⁠⁠ An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.Waiting for MaxEmily's children's book designed to help siblings and families understand the NICU experience through creativity, imagination and connection.UKSuperDinky AmazonWaterstones(People can also request it at their favourite local bookstore in the UK)USAmazonStay connectedInstagram: ⁠⁠@miraclemoonukWebsite: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠miraclemoon.co.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The NICU Space community: ⁠The NICU SpaceConnect with our guest, Emily RosenInstagram: @emilyrosencreativeTikTok @emily.rosen.creativeWebsite: emilyrosencreative.comOne last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I’m joined by Helena Morais, bereaved mother, writer, speaker and founder of Maila’s Present. Helena shares the story of her daughter Maila, who died just before birth at 36 weeks and 5 days following undiagnosed pre-eclampsia and stillbirth.We talk about the trauma and shock of baby loss, navigating grief after stillbirth, and the importance of helping parents feel connected to their baby after death. Helena also shares how her experience led her to create Maila’s Present, alongside her work advocating for better bereavement care, greater awareness around Black maternal health, and more compassionate support for grieving families.In this episode, we talk about:Stillbirth at 36 weeks and the trauma of losing a baby before birthPre-eclampsia, maternity care and Black maternal health disparitiesGrief, detachment and bonding after baby lossThe importance of memory making and bereavement support after stillbirthParenting after loss, spirituality, and keeping a connection with your babyResources & links mentioned in this episode:The NICU Space Community⁠⁠An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.Maila’s PresentPersonalised storybooks and resources created to help families honour and remember their babies after loss.Legacy of Leo Support for LGBTQ+ families experiencing baby loss.Ebony Bonds Bereavement SupportSupport for Black families experiencing baby loss and bereavement.Muslim Bereavement Support ServiceBereavement support for Muslim families.Stay connectedInstagram: ⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠miraclemoon.co.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠The NICU Space community: ⁠The NICU Space⁠⁠⁠Connect with our guest, Helena Morais Instagram: ⁠@mailaspresent⁠ LinkedIn: Helena MoraisOne last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I’m joined by Naomi, who shares her deeply personal journey through pregnancy loss, losing twins, and later giving birth to triplets who required neonatal care. We talk about the emotional complexity of grieving while still being pregnant, and what it’s like stepping into the NICU after such a layered experience.Naomi opens up about navigating fear, hope, and survival mode all at once, and how her journey has shaped her as a mother. We also explore the lasting impact of loss alongside neonatal care, and why so many parents feel caught between grief and gratitude.In this episode, we talk about:Pregnancy loss and the experience of losing twinsNavigating pregnancy after loss and the emotional toll it bringsGiving birth to triplets and entering the NICUThe complex mix of grief, gratitude, and survival modeHow loss and neonatal care can shape identity and motherhoodResources & links mentioned in this episode:The NICU Space Community⁠⁠An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.Tommy’s Research on C-section scars & premature birthshttps://www.tommys.org/about-us/news-views/new-research-reveals-clues-about-link-between-some-c-section-scars-andStay connectedInstagram: ⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠Website: ⁠⁠⁠miraclemoon.co.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The NICU Space community: ⁠The NICU Space⁠⁠⁠Connect with our guest, NaomiInstagram: @fenfamfitnessandtripletsOne last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Julianne Boutaleb, a perinatal psychologist specialising in fertility, reproductive trauma, and perinatal mental health. We explore the often-overlooked emotional impact of fertility struggles, IVF, pregnancy loss, and how these experiences can intersect with neonatal care (NICU).We talk about reproductive trauma, disenfranchised grief, and the concept of the “reproductive story” and why so many parents feel stuck in survival mode long after their baby is here. This conversation explores identity, shame, and the layered impact of fertility and NICU experiences on mental health and parenthood.In this episode, we talk about:What reproductive trauma is and how fertility, IVF and NICU experiences build over timePregnancy loss, miscarriage and disenfranchised griefThe “reproductive story” and disrupted expectations of parenthoodWhy many parents feel stuck in survival mode after NICUIdentity, shame and the long-term mental health impact of fertility journeysResources & links mentioned in this episode:⁠⁠The NICU Space Community⁠⁠An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.Make Birth Better Article- Is My Baby Affected by Birth Trauma and What Can I Do to Help? https://www.makebirthbetter.org/blog/is-my-baby-affected-by-birth-traumaRescripted Article: Parenting After Infertility: Do We Ever Truly Move on from Fertility Trauma?https://rescripted.com/posts/parenting-after-infertility-do-we-ever-truly-move-on-from-fertility-trauma Stay connectedInstagram: ⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠Website: ⁠⁠⁠miraclemoon.co.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The NICU Space community: ⁠The NICU SpaceConnect with our guest, Dr. Julianne BoutalebInstagram: @parenthoodinmind One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, Danielle joins me to share her journey through infertility, pregnancy with triplets, vanishing twin syndrome, and the premature birth of her twin girls during COVID.We talk about the trauma of unexpected early labour, being separated from her babies after birth, and the emotional reality of navigating NICU life with twins. Danielle also opens up about how the experience impacted her relationship, led to single motherhood, and how she now manages the ongoing stress of raising three children while navigating a recent Type 1 diabetes diagnosis for one of her daughters.In this episode, we talk about:Infertility, pregnancy with triplets, and vanishing twin syndromeThe premature birth of twins during COVID and NICU separation traumaHow NICU experiences can impact relationships and identityThe realities of single motherhood after neonatal careLiving in survival mode while parenting three young childrenNavigating a new Type 1 diabetes diagnosis after NICU traumaResources & links mentioned in this episode:The NICU Space Community: An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.Stay connectedInstagram:⁠ ⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠Website: ⁠⁠⁠miraclemoon.co.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The NICU Space community: ⁠The NICU Space⁠⁠⁠Connect with our guest, DanielleInstagram: @Surthrivalmode One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I’m joined by Lottie from Leo’s Neonatal and NICU Neuroscience to explore what happens in the brain and body during and after neonatal care.We talk about the NICU nervous system response, what survival mode actually means, and why hyper vigilance, snapping, overthinking, and the inability to switch off make so much sense after trauma. We also explore matrescence, the neuroscience of becoming a parent, and how neonatal care can shape identity, stress responses, and long-term wellbeing.Lottie and I discuss why so many NICU parents feel stuck in survival mode long after discharge, how trauma can show up physically in the body, and the powerful role of validation, community, and nervous system support in healing.In this episode, we talk about:⁠The NICU Space Community⁠An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.The NICU Parent Handbook A new resource I’ve created to help parents make sense of the thoughts and feelings that often follow neonatal care. It explores common experiences like guilt, grief, hypervigilance and anxiety, alongside practical tools to help parents cope. Coming soon.Stay connectedInstagram: ⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠Website: ⁠⁠miraclemoon.co.uk⁠⁠⁠The NICU Space community: ⁠The NICU Space⁠⁠@nicu_neuroscienceOne last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I’m joined by Hayley, NICU mum and creator behind The SEN and Prem Mum, who shares her experience of premature birth during COVID, her daughter’s neonatal journey, and the path to discovering autism and ADHD within her family.We talk about Hayley’s experience of severe preeclampsia and delivering at 29 weeks, alongside her daughter’s autism diagnosis and her own late diagnosis of ADHD and autism. We explore the complex overlap between prematurity, trauma, and neurodivergence, as well as the realities of parenting neurodivergent children while navigating sensory overwhelm and finding support.In this episode, we talk about:Premature birth at 29 weeks due to severe preeclampsiaNICU experiences, separation after birth, and early emotional impactRecognising early signs of autism and navigating diagnosisThe overlap between prematurity, trauma, autism, and ADHDReceiving a late diagnosis of autism and ADHD as a parentParenting neurodivergent children and managing sensory overwhelmResources & links mentioned in this episode:The NICU Space CommunityAn online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.The NICU Parent HandbookA new resource I’ve created to help parents make sense of the thoughts and feelings that often follow neonatal care. It explores common experiences like guilt, grief, hypervigilance and anxiety, alongside practical tools to help parents cope. Coming soon.Stay connectedInstagram: @miraclemoonukWebsite: ⁠miraclemoon.co.uk⁠The NICU Space community: ⁠The NICU Space⁠Connect with our guest, HayleyInstagram: @the_sen_and_prem_mum One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, Lorna Tallowin, NICU parent and founder of Super Dinky, turns the questions back to me, inviting me to share my own NICU journey.We talk about my pregnancy, delivering unexpectedly at 31 weeks, and what the early weeks in neonatal intensive care were like. We also explore survival mode, dissociation, ongoing anxiety, and the identity shift that comes with being a NICU parent.Lorna and I discuss why community, validation, and psychological support are so important for parents after NICU, and the gaps that still exist in care.In this episode, we talk about:My premature birth at 31 weeks and early NICU experiencesSurvival mode, dissociation, and emotional overwhelmOngoing anxiety, hypervigilance, and health-related worry after NICUGuilt, grief, and the pressure to “make it up” to your childThe importance of community and validation for NICU parentsHow Miracle Moon began and grew from lived experienceResources & links mentioned in this episode:The NICU Space CommunityAn online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.The NICU Parent HandbookA new resource I’ve created to help parents make sense of the thoughts and feelings that often follow neonatal care. It explores common experiences like guilt, grief, hypervigilance and anxiety, alongside practical tools to help parents cope. Coming soon. Super DinkyFounded by Lorna, NICU Mum and Beth NICU nurse, @superdinky creates meaningful products for NICU families while raising awareness of the experience and helping parents feel part of a wider community. SuperDinky - Premature Baby Clothes and NICU support based in the UKStay ConnectedInstagram: @miraclemoonukWebsite: miraclemoon.co.ukThe NICU Space community: The NICU SpaceOne last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

Before we mention today’s guest – a quick update about The NICU Space Podcast. Today’s episode wraps up season 3, and we’re going to be taking a short break over Christmas and early 2026. We hope that you and your family also manage a restful time over Christmas, whatever that looks like for you.Today’s guest, Ola, is the founder of the charity “Colourful Beginnings”, which she created after having two premature babies in NICU. The charity does so much good work to support other NICU parents, primarily around sending out “treasure boxes” of things the parents can keep and know that they are being thought of.She joins us to talk through her experiences in NICU, how the charity got started and the work that they do to help others going through the same.In this episode, we’re chatting about:- Ola’s experiences of having her first child at 23 weeks and her second at 29 weeks- The disbelief and shock she went through on learning she was pregnant for a second time- What led to her creating the charity, Colourful Beginnings- The Colourful Beginnings treasure boxes and how the charity works to support other NICU parents💌 Check out the full show notes for this episode here, where you can find timestamps, a transcript and any links or resources we think are relevant to this episode. If this episode resonates with you or if you have questions, reach out to us on Instagram or shoot us an email at [email protected].🎧 We love engaging with our listeners! Share a screenshot of this episode and don't forget to tag us on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ when you're tuning in.⭐️ Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode.